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Rottweilers' Log

pancakemouse said:
Instagram is a magnifying glass.

Attractive lifestyle x Instagram = ++
Unattractive lifestyle x Instagram = --

Perhaps I don't completely understand the culture of the Philippines, but I'd say you should be pretty confident you're able to accurately portray an attractive lifestyle/image before even spending mental energy into thinking about it. Sidenote: many guys think they know what an attractive image is, but there are many layers to it.

At least in the US, you basically need something similar to this to make the magnifying glass work for you: https://www.instagram.com/alex.marshh/
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Thanks, Man! Honestly pancakemouse, I don't even know what our culture is. Like last year, I discovered that one-night-stands aren't exclusive to western countries only, I'm still learning what dating is.
 
pancakemouse said:
Instagram is a magnifying glass.

Attractive lifestyle x Instagram = ++
Unattractive lifestyle x Instagram = --
Click to expand...

Definitely agree with this, but I'd still recommend he do it, even if he still sucks, so he'd at least be exposed to what a good Instagram is. And over time, he'd be able to build on it. Better to start imperfect than not at all.
 
Brothers I have returned

Today, after 60 technical edits, I just sent my final-final-final manuscript to my instructor, God bless her. I don't know what to feel but I do know I'm tired and a little happy. So, I asked the girl I was with, the one who I approached while taking our driver's licenses, I asked her if she wanted to hang out sometime, She was unsure because she thought she was going to be out of town. so today her trip was canceled so we're going out today!

I'm kinda nervous, Hopefully, It will be okay

Raph
 
Lonely_Rottweiler said:
She was unsure because she thought she was going to be out of town. so today her trip was canceled so we're going out today!
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Let us know how it goes!
 
Brothers!

SIGMA_1234 said:
Let us know how it goes!
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I'm back from hanging out with a beautiful lady! Before the forums, I would've called it the best date ever, but reading the other guy's logs, hooking up left, right and center, made me feel inadequate. But you know, I'm still starting out. I shouldn't feel discouraged. I may not have gotten laid today,, but I did learn a lot of things today, and who knows,, maybe on a second or third date, I'll get somewhere.

We talked a lot, my highlight of the day was on the occasions when I made her smile and laugh, like when I said I looked like a k-pop idol only north Korean, and when she asked me "why did you approach me? I could've been a psycho" I immediately answered "hey! That makes two of us!". I also made paper cranes from the tissue napkins while waiting for her she told me that it's cute then I followed with " Thanks!, so are you!"

Then she brought up the topic on hooking up and she told me that she doesn't do that. I felt a little relieved and disappointed. relieved because I don't have to think of lines to get her on board with a one night stand and disappointed because I really thought it was possible to get on with her. But I told her that I did think of hooking up with her

I used one of Andy's advice "kiss me", I managed to slip that out saying "If I get drunk, it's okay if you leave me. just kiss me goodnight", She might have thought about it (?). our conversations turned to her friends and she has a LOT. like varsity basketball players and rich people in our city. I slowed down on the flirting seeing as, I couldn't escalate beyond pg-13 flirting

Before, I left I asked her if I was being creepy, but she told me "I can tell that you are a good person". She got on a taxi, we hugged and she was on her way to her friends. I felt bad because she was such a sweet girl and I felt like a creep trying to get in her pants, also she was chatting with the varsity basketball players while we we're hanging out, I don't have the right to feel bad, Maybe I'm just burnt out from my thesis or the fact that I'm a little sick today.

MakingAComeback said:
How is gym and dieting going?
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It's going surprisingly well!, I can see veins in my arms and some shape on my butt, Dieting is good but now that I'm done with my thesis I can have time to prepare my own meals for maximum muscle growth. I'm also considering creatine

MakingAComeback said:
Style updates?
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I'll need to buy more jackets or maybe some form fitting shirts. Also trying to rock an accessory but I just looked silly

Next week, I planned a wall climbing trip (all by my self though) to decorate my social media and to get a life

Raph
 
Brothers

I don't think I deserve to rant about being in self-improvement I three years and still can't speak to another person on a date, So to stop myself from dwelling on yesterday, I will instead use "fire up my ass" according to SIGMA_1234, (what does that mean? is that like a Charmander joke?), I feel shitty, Like the same way I felt in high school, Still, my goals are still possible this year

Raph
 
Lonely_Rottweiler said:
I will instead use "fire up my ass" according to @SIGMA_1234, (what does that mean? is that like a Charmander joke?),
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Uhhh not a Charmander joke, but for me it's the feeling of having a sense of urgency & a strong drive to keep moving forward, because the other option for me (regressing or stagnating) is worse than death. So this is the mindset I embody when I say "fire up my ass" in self-improvement/ anything I do.
 
Brothers

Today I was told that my thesis manuscript didn't make it in time and that I had to re-enroll the subject the next year, I can't cry in front of my family so forgive me if I use this forum to vent. Last week I told my family that I was graduating in architecture and that was the first time I felt that they were so proud of me, I don't know what to do.

The last time I felt this way was when my ex broke up with me and was replaced in just a week, I'm starting to think maybe everything she said was right. I tried to kill myself six times because of her, but I never went through with it because I still need to take care of my grandmother, but this feels different I feel like I let my whole family down. nothing in my life seems to work. every relationship I had failed, my friends all left, I failed my family and I failed architecture. A course that isn't even appreciated by my country.

I lost all my will to live today. I thought something finally went right in my life only to fail again. I complied with the 56 issues they had with my manuscript, and they sent more problems and I also complied with those, only to learn that I don't matter in the end because I failed either way. Everything I do feels like a failure

Like my last date, I must've made myself a fool in front of her, I can't relate to people my age because they're turned off by me. My friends left and never spoke to me again after high school, and I never made any friends in college, just guys borrowing paper or pens, and the people who seemed kind just tolerated me.

I don't have a backup plan or think of anything to be positive about right now, I can't even look at my phone because people are looking up to me for answers that I don't know. I can't kill myself because no one else in my family can carry my grandmother to bed, but my family doesn't deserve a failure like me. I wish I could've made them proud once
 
Hey man,

You mean that they won't even review your thesis because you gave your manuscript too late ?

I did read most of your log and can often relate to what you feel. Some days feel like life isn't bearable anymore, but please, PLEASE, don't sabotage yourself.

Shit happened and today you feel like you lost it all, but the hopelessness you feel won't last forever. You showed that you are willing to work hard to change your life and to reach your goals, so as long as you don't quit, you will eventually succeed.

I have no doubt that you will reach your goals, even if it will take more time than what you initially planned.
 
Oh okay that sucks hard, but are you sure you can't contact someone to help you in this situation ? They can't just ignore your work like that, can they ?
 
Lord Rey said:
Oh okay that sucks hard, but are you sure you can't contact someone to help you in this situation ? They can't just ignore your work like that, can they ?
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I just tried to appeal to the school, but It's just too much school politics going on. Hopefully, they'll give me a consideration. I can't even look at my grandmother properly without crying.

Today I spent my time learning some ring workouts with my normal workouts, to keep my mind off of school.
 
Lonely_Rottweiler said:
Brothers

Today I was told that my thesis manuscript didn't make it in time and that I had to re-enroll the subject the next year, I can't cry in front of my family so forgive me if I use this forum to vent. Last week I told my family that I was graduating in architecture and that was the first time I felt that they were so proud of me, I don't know what to do.

The last time I felt this way was when my ex broke up with me and was replaced in just a week, I'm starting to think maybe everything she said was right. I tried to kill myself six times because of her, but I never went through with it because I still need to take care of my grandmother, but this feels different I feel like I let my whole family down. nothing in my life seems to work. every relationship I had failed, my friends all left, I failed my family and I failed architecture. A course that isn't even appreciated by my country.

I lost all my will to live today. I thought something finally went right in my life only to fail again. I complied with the 56 issues they had with my manuscript, and they sent more problems and I also complied with those, only to learn that I don't matter in the end because I failed either way. Everything I do feels like a failure

Like my last date, I must've made myself a fool in front of her, I can't relate to people my age because they're turned off by me. My friends left and never spoke to me again after high school, and I never made any friends in college, just guys borrowing paper or pens, and the people who seemed kind just tolerated me.

I don't have a backup plan or think of anything to be positive about right now, I can't even look at my phone because people are looking up to me for answers that I don't know. I can't kill myself because no one else in my family can carry my grandmother to bed, but my family doesn't deserve a failure like me. I wish I could've made them proud once
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It's not that cut and dry.

Deadline: was this clearly communicated? You clearly worked diligently and completed the adjustments, corrections etc. You must press on and go through the academic appeals process.

Do you have a Student Union? Contact them, get in touch with the Advice Centre, and raise an enquiry about your situation.

Do you have a thesis supervisor who you can speak to? Make an appointment ASAP. Tell them you want to appeal this decision.

Apply for extenuating circumstances if you have to, have the deadline adjusted on mental health grounds or something.

There is always a way. In University I was going through my first bout of health problems and I had thesis submission extended. Which they did, no problem. There is an academic adjustment period which occurs after the summer in most Universities, where students can submit things if they have circumstances which mean they were impacted. You will need to start thinking about a story dude and weave this into your dialogue so you can broach the topic of extension.

Go down the route of an extension or extenuating circumstances. Contact your Student Union, your supervisor, any academic coaches. Get clarity on the appeal process and appeal the decision for your deadline.

There are solutions in life, you're just panicking which is very natural. Stay calm, take action, and explore possible solutions.

The rest, my dude, will fall into place.

Help me understand: Was the deadline clearly communicated? Did you have a concrete time and date it had to be submitted by? And did you legit submit it late?

The rest of your post, we can address.

I failed many times in my life dude due to a mixture of terrible life circumstances and also being very fucked up as a human being. No matter how much life grinds you into dust, and how fucked your head gets from the shit life throws at you, ultimately everything becomes fuel for the fire, for your transformation, for the epic, epic success that is possible through the pathway of self improvement.

You can come from the back, behind everyone, and catch them all through sheer grinding my man.

But that isn't the discussion for today.

Press on, keep seeking advice, and get some form of adjustment put in place so you can have your thesis graded. If you have to explain you've been experiencing poor mental health in this period, and you have to cite your suicidal ideation and the trauma you're working through (don't give details), so be it. You can get some form of adjustment put in place, there are ALWAYS arrangements Unis can make....

MAC
 
The deadline was discussed to be on May 27, I was given hope when they said we can still submit till 26, I submitted it on 26, and when I submitted my manuscript I was given 56 technical corrections, That I completed on 27 and a few more correction were sent to me two more days after I had completed my manuscript. They could've told me I failed then and there and don't bother with the corrections. But I was still able to complete them regardless

Even if there was some workaround that I graduated from my school, I will look like a spoiled kid. I'm ashamed to even look at my parents and instructors. I don't even know if I can appeal or if there are some organizations in my school to help my case. It's been messing with my head since yesterday. I always failed at the things that matter.
 
Lonely_Rottweiler said:
The deadline was discussed to be on May 27, I was given hope when they said we can still submit till 26, I submitted it on 26, and when I submitted my manuscript I was given 56 technical corrections, That I completed on 27 and a few more correction were sent to me two more days after I had completed my manuscript. They could've told me I failed then and there and don't bother with the corrections. But I was still able to complete them regardless

Even if there was some workaround that I graduated from my school, I will look like a spoiled kid. I'm ashamed to even look at my parents and instructors. I don't even know if I can appeal or if there are some organizations in my school to help my case. It's been messing with my head since yesterday. I always failed at the things that matter.
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You submitted on the 26th, and were given the option to perform corrections. You completed this and submitted on the 27th - yes?

They then supplied further corrections 2 days after your submission.

At the very least, your grade for the work submitted on the 27th should stand. Was this a passing grade?

Furthermore, there does appear to be some inconsistency here with your Uni providing corrections and then failing the work regardless. Wtf?

I would press forwards with an appeal of this decision dude. But first, what are the options here. Create a list please. I'll start:

A) Push for an appeal, maybe get the work passed, and graduate. Is this the best option?
B) Submit the work next year, so wait a year to graduate. Not ideal, but ultimately this does NOT matter in the long run. You can spend your time hardcore improving yourself, your social skills, dating skills, body, mind, get therapy, heal trauma, get work experience, sharpen your skillset, build your network. For long term success who you are and what is going on inside, your mindset and mental models, work ethic etc matter WAY MORE than piecemeal bullshit like dates of graduation. And a few years into your career no one even cares anymore man. It becomes more about your network and who you know.
C) Do nothing. Stagnate. Let your mental health plummet.

Again, what are the options here? Build a list, I want to see it.

Shame, things like this.

You are a man on a journey, you will make mistakes and you will grow a lot in your life. You are young and at the start of this process. In tough times, shame, our insecurities, all come out. The truth is, in the long run, these factors do not matter. You grow beyond them and achieve more, realise your vision more and more, and become something else.

In this moment, I understand it is tough, you are navigating a volatile moment of adverse outcome, and this is never easy.

Recognise that you must remain stoic in this time, see things logically, and act within your locus of control.

What are your options? Which will you take? Focus on your actions and what you can control.

Regarding looking like a spolied kid - nah, that's not how it works. No one cares. Only you. Your opinion and your sense of how much you love and value yourself is what matters. Put your middle finger up to everyone else. Humans, like all animals, are selfish and also very egoic - people play games and invent stories in their own mind to inflate themselves and diminish others. Fuck them, and fuck your own ego too. Your ego is trying to protect you and is worried about other people's views - understand ego will always keep you right where you are. Safe, not in the fire.

Yes, there are organisations and teams within your school which deal with Academic conduct, complaints, etc. There wil be a School Rep for your School. This is usually a student. Contact them ASAP. You have a personal tutor, a supervisor, etc? Contact them ASAP. Just speak to people, get signposted, find support, and act.

Also dude, it does seem like you pushed up close to this deadline because you have had a lot of shit to deal with - you remarked how trauma was weighing down upon you, things like that. This is very reasonable grounds for an extension dude. That is a serious matter and your school will recognise this.

You do not always fail at the things that matter, you're just human. And on a journey. And in a few years, you will be way more solid as a guy. At 24, I was not able to accomplish many things and was quite fucked up man. This journey will carve you into a success.

Failure is part of life. Rejection is part of life.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=45mMioJ5szc

"I failed time and time again in my life. And that is why I succeed"
-Micheal Jordan, the Greatest Of All Time

MAC
 
An appeal has been submitted to the school, and I have already contacted people who can help. I'm just scared, I don't know if they'll accept it.

MakingAComeback said:
I would press forwards with an appeal of this decision dude. But first, what are the options here. Create a list please. I'll start:

A) Push for an appeal, maybe get the work passed, and graduate. Is this the best option?
B) Submit the work next year, so wait a year to graduate. Not ideal, but ultimately this does NOT matter in the long run. You can spend your time hardcore improving yourself, your social skills, dating skills, body, mind, get therapy, heal trauma, get work experience, sharpen your skillset, build your network. For long term success who you are and what is going on inside, your mindset and mental models, work ethic etc matter WAY MORE than piecemeal bullshit like dates of graduation. And a few years into your career no one even cares anymore man. It becomes more about your network and who you know.
C) Do nothing. Stagnate. Let your mental health plummet.

Again, what are the options here? Build a list, I want to see it.
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D) Continue the appeal, whatever the decision is, the following must happen:
-Build a website where I can post my artwork and architectural renders
-Post once a day for 100 days
-Use it as my portfolio for apprenticeship
-Build it up so that I already have a name in the industry by the time I pass my board exams

E) The head of our department once said that my designs we're only good for video games:
-Create assets for video games using a 3d software
-Maybe create a game of my own

G) Grind and study hard enough to be a top notcher in our board exams

H)All options except C

Option C never crossed my mind

There's no point in giving up on something that I worked so hard on, Thank you MakingAComeback And Lord Rey, I have a lot of things to work on and this is just one of them. I have failed in a lot of things but at the same time, I learned a lot.
 
Yeah, that's the spirit ! :)

I'm glad to read that you're not giving up and that you're going to continue the fight no matter what !

I want to thank MakingAComeback too because I could never have written great posts like him to motivate people when they're feeling down. He's truly a godsend for these forums !
 
Build your case and be clear about it. I've read your log, you are dealing with A LOT of trauma man. You are definitely in a position where your Uni needs to consider your mental health needs and an adjustment on that basis. They have a duty of care for you as a student, and your circumstances are sufficient grounds for an adjustment.

You will need to explain how you are working with a therapist, are recovering from trauma, and how this period has been deeply challenging for your mental health, and how despite the work you are doing and your commitment to the thesis, your work has been impacted at this time and you will require additional support.

This is totally reasonable. And within your rights, IMO.

You will be scared, yes, that's natural. This is where you'll need to learn stoicism, which will be a life long practice for you.

Just take the best action, then focus on productive and stimulating mental imput as opposed to anxiously wiling the time away wondering what if.

You'll be OK dude.

MAC
 
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