Thebastard
New member
- Joined
- Jun 11, 2020
£30k profit from bitcoin? Wow. She is doing that futures derivatives trading presumably. Hope she uses stop losses 
Silver's Log - job interviews and fear.
- Thread starter Sin Silver
- Start date
Sin Silver
Member
- Joined
- Jun 30, 2020
I'm writing a yearly review today which I should have by tonight, but I'll drop you both an update on the FL girl and on Money bags so I don’t forget.
The FL girl, despite what I thought was going to be an easy second date, flaked on me completely when I tried to arrange a time. She got back in contact with me a month later saying that she was having mental health issues and wanted to make up for it by taking me to dinner. Still being a student at heart I can't say no to free food, so I went to meet her. I wasn't intending anything to come out to, but as it's a small community I live it, especially of the FL circle, everyone knows everyone, so it's good to maintain a reputation as a good person. On reflection, I don’t think there was much I could have done here.
As for Ms.Moneybags, despite being very talkative right up to our first date, she completely ghosted me when it came time to arrange our first date. I was disappointed when this happened, but I’ve come to realise that that on FB dating, about half my matches are with asian girls from the exact same area. On top of that, some of them also have the exact same words written in their bio, so on reflection, I’m reasonably certain she wasn’t real.
All and all, 2021 wasn’t a big year for dating for me. With Covid and lockdown lasting until May, I knew it wasn’t a I knew it wasn’t going to be a good year, So I’ve been spending my time elsewhere on other self-improvement areas that will make dating easier, and help me work towards my other life goals.
That being said, 2021 was a good year for my sex life, and when I’m able to finish writing my 2021 review, you will find out why.
The FL girl, despite what I thought was going to be an easy second date, flaked on me completely when I tried to arrange a time. She got back in contact with me a month later saying that she was having mental health issues and wanted to make up for it by taking me to dinner. Still being a student at heart I can't say no to free food, so I went to meet her. I wasn't intending anything to come out to, but as it's a small community I live it, especially of the FL circle, everyone knows everyone, so it's good to maintain a reputation as a good person. On reflection, I don’t think there was much I could have done here.
As for Ms.Moneybags, despite being very talkative right up to our first date, she completely ghosted me when it came time to arrange our first date. I was disappointed when this happened, but I’ve come to realise that that on FB dating, about half my matches are with asian girls from the exact same area. On top of that, some of them also have the exact same words written in their bio, so on reflection, I’m reasonably certain she wasn’t real.
All and all, 2021 wasn’t a big year for dating for me. With Covid and lockdown lasting until May, I knew it wasn’t a I knew it wasn’t going to be a good year, So I’ve been spending my time elsewhere on other self-improvement areas that will make dating easier, and help me work towards my other life goals.
That being said, 2021 was a good year for my sex life, and when I’m able to finish writing my 2021 review, you will find out why.
Sin Silver
Member
- Joined
- Jun 30, 2020
Silvers 2021 review!
I’ve concluded that I suck at reflective writing. I’m great at building routines and sticking to them in general but reflective writing is a hard one. I’m going to start by writing monthly reviews of what’s going here in my life, as a weekly/daily isn’t going have much interest to report on. To try and kick start this, I’m going to have a recap of 2021, then I’m going to discuss what my long-term goals are for 2022, followed goals for January 2022.
2021 review!
Just a bit of a recap of who I am and where I am. I live the remote parts of the UK over an hours away from the nearest city. I work as a scientist, and whilst I love my job, I still feel I have a lot of room to grow, and a lot of weaknesses I’d like to address. I am anxious however that regardless of how hard I work, I’ll never earn the amount of money that I could if I was jump this ship and look greener pastures elsewhere.
Before I started my current job, I moved in with my parents. This was a hard decision weighing paying minimal rent and living in a supportive household, vs the independence and sexual opportunities of having my own place. Thankfully, with hindsight I made the right choice as I would have never gotten the full benefits of having my own place during Covid. On top of that I know have a good £16k saved up over the last two and a half years now to start looking at buying a new place.
When it comes to dating, I consider myself definitely better than average with women, but living rurally, and with my parents, and in the middle of a global health pandemic has made my dating incredibly hard for me these last two years. I’ve prioritized dating the last two years so I can focus on areas which are more appropriate at the moment. I made some amazing achievements this year in the field of my sex life, that I should probably use to start this review with on a high note:
Sex Life:
I had my first threesome this year! I only slept with three different girls, but the last two I managed to sleep with both on separate occasions, and then once together, which is still mind blowing for me.
I started the year of dating a girl who lives about an hour and a half away from me, which is far from ideal, but I live rurally, and I always play the cards I am delt. She asked to break it off for personal reasons early March, and I wasn’t that hung up over it. She was great in many ways, but at heart I didn’t see a long-term relationship coming from it.
Now onto the highlight of this year, the threesome! I met both girls at a festival, and without going out my way to flirt or pull, I managed to sleep with the first one there and then at the fesitval, and get invited caravanning with the second.
I started seeing the first one regularly for a short whilst afterwards, and we formed an Dom/Sub relationship that I was very eager to explore. When I went caravanning with the Second, I was open and honest with her about my relationship with First. After a few drinks I showed her some of the videos of me and First that I had permission to share, and at that point the sexual tension was so think we couldn’t help but make out. We started sending pictures and videos of us having sex and making out to the first, who got really into them and started pushing us for more and sending videos of herself back.
About a month later, I was able to arrange a trip for me and the First to go stay the night at a posh hotel in the hometown of the Second. We went out for a couple of drinks with the Second, and after listening to two really hot girls talk about how great I am for an hour, me and First took Second back to our hotel.
I’m not going to go into the details of my first threesome (unless you REALLLY want to me to) but I can say without a doubt it has done wonders to change my perspective of myself and women. I didn’t rely on and strategy, pick up techniques, or 3D chess moves to get this to happen. All these events we’re reaffirming of my character, my honesty, my social skills, and my modesty.
Since then, I’ve had to break it off with First as she’s pursing a LTR with another guy. Our relationship whilst intense was purely BDSM, so whilst I’m disappointed there was not much I could have done.
I’m still on good terms with Second, but she lives with rather far away, so I’m unable to see her as much as I’d like.
2021 can be viewed as a quality over quantity year with the sex life
Fitness and health:
I really wanted to get back into dating at the start of 2021, but I knew it would be hard it would be hard with my current living situation and Covid. I decided to turn my attention to my health and physical appearance, knowing it be a huge step in improving my attractiveness. Starting in April, I cut my average daily calorie intake by around 400 Kcals, and started hitting the gym 4 to 3 times a week. In May, I measured in at 14stone, and at the beginning of October, I weighed in a t 12st 3.3lb, a total loss of 24.7 pounds. I didn’t even thin I had that much to loose, but I did, and I looked great!(See pictures at the bottom of this post)
I have since then been on the bulk. I’m back up to 13lb, but I am notably fitter and stronger in the mirror. My stomach and waist is remarkable thin, and my chest is notably large. I know where small sized T-shirts and shirts, and I look great in them.
Improving my personal best sat the gym has never been my main goal but here’s a brief record of how far I have come by picking apart some key exercises since I started to bulk.
October
Machine mid backrow 120lb x 8
Flat Dunbell press 22kg x 12
Leg press = 80kg x 15
In comparison, my latest reps have been.
Machine mid backrow 140lb x 8
Flat Dunbell press = 26kg x 12
Legs press = 110kg x 10
These are notable improvements across both my pull, push and legs sets, which I’m very happy with. My PT who set my work outs for me at the start is a body builder, so set most sets are in the 10 to 15 range, which makes it harder for me to compare my PB’s to most people who always quote in single lifts, not in reps of 15.
I’m not sure if this is fast or slow progress, but it is progress. I appreciate any feedback on how to best monitor this, and will continue to post monthly updates.
Career and work
One of the most notable changes at work this year is having a new line manager that I work a lot closer with. He has been acting as my mentor and coach, allowing me to discuss any problem or stupid question I may have. This has been fantastic, as it allows me to get constant feedback and I can have someone else monitor what I am doing. I’ve had comments saying that I come across as much more confident at work.
Whilst I am a scientist, I have come to realize that the biggest roadblock to my future career progression isn’t going to be my scientific or technical skills, but my leadership and professional. I’ve therefore taken courses on leadership and am reading plenty of books and other topics on it. I plan to start continue implementing more changes at work which I can monitor and control, and review them monthly. The plan being that I can make changes that will improve my leadership, productivity, and strategic thinking, track these changes, and reflect on them.
Conclusions
OH boy, I said I was going to talk about my long term and short term plans for 2022 at the start of this post, didn’t I! This draft is already nearing 1,500 words. So I’m going to end this here for now, in order to break up the writing process.
Me in April
View attachment 1
Me in October
I’ve concluded that I suck at reflective writing. I’m great at building routines and sticking to them in general but reflective writing is a hard one. I’m going to start by writing monthly reviews of what’s going here in my life, as a weekly/daily isn’t going have much interest to report on. To try and kick start this, I’m going to have a recap of 2021, then I’m going to discuss what my long-term goals are for 2022, followed goals for January 2022.
2021 review!
Just a bit of a recap of who I am and where I am. I live the remote parts of the UK over an hours away from the nearest city. I work as a scientist, and whilst I love my job, I still feel I have a lot of room to grow, and a lot of weaknesses I’d like to address. I am anxious however that regardless of how hard I work, I’ll never earn the amount of money that I could if I was jump this ship and look greener pastures elsewhere.
Before I started my current job, I moved in with my parents. This was a hard decision weighing paying minimal rent and living in a supportive household, vs the independence and sexual opportunities of having my own place. Thankfully, with hindsight I made the right choice as I would have never gotten the full benefits of having my own place during Covid. On top of that I know have a good £16k saved up over the last two and a half years now to start looking at buying a new place.
When it comes to dating, I consider myself definitely better than average with women, but living rurally, and with my parents, and in the middle of a global health pandemic has made my dating incredibly hard for me these last two years. I’ve prioritized dating the last two years so I can focus on areas which are more appropriate at the moment. I made some amazing achievements this year in the field of my sex life, that I should probably use to start this review with on a high note:
Sex Life:
I had my first threesome this year! I only slept with three different girls, but the last two I managed to sleep with both on separate occasions, and then once together, which is still mind blowing for me.
I started the year of dating a girl who lives about an hour and a half away from me, which is far from ideal, but I live rurally, and I always play the cards I am delt. She asked to break it off for personal reasons early March, and I wasn’t that hung up over it. She was great in many ways, but at heart I didn’t see a long-term relationship coming from it.
Now onto the highlight of this year, the threesome! I met both girls at a festival, and without going out my way to flirt or pull, I managed to sleep with the first one there and then at the fesitval, and get invited caravanning with the second.
I started seeing the first one regularly for a short whilst afterwards, and we formed an Dom/Sub relationship that I was very eager to explore. When I went caravanning with the Second, I was open and honest with her about my relationship with First. After a few drinks I showed her some of the videos of me and First that I had permission to share, and at that point the sexual tension was so think we couldn’t help but make out. We started sending pictures and videos of us having sex and making out to the first, who got really into them and started pushing us for more and sending videos of herself back.
About a month later, I was able to arrange a trip for me and the First to go stay the night at a posh hotel in the hometown of the Second. We went out for a couple of drinks with the Second, and after listening to two really hot girls talk about how great I am for an hour, me and First took Second back to our hotel.
I’m not going to go into the details of my first threesome (unless you REALLLY want to me to) but I can say without a doubt it has done wonders to change my perspective of myself and women. I didn’t rely on and strategy, pick up techniques, or 3D chess moves to get this to happen. All these events we’re reaffirming of my character, my honesty, my social skills, and my modesty.
Since then, I’ve had to break it off with First as she’s pursing a LTR with another guy. Our relationship whilst intense was purely BDSM, so whilst I’m disappointed there was not much I could have done.
I’m still on good terms with Second, but she lives with rather far away, so I’m unable to see her as much as I’d like.
2021 can be viewed as a quality over quantity year with the sex life
Fitness and health:
I really wanted to get back into dating at the start of 2021, but I knew it would be hard it would be hard with my current living situation and Covid. I decided to turn my attention to my health and physical appearance, knowing it be a huge step in improving my attractiveness. Starting in April, I cut my average daily calorie intake by around 400 Kcals, and started hitting the gym 4 to 3 times a week. In May, I measured in at 14stone, and at the beginning of October, I weighed in a t 12st 3.3lb, a total loss of 24.7 pounds. I didn’t even thin I had that much to loose, but I did, and I looked great!(See pictures at the bottom of this post)
I have since then been on the bulk. I’m back up to 13lb, but I am notably fitter and stronger in the mirror. My stomach and waist is remarkable thin, and my chest is notably large. I know where small sized T-shirts and shirts, and I look great in them.
Improving my personal best sat the gym has never been my main goal but here’s a brief record of how far I have come by picking apart some key exercises since I started to bulk.
October
Machine mid backrow 120lb x 8
Flat Dunbell press 22kg x 12
Leg press = 80kg x 15
In comparison, my latest reps have been.
Machine mid backrow 140lb x 8
Flat Dunbell press = 26kg x 12
Legs press = 110kg x 10
These are notable improvements across both my pull, push and legs sets, which I’m very happy with. My PT who set my work outs for me at the start is a body builder, so set most sets are in the 10 to 15 range, which makes it harder for me to compare my PB’s to most people who always quote in single lifts, not in reps of 15.
I’m not sure if this is fast or slow progress, but it is progress. I appreciate any feedback on how to best monitor this, and will continue to post monthly updates.
Career and work
One of the most notable changes at work this year is having a new line manager that I work a lot closer with. He has been acting as my mentor and coach, allowing me to discuss any problem or stupid question I may have. This has been fantastic, as it allows me to get constant feedback and I can have someone else monitor what I am doing. I’ve had comments saying that I come across as much more confident at work.
Whilst I am a scientist, I have come to realize that the biggest roadblock to my future career progression isn’t going to be my scientific or technical skills, but my leadership and professional. I’ve therefore taken courses on leadership and am reading plenty of books and other topics on it. I plan to start continue implementing more changes at work which I can monitor and control, and review them monthly. The plan being that I can make changes that will improve my leadership, productivity, and strategic thinking, track these changes, and reflect on them.
Conclusions
OH boy, I said I was going to talk about my long term and short term plans for 2022 at the start of this post, didn’t I! This draft is already nearing 1,500 words. So I’m going to end this here for now, in order to break up the writing process.
Me in April
View attachment 1
Me in October
Sin Silver
Member
- Joined
- Jun 30, 2020
So, my new goal is to make every second weekend of the month a review weekend. On it, I’ll setting out my plans for the month in terms of personal improvement and reviewing and reflecting on the previous month’s goals. With that sid, he is my plan for this month.
Work
I struggle a lot with paying attention and focus at work. My work is far from a high-pressure environment, so it’s easy to get distracted and get little done. Therefore, these will be the actions I will be taking to improve on that.
• Time management: I will break each working day into roughly four quarters. Two before lunch, and two after. The goal is to try and set extremely specific goals for each quarter. These will not be as simple as ‘I will work on x document, or y project’, but more specific to the point of ‘I will finish chapter n, in document x’. Having more tangible goals when I’m working will hopefully keep me on track.
• Cutting back on social media and reddit: I start work relatively focused, but when I hit sticking points, faces small challengers or get frustrated, I quickly find myself turning to social media and other websites for distraction.These two are by far the worst websites for my distraction. I keep finding ways to block them, only to later find ways around them. My solution to this is to keep a tally in my dairy every time I go on one of these websites. This tally will act as a reminder for every time I mess up.
Love and Dating
I really need to make a habit of dating more, otherwise nothing happens. I consider myself good with women these days, but it doesn’t matter if I don’t actually get myself in front of them. I live rurally, and just going out and finding attractive women isn’t easy. Therefore, here are my plans.
• Take a tone of pictures of myself: I need new pictures for the dating apps. I’ve improved my physical appearance a lot since I last updated a picture and need to get some new shots. When I’m dressed up nice for some upcoming social engagements, I’ll make sure to ask for some.
• Go to more social engagements. There are certain social meet ups for people on the Fetish scene about an hour away from me that run once a month. I am going to make a habit of attending these monthly, as they’re a great opportunity to speak to people.
Health and Fitness.
I’ve made wonderful progress since I started back in May, and I plan to keep continuing with it, therefore, my goals this month are.
• Continue going to the gym regularly: I go to the gym 4-6 times a week already. I basically go every day after work, or after breakfast at the weekends, assuming I haven’t been three times in a row, or have another engagement
Misc.
Here are a few other goals that I feel are going to be important:
• Pod cats: I found Andy’s inner winner show on spotify. My plan is to listen to it every day on my drive to and from work. I can do this without any major difficulty, I just need to get in the habit of it.
• Reading more: I plan to keep reading self help books in order to expand my mind and open myself up to new ideas. My goal this month will to read a book on mindfulness my friends mum lent me.
With that said, I'll be back here on the weekend of the 12th of Febuary for a recap, watch this space!
Work
I struggle a lot with paying attention and focus at work. My work is far from a high-pressure environment, so it’s easy to get distracted and get little done. Therefore, these will be the actions I will be taking to improve on that.
• Time management: I will break each working day into roughly four quarters. Two before lunch, and two after. The goal is to try and set extremely specific goals for each quarter. These will not be as simple as ‘I will work on x document, or y project’, but more specific to the point of ‘I will finish chapter n, in document x’. Having more tangible goals when I’m working will hopefully keep me on track.
• Cutting back on social media and reddit: I start work relatively focused, but when I hit sticking points, faces small challengers or get frustrated, I quickly find myself turning to social media and other websites for distraction.These two are by far the worst websites for my distraction. I keep finding ways to block them, only to later find ways around them. My solution to this is to keep a tally in my dairy every time I go on one of these websites. This tally will act as a reminder for every time I mess up.
Love and Dating
I really need to make a habit of dating more, otherwise nothing happens. I consider myself good with women these days, but it doesn’t matter if I don’t actually get myself in front of them. I live rurally, and just going out and finding attractive women isn’t easy. Therefore, here are my plans.
• Take a tone of pictures of myself: I need new pictures for the dating apps. I’ve improved my physical appearance a lot since I last updated a picture and need to get some new shots. When I’m dressed up nice for some upcoming social engagements, I’ll make sure to ask for some.
• Go to more social engagements. There are certain social meet ups for people on the Fetish scene about an hour away from me that run once a month. I am going to make a habit of attending these monthly, as they’re a great opportunity to speak to people.
Health and Fitness.
I’ve made wonderful progress since I started back in May, and I plan to keep continuing with it, therefore, my goals this month are.
• Continue going to the gym regularly: I go to the gym 4-6 times a week already. I basically go every day after work, or after breakfast at the weekends, assuming I haven’t been three times in a row, or have another engagement
Misc.
Here are a few other goals that I feel are going to be important:
• Pod cats: I found Andy’s inner winner show on spotify. My plan is to listen to it every day on my drive to and from work. I can do this without any major difficulty, I just need to get in the habit of it.
• Reading more: I plan to keep reading self help books in order to expand my mind and open myself up to new ideas. My goal this month will to read a book on mindfulness my friends mum lent me.
With that said, I'll be back here on the weekend of the 12th of Febuary for a recap, watch this space!
HomelessBob
Member
- Joined
- Dec 11, 2021
My dude! UKer of the same age here, consider me subscribed your progress seems amazing.
Couple of questions:
Any tips on fetlife? How is it vs the swipe apps? It's on my list to investigate at some point.
You live pretty remotely, do you travel out to meet dates or do they always travel to you? I don't drive so I'm wondering if I'm missing out by keeping my attention focussed on 10 miles around my place.
Couple of questions:
Any tips on fetlife? How is it vs the swipe apps? It's on my list to investigate at some point.
You live pretty remotely, do you travel out to meet dates or do they always travel to you? I don't drive so I'm wondering if I'm missing out by keeping my attention focussed on 10 miles around my place.
Sin Silver
Member
- Joined
- Jun 30, 2020
Britons unite! Following fellows Brits is always good as our advice/problems is always in the best context. I'm In Wales, where are you roughly?
I don't actually use FL for messageing people directly, I use it best for staying in conact with the various events and meets held across the UK.
I travel to them mostly. Where I live isn't the most exciting place, plus I live with my parents! Not ideal... but it's a critical financial decision.
I don't actually use FL for messageing people directly, I use it best for staying in conact with the various events and meets held across the UK.
I travel to them mostly. Where I live isn't the most exciting place, plus I live with my parents! Not ideal... but it's a critical financial decision.
HomelessBob
Member
- Joined
- Dec 11, 2021
Yea I hear you can save like crazy, If it works it works.
South of England for me, there's a few really densely populated cities and all different flavours too.
So do you attend some of the FL events and network there? I've heard of guys using it as a dating website but I've also heard that doesn't go down too well from others, so mixed things all around.
South of England for me, there's a few really densely populated cities and all different flavours too.
So do you attend some of the FL events and network there? I've heard of guys using it as a dating website but I've also heard that doesn't go down too well from others, so mixed things all around.
Spider Jerusalem
Member
- Joined
- Oct 11, 2021
Sin Silver
Fellow Brit here
Midlander over by Birmingham - thought I’d drop in and say hey 
Good to see a few of ya’ll on the forums!
Regards,
Spider 🕷
Fellow Brit here
Midlander over by Birmingham - thought I’d drop in and say hey Good to see a few of ya’ll on the forums!
Regards,
Spider 🕷
HomelessBob
Member
- Joined
- Dec 11, 2021
Colossus said:
Yea suspected as much. I even attended one of thier gatherings a number of years back, seemed more just like a social meeting group with a shared hobby. Not even a social circle dating thing just a hobby group. Nice bunch.
Sin Silver
Member
- Joined
- Jun 30, 2020
Good to hear form my fellow Brits!
Spider Jerusalem I did my PhD in Birmingham. Those four years were my first time living in a city and I loved it. Birmingham is such a fun and friendly city, at least the parts I lived in.
HomelessBob I also lived in Southampton for a few months. Really nice down there, but SO incredibly expensive. I'm living back up north at the moment.
I use FL right now mostly for organising and attending in person events. I live in a remote location without many people, especially people my age, so I really have to go the extra mile to go and see people if I want to be social.
Spider Jerusalem I did my PhD in Birmingham. Those four years were my first time living in a city and I loved it. Birmingham is such a fun and friendly city, at least the parts I lived in.
HomelessBob I also lived in Southampton for a few months. Really nice down there, but SO incredibly expensive. I'm living back up north at the moment.
I use FL right now mostly for organising and attending in person events. I live in a remote location without many people, especially people my age, so I really have to go the extra mile to go and see people if I want to be social.
Sin Silver
Member
- Joined
- Jun 30, 2020
Time for my promised monthly review. January has been hard emotionally. I’ve been feeling tired and stressed a lot the time, which has been really affecting my focus at work. I don’t know why, but I expect it’s the crap weather, and all this awful news about prices going up and living standards going down in the UK. Despite this, I’ve been maintaining some key habits with very little will power which have kept me moving towards my goals, and shows how effective and powerful habits are.
• I’m in bed and asleep by eleven, and the up by 6:40 during the working week.
• I still make protein rich scrambled egg for breakfast, rather than skipping and making toast.
• I’m still at work, organised and ready to go on time.
• I’m still going to the gym following my usually routine, even on days I REALLY don’t want to go. The worst
thing I do is keep my headphones on when I’m working out. I prefer to keep them off to keep me more focused and engaged, but they help maintain my mood when I’m feeling shit.
My PB’s at the gym are slowly getting better, and you will find a indetail break down in the next post. I kept them separate just to trim this already large post down.
Now for a reivew of the habits I was trying to improve on last year,
Time management:
I set myself the goal of giving myself specific goal each day at work, and I believe it’s working. Following this new habit, I’m finding my performance is strong in the morning but begins to faulter in the afternoon. For this month, I want to keep up this habit, but set the goal of reviewing my goals after lunch. I’ll see if this additional planning helps me stay focused.
Regarding social media, I still find myself jumping onto reddit and facebook whenever I find myself getting frustrated, or needing to take a pause in my work. Even if I delete the apps, I just open them through browser. Rather than try to fight this problem head on, I’ll attempt to use the improved goal setting mentioned earlier to keep me focused and motivated
Love and Dating
I have been asking people to take pictures of me when I’m out and about. It felt akward at first, but once I learnt to be honest with myself and ignore the shame, it’s really to just ask ‘Hey, I want some pictures for my sdating apps, do you mind taking some pics’. None of them have come out that well so far, but hopefully as I take more, I’ll be able to learn more and give people better direction.
I went out one big social public engagement this month, and also went to visit some friends in person as well, both events I really enjoyed. With Covid restrictions finally come down it looks like you can finally go to pubs and clubs and ‘mingle’ with strangers. This month, I’m setting myself the goal of going out by myself at least twice. I’m not sure what my goals will be beyond ‘have fun’, but we all have to start somewhere.
Gym:
So, whilst it felt like gains this month have been slow, this monthly recap shows I have made quite a bit a lot of progress! I’m seeing gains all across the board. I’ve his 3 x 15 reps on the squats, and gone up several weight categories in the push and pull exercises as well. The mentor has corrected some of my technique on the pull exercises, so I’ve had to jump down the weight category in some areas. This is rather frustrating, but it’s definitely the way forward. For this month I will keep up the same routine and track my progress.
All in all, this is really good, despite feeling like shit and not being bale to get of FB/reddit at work, this has been good progress. The weather’s looking better, I’ve tickets to some up coming social engagements, and the Sonic movies out in a month a half. Things are looking good.
• I’m in bed and asleep by eleven, and the up by 6:40 during the working week.
• I still make protein rich scrambled egg for breakfast, rather than skipping and making toast.
• I’m still at work, organised and ready to go on time.
• I’m still going to the gym following my usually routine, even on days I REALLY don’t want to go. The worst
thing I do is keep my headphones on when I’m working out. I prefer to keep them off to keep me more focused and engaged, but they help maintain my mood when I’m feeling shit.
My PB’s at the gym are slowly getting better, and you will find a indetail break down in the next post. I kept them separate just to trim this already large post down.
Now for a reivew of the habits I was trying to improve on last year,
Time management:
I set myself the goal of giving myself specific goal each day at work, and I believe it’s working. Following this new habit, I’m finding my performance is strong in the morning but begins to faulter in the afternoon. For this month, I want to keep up this habit, but set the goal of reviewing my goals after lunch. I’ll see if this additional planning helps me stay focused.
Regarding social media, I still find myself jumping onto reddit and facebook whenever I find myself getting frustrated, or needing to take a pause in my work. Even if I delete the apps, I just open them through browser. Rather than try to fight this problem head on, I’ll attempt to use the improved goal setting mentioned earlier to keep me focused and motivated
Love and Dating
I have been asking people to take pictures of me when I’m out and about. It felt akward at first, but once I learnt to be honest with myself and ignore the shame, it’s really to just ask ‘Hey, I want some pictures for my sdating apps, do you mind taking some pics’. None of them have come out that well so far, but hopefully as I take more, I’ll be able to learn more and give people better direction.
I went out one big social public engagement this month, and also went to visit some friends in person as well, both events I really enjoyed. With Covid restrictions finally come down it looks like you can finally go to pubs and clubs and ‘mingle’ with strangers. This month, I’m setting myself the goal of going out by myself at least twice. I’m not sure what my goals will be beyond ‘have fun’, but we all have to start somewhere.
Gym:
So, whilst it felt like gains this month have been slow, this monthly recap shows I have made quite a bit a lot of progress! I’m seeing gains all across the board. I’ve his 3 x 15 reps on the squats, and gone up several weight categories in the push and pull exercises as well. The mentor has corrected some of my technique on the pull exercises, so I’ve had to jump down the weight category in some areas. This is rather frustrating, but it’s definitely the way forward. For this month I will keep up the same routine and track my progress.
All in all, this is really good, despite feeling like shit and not being bale to get of FB/reddit at work, this has been good progress. The weather’s looking better, I’ve tickets to some up coming social engagements, and the Sonic movies out in a month a half. Things are looking good.
Sin Silver
Member
- Joined
- Jun 30, 2020
Also, Gym results...
Legs (11/Jan) > (08/Feb)
Leg Extensions
Hole 13 x 10 > Hole 13 x14
Hole 13 x 11 > Hole 13 x 12
Leg Press
110kg x 12 > 110kg x 15
110kg x 12 > 110kg x 15
110kg x 12 > 110kg x 15
Romanian Deadlift
80 kg x 12 > 80 kg x 15
80 kg x 12 > 80 kg x 10 (tech fell apart)
Lying leg curl
55kg x13 > 55kg x 14 (now extra slow)
55kg x 15 > 55kg x 11
Sitting Calf Raises
(Chance machines, so no comparable notes on this one)
Squats
70kg x 12 > 70kg x 15
70kg x 12 > 70kg x 15
70kg x 12 > 70kg x 15
Push (03/Jan) > (11/Feb)
Incline Dunbell press
22kg x 13 > 24kg x 15
22kg x 14 > 24kg x 11
Flat Dunbell press
26kg x 13 > 26kg x 15
26kg x 9 > 26kg x 13
Pec Deck
85kg x 15 > 90kg x 13
85kg x 10 > 90kg x 13
Seated shoulder press
16kg x 15 > 17kg x 15
16kg x 14 > 17kg x 13
Dunbell Side raises
8kg x 15 > 8kg x 15
8kg x 15 > 9kg x 12
8kg x 11 > 9kg x 10
Straight bar tricep extensions
120lb x 15 > 120lb x 15
130lb x 10 > 120lb x 15
130lb x 8 > 130lb x 11
Pull (08/Jan) > (02/Feb)
ISO High Row
50kg x 14 > 50kg x 8 (now extra slow following advisors advice)
50kg x 8 > 50kg x 8
Lower pulley seated row
Hl8 x 13 > Hl7 x 10
Hl8 x 12 > Hl8 x 12
Machine mid back row
150lb x 6 > 120lb x 8 (now extra slow)
150lb x 5 > 120lb x 8
150lb x 6 > 120lb x 8
Close grip pull down
60kg x 15 > 65kg x 15
60kg x 15 > 70kg x 15
EZ bar bicep curl
25kg x 12 > 25kg x 15
25kg x 12 > 25kg x 15
25kg x 10 > 25kg x 11
Dunbell hammer curls
12kg x 12 > 10kg x 15 (now done extra slow)
12kg x 10 > 10kg x 12
10kg x 12 > 10kg x 9
Legs (11/Jan) > (08/Feb)
Leg Extensions
Hole 13 x 10 > Hole 13 x14
Hole 13 x 11 > Hole 13 x 12
Leg Press
110kg x 12 > 110kg x 15
110kg x 12 > 110kg x 15
110kg x 12 > 110kg x 15
Romanian Deadlift
80 kg x 12 > 80 kg x 15
80 kg x 12 > 80 kg x 10 (tech fell apart)
Lying leg curl
55kg x13 > 55kg x 14 (now extra slow)
55kg x 15 > 55kg x 11
Sitting Calf Raises
(Chance machines, so no comparable notes on this one)
Squats
70kg x 12 > 70kg x 15
70kg x 12 > 70kg x 15
70kg x 12 > 70kg x 15
Push (03/Jan) > (11/Feb)
Incline Dunbell press
22kg x 13 > 24kg x 15
22kg x 14 > 24kg x 11
Flat Dunbell press
26kg x 13 > 26kg x 15
26kg x 9 > 26kg x 13
Pec Deck
85kg x 15 > 90kg x 13
85kg x 10 > 90kg x 13
Seated shoulder press
16kg x 15 > 17kg x 15
16kg x 14 > 17kg x 13
Dunbell Side raises
8kg x 15 > 8kg x 15
8kg x 15 > 9kg x 12
8kg x 11 > 9kg x 10
Straight bar tricep extensions
120lb x 15 > 120lb x 15
130lb x 10 > 120lb x 15
130lb x 8 > 130lb x 11
Pull (08/Jan) > (02/Feb)
ISO High Row
50kg x 14 > 50kg x 8 (now extra slow following advisors advice)
50kg x 8 > 50kg x 8
Lower pulley seated row
Hl8 x 13 > Hl7 x 10
Hl8 x 12 > Hl8 x 12
Machine mid back row
150lb x 6 > 120lb x 8 (now extra slow)
150lb x 5 > 120lb x 8
150lb x 6 > 120lb x 8
Close grip pull down
60kg x 15 > 65kg x 15
60kg x 15 > 70kg x 15
EZ bar bicep curl
25kg x 12 > 25kg x 15
25kg x 12 > 25kg x 15
25kg x 10 > 25kg x 11
Dunbell hammer curls
12kg x 12 > 10kg x 15 (now done extra slow)
12kg x 10 > 10kg x 12
10kg x 12 > 10kg x 9
HomelessBob
Member
- Joined
- Dec 11, 2021
Nice work man.
Regarding the afternoon dip, pretty normal when it comes to your circadian rhythm. High focus in the morning with a loss of focus and energy sometime early to late afternoon is expected for anyone with a decent sleep pattern.
Funnily enough evidence suggests it's a really good time for coming up with creative ideas because the brain is unfocussed, so it's easier to connect two ideas that a less tired brain would consider illogical,
Personally I use mid arvo time for super easy simple tasks or light idea generation. Or a kickass nap. Noice.
Do you hand your buddies a camera when you're out and about? Or just ask them to camera phone it?
Regarding the afternoon dip, pretty normal when it comes to your circadian rhythm. High focus in the morning with a loss of focus and energy sometime early to late afternoon is expected for anyone with a decent sleep pattern.
Funnily enough evidence suggests it's a really good time for coming up with creative ideas because the brain is unfocussed, so it's easier to connect two ideas that a less tired brain would consider illogical,
Personally I use mid arvo time for super easy simple tasks or light idea generation. Or a kickass nap. Noice.
Do you hand your buddies a camera when you're out and about? Or just ask them to camera phone it?
Sin Silver
Member
- Joined
- Jun 30, 2020
Time for the March review! Lets begin with my gym progress. I've been sticking to my work out and dietery routine for the last month, and continue to see progress. I've had to make some major corrections to my technique here and there, so I have back paddled on some weights.
The question is, do I keep bulking or start cutting soon? I have alot of festivals and events come August, so idealy, I want to be ripped by then. I'm currently 13 and a half stone, and I expect I have to get to the sub 12's in order to be abs ready. Thats 21 pounds I would need to shift to reach that weight, and that's atleast 20 to 15 weeks of cutting atleast,
(08/Feb) > (04/March)
Leg Extensions
Hole 13 x14 > 13 x 14
Leg Press
110kg x 15 > 120kg x 13
Romanian Deadlift
80 kg x 10 > 80 kg x 10 (new technique)
Lying leg curl
55kg x 15 > 55kg x 15
Sitting Calf Raises
60kg x 15 (New machine
Squats
70kg x 15 > 80kg x 12
(11/Feb) > (08/March)
Incline Dunbell press
24kg x 11 > 26kg x 11
Flat Dunbell press
26kg x 13 > 28kg x 12
Pec Deck
90kg x 13 > 90kg x 15
Seated shoulder press
17kg x 13 > 18kg x 11
Dunbell Side raises
9kg x 10 > 10kg x 11
Straight bar tricep extensions
130lb x 11 > 130lb x 15
(02/Feb) > (08/March)
ISO High Row
50kg x 8 > 50kg x 11
Lower pulley seated row
Hl8 x 12 > HL x 12
Machine mid back row
>120lb x 8 > 140kg > 6
Close grip pull down
70kg x 15 > 75kg x 10
EZ bar bicep curl
25kg x 13 > 25kg x 15
Dunbell hammer curls
10kg x 9 > 12.5kg x 10
The question is, do I keep bulking or start cutting soon? I have alot of festivals and events come August, so idealy, I want to be ripped by then. I'm currently 13 and a half stone, and I expect I have to get to the sub 12's in order to be abs ready. Thats 21 pounds I would need to shift to reach that weight, and that's atleast 20 to 15 weeks of cutting atleast,
(08/Feb) > (04/March)
Leg Extensions
Hole 13 x14 > 13 x 14
Leg Press
110kg x 15 > 120kg x 13
Romanian Deadlift
80 kg x 10 > 80 kg x 10 (new technique)
Lying leg curl
55kg x 15 > 55kg x 15
Sitting Calf Raises
60kg x 15 (New machine
Squats
70kg x 15 > 80kg x 12
(11/Feb) > (08/March)
Incline Dunbell press
24kg x 11 > 26kg x 11
Flat Dunbell press
26kg x 13 > 28kg x 12
Pec Deck
90kg x 13 > 90kg x 15
Seated shoulder press
17kg x 13 > 18kg x 11
Dunbell Side raises
9kg x 10 > 10kg x 11
Straight bar tricep extensions
130lb x 11 > 130lb x 15
(02/Feb) > (08/March)
ISO High Row
50kg x 8 > 50kg x 11
Lower pulley seated row
Hl8 x 12 > HL x 12
Machine mid back row
>120lb x 8 > 140kg > 6
Close grip pull down
70kg x 15 > 75kg x 10
EZ bar bicep curl
25kg x 13 > 25kg x 15
Dunbell hammer curls
10kg x 9 > 12.5kg x 10
Sin Silver
Member
- Joined
- Jun 30, 2020
So, I’m sat here writing my draft of this post in MS word, determined to keep in touch with the KYIL community.
I haven’t been in touch with the self-improvement process as of late in general, not just with KYIL. I don’t mean I haven’t been self-improving, I have still been making big progress at the gym, going out socialising, and saving money to buy my own first house, sticking to my original long term goals.
What I haven’t been doing is thinking about the process itself. I’ve been sticking to the self-improvement routine and plan, without really questioning it or challenging it. This have left me feeling a bit disengaged from the whole process, unmotivated and at a bit of a loss.
To attempt to rectify this in order to stay engaged with the improvement process, and the KYIL community , is to come and post here every Wednesday after work. Previously, I would post once a month, but I found that a hard habit to keep. By moving to every Wednesday after work, it becomes a habit that stacks with the ritual of coming home on a Wednesday, which from my experience will make this much easier to keep up with.
The purpose of these talks will be to track my progress on what I have been doing. I’ll post what’s on my mind, and what I have done recently relating to my goals and self-improvement. I won’t post my gym progress every week, but will post it every four weeks. There’s not quite development within a week to justify a measurement or reflection on how things are going.
Thing I am going to talk about.
• My main aims, goals and objectives in life, and how they drive and steer my self-improvement
• My gym progress, such as my improvements to my PB.
• MY social events that week.
• Any other self improvement activities I have undergone. Meditation, BDSM, habit changes.
I am going to call it hear for this post. I’ve been feeling myself stagnating writing this, but I plan to keep at it after I wrap up this post.
I haven’t been in touch with the self-improvement process as of late in general, not just with KYIL. I don’t mean I haven’t been self-improving, I have still been making big progress at the gym, going out socialising, and saving money to buy my own first house, sticking to my original long term goals.
What I haven’t been doing is thinking about the process itself. I’ve been sticking to the self-improvement routine and plan, without really questioning it or challenging it. This have left me feeling a bit disengaged from the whole process, unmotivated and at a bit of a loss.
To attempt to rectify this in order to stay engaged with the improvement process, and the KYIL community , is to come and post here every Wednesday after work. Previously, I would post once a month, but I found that a hard habit to keep. By moving to every Wednesday after work, it becomes a habit that stacks with the ritual of coming home on a Wednesday, which from my experience will make this much easier to keep up with.
The purpose of these talks will be to track my progress on what I have been doing. I’ll post what’s on my mind, and what I have done recently relating to my goals and self-improvement. I won’t post my gym progress every week, but will post it every four weeks. There’s not quite development within a week to justify a measurement or reflection on how things are going.
Thing I am going to talk about.
• My main aims, goals and objectives in life, and how they drive and steer my self-improvement
• My gym progress, such as my improvements to my PB.
• MY social events that week.
• Any other self improvement activities I have undergone. Meditation, BDSM, habit changes.
I am going to call it hear for this post. I’ve been feeling myself stagnating writing this, but I plan to keep at it after I wrap up this post.
Sin Silver
Member
- Joined
- Jun 30, 2020
So, to quote Sean Covey, I am going to ‘Begin with the end in mind’ and talk about personal leadership.
The idea of personal leadership is to ensure that what I do, my goals, targets and dreams, all align with my personal values. My personal values are those values that I hold most important to me. They inform me of my priorities, how I want to live my life, and the sort of person and character I want to be.
By defining my core values, I can ensure that my priorities and the decisions I make align with them. If I am going to be setting myself targets to work towards here at KYIL, it’s important to ensure that they stem from and align with my core values. This is to ensure that the goals I set are something meaningful to me, and set me on down the right path in life.
For example, I value freedom, stability and family, so setting the goal to save money to buy my own house in order to have financial independence, and a place where I can raise a family is extremely important to me. It would be more important to me than saving money to buy an expensive car or go on regular holidays, as that wouldn’t align with my core values
By using the principle of personal leadership, I plant to identify my values (Freedom, stability, family, etc) and from there, identify the long-term goals (buying a house, finding a partner.).
I won’t be discussing interim goals here, an interim goal being a goal between you and your ultimate goal. For example, if your ultimate goal is to find a partner, then you’re the interim goals might be of improving your outfits, loosing weights, whitening your teeth, working on your dating skills etc. Those interim goals are NOT the ultimate goal, they just steppingstones on your way to the ultimate goal.
All I want to discuss is what’s important to me, and what my ultimate goals are.
With what said, let’s begin discussing values.
Family
I care a lot about family. I am very close to my parents and siblings, and the loyalty and love is very important to me.
Integrity
I consider truth and honesty very important. Those who know me know I‘m someone to be trusted to tell the truth do and keep my promise and commitments. My self-image of integrity allows me to trust myself to stick to my promises to myself and others, and a lot of confidence stems from this.
Kindness
I can be faulted as not the most empathetic person, but I hate to see people and suffer and love to see those I care about smile. Those who know me know I only want to best for them. I enter every social engagement wanting the best for everyone involved, whether it’s a present conversation, or a steamy romance.
Adventure
I love exploring new places, new ideas new cultures and meeting new people. Expanding my horizons is one of the most enriching parts of life.
Strength
The world a dangerous, and challenging Having the ability to take hit in, allows you to turn a potential disaster into a minor convince. I can go to bed not worrying, because whatever life throws at me, I am ready to handle it.
And there we have it, Familiy, Integrity, Kindness, Adventure and Strength. These are the core values form which I will draw up some ultimate goals for myself;
Ultimate goals!
Home ownership.
Owning a home is important to my future stability, and prospects of raising a family. Renting a place cost an extortion amount of money, and unlike a mortgage, that’s money you won’t be seeing ever again.
Right now, I live with my parents. I lose a lot of independence by doing so, but it allows me to put away £400-500 a month into a saving account towards this goal. Once I have my own home I’ll have a place means having a place where I can bring girls, entertain guests, rest and when the time is right, settle down to raise kids.
Relationships and sex
When I was younger, I struggled to speak to people and make friends. I also seriously struggled having sex, and was really self-conscious about that. Thankfully, 15 years of self-improvement have gotten me to the stage where I feel confident meeting new people, and I’m quite confident in my sex life. Right now, I want to be focusing on long term relationships, and building more meaningful, deeper connections with people I know. This means not just investing time in people, but developing the skills and character required to stay connected and build proper relationships.
My career
I spend 35+ hours a week at work, and I want to ensure that time is spent meaningfully. I’m a scientist by trade, I blow stuff up with lasers, no joke. It’s a great job full of interesting challenges and puzzles to solve. I’ve recently joined a new team as well, which is showing me the importance of surrounding yourself with people who are as motivated and determined as you are.
Now these might seem bit vague, unspecific, or unactionable, but from them, I will derive my immediate actions. For example, to buy a house, I have to save money. To build a relationship, I must go out and speak to 5 girls a week etc. There are numerous actions that could lead to any of these goals, but they will be a topic for next week.
Now, whist I have thought about this for a whilst, I have just written this log entry in a single afternoon. It’s tempting to just save this draft, and come back another day, but I made a promise between me and myself to commitment to writing here every Wednesday so I will be leaving wrapping this up now. Resisting the urge to submit it later after more re-writes. I will be making a habit of coming back and reviewing my goals and values, as they will inevitably change as I grow and change and develop more self-awareness.
The idea of personal leadership is to ensure that what I do, my goals, targets and dreams, all align with my personal values. My personal values are those values that I hold most important to me. They inform me of my priorities, how I want to live my life, and the sort of person and character I want to be.
By defining my core values, I can ensure that my priorities and the decisions I make align with them. If I am going to be setting myself targets to work towards here at KYIL, it’s important to ensure that they stem from and align with my core values. This is to ensure that the goals I set are something meaningful to me, and set me on down the right path in life.
For example, I value freedom, stability and family, so setting the goal to save money to buy my own house in order to have financial independence, and a place where I can raise a family is extremely important to me. It would be more important to me than saving money to buy an expensive car or go on regular holidays, as that wouldn’t align with my core values
By using the principle of personal leadership, I plant to identify my values (Freedom, stability, family, etc) and from there, identify the long-term goals (buying a house, finding a partner.).
I won’t be discussing interim goals here, an interim goal being a goal between you and your ultimate goal. For example, if your ultimate goal is to find a partner, then you’re the interim goals might be of improving your outfits, loosing weights, whitening your teeth, working on your dating skills etc. Those interim goals are NOT the ultimate goal, they just steppingstones on your way to the ultimate goal.
All I want to discuss is what’s important to me, and what my ultimate goals are.
With what said, let’s begin discussing values.
Family
I care a lot about family. I am very close to my parents and siblings, and the loyalty and love is very important to me.
Integrity
I consider truth and honesty very important. Those who know me know I‘m someone to be trusted to tell the truth do and keep my promise and commitments. My self-image of integrity allows me to trust myself to stick to my promises to myself and others, and a lot of confidence stems from this.
Kindness
I can be faulted as not the most empathetic person, but I hate to see people and suffer and love to see those I care about smile. Those who know me know I only want to best for them. I enter every social engagement wanting the best for everyone involved, whether it’s a present conversation, or a steamy romance.
Adventure
I love exploring new places, new ideas new cultures and meeting new people. Expanding my horizons is one of the most enriching parts of life.
Strength
The world a dangerous, and challenging Having the ability to take hit in, allows you to turn a potential disaster into a minor convince. I can go to bed not worrying, because whatever life throws at me, I am ready to handle it.
And there we have it, Familiy, Integrity, Kindness, Adventure and Strength. These are the core values form which I will draw up some ultimate goals for myself;
Ultimate goals!
Home ownership.
Owning a home is important to my future stability, and prospects of raising a family. Renting a place cost an extortion amount of money, and unlike a mortgage, that’s money you won’t be seeing ever again.
Right now, I live with my parents. I lose a lot of independence by doing so, but it allows me to put away £400-500 a month into a saving account towards this goal. Once I have my own home I’ll have a place means having a place where I can bring girls, entertain guests, rest and when the time is right, settle down to raise kids.
Relationships and sex
When I was younger, I struggled to speak to people and make friends. I also seriously struggled having sex, and was really self-conscious about that. Thankfully, 15 years of self-improvement have gotten me to the stage where I feel confident meeting new people, and I’m quite confident in my sex life. Right now, I want to be focusing on long term relationships, and building more meaningful, deeper connections with people I know. This means not just investing time in people, but developing the skills and character required to stay connected and build proper relationships.
My career
I spend 35+ hours a week at work, and I want to ensure that time is spent meaningfully. I’m a scientist by trade, I blow stuff up with lasers, no joke. It’s a great job full of interesting challenges and puzzles to solve. I’ve recently joined a new team as well, which is showing me the importance of surrounding yourself with people who are as motivated and determined as you are.
Now these might seem bit vague, unspecific, or unactionable, but from them, I will derive my immediate actions. For example, to buy a house, I have to save money. To build a relationship, I must go out and speak to 5 girls a week etc. There are numerous actions that could lead to any of these goals, but they will be a topic for next week.
Now, whist I have thought about this for a whilst, I have just written this log entry in a single afternoon. It’s tempting to just save this draft, and come back another day, but I made a promise between me and myself to commitment to writing here every Wednesday so I will be leaving wrapping this up now. Resisting the urge to submit it later after more re-writes. I will be making a habit of coming back and reviewing my goals and values, as they will inevitably change as I grow and change and develop more self-awareness.
Sin Silver
Member
- Joined
- Jun 30, 2020
It’s been year since I started hitting the gym when lockdown lifted. It’s been an incredibly journey, so its worth having a look back at how far I’ve come.
This time last year my personal trainer got me focusing on burning fat first, so I spent the next 6 months on a calorie deficit. I was able to slowly build strength at the gym whilst doing so, and I shredded nearly 27 lb in 6 months. I was around 15% body fat at this point, and it was amazing how different I felt and looked. I had a lot more energy, and it felt empowering to have that level of control over my health and weight.
I realised I wasn’t going to loose much more without a serious effort, and with winter around the corner, I decided to go on the bulk and see how much I could gain. It was great being able to eat more food again, but I kept a lid on the junk food compared to how I was before the diet. I started to see much quicker gains in size and my power at the gym compared to when I was cutting.
I decide to go on a cut one month before a convention, just to see how it would feel, and man, did it hit me hard. I was hungry a lot of the time, my energy levels were a lot lower than they were during my previous cut, and my progress at the gym faulted. It was a great experiment to see if I had that level of control. As much as I enjoyed shedding the fat, I felt much better when I went back onto my previous diet right after.
My current plan is to stay on the bulk until the end of my next holiday on the June 5th, and then go on the cut again for summer. Based on what I did last year, I expect I’ll be able to lose 10lb just time for August , so I’ll be nice and lean for festival season. After that, it will be back on the bulk, until it’s time to cut back for summer again.
It’s amazing how big a part of my life style and identity fitness and going to the gym has now become. Going to the gym after work, or first thing in the morning on my days off has become something I really look forward to. Nothing can quite beat that post-work out glow, or that sense of purpose and satisfaction during reps. I don’t have a plan to compete in strength or body building yet, but we will see where I am next year. I’m incredibly excited to see where I go!
Here are some exciting numbers.
Starting weight -> Minimum weight
90.2kg -> 80.5kg
Total Weight loss
9.7kg
Current Weight
87.7kg
Total work outs this year
157
View attachment 3
My original starting weight in May 2021
The lowest body weight I reached around October 2021
View attachment 2
My current body weight, May 2022
View attachment 1
A graph of my weight loss.
This time last year my personal trainer got me focusing on burning fat first, so I spent the next 6 months on a calorie deficit. I was able to slowly build strength at the gym whilst doing so, and I shredded nearly 27 lb in 6 months. I was around 15% body fat at this point, and it was amazing how different I felt and looked. I had a lot more energy, and it felt empowering to have that level of control over my health and weight.
I realised I wasn’t going to loose much more without a serious effort, and with winter around the corner, I decided to go on the bulk and see how much I could gain. It was great being able to eat more food again, but I kept a lid on the junk food compared to how I was before the diet. I started to see much quicker gains in size and my power at the gym compared to when I was cutting.
I decide to go on a cut one month before a convention, just to see how it would feel, and man, did it hit me hard. I was hungry a lot of the time, my energy levels were a lot lower than they were during my previous cut, and my progress at the gym faulted. It was a great experiment to see if I had that level of control. As much as I enjoyed shedding the fat, I felt much better when I went back onto my previous diet right after.
My current plan is to stay on the bulk until the end of my next holiday on the June 5th, and then go on the cut again for summer. Based on what I did last year, I expect I’ll be able to lose 10lb just time for August , so I’ll be nice and lean for festival season. After that, it will be back on the bulk, until it’s time to cut back for summer again.
It’s amazing how big a part of my life style and identity fitness and going to the gym has now become. Going to the gym after work, or first thing in the morning on my days off has become something I really look forward to. Nothing can quite beat that post-work out glow, or that sense of purpose and satisfaction during reps. I don’t have a plan to compete in strength or body building yet, but we will see where I am next year. I’m incredibly excited to see where I go!
Here are some exciting numbers.
Starting weight -> Minimum weight
90.2kg -> 80.5kg
Total Weight loss
9.7kg
Current Weight
87.7kg
Total work outs this year
157
View attachment 3
My original starting weight in May 2021
The lowest body weight I reached around October 2021
View attachment 2
My current body weight, May 2022
View attachment 1
A graph of my weight loss.
Sin Silver
Member
- Joined
- Jun 30, 2020
I had a rather horrible experience this weekend. I’m trying to capture what happened in a piece of reflective writing whilst the feelings are still raw. I feel I could rewrite and add to this tomorrow, and as the aftermath unfolds, so I’ll be adding to it as the situation develops.
If anyone has any feedback, I would highly appreciate it.
What happened, what did you do?
This weekend I went to stay with a bunch of friends at a holiday home to party. As the guy who invited me was also taking his girlfriend, I decide I would invite an old Friend With Benefits to come with me as well. I’ve known the guy for about ten years since university, and the FWB I’ve known for about ten months.
I’ve been close to the guy for a long time. He’s a lot of fun, but he’s not exactly the best person. He struggles with ADHD and can be very week willed, leading him to being dishonest, angry and emotionally manipulative. Despite these flaws, I have a lot of good memories with him, so I still consider him a friend.
As for the girl, I met her at a festival and we hit it off sexually and emotionally in a big way. She lived far from me, and was in a poly-open relationship, so I never considered her relationship material, but we did for a BDSM partnership for a short whilst. It only lasted three months as the distance put to much strain, so I ended my involvement with her made peace with that. A few months ago, she ended up moving back to near where I live. I reached out to her and tried to reconnect and got some response. She had changed a lot and was very quiet and response. We did sleep together once, but it was very different from the passionate and intimate sex we use to have.
I tried to meet up a few times with her after that, but she was always busy, or had some other excuse. I invited her along to the party thinking she probably make an excuse, but to my surprise she agreed to join. We even discussed bringing out BDSM gear, so I was excited sex was on table.
A few days before the party, I find out the guy who invited me was no longer bringing his GF, and that the girl he mentioned wasn’t actually his GF, just someone he was ‘kind of’ seeing and was a having difficulty setting boundaries with. At this point, I started to get paranoid about the whole thing, “what if me FWB, gets with this guy?”. I don’t know why I thought this, so I pushed those feelings away.” You can’t afford the luxury of a negative thought “after all
Unfortunately, after a few hours at this place, this my paranoia became true. He started to ignore everyone else and started speaking to her exclusively her. They started to get along a bit too much, and by the time I went to bed, they were still up together.
I really struggled to sleep that night, but managed to get a few hours sleep. I was torn between thoughts of paranoia, anger at them, and anger at myself for being angry at them. I wasn’t technically committed to her, so I felt bad for being angry, even if later I felt more justified in it.
The next day, everyone else started to feel how awkward it was. I tried to play it call and stoic, I still wanted to enjoy myself and not act like a jealous child. Later that evening, when it was very obvious something was up, I approached my friend about it, and stuff started to hit the fan.
I had a talk with my FWB where she discussed how much she really liked him. She had recently come out of a 7-year relationship and was struggling emotionally.
I then talked with my mate about it. He talked about how he was also struggling a lot with his mental health, his recent ADHD diagnosis, and overall a general pity parade. He was very jealous of me, mentioning how I told him about all the sex and the threesome I had had recently.
We then had a group chat, where I mistakenly agreed to let sleeping dogs lie. I guess I still have a fear of rocking the boat. The house started to hang out for a bit, but they were still close.
I went to bed quite early, as I was still tired from the little sleep I had the night before last. I slept maybe one hour before I woke up stressed. I went backdown stairs to find them cuddling on the couch.
I tried to go back to bed, to put the thoughts out of my head, but I couldn’t. I announced I was going to leave, had one last talk with both, where I told them how pissed off I was, I got into my car in the middle of the night at around 2:30 and was home at my parents’ house at 5:20 in the morning.
How did you feel?
When they started getting together, I felt guilty and upset. Upset because a girl I was with was getting with one of my best friends, and guilty because she wasn’t technically committed to me and I felt like a prick for getting in their way.
Once I had discussed it with a few of the other guests, who also said they were feeling awkward, I started to feel more justified in my anger and being upset.
How dare he get with a girl I was clearly with, and how dare she sleep with one of my best friends at the time.
I felt like I had been treated as cuck, and completely disrespected.
I am angry at him, and I feel justified and good in my anger, a lot more than I am at her.
Towards my ex-FWB, at the time, I didn’t feel angry at her. In fact, I felt incredibly needy during the whole thing. I expect having the girl I was emotionally and sexually connected with get with someone else right in front of you does that to you.
What I’m doing.
I have known him for a long time, and he does a lot of dickish things in the past. At first, I was incredibly angry, and felt like I had to burn that bridge. Right now, I’m not sure what to do. The day after the whole thing, I sent him this message, I am yet to get a reply
“””
I’m struggling to find reasons to want to remain friends with you. You treat me poorly, and you constantly tell embarrassing stories about me and try to put me down. I honestly find you emotionally manipulative, dishonest and disrespectful. This and the tickets has highlighted how very little respect you have not just for me, but for others as well.
I know your ‘trying to heal’ but your in doing so you have caused me a lot of harm, stress and grief, and I’m not sure if I can take it any more.
“””
I have also sent her a message. It reads like this.
"""
Hi Luu, just writing to let you know I made it home fine.
I’m still upset at what happened. I know you and I aren’t in any form of commitment, but I would have still expected you to be more considerate of my feelings.
Yesterday you asked me if I felt Superior to Sam. ‘Yes’ is still the right answer, but I gave you the wrong justification for it. It has nothing to do with my worldly possessions, jobs, friendships, or achievements but it comes down to my core values and integrity.
I consider respect, honesty, and kindness incredible parts of my character, and I do my best to always uphold them. Whilst I make mistakes, like telling Sam yesterday that you loved someone else, I actively try to avoid and learn from them and I apologise sincerely when I do.
I hate to speak poorly of Sam, I have been friends with him for ten years, but he doesn’t have these values. He is disrespectful, dishonest, and emotionally manipulative.
I am honestly confused as to why I felt I half to keep apologising to you, and later sought comfort from you after you hurt me, when really, I should have been angry at you for getting with my best friend like that. I was angry at Sam, but not at you. I need to reflect on what that says about me.
I hate to speak poorly about Sam, because I have been friends with him for a long time but I have to warn you. In the years that I have known him, I honestly cannot say I have known him to have ever have a healthy relationship, or one that ends well. He is prone to burst of rage and violence when he is upset. Please be very careful with him.
“””
She did reply telling me she would read it once she got home, but I haven’t had any more communications from her.
End note
I have spent two days writing this in 2- hours sessions. I suck at writing, and writing from the heart like this is really hard. I’m not sure if I’ll be hitting the gym tomorrow, but if not, I’ll be back to write some more reflections.
If anyone has any feedback, I would highly appreciate it.
What happened, what did you do?
This weekend I went to stay with a bunch of friends at a holiday home to party. As the guy who invited me was also taking his girlfriend, I decide I would invite an old Friend With Benefits to come with me as well. I’ve known the guy for about ten years since university, and the FWB I’ve known for about ten months.
I’ve been close to the guy for a long time. He’s a lot of fun, but he’s not exactly the best person. He struggles with ADHD and can be very week willed, leading him to being dishonest, angry and emotionally manipulative. Despite these flaws, I have a lot of good memories with him, so I still consider him a friend.
As for the girl, I met her at a festival and we hit it off sexually and emotionally in a big way. She lived far from me, and was in a poly-open relationship, so I never considered her relationship material, but we did for a BDSM partnership for a short whilst. It only lasted three months as the distance put to much strain, so I ended my involvement with her made peace with that. A few months ago, she ended up moving back to near where I live. I reached out to her and tried to reconnect and got some response. She had changed a lot and was very quiet and response. We did sleep together once, but it was very different from the passionate and intimate sex we use to have.
I tried to meet up a few times with her after that, but she was always busy, or had some other excuse. I invited her along to the party thinking she probably make an excuse, but to my surprise she agreed to join. We even discussed bringing out BDSM gear, so I was excited sex was on table.
A few days before the party, I find out the guy who invited me was no longer bringing his GF, and that the girl he mentioned wasn’t actually his GF, just someone he was ‘kind of’ seeing and was a having difficulty setting boundaries with. At this point, I started to get paranoid about the whole thing, “what if me FWB, gets with this guy?”. I don’t know why I thought this, so I pushed those feelings away.” You can’t afford the luxury of a negative thought “after all
Unfortunately, after a few hours at this place, this my paranoia became true. He started to ignore everyone else and started speaking to her exclusively her. They started to get along a bit too much, and by the time I went to bed, they were still up together.
I really struggled to sleep that night, but managed to get a few hours sleep. I was torn between thoughts of paranoia, anger at them, and anger at myself for being angry at them. I wasn’t technically committed to her, so I felt bad for being angry, even if later I felt more justified in it.
The next day, everyone else started to feel how awkward it was. I tried to play it call and stoic, I still wanted to enjoy myself and not act like a jealous child. Later that evening, when it was very obvious something was up, I approached my friend about it, and stuff started to hit the fan.
I had a talk with my FWB where she discussed how much she really liked him. She had recently come out of a 7-year relationship and was struggling emotionally.
I then talked with my mate about it. He talked about how he was also struggling a lot with his mental health, his recent ADHD diagnosis, and overall a general pity parade. He was very jealous of me, mentioning how I told him about all the sex and the threesome I had had recently.
We then had a group chat, where I mistakenly agreed to let sleeping dogs lie. I guess I still have a fear of rocking the boat. The house started to hang out for a bit, but they were still close.
I went to bed quite early, as I was still tired from the little sleep I had the night before last. I slept maybe one hour before I woke up stressed. I went backdown stairs to find them cuddling on the couch.
I tried to go back to bed, to put the thoughts out of my head, but I couldn’t. I announced I was going to leave, had one last talk with both, where I told them how pissed off I was, I got into my car in the middle of the night at around 2:30 and was home at my parents’ house at 5:20 in the morning.
How did you feel?
When they started getting together, I felt guilty and upset. Upset because a girl I was with was getting with one of my best friends, and guilty because she wasn’t technically committed to me and I felt like a prick for getting in their way.
Once I had discussed it with a few of the other guests, who also said they were feeling awkward, I started to feel more justified in my anger and being upset.
How dare he get with a girl I was clearly with, and how dare she sleep with one of my best friends at the time.
I felt like I had been treated as cuck, and completely disrespected.
I am angry at him, and I feel justified and good in my anger, a lot more than I am at her.
Towards my ex-FWB, at the time, I didn’t feel angry at her. In fact, I felt incredibly needy during the whole thing. I expect having the girl I was emotionally and sexually connected with get with someone else right in front of you does that to you.
What I’m doing.
I have known him for a long time, and he does a lot of dickish things in the past. At first, I was incredibly angry, and felt like I had to burn that bridge. Right now, I’m not sure what to do. The day after the whole thing, I sent him this message, I am yet to get a reply
“””
I’m struggling to find reasons to want to remain friends with you. You treat me poorly, and you constantly tell embarrassing stories about me and try to put me down. I honestly find you emotionally manipulative, dishonest and disrespectful. This and the tickets has highlighted how very little respect you have not just for me, but for others as well.
I know your ‘trying to heal’ but your in doing so you have caused me a lot of harm, stress and grief, and I’m not sure if I can take it any more.
“””
I have also sent her a message. It reads like this.
"""
Hi Luu, just writing to let you know I made it home fine.
I’m still upset at what happened. I know you and I aren’t in any form of commitment, but I would have still expected you to be more considerate of my feelings.
Yesterday you asked me if I felt Superior to Sam. ‘Yes’ is still the right answer, but I gave you the wrong justification for it. It has nothing to do with my worldly possessions, jobs, friendships, or achievements but it comes down to my core values and integrity.
I consider respect, honesty, and kindness incredible parts of my character, and I do my best to always uphold them. Whilst I make mistakes, like telling Sam yesterday that you loved someone else, I actively try to avoid and learn from them and I apologise sincerely when I do.
I hate to speak poorly of Sam, I have been friends with him for ten years, but he doesn’t have these values. He is disrespectful, dishonest, and emotionally manipulative.
I am honestly confused as to why I felt I half to keep apologising to you, and later sought comfort from you after you hurt me, when really, I should have been angry at you for getting with my best friend like that. I was angry at Sam, but not at you. I need to reflect on what that says about me.
I hate to speak poorly about Sam, because I have been friends with him for a long time but I have to warn you. In the years that I have known him, I honestly cannot say I have known him to have ever have a healthy relationship, or one that ends well. He is prone to burst of rage and violence when he is upset. Please be very careful with him.
“””
She did reply telling me she would read it once she got home, but I haven’t had any more communications from her.
End note
I have spent two days writing this in 2- hours sessions. I suck at writing, and writing from the heart like this is really hard. I’m not sure if I’ll be hitting the gym tomorrow, but if not, I’ll be back to write some more reflections.
Striker
Member
- Joined
- Jul 27, 2021
- Goal
- Lose Weight
- Age
- 26
Personally I wouldn't really blame the girl that much at all, yeah it's a pretty fucked up for her to go with your friend after you invited her but you weren't exactly committed as a couple or even seeing each other regularly so she's pretty much free to do what she wants. She'd curved you a few times with excuses not to meet and then when you did meet you admit it wasn't as good as it used to be. You had an extremely flimsy level of commitment. You gotta move on to other girls and forget her as she's clearly not suitable or trustworthy. The message you sent her shows you cared about her wayyyy more than she cared about you (judging by her actions), it's best to just move on, block her number and forget her.
Your friend on the other hand I don't think there is any way back. I guess it's up to you ultimately but if my 'friend' did that to me I'd never speak to them again. My old friends that I grew away from because I stopped liking them as much due to their personalities had some awful traits and yet I could never imagine one of them doing something like that, it's like the absolute basics of being a friend. Guy seems like a snake and a loser.
I know that you live somewhere remote though so it's probably tougher to cut people off if your options for replacement friends are limited. Rough scenario.
Your friend on the other hand I don't think there is any way back. I guess it's up to you ultimately but if my 'friend' did that to me I'd never speak to them again. My old friends that I grew away from because I stopped liking them as much due to their personalities had some awful traits and yet I could never imagine one of them doing something like that, it's like the absolute basics of being a friend. Guy seems like a snake and a loser.
I know that you live somewhere remote though so it's probably tougher to cut people off if your options for replacement friends are limited. Rough scenario.