colgate - FINALLY!!! i get my first daygame lay!!! after 3 years!!!

[colgate / bulldog]

Thanks for the detailed reply Pluto.

I guess I've been a bit of an enigma on the forums, mainly because I tend to dislike posting "I plan on doing x" in detail, so that leads to many assumptions about what I'm doing. Additionally, since I've stated "i've not been doing much other than going to gym", I haven't posted much of what's going on in my head. I'll clarify some things.

The one thing I recommend you do before you even go out (daygame or nightgame) is pay close attention to what you are putting into your mind. I used to listen to intense music which gave me dark thoughts before I went out and that made me give off a bad vibe.

I listen to weeby anime/idol japanese pop and dance music so no problem there lol.

I think it would benefit you if you didn't focus as much on volume. Guys brag about doing 30+ approaches in a day or night or approaching every single day but that its not that great for your game long-term. I used to do high volume as well, especially with nightgame, and what I realized is that while it helped me get over approach anxiety, it didn't help me develop much past that. My social awareness sucked because I was just spam approaching and not paying attention to the situation at hand.

You are 100% right. That's why I've stopped focusing on high-volume approach for now. It's something good to focus as an extreme beginner and at an advanced stage when you're actually getting some results. But if you are uncalibrated and "weird" like I am, then the cost/benefit ratio is terrible. That's why I moved back to Nashville and exiled myself to a year of self-improvement, which includes going to social events and learning how to be "normal" (some guys reading my log might think this is unnecessary, but anyone who has met me irl will probably know what I'm talking about).

In fact, even though I do less than 10 approaches, it gives me a great chance later on to evaluate each approach I do, see what I could have done better, and incorporate that the next time I go out. It's gone from daygame being a necessary evil to me to something I have fun with now!

Being more analytical in general would help me as well. I have the weakness of underanalyzing things and repeatedly/blindly doing the same wrong things over and over.

OP, I recommend Improv instead of getting a retail job. You already have a job and most retail/hospitality jobs are miserable as hell (I've been in one before). Do Improv at a group near you, they will teach you all about interacting with people.

I have some plans for social skills improvement and will try to post about that now. I've actually had fast food and retail jobs before and didn't find them particularly "miserable". I agree with you that improv is even better, it's probably one of the most intimidating social things one could do. But I would need much more social awareness to effectively do improv I think.

Right there with you bro. I want to quit my job too and I have enough to get me by for the rest of the year but seriously think this through man. Like for example, I know that if I am unemployed, I'll have to find a way to get decent enough health insurance in the case something happens to me. With a recession looming, I doubt the job market is going to be hot for long with a lot of big companies laying people off left and right.

That's why this is such a great "bet". I purposely made this deal because the risks are very high. It's not a safe bet. But the biggest gains are from the biggest gambles.

 

[Pluto]

You do not need to be a pro to do improv, its meant for people who are new. I think you are thinking standup but Improv is tailor made to welcome people who have never done it. Although I did look at Improv classes in Nashville for you and ugh, barely as many as I would have thought, looks like I was wrong about Nashville becoming more artsy. Seems like Nashville is still the typical southern city at heart, ugh, typical deep south (lol I grew up there).

I think what will help you a ton socially is being somewhat into whatever is cool in your city. When I was in NYC, I was very into theater and acting which is huge there. In Miami, I am getting more into MMA since it is massive down here. Being in Nashville, find some of the things that are big in the city and see if any of them seem interesting to you at all. That alone will help you make more friends or at least be relatable to people.

It is great that you listen to Japanese pop and more positive stuff but I would say that if you are going out in Nashville, kind of make what you listen to match if you are going to do music. I'd recommend starting off with comedy or something funny but with music, I have found that it works best when I listen to the types of music they will play at a venue. It makes me more congruent with the vibe.

I myself prefer rock music but Miami is more of a Latino/Reggaeton city so if I listen to any music before going out, it's that so I am more congruent with the vibe of the place I am going to. In my off time like working out, I listen to whatever I want lol.

As for the game advice, what has helped me get tangible results this year has been:

1. Finding a couple of good resources and following them religiously. For me those are AG Hayden and Todd Valentine. I highly recommend Todd for guys like you who are introverts as it would seem. Do not do more than 2 because thats info overload and you will lack focus, just find 2 good dating coaches and stick with their advice.

2. Before I go out, kind of write down three things I hope to accomplish that I know I have full control over. For me so far its been: don't get bitter over a rejection, try to have a set that goes for longer than 2 minutes, and work on sticking point X (ask less questions and make more assumptions or try to sexualize the conversation).

3. Go out with those 3 things in mind, no matter how many approaches I do.

4. Reflect back on how I did on those 3 things specifically and where exactly I am running into setbacks.

5. Work on specific setback/sticking point when I go out the following night or in the next daygame session.

 

[colgate / bulldog]

First of all, sorry I've not been posting much on the forums. I'm in multiple group chats, plus I live with two guys who are also doing/have done lots of self-improvement so this ends up being the last place I update anything. Makes it feel like I can only put "big" updates here, or ones specifically related to dating (even though that's not true).

I have some stories/insights etc blah blah I'll write those as they come along, but I owe you guys this one lol.

Mimbe393939 and I had been holding each other accountable for nofap (me) and noporn (him) for the past week or so. But this time it was way harder because I've been shooting myself up with roids and my sex drive has basically skyrocketed. I have had the urge to jerk off like 1-3x a day everyday for weeks now, which was unusual for me (even when I was actively approaching 100-200 girls a week in California, it wasn't as high).

Unlike the last time I did nofap, it was extremely difficult. At that point, I would just go out and approach any time I had the urge to jerk off, and I had like a 59 day streak or something. On the other hand, now that I haven't been regularly approaching at all, I failed twice in around a day, because I have had nothing to channel that energy into.

Failing once is okay, maybe that's a fluke. But failing twice means I have to change something.

Last Friday, Troy and lacroix had gone out to do some nightgame. I decided to stay back initially and was taking a shower. Was literally schizzing out at not being able to jerk off and come. I didn't want to disappoint Mimbe again, so I went out to approach instead.

I couldn't talk to a single person after taking a few laps. My usual excuses of "I'm not into these types of girls" blah blah came up (even though there were definitely 5 girls I could have opened). I sat down and wrote this on my phone in the moment:
View attachment 2


Anyway, I went home and ran into Troy and lacroix in the hallway walking back with 2 girls. I passed by and chilled on the couch for a bit and observed them hanging out with the girls near the pool. Eventually the girls left and they came back to the apartment.

We were just discussing the pull for a while, it was the first time they went out together and pulled 2 girls and our apartment is a trash heap, and we didn't have a plan for handling multiple girls, not to mention we ran out of drinks. So that was basically a dud. During this conversation, we got into the topic of "difficult" conversions and unenthusiastic girls, and lacroix has run into those before. I realized I hardly get any pull opportunities as is, and I would like to not have the girl starfish or something the first time I get that far, and it's about time I actually gain some experience.

So I hired an escort.

Troy and some others had suggested escorts to me since November but I hummed and hawed at it for months. Eventually the only thing stopping me was "I'm too nervous and intimidated to do this", as in I would be way too nervous around the escort.

But the transient negative emotions I had from walking around outside an hour prior made me finally pull the trigger. It's like okay, do you really want to get laid or what. And that was the only reason I had gone out at night anyway.

Not to mention I was basically annoyed thinking about going through and messaging girls on dating apps (which still feels like chewing glass to me, a rejection online can take days while on cold approach the same interaction would happen over 2 minutes), fishing for their numbers, setting up the dates, only to deal with a girl who's not even actually interested in meeting me, or doesn't want to do anything if I pull, etc. Of course, that scenario will be inevitable and something to deal with, but I just wanted to get laid first!!!!!!!!

more thoughts i don't feel like writing up in this report but i feel like i should post haha
View attachment 1


my experience with this escort was LITERALLY top 5 most nerve-wracking moments of my life, you can read about it here: https://killyourinnerloser.com/forums/viewtopic.php?p=36390#p36390

Takeaways
The actual experience was like 20% pleasure, and 80% stress haha

But I'm really glad I did this because it's a step in making sex more normalized, so I can focus better on the actual part of dating (online and approach) without being as hyper-needy for sex since it's not this totally unknown fantasy to me anymore.

I'm probably not going to do nofap. The only reason I was doing it in the first place is because back in California when I was still natural and had a more natural increase in sex drive from approaching, jerking off made me lose motivation to go out and approach and made me pretty lazy. But it pretty much rapidly replenishes now thanks to the testosterone. Also I think being so pent up with the desire to get off made me overly aggressive and combined with zero calibration, I was mostly insanely jilted and way too fast when trying to escalate with girls. You can read my previous logs such as this instadate pull in Chicago.

I'm pretty sure I come quickly because usually when I've jerked off it was out of stress or boredom and I literally jerked off AFAP (as fast as possible) just to get it over with it so I can move on with my life. I remember doing this when I was back in college if I was distracted by being horny but needed to study, and since I was also actively suppressing my sexuality back then, I would literally just try to climax as fast as possible to get it over with. So now I have to undo that lol.

I've had a fleshlight for a few months and used it sometimes, so I'm probably going to use it every few days now regularly and try edging->climaxing so I'm not just hyper desperate and horny to get off, especially since my sex drive bounces back very quickly now.

I was talking with arcade_fireee, and he had mentioned that if you have little to no sex, the psychological excitement factor is way too high. With my experience, the first like 10-15 minutes was a total blur and felt like 2 minutes (I only was aware it was 15 mins because there was an alarm clock). But just knowing what sex is like means I have that reference experience in my head now which should prove to be valuable.

And september has said that girls actually find it hot if you come quickly and acknowledge "it was because you were so hot", since they find it extremely validating. So if something like that happens again, I'll know how to play it off.

 

[colgate / bulldog]

Just a quick update, nothing too important but logging for accountability.

I've set up an appointment to get LASIK or SMILE on June 27th (depending on which surgery they deem more compatible). I've worn glasses since I was 7 years old and can't function at all without them. And with the whole "first time I ever had sex, my contacts fell out" thing, I guess it was about time.

So, I'm going to start with this: I need to go to boxing 10 times in the month of June, or else I will quit my job.

I have decided I will go 7 times instead of 10. I don't want to sound like I'm copping out so here's why:
- I've gone June 1st, 6th, and 9th. That's twice a week so far, and that's how much Troy has recommended me to go. I also don't want to sacrifice weight training for boxing (I go weight training 4x a week and boxing 2x, and have a day of rest).
- If I go twice a week for the rest of the month until the 27th it should be 7 times. I'm pretty sure I won't be able to go boxing or do much for that week since I'll be recovering from the surgery but we'll see.

 

[Self Improver]

MOUSE TO MOTHER FUCKIN BULLLDOGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

 

[colgate / bulldog]

Had another escort date tonight.

Since I wasn't 100% new, I go a lot slower with the escalation and it wasn't totally instant.

details: https://killyourinnerloser.com/forums/viewtopic.php?p=37512#p37512

I've had my fill of escorts now. It was good to have those experiences, but something's missing when you didn't approach a bunch of girls, get neurotic about all the girls in your contact list not responding, finally get a girl to confirm on a date, actually show up for the date, and then go from there.

 

[Self Improver]

My man going MOUSE TO BULLDOG on these chicks

And some online dating success to come soon too!!!!!!!

You've done the practice runs with escorts

Now it comes FOR REAL

MAC

 

[colgate / bulldog]

Boxing
As I said previously, I would commit to going to boxing 7 times over the month of June. (initially was 10, but changed to 7 midway in when I scheduled my eye surgery appointment)

View attachment 7
View attachment 6View attachment 5View attachment 4View attachment 1View attachment 3View attachment 2


Throughout May and at the beginning of June I was constantly feeling "why did I even move back to Nashville, I don't even like white girls, there's no asians" and wished I could just eject to Japan. By all means, that's a future goal of mine, but I have unfinished business in America. And being forced to get good at dating in America will allow me to go to Japan with the mindset that I can get girls no problem, versus if I went now, whether it's "easier" or not (that isn't even the reason I would go there anyway), it wouldn't solve my girl problems and feel like an escape.

The reason I took up boxing is because one major insecurity I have is that I would get my ass handed to me if I were to ever be in a fight. Not to mention I have a lot of repressed anger with no real outlet. At first, I just went to the group classes but that felt like glorified cardio. Switched to paying $100/week for private lessons and my entire outlook on life moved up a notch. I walked out of session 5/7 feeling like I have a purpose here in this country. That's because the teacher was actually fixing my technique, then showering me in praise when I got it right, and then we did a bunch of mittwork which was cathartic. Certainly better than terrorizing girls at the mall like I was back in February.

Also, more importantly, Troy said to do it. I'm literally living with one of the most successful guys in dating so I'm going to do what he says and stfu.

SMILE (not lasik lol)
Technically I got the SMILE operation, not LASIK. The end result is the same, it's just the cornea incision is much smaller than LASIK so there's no potential flap complications.

I actually dropped close to $10,000 on this, which means it's the single biggest purchase I've made in my life. In that moment, I felt like a fucking G. I just nonchalantly handed over 5 digits of cash in a matter of seconds to change my life forever.




More exciting things to come on this log, but as per standard I will refrain from divulging much until I actually get it done ; )

 

[PinchePendejo]

Good shit on the surgery and boxing. I started boxing when I was 18 and did it religiously for 5-6 years. Glad you’re enjoying it.

 

[Now]

Shieet dude, lasik's been on my deeply closeted list of goals and you're out here doing it. Props man.
Good that boxing's serving as an anger outlet too, those posts you wrote a couple months back were wild.

That anime titty whatsapp background tho. Lol.

 

[Mimbe393939]

I actually dropped close to $10,000 on this, which means it's the single biggest purchase I've made in my life. In that moment, I felt like a fucking G. I just nonchalantly handed over 5 digits of cash in a matter of seconds to change my life forever.
Screenshot_20220628-040617.jpg



More exciting things to come on this log, but as per standard I will refrain from divulging much until I actually get it done ; )

It's nice to see how genuinely happy this had made you is huge that picture says it all. Glad you don't have to wear that garbage and can actually see!

 

[colgate / bulldog]

omfg i promise i didn’t make this story up it sounds freaking fake.

the longer i put off writing this, the more the memory fades away and it’s hardly been 24 hours so it’s now or never. took me like 8 hours to write this entire thing in between getting distracted and downed energy drinks because i had to post this before falling asleep.

making this a PHAT update with all of the side stories leading up to the main event


weenie mode
My gamecation group (guys I met in Phoenix and Iowa previously) had decided to meet in Nashville this past weekend. Honestly I was in zero mood to go out and do nightgame and generally have stayed away from doing any dating related things for the most part (although, I've been swiping on the apps recently).

Initially I was like, well I want to baby-step my way back into approach again. So I’ll look for a side-gig as a barback. The logic here was “let’s be around attractive people all the time like it’s normal”. Last Friday, I had set a goal to approach 8 bartenders to ask if they have openings, and did that on Friday night. But this was in lieu of doing any actual approach, and was generally kind of a lame endeavor for a gamecation. To make things worse, I weenied out on Saturday night and went to hang out with my friend at some more low key bars, but we just ended up going to his place and making music (i got pulled lol!!!!)

As I mentioned in my previous post, I got SMILE eye surgery on Monday, which has basically made me feel permanently 20% better. I even did an approach at my local grocery store because I wanted to. But I still was in no mood to actually resume approaching again.

On Wednesday, one friend from the gamecation group who decided to stay for the whole week messaged us that he was going to go out that night, who’s down. In total weenie-mode, I declined him initially with “well I actually kind of want to stay in tonight, there isn’t even any volume out”. Troy had a date and lacroix had some work to do. The gamecation friend (I’ll call him “M”) was not having any of this and sent a stern voice message “I didn’t come here to sit inside all day, I’m coming over to your place right now”. It jolted me and I responded that I’d go out with him.


ok let’s actually go out at night lol (the black girl duo)
We had just been hanging out on Broadway and in bars mainly talking about introspective shit. M seems to have strengths in all the things I’m weak at (enjoys keeping up social momentum and conversation with strangers, and general social calibration), and I seem to have the traits he’s weak at (being forward and steamrolling through girls’ objections and leading).

Anyway, we were walking up on the second floor of the outdoor mall area on Broadway and a black girl duo below us was taking a snap of us in from the distance. We comically posed for them, and then went downstairs to meet them. This proceeded to be the most hilarious and fun duo I’ve ever approached. One girl was super short and cute looks-wise, but acted fake bitchy and like she didn’t want to be out at all and claiming this is the second time she has ever been out over 3 years in Nashville (even though she was wearing a hyper slutty netted top and red tape over her nipples), while her friend who had the ass so phat u could rest a gatorade bottle on top of it was the ray of sunshine motherly friend who dragged the fake bitchy cute girl. Felt like I was talking with two anime characters, straight up. And in general, the more black girls I talk to, the more I like them.

M and I wanted to get some food and the girls agreed to come with us. But the nearby hot chicken place was closed. So then I just led us to a hot dog vendor, which was also closed. And then none of the bars in Printer’s Alley were serving food any longer. The girls were getting annoyed, but I basically ignored it and led us to this 24/7 pizza place. We ate pizza and basically just shot the shit for about an hour. The sunshine girl was bi and showing us girls she’s into. And in general the vibe was basically the tiny girl joke-complaining that she didn’t want to be out and she would rather be at home while the ray of sunshine was telling her to be outside more often.

Funniest moment was the tiny girl said “I like men…well I actually like penis” “so you like trans girls? like they look like a girl but then they have a penis.” “wtf?????????????????…..no…i like men”

We tried to pull the girls back to our place but they weren’t following us and wanted to go home so that went nowhere. But I was just amped up and thankful to M for dragging my ass out, because that black girl duo was probably the most fun I’ve had in a nightgame approach ever.


the canadian girls who SUCK at riding mechanical bulls
Feeling the momentum of the previous night, I went out with M again on Thursday night. We decided to try a thing where I open the girls because I’m good at pulling the trigger and he keeps the momentum going because he’s good at conversation. So we maybe opened 8-10 groups of girls this way and had some good interactions on the street.

There was one duo from Canada we approached inside a venue, but then bounced because we thought the set was stale. Later we found them walking around on the street so I reapproached them and they wanted to ride a mechanical bull. So I led us to this place with a mechanical bull and karaoke. M ditched the set while we were walking towards the venue, unbeknownst to me at the time that the girl he was talking to was repeatedly saying she had a boyfriend. So I was parading this Canadian duo to the mechanical bull place. We arrive, and they pay for the mechanical bull ride. First girl didn’t even last 3 seconds, and second girl lasted maybe 15 seconds. I was like WTF u suck, canada: 0 america: 1. But eventually the Canadian girls ejected to the bathroom. I rode the mechanical bull myself and then bounced from the venue to meet up with M again somewhere else.

…
!!! OK HERE IT IS !!!
…

meeting my “childhood friend”
Some other guys from the gamecation group had come out to Nashville on Thursday and M had met up with them. We 4 bounced to some other venue.

Did some dance floor approaches, and then I randomly decided to open this white chick “heyyyyyy!!!! I haven’t seen you in so long!!!!!! omfg!!!! what’s it been, like 10 years?????” she was like “huh???” at first but then got into the roleplay. She was genuinely acting like we hadn’t seen each other in forever, as if we were childhood friends. She was very touchy and extending the fantasy while we danced, asking me various questions about where I went and etc.,then she ended up asking for my snap. But then she ejected to the bathroom, so I thought that approach was dead and bounced out of the venue to do some street approach.

But then she calls me on snapchat. I can’t hear shit though.
I message her to meet me outside the venue "idk where ur at???"
So I video call her on Snapchat
and she's with another random guy
But I deduce where she is from the background and find them
And she thanks the guy for “watching over her” and latches onto me. i’m like wow okay
Guy wants her snap anyway, so they exchange hahahahaha thats right i’m on the other side now


”instadate” and pull
I decide to go for a pull to my place with drinks, and we argue about it while walking a block away.
She’s basically like, nooo omg I want to go to more clubs and drink… and she refuses to go any farther and turns around
ok fine…

so I take us to this chill bar with live music immediately nearby and buy us gin and tonics, easy on the gin because im not about to make this chick hyper wasted (even tho we all know girls want to get so wasted they’re puking and etc)
chat for 10ish minutes, and she’s continuing and extending this “childhood friend” roleplay even more. like “oh u remember this teacher from middle school???” blah blah etc
she then talks about swing dancing, and how she can do it or whatever, so i just get up and lead her to dance floor
we dance in front of everyone but i fucking suck. she is actually teaching me moves hahahaha

anyway, then we bounce out of venue
start arguing on street again over pull
she’s just scatterbrained like “i want food….i want to go to more clubs…..i want to meet my friends….omg im staying here”
like typical and obvious “i have no idea what i wanna do please lead me and make me do something” girl behavior
from her turning around immediately while we were walking up the block, i was like there is no way we are walking to my place.
i order uber on my phone, and it’s instantaneously ready because it’s broadway and uber drivers are poaching
led her towards the uber while placating her whining with "yes i have snacks at my place we can eat there”

we get in the uber and she starts talking about how “omg did u hear about that uber driver who cut up the passenger???? omg that’s so scary”
i was just like wtf thats made up lol and put my arm over her and stroked her head and made small talk with the uber driver to change the subject

this is when i realized this is going to be my first nightgame cold approach pull ever. wtf???


wow my first nightgame pull ever??
we get to my place and she’s continuing to whine about wanting food
but she goes to the bathroom so i dim lights and chill on bed for a bit
she has me undo her skirt tho
uhhhh…this is probably on?

then i chill on bed some more and she turns on shower
and then she starts whining that there’s no hot water
i walk in the bathroom and she’s completely nude with her titties out
great slim body with aesthetically pleasing B cup titties and nipples, nice big ass
ok this is definitely going to be on
she was just being impatient, the water got hot within like 5 seconds of me checking it

anyway i go back to bed and wait for her to shower
then she walks into my room, hyper ditzy
and falls down and knocks over my nightstand
omgggggg don’t make fun of meeeee <3 <3

i pick her up and put her on the bed and sit down while she’s laying down
she’s like “omg…text my friends on my phone with the address and tell them im safe”
so i do that from her phone because for whatever reason she didnt want to
she starts whining about food again

i’m like “later”
and just immediately go for makeout
WELL NOW IT’S ON


the mouse to bulldog moment
make out, titty suck, nothing unusual. i have some reference experience from the escorts
start fingering her a bit, she’s definitely more moist than escorts but nothing crazy

tell her to get up on her knees doggy
i just stick it in no condom. lol!!!!!!!!!!!!

she actually was a little dry, so i ended up fetching some lube from the bathroom real quick
everything was good from there

fuck her slowly, quickly, etc doggy
i actually lasted like 20 minutes or so
S L A P P E D her ass repeatedly, leaving big red marks all over it

then when i was close to coming i pulled out and shot jets all over her back
started rubbing it all over her
omgggg what are u doing lol <3 <3 <3 don’t do thatttttt <3 <3 <3

handjob + makeout to get hard again, another trick i learned from escorts

and then we proceed to have the most retarded round 2 of all time

this time i flip her over and do her missionary
sucking her titties more, making out, french kissing, light biting
she’s grabbing my ass, lightly biting me

we’re making out. then she starts biting harder. AND HARDER.
i get even HARDER. my cock turned into a freaking diamond

but at some point i get annoyed with the biting
tell her “dinner’s over”
and chokeslam her into the bed to get her to stop
she then clamps my hands together harder over her neck
whimpering “choke me, choke me”

so now i’m thrusting hard in her while literally asphyxiating her to death (not literally!)
slapped her face a bunch too
and whenever i wasnt choking her or i didnt choke her hard enough
she would bite me hard af again
and i would get annoyed and chokeslam her again into the bed

this whole thing lasted like another ~90 minutes
i didn’t come after round 2, as expected
but she convulsed up into me at least two times, and would weirdly contort her body
so assuming thats how she was coming

she immediately knocked tf out and i tucked her in and i went to the bathroom




yooooooo wtf just happened




like a total autist, i messaged the story to my internet group chats
messaging for maybe an hour
at some point i was like ok im gonna cuddle this chick or something and fall asleep

but then i realized, wait holy shit, i have a hot naked girl in my bed right now
and i’ll likely never see her again
i can literally do anything i want to her
but my time is limited




was now like 7:00 am
lightly fooled with her titties again
reached down for her pussy

holy fuck she’s like soaking wet
like nothing like before
she didnt say anything, she just wanted me to find out for myself
i got instantly 100% hard again from fingering her slip n slide

turned her over so i could see her hot face and body
fucked her slowly and passionately
lots of time where i just thrust deep inside and stayed there
she CLAMPED onto my cock with her vagina muscles
i was like WTF this feels amazing
adding the additional baseline dynamic we had of me being bitten -> her being choked

i was like
u know what
i’m gonna EXPLODE inside
i don’t want to resist my biological desire anymore
years of repressing everything so society could put me where it wants to as some wimpy gayboy
FUCK THAT SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

if i have a baby
it’s time to hustle and get my ass into the $10 million/year net worth band
would be awesome to have so much money where i can e.g. just hand $4000 a month to the mom no problem
and i love kids and would be awesome to visit my kids
i can handle this shit
i have a fetish for making my life as difficult as possible
god nerfed my base stats because it would be game over for everyone else if i got it easy
like making the olympic sprinter start 5 seconds after the middle schoolers
thats what they did

i BUSTED it all inside her (second time i came)
but she was so wet that it all got blended in
couldnt tell the pussy juice from the seed
and i was still 100% hard. didnt even lose my boner. didnt even take it out
didnt even fuckin stop….it’s time for ROUND 4

the dance of her bites and my chokes
it’s call and response
the big moments where she curled up and suddenly arched her back up
biting on her own fingers
biting and sucking on mine
occasionally she whispered “slow….” “fast…”
beyond that very few verbals
just pure implicit communication for everything




haha literally this one lay costed me between $35,000-$40,000
i remember on a podcast andy talked about how he took out a freaking bank loan just to move to central melbourne to cold approach
You guys remember that I started in Chattanooga, Tennessee.
just some bullshit town in the south
FUCK that i paid double rent just to be in nashville, DESTROYED the freaking campus in 5 days and got kicked out
ejected off to austin and kept it cool there
spent 2 weeks back in my main house again tossing out everything from my old life and everything i owned fit in 2 backpacks and a suitcase
then went ballistic in california
came back here to nashville, got on the roids and boxing lessons, hired the escorts
$10k lasik’s like buying the groceries
by all means i could be sitting on “more cash”
if being out ~$40k is too scary for you, you deserve nothing. just live in mediocrity forever.
money is fake




she’s “sleeping” again and I’m autistically chatting with my groups. ok hello u have hot girl here in bed with u
she’s STILL soaking wet. after 4 rounds and coming at least 5 times. maybe more i dont even know
the fact that she was somehow still obviously wanting more
i got hyper hard again

ROUND 5!!! WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

this one was even slower than start of round 3
lots of just slow thrusting
staying in there
passionate kissing
light biting but less kinky shit
stroking her hair

then out of nowhere i just hit it at 200 bpm
she was covering her mouth with her hand
gripping her legs around my back tighter and tighter
scratching my back with her long SLUT nails
convulsing more and more

then back to slow
steady
loving
gentle

i oscillated between the two at random intervals
sometimes she came while i was going slow
sometimes she came while i was RAILING her like a machine gun
uh lol it’s like 8:50 am ahhhahahahhh we started this shit at like 2:30

i kissed her a little bit one more time and called it.


the end
i stopped fucking her around 9:00 am
she got into the shower and i stood outside and we chatted
had way thicker of a southern country accent now for some reason lol
said she’s a cheerleader in grad school
WTF?!?!?!?!?!!?
she came to nashville to go to some concert and meet up with friends later

also she said she was on birth control, but asked if she should take plan b
i was like lol do whatever u want
“did u come inside…”
“yeah”

she forgot phone charger and wallet so i ended up buying her a phone charger hahahh
chilled in my room cuddling and she was showing me what she studies in school
i showed her my nerdy af music lmaooo

then her friend called to pick her up
i walked her out
she ended with “well, it was nice catching up with you again ”
sticking with the childhood friend roleplay to the end LOL!!!!!!


tl;dr (but u read this whole thing and LIKED it…):
first non-escort lay was with southern belle college cheerleader from a nightgame instapull
was a week after i had the previous escort
we fucked HARD for 5 rounds over ~6 hours no condom
80% of the sex was her literally trying to tear off the flesh from my bones and me getting fucking annoyed and chokeslamming her into the bed
and then when i didnt choke her hard enough she would start chomping on my skin again, process repeats
i cataclysmically exploded in her, and she came like ~8 times.
i swear to god i didnt make this up lmaooooo

some pics: https://killyourinnerloser.com/forums/viewtopic.php?p=37954#p37954

Takeaways
Escorts
This entire thing would have NOT happened the way it did if I didn’t hire those two escorts.

I know it’s pretty controversial to hire escorts, but for someone with absolutely zero sexual experience, it really does de-fantasize and de-sensationalize sex.

This isn’t really about “losing your virginity” or “trying to get off”, it’s literally a form of training. I’d see it as a sandbox, or playground for real sex.

Because if you’ve never had sex before, you just have some weird abstract idea of what it actually is, and your mind hypes it up to be way more than it actually is.

Like finding an oasis with fresh, cool water in the desert. Compare that to some guy living in a house with running water.

Sex itself is really not that big of a deal, it’s great and all, but it’s just like food.

And when you’ve had the objective reference experience of performing sexual acts, even in an environment when you know it’s “simulated” and “fake”, it’s very easy to take that reference experience and springboard it into a real sexual encounter when it does arise.

I think the above elucidation about escorts is why I missed out at least 3 close calls to “weird and jilted escalation”. Because up until this girl, every time I pulled a girl, I was thinking OMG SEX!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and it short circuited my brain.

Girls could feel the vibe change and got immediately put off.

Whereas with this nightgame instapull, the moment we were driving in the Uber, I was literally just expecting that I was going to fuck this girl, in the same way when you go to a restaurant you expect to order food.

I didn’t do anything extra with her until she was just in my bed. I just patiently waited for her to get ready and do whatever without even schizzing out or thinking about it. We didn’t even make out or kiss on Broadway.

Sans the escorts, perhaps I would have pulled but then weirded out the girl, like I did at least 4-6 times previously.

I refrained from going into this much detail about escorts until I actually got an opportunity to get laid for real, and it was literally the next opportunity I had. I felt like the escorts fast forwarded my “sexual experience” by years.

Even Troy, who ended up hearing almost everything LOL!!!!! was like “I was honestly shocked, you sounded like you had been doing this for 2-3 years already in there. you just told her what to do like ‘bend over’ ‘get up’. and slapping her and shit”

I think it came off that way because I had zero fantasy expectations of what having sex was like, and could more focus on having the best experience possible and be maximally in control of everything

Nightgame
Clearly, I’ve been sleeping on nightgame on Broadway. This lay wasn’t from game/approach hustling. Was literally a result of my friend dragging me out to approach for 2 days.

This isn’t to downplay the other hustling I’ve been doing. I’m sure ROIDWYN is definitely an improvement over natural colgate too. And I gained a lot of experience with just being forward and steamrolling through interactions from being able to get girls on instadates from daygaming in California. So this is a culmination of everything I’ve been working on the whole time really. Specifically, combining good approach interaction and now with my newfound bedroom experience to replace whatever the fuck I was doing earlier.

I haven’t taken nightgame seriously yet because I had a hurdle that I wasn’t “cool” enough to really do it. And I kept making excuses like “I’m not even into white girls…”. But this lay was literally a slap in the face to wake me up. HELLO COLGATE ANYTHING IN THAT HEAD??? HERE’S OBJECTIVELY HOT WHITE CHICK WHO’S A CHEERLEADER. YOU CAN MAKE THIS SHIT HAPPEN.

So obviously I should be pivoting into hustling nightgame for real now. I’m literally in one of the best cities in the world to do nightgame and I’ve been knocked-out cold and unconscious about it.



ok thats it

 

[goldfish]

absolute beast

 

[King Approach]

Niiice. I'm ready to get on the Colgate program. How much is it for a bootcamp? lol

And I've been mulling over getting an escort myself. I've even set aside money for it and have looked into various sources. You've completely convinced me that this is something that is a must-do.

Also recently found out I have an astigmatism. Going to LASIK that shit and get on testosterone cypionate or whatever it is you are on... JK

But for real, congrats on the progress and hope things continue moving in a positive direction for you.

 

[colgate / bulldog]

And I've been mulling over getting an escort myself. I've even set aside money for it and have looked into various sources.

Yeah, I encourage anyone who literally has zero sexual experience to get escorts (and spend good money, like at least $500/hr). You're probably spending a lot of money on self-improvement, maybe online dating apps, etc, so how is this any different?

I also think you should get with at least two escorts. The first time will probably be totally terrible but it turns sex from "sparkly fantasy I've never gotten" to "oh whatever lol". and then with the second one, you can calibrate based on the experience you had with the first one and have a more "normal" experience.

Just the baseline awareness of "sex isn't really a big deal, I know what to do" reframes every interaction you have when you're out approaching. And if you've been banging your head at the wall trying to get laid for a while, it could be the missing link to actually getting there for real.

 

[King Approach]

Yeah, I encourage anyone who literally has zero sexual experience to get escorts (and spend good money, like at least $500/hr). You're probably spending a lot of money on self-improvement, maybe online dating apps, etc, so how is this any different?

I also think you should get with at least two escorts. The first time will probably be totally terrible but it turns sex from "sparkly fantasy I've never gotten" to "oh whatever lol". and then with the second one, you can calibrate based on the experience you had with the first one and have a more "normal" experience.

Just the baseline awareness of "sex isn't really a big deal, I know what to do" reframes every interaction you have when you're out approaching. And if you've been banging your head at the wall trying to get laid for a while, it could be the missing link to actually getting there for real.

Iiiinteresting. I think because I am a little bit older than you, and therefore have some bad habits more ingrained in me I may need more than two sessions , spaced out over a period of time. But I'll figure that out later.

Just curious, why do you think $500 is a baseline? I've seen some professional and clean looking Korean service providers near me that charge about $300. I've also seen some stuff go for like $150, but that seems shady and unsanitary.

But if $500 per session is what's required for me to get over my shit I'll gladly pay it.

I was hoping I would get more exp by being able to get girls back at my place, but that hasn't worked out.

 

[colgate / bulldog]

I was hoping I would get more exp by being able to get girls back at my place, but that hasn't worked out.

The skills you've already learned from approach are still valuable. I wouldn't have been able to get this cheerleader lay if i didn't already know the basic principles of going from approach->pull from all the approaching I was doing.

Literally the missing link was deeply internalizing "lol sex isn't that big of a deal" (iow, you're overstimulated by even the idea of sex). And escorts allowed me to accomplish that.

 

[colgate / bulldog]

If my first (legit) lay was the most magical experience I'll have, this report is going to be the easiest experience I'll ever have.

here's the report on the first one again if you missed it: https://killyourinnerloser.com/forums/viewtopic.php?p=37953#p37953

I woke up at 7pm today thanks to you guys forcing me to write my cheerleader report and was eating a cheeseburger at a restaurant when I get a random Tinder match and the girl messages me "hiiii" first.

I've been using Tinder at the level of "I'm bored pooping on the toilet time to swipe" so this isn't the result of any current real hustle (equivalent of "guys I approached 5 girls this week!!"). But it's a time where I purely got lucky.

The girl wasn't hot or even my type. Was maybe 5'1" at ~150 lbs. But right now I honestly just want to put my cock into a lot of pussies and feast at the buffet. Plus my first lay was literally a hot southern belle cheerleader from a nightgame instapull, and this seems like it's literally being handed to me for free so why tf not.

So straight to the crib. Had an hour and a half until she was going to arrive and I was still washing my bedsheets from the cheerleader so I went to Walmart to buy a second set of bedding LOL!!!!!

Cleaned up my room, set vibe with my dope ass lights and some low volume chill music and waited around. Coincidentally, Troy had brought over a girl too and I heard them FUCKING!!!! too so it was some hype for this one.

She arrives pretty much on the dot and I bring her up. Personality was very sweet and feminine. Pour us shots of coconut rum and walk on balcony. Boring chat for 5 minutes and then I just go for makeout which she was obviously down for. Move us to the bedroom.

Did the colgate standard of makeout -> titty sucking -> fingering -> lube -> in. no condom of course!!!

Started fucking her missionary. Then light choking and gave her some hickeys. She was moaning the whole time basically.

Then I flipped her over doggy.

And S L A P P E D her ass

And then my bracelet cataclysmically exploded

Yeah, I slapped her ass so hard my bracelet disintegrated and the beads just flew everywhere. I was like omfg LOL!!!!!!

Anyway, some doggy fucking and then switched back to missionary.

She wasn't playing any games like the cheerleader was doing with the intense biting so I decided to escalate shit a bit myself.

Started choking her harder and spitting in her face, and she fuckin loved it. Interspersed that with some passionate making out and stroking her hair. Randomly slapping her across the face and then back to the passionately making out.

I did shit like that for around a whole hour. Then I decided to disengage and lay on my back with my hard cock up in the air. Said "ok go".

She sucked my cock for a bit, and then...

She proceeded to give the most amazing handjob of my life

holy fuck she was so good at giving handjobs
u know when u jack off but it's too intense so you lower the intensity?
yea well she was just jerking me off beyond that
i was screaming WHAT ON FUCKING EARTH HOLY SHIT
interspersed with some cock sucking to lull the feeling a bit
and then the handjob just comes and I'm like whoooOoooOOoOOOOOOOOaaaaaaa

She jerked me off so much that her forearm started cramping LOL!!! so we went back to sex

I smothered her face with my pillow so she not only couldn't see but was getting asphyxiated. Then was playing with her nipples while she had no idea what I was going to do next. Squeezing and biting and slapping them, etc.

Told her to clamp down on my cock but she said she couldn't. She was like "I'm sorry....... : (". So I choked her super hard and continued just fucking her.

At some point she was literally like "choke me out". I held a hard choke for idk how long but she liked that shit.

It had probably been 2 hours by now so I wanted her handjob again so I could finish off. Somehow it seems each time I have sex I just last longer and longer. As in escort 1 <1 min, escort 2 ~7 min, cheerleader ~20 mins, this chick ~2 hours.

So she goes to town on my cock and I'm fucking going crazy with pleasure from her blowhandjob combo.

And then I see her trying to use 2 hands to do the handjob. I'm like lol ok she's cramping again let's finish this off.

I started slowly jerking myself off while making out with her.

Then I got up and jetted all over her face.

She licked my cum off of her face, and then cleaned up.

Then we cuddled for a while. I was just thinking, damn so I'm getting laid now lol. Great.

so basically straight to crib, ~2 hours of sex, my bracelet cataclysmically explodes, and I'm pretty sure she came like a billion times (ok maybe more like 10), gave me some impossible handjob, and then i gave her a treat all over her face.

Got dressed and then just gave her a tour of my bougie ass apartment clubhouse and pool. Then she left.

 

[Holden]

I've said it a billion times, this shit comes in waves

You have a very stream-of-consciousness type of writing, it's interesting to read

 

[colgate / bulldog]

I actually wasn't even going to go out but M dragged me out once again. Why am I naturally such a weenie aaaaaaggghhhhh.

I don't want to just make this log "good" stories, and since I need to hustle with nightgame for real and show progress/improvements, I'll be logging my nightgame sessions.

Nightgame
~15 approaches over 2+ hours between Midtown and Broadway.

I have a good deal of approach anxiety since I'm waaaay out of practice. Could have definitely done 25+ in that time.

notable interactions
- skinny + fat girl duo. i comment on skinny girl looking like she never eats. fat girl, who's eating a freaking hot dog, gets mad and says "that's rude!!!!!!!" LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
- pink cowgirl hat duo, one with adidas strap/bag.
so ur getting married to adidas?
thats not funny...
oh ok yall dont know comedy i guess im gonna bounce (i start walking away)
omg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! no!!!!!!!!!!!! we know dave chappelle...etc, blah blah proceeds to explain to me for 2-3 mins about comedy

main sticking points
- Need to internalize that rejection is overwhelming majority of interactions, even at night. You're not entitled to "good interactions". I've already done this for daygame, so this will just be hustling to internalize it at night too. One kind of rejection I especially have trouble with is where the girl I'm talking to is super receptive, but the friends hate me for even existing. Rarely/never happens in daygame so I'm not as used to it.
- Keep defaulting to matter-of-fact interview mode platonic conversation. Excruciating for me, excruciating for the girl. Can't successfully escalate out of this and take rejection when she denies some sort of logistics change (bounce somewhere else, touching, moving to dance floor, etc etc).
- Too afraid to use the "childhood friend" roleplay because it "might get old". Need to also come up with more roleplay scenarios/openers.