Aug 4
0/6
Technically 8 approaches but I'm not counting 2 of them.
So basically today was me pulling myself out of low volume hell. (I've barely done any approaching the last 4 weeks)
Summary
Fast early session.
Then a brutal midsession.
I saw plenty of girls but no easy ones. Then I caught myself being a bitch and started forcing hard approaches. Then I started to feel better.
"Hard" approaches were three duos and then a silent crowd approach. I didn't count 2 of three duos as an approach in my countbcuz I didn't ask for the number (Which is dumb... Especially for me).
So 6 or 8 approaches altogether. Which might be not-bad for some people reading this. But I know I can do much much much better than that.
Lessons
The real lesson here is that your never really done with AA. It's a constant fight (that gets easier over time). But your never fully done with it it seems.
Maybe after 10,000 approaches I'll feel done with it.
The next approach you do earns you the one after. And the next approach you skip, makes you skip the approach after.
Toast and I were paying attention to situations we skip. And it seems like there's actually quite a bit of money left on the table when you start looking at every possible girl you could approach.
Happiness = Approaching
Approaching is integral to my happiness if seems. Like I dreaded going to work today. But as soon as I started approaching all was well with the world. I think I've formed an identity around it, and it's like an expression that needs to come out. I feel like something is "missing" when I'm not approaching.
Like I actually feel profound sense of something being wrong when j don't approach.
the focus for the next phase
I went to Vancouver to clear my head and write my goals down.
What became extremely apparent is that I'm not willing to forgo approaching even if it's just for a period of time in order to go to Korea.
My main goal is be living a life where I can be doing 300 to 400+ approaches a week. Thats almost certainly not feasible in Calgary. But the city I do it in doesn't matter. So long as I'm doing it.
Going to Seoul is just a really cool objective. Aim for the moon and land amongst the stars sort of thing.
Understanding how I can move to Korea is my #1 goal right now.
Once I have a well informed strategy on how to do it then I'll just execute it.