Thanks for the replies and support everyone.
Adrizzle said:
f you havent hit the gym. You should hard. I have a p good v taper that i've had since i was 20. I got a beer belly now, but the shoulders help a bunch. If you got them Indian monkey genetics your delts should grow fast.
Man consider if 7 hours of pickup is worth your time. You could do 3 and then hit the weights.
I do go to the gym, I haven't written about it much in that log lately but I've been with a personal trainer for the past 3 weeks. Here's also my existing workout history: https://killyourinnerloser.com/forums/viewtopic.php?p=27844#p27844
I was just saying that it'll take some time for me to be where I want to with that.
pancakemouse said:
In a future universe, a version of you who looks exactly the same, but who presents a slow, masculine, charming vibe to women has infinitely better success. And along with this vibe, improving your ability to flirt, show intent, touch, demonstrate higher value, build tension, do less interview mode, and hold your frame will only amplify your results.
You're right. I did get caught up in the looks thing, because I've seen better-looking guys pretty much do similar things as me when they talk to girls, yet they get more results than I do. I think it is important for me to be aware of that, and I'll have to make up in other ways. Certainly if I knew Chinese it'd help with the Chinese girls. I think I should have zoned into that point harder in my original post, but if I don't have looks (I'm not saying I look ugly, but it's not something that's a + for me), then what value do I have? I have to index into other things like you mentioned.
And the "chodes at the mall with the hot asian gfs" got them for different reasons other than looks. Likely social circle, and we can speculate things like "oh she has all the control in the relationship, and he'd never have another chance with any other girl, blah blah". But none of that is helpful for me because 1) I'm not in that social circle and 2) I don't have that hot asian gf.
I'm saying I don't have the up front sex appeal based on my looks (right now, it will come in the future), and beyond that there's no other reason for most of the girls to meet up with me. Essentially a couple things I have to keep in mind in the meanwhile:
1. Accept low percentages (and I mean <0.1% vs 3%) for a while, because it's clearly better than zero as anyone can see from my log
2. Figure out what value I can provide to girls otherwise to compensate and find out how to incorporate that on approaches.
I'll be convinced that my looks are fine once I have an online dating profile that nets me decent volume (as in likes/matches). That's the only objective metric I have.
MILFandCookies said:
And your conlcusion was that it was a failure, because you didn't stick your dick in her.
Haha sorry, I think you took my statement too far. I considered it a success, I had a lot of fun.
The "blueballed with another pull+no hookup" part was a joke (since I've had a lot of those, but in less satisfying ways). Sorry if it came off as disappointment because it really wasn't.
Paw said:
A question here is, what is your game actually? What do you do when you approach? Have you thought about what vibe you give off?
1. stop the girl if she's walking with "hey, [excuse me]". try to make sure she's standing still and paying attention. very occasionally i'll walk and talk but i'm veering away from this.
2. some opener. ranging from "hey, you're pretty/cute [and i wanted to meet you]" to "you're cute as fuck" to "you're freaking adorable" to some specific compliment about her style/clothes/hair/whatever.
3. "what are you up to" (honestly i might cut this one out, i find myself feeling kind of awkward when i ask this)
4. small talk and cold read basic questions until there's something i can latch onto
5. make future projections about traveling (because i like that), adlib. usually at this point i feel pretty comfortable and can talk about anything and it doesn't feel like an "approach" anymore
6. pitch instadate and/or probe date logisitics
7. if not instadate, grab the number
Most approaches don't get past 2. I consider it a real interaction if I can get past 3-4. So if I go out on a Sunday afternoon and have a 70 approach blast, it probably means like 50+ of them didn't get past 2.
Btw, I want to note that my approach volume isn't anything special. There's just a lot of people at the mall. And this mall has 1) mostly shy Asians 2) other people approaching girls 3) other people soliciting things (e.g. Bible study), so pretty much everyone has their radar up, and you get way more instant deflections than usual.
I've also been lightly touching the girl's arm and etc here and there. I think once I get past the initial hurdle of "uhhh I'm talking to someone I don't know but I'm interested sexually" and I have things I can talk about with them, I loosen up and my vibe is more playful and I tease a lot. But the first part of the interaction, I'm honestly quite robotic and at times slightly aggressive too for some reason. I think there are a couple approaches where I somehow felt genuine and playful up front, but it's very inconsistent and probably 1/15-20 approaches. Being able to get this to become
all of my approaches will help me a lot.