Spider’s Progress Log 🕷 DAY 366: Continuation Log Link ⛓️

[Spider Jerusalem]

Day 293: 30/07/2022

Trials and Tribulations: Vacation Obstacles!

What a Fucking nightmare I'm having!

Turns out I've gotta work tomorrow which is a pain in the ass so I've had to change my travel plans

Long story short, Head Office Fucked up on the holiday front as they told me I had an extra day I could have off (tomorrow). They've then realised it's an error and have rescinded authorisation (didn't know they could do that)

So, new plan:

- Work 10:00 - 16:00
- Catch Trains to London from my Town (4 Hours)
- Check-in at Hotel (21:00 Hrs)
- Fly to Amsterdam Next Day (14:30 Hrs)

What a Fucking nightmare!

On top of that, it's been a stress sorting the travel documents out due to COVID Bureaucracy and the Shit Travel Company's systems keep crashing, but looks as though I've sorted this

Done a bag check too and looks like I'm all packed and ready to go

Looking forward to actually just getting there now for the week!

Thanks for reading

Spider 🕷

 

[Spider Jerusalem]

Day 294: 31/07/2022

London Calling

Not long hit London thought I’d drop a quick update on here

Finished my shift at work which was absolutely dead and dragged

Standing room only on the trains to here as well

Been on my feet pretty much 14 Hours now

On the plus side, I’m gonna be clapping cheeks all week starting from tomorrow night

I’m just at my hotel now getting settled in

Fucking beat after work and travelling

Thanks for reading

Spider 🕷

 

[Spider Jerusalem]

Day 295: 01/08/2022

Amsterdam!

Just hit the Dam - travelling all day so Fucked!

Proper update tomorrow

Thanks for reading

Spider 🕷

 

[Spider Jerusalem]

Day 296: 02/08/2022

️LAY 14️ American Cougar

Fucked the American Cougar I met in Amsterdam this morning

Tried to get on her last night, but we were both too tired

Woke up next to her this morning and Fucked her

Started off playing with her tits and nipples which are hypersensitive which got her moaning and then I went down on her - she was making this face:

I then Fucked her on her side then missionary - she was dripping wet

For my own peace of mind, I used a condom every time and this girl is on birth control

That’s Lay 14 in the bag

I’ll try get on her again later

I’m off to a coffeeshop now to get high ️

I’ll post on here of anything of note tomorrow

Thanks for reading

Spider 🕷

 

[Spider Jerusalem]

Sexual Tyranny and Gum Infection

Sexual Tyranny

So my FWB I’ve been hanging with has turned into a bit of a sexual tyrant I get her off and instead of her returning the favour, she goes back to sleep

I’m a dumb Motherfucker for getting myself into this position Doesn’t help when there’s all these beautiful Dutch women walking around in not much clothing as there’s a heatwave going on here

If anything positive from this situation can be taken? This kinda bullshit is making me want to improve myself to a point where I’m attractive enough that I don’t have to put up with this bollocks

I’m trying to use this as a way of lighting a fire under my ass to drive me to self-improve to the point I can achieve ‘elite’ status

Gum Infection

To make matters worse? I’ve had to go to a dentist here as my gum is infected again I’m in agony and can only chew on one side of my mouth

It’s cost me money and time out of my vacation to get this sorted

I’m hoping tomorrow goes better

Thanks for reading

Spider 🕷

 

[Spider Jerusalem]

Day 298: 04/08/2022

Dutch Women are Beautiful

Every time I take a walk down the street here, I quite literally fall in love

The women here are beautiful. I look at the type of chicks back home and there’s just no comparison at all

I look at the guys these chicks are with too - tall, well built, well-dressed and with a look of ‘I’m successful…’

I’d like to come back here again at some point (3rd time lucky) when I’ve self-improved enough maybe for 2 weeks or so and game the hell out of Tinder

I think there’s opportunity here to get laid with 7’s, 8’s and 9’s if you have your shit together

Lots of good-looking foreign chicks here too

I’m going to look at coming back here in 2-3 years, book a place for 2 weeks and see how many times I can get laid

Thanks for reading

Spider 🕷

 

[Spider Jerusalem]

Day 299: 05/08/2022

Hard Lesson: FWB Shows True Colours

Well boys, I’m a Fucking idiot

My vacation has pretty much gone to shit at this point because the girl I’ve gone with has been a complete Fucking nightmare

Not only has she been a sexual tyrant, this chick has been getting drunk, high and stupid every night smoking weed, drinking heavy and eating Space Cakes - all at the same time

This has kept her up until sometimes 5 every morning watching tv, disturbing me, just being a nuisance etc. so I haven’t been getting any sleep - she’s been shouting at me to ‘wake up’ etc. when I’m trying to sleep as she ‘doesn’t want to be high alone…’.

This means she doesn’t get out of bed until at least 12 in the afternoon most days when the day’s wasted 🗑 I like to get up early, so this morning I did that and went off by myself

She woke at 12, asked me where I was. I’m an honest guy and got nothing to hide, so I said ‘I’m just by the Red Light District’…

Then she goes Fucking apeshit.

I’ve been accused of Fucking prostitutes left right and centre, been called a ‘creep’, and she’s pretty much been just vile to me

I’m not married or in a relationship of any kind with this Fucking bitch and she thinks she can get pissy with me and try to tell me where I can and can’t go? She can Fuck right off

This isn’t the 1st time I’ve noticed this and there has been these Red Flags whilst we’ve been here:

- She’s obnoxious and racist - uses the N word a lot and is convinced the ‘sneaky Dutch’ are trying to scam her at every turn

- She’s got a severe drug and alcohol problem - this week has shown this

- We’ve had sex once. Not that I want to anymore as I’m totally put off her now

- She’s tried to control me by getting arsey when I go somewhere, see someone or do something she ‘doesn’t approve of’

- Called me a ‘creep’ for looking at naked female paintings at an art exhibit she wanted to Fucking go to.

- She’s pissed off about the room (which she booked) not meeting her expectations and still took it out on me

- She’s gone on and on about how she’s an ‘Alpha Female’ I.e ‘I’m a complete an utter Fucking Bitch if you don’t do what I say and now to my every whim…’

We’re currently avoiding each other, but we’re both here until the 7th and fly back together Planned to stay over in London, but Fuck that. I’m getting the train straight back home and she can please herself

One thing I have done is grab my Passport out the room - you don’t know what this girl might try.

I’ve been looking at other hotels and flights home as at this point, my vacation is pretty much over and done with thanks to this bitch. It’s a lotta money to do either, so I’ll have that as a last resort

Supposed to be my graduation present to myself. All that money wasted because of this obnoxious twat

I blame myself for getting myself into this position though really. Guess you don’t truly know someone until you spend time living with them

Couple of lessons I’m taking from this

- I am now no longer going to date or Fuck anyone Older than me. This ‘I’m an Alpha Female Controlling Bitch’ attitude is rife amongst the 30 plus wall hitters I’ve been hanging around with the past year or so and has caused me nothing but problems

- I am never going on vacation with anyone who isn’t my girlfriend and in a committed relationship with me

- I need to improve myself to the point I can attract more submissive, feminine and agreeable women who won’t pull this bullshit on me

Sorry for the rant, but I’m pissed off about this big time.

Roll on 3 Days

Thanks for Reading

Spider 🕷

 

[Brother_Tucker]

Day 299: 05/08/2022

Hard Lesson: FWB Shows True Colours

Well boys, I’m a Fucking idiot

My vacation has pretty much gone to shit at this point because the girl I’ve gone with has been a complete Fucking nightmare

Not only has she been a sexual tyrant, this chick has been getting drunk, high and stupid every night smoking weed, drinking heavy and eating Space Cakes - all at the same time

This has kept her up until sometimes 5 every morning watching tv, disturbing me, just being a nuisance etc. so I haven’t been getting any sleep - she’s been shouting at me to ‘wake up’ etc. when I’m trying to sleep as she ‘doesn’t want to be high alone…’.

This means she doesn’t get out of bed until at least 12 in the afternoon most days when the day’s wasted 🗑 I like to get up early, so this morning I did that and went off by myself

She woke at 12, asked me where I was. I’m an honest guy and got nothing to hide, so I said ‘I’m just by the Red Light District’…

Then she goes Fucking apeshit.

I’ve been accused of Fucking prostitutes left right and centre, been called a ‘creep’, and she’s pretty much been just vile to me

I’m not married or in a relationship of any kind with this Fucking bitch and she thinks she can get pissy with me and try to tell me where I can and can’t go? She can Fuck right off

This isn’t the 1st time I’ve noticed this and there has been these Red Flags whilst we’ve been here:

- She’s obnoxious and racist - uses the N word a lot and is convinced the ‘sneaky Dutch’ are trying to scam her at every turn

- She’s got a severe drug and alcohol problem - this week has shown this

- We’ve had sex once. Not that I want to anymore as I’m totally put off her now

- She’s tried to control me by getting arsey when I go somewhere, see someone or do something she ‘doesn’t approve of’

- Called me a ‘creep’ for looking at naked female paintings at an art exhibit she wanted to Fucking go to.

- She’s pissed off about the room (which she booked) not meeting her expectations and still took it out on me

- She’s gone on and on about how she’s an ‘Alpha Female’ I.e ‘I’m a complete an utter Fucking Bitch if you don’t do what I say and now to my every whim…’

We’re currently avoiding each other, but we’re both here until the 7th and fly back together Planned to stay over in London, but Fuck that. I’m getting the train straight back home and she can please herself

One thing I have done is grab my Passport out the room - you don’t know what this girl might try.

I’ve been looking at other hotels and flights home as at this point, my vacation is pretty much over and done with thanks to this bitch. It’s a lotta money to do either, so I’ll have that as a last resort

Supposed to be my graduation present to myself. All that money wasted because of this obnoxious twat

I blame myself for getting myself into this position though really. Guess you don’t truly know someone until you spend time living with them

Couple of lessons I’m taking from this

- I am now no longer going to date or Fuck anyone Older than me. This ‘I’m an Alpha Female Controlling Bitch’ attitude is rife amongst the 30 plus wall hitters I’ve been hanging around with the past year or so and has caused me nothing but problems

- I am never going on vacation with anyone who isn’t my girlfriend and in a committed relationship with me

- I need to improve myself to the point I can attract more submissive, feminine and agreeable women who won’t pull this bullshit on me

Sorry for the rant, but I’m pissed off about this big time.

Roll on 3 Days

Thanks for Reading

Spider 🕷

Sort out your own hotel room, fire up tinder and enjoy the rest of your trip without the American or just head home. You can always make more money and meet new girls, you cant get the time back though. This time is a gift to you so in this rare case, put yourself first and stop giving your time to a damaged person and enjoy the holiday you signed up for or get home.

It's unfortunate you had this experience, I know you were looking forward to it for a long time. The rules are there to stop stuff like this happening to you where you end up trapped somewhere you don't want to be. Follow the rules we talked about in your DMs and never put yourself in a place where you cant walk away.

I do have to ask about the sexual tyranny thing, it sounds like you both had sex? Or you did other stuff and she went back to sleep? It's a little unclear. There is an abundance of girls out there, if she behaves this way that's totally fine, you just stop giving her time and attention and enjoy the rest of the holiday without her. Do not for one second feel guilty about leaving her and enjoying the rest of your life. Just write this one off as a bad experience and find a way to make the rest of your holiday a positive one. You don't even need to speak to her. Just make a booking at another place, go get your stuff and leave. Sure being able to explain why your leaving will sound like its the right thing to do but fuck that you don't owe this person anything. Value your fucking time, because no one else will if you don't.

Next update, either you made your way home or you sorted out another hotel. Anything else is an excuse and your better than that.

 

[AskTheDom]

Day 299: 05/08/2022

Hard Lesson: FWB Shows True Colours

Well boys, I’m a Fucking idiot

My vacation has pretty much gone to shit at this point because the girl I’ve gone with has been a complete Fucking nightmare

Not only has she been a sexual tyrant, this chick has been getting drunk, high and stupid every night smoking weed, drinking heavy and eating Space Cakes - all at the same time

This has kept her up until sometimes 5 every morning watching tv, disturbing me, just being a nuisance etc. so I haven’t been getting any sleep - she’s been shouting at me to ‘wake up’ etc. when I’m trying to sleep as she ‘doesn’t want to be high alone…’.

This means she doesn’t get out of bed until at least 12 in the afternoon most days when the day’s wasted 🗑 I like to get up early, so this morning I did that and went off by myself

She woke at 12, asked me where I was. I’m an honest guy and got nothing to hide, so I said ‘I’m just by the Red Light District’…

Then she goes Fucking apeshit.

I’ve been accused of Fucking prostitutes left right and centre, been called a ‘creep’, and she’s pretty much been just vile to me

I’m not married or in a relationship of any kind with this Fucking bitch and she thinks she can get pissy with me and try to tell me where I can and can’t go? She can Fuck right off

This isn’t the 1st time I’ve noticed this and there has been these Red Flags whilst we’ve been here:

- She’s obnoxious and racist - uses the N word a lot and is convinced the ‘sneaky Dutch’ are trying to scam her at every turn

- She’s got a severe drug and alcohol problem - this week has shown this

- We’ve had sex once. Not that I want to anymore as I’m totally put off her now

- She’s tried to control me by getting arsey when I go somewhere, see someone or do something she ‘doesn’t approve of’

- Called me a ‘creep’ for looking at naked female paintings at an art exhibit she wanted to Fucking go to.

- She’s pissed off about the room (which she booked) not meeting her expectations and still took it out on me

- She’s gone on and on about how she’s an ‘Alpha Female’ I.e ‘I’m a complete an utter Fucking Bitch if you don’t do what I say and now to my every whim…’

We’re currently avoiding each other, but we’re both here until the 7th and fly back together Planned to stay over in London, but Fuck that. I’m getting the train straight back home and she can please herself

One thing I have done is grab my Passport out the room - you don’t know what this girl might try.

I’ve been looking at other hotels and flights home as at this point, my vacation is pretty much over and done with thanks to this bitch. It’s a lotta money to do either, so I’ll have that as a last resort

Supposed to be my graduation present to myself. All that money wasted because of this obnoxious twat

I blame myself for getting myself into this position though really. Guess you don’t truly know someone until you spend time living with them

Couple of lessons I’m taking from this

- I am now no longer going to date or Fuck anyone Older than me. This ‘I’m an Alpha Female Controlling Bitch’ attitude is rife amongst the 30 plus wall hitters I’ve been hanging around with the past year or so and has caused me nothing but problems

- I am never going on vacation with anyone who isn’t my girlfriend and in a committed relationship with me

- I need to improve myself to the point I can attract more submissive, feminine and agreeable women who won’t pull this bullshit on me

Sorry for the rant, but I’m pissed off about this big time.

Roll on 3 Days

Thanks for Reading

Spider 🕷

Sort out your own hotel room, fire up tinder and enjoy the rest of your trip without the American or just head home. You can always make more money and meet new girls, you cant get the time back though. This time is a gift to you so in this rare case, put yourself first and stop giving your time to a damaged person and enjoy the holiday you signed up for or get home.

It's unfortunate you had this experience, I know you were looking forward to it for a long time. The rules are there to stop stuff like this happening to you where you end up trapped somewhere you don't want to be. Follow the rules we talked about in your DMs and never put yourself in a place where you cant walk away.

I do have to ask about the sexual tyranny thing, it sounds like you both had sex? Or you did other stuff and she went back to sleep? It's a little unclear. There is an abundance of girls out there, if she behaves this way that's totally fine, you just stop giving her time and attention and enjoy the rest of the holiday without her. Do not for one second feel guilty about leaving her and enjoying the rest of your life. Just write this one off as a bad experience and find a way to make the rest of your holiday a positive one. You don't even need to speak to her. Just make a booking at another place, go get your stuff and leave. Sure being able to explain why your leaving will sound like its the right thing to do but fuck that you don't owe this person anything. Value your fucking time, because no one else will if you don't.

Next update, either you made your way home or you sorted out another hotel. Anything else is an excuse and your better than that.

I absolutely sponsor this advice: time is limited as well as your mental energies in any day, why poison yourself?
Pack your stuff, get to a nice shared room or hostel if you are low on funds and ENJOY LIFE (you know you will die one day so it's up to you make it memorable till that moment)

Pretty much else you figured out by yourself, when a woman tells me "i'm an alpha woman" (and btw this is prevalent in the anglo sphere world) i laugh and say good bye - as a Dom one of the first things you learn is the difference between Dominant and Domineering, One set boundaries and creates a safe space in which the sub gets fulfilled, the other uses abuse and manipulation for their own pleasure. Which is exactly what this person is trying to pull off.

I repeat again - L E A V E T H E R O O M N O W -

 

[Spider Jerusalem]

Day 300: 06/08/2022

Spider Finds His Balls and Ditches a Bitch

Day 300 today and I’m manning up big time.

Thank you to Brother_Tucker amd AskTheDom for both of your input on my log yesterday

I’m staying somewhere else tonight and I’m catching a direct flight home tomorrow

Had to stay last night due to some logistical problems which again was a Fucking nightmare that couldn’t be avoided 🗑

Not putting up with this chick’s bullshit anymore.

Currently sat in a Coffeeshop getting high, chilling out and enjoying my last day

I’d post more but I’m still in a pretty shitty mood because of everything going on

Just trying to enjoy the rest of my day and forget about it.

Thanks for reading

Spider 🕷

 

[Spider Jerusalem]

Day 301: 07/08/2022

Back in the U.K - Reflections on the Past Week

I got home early this morning after booking an earlier flight due to the behaviour of my so-called 'Friend'

I'm so glad to be home honestly. I'm currently sat here and I'm quite sombre. Currently in a state of reflection over what happened the past week

There were a couple of things I weren't going to mention out of shame, but Fuck it, it's my log and I got nothing to hide:

This girl got drunk and hit me the other night. She also started calling me a 'pussy' etc. when I refused to have sex with her because she was drunk (due to previous bad experiences I refused and I’m not one to Fuck a girl when consent is a grey area)

That's what pushed me to pack my shit there and then and Fuck off

My phone has been pinging with messages from her.

Boo hoo hoo. Couldn't care less

Blocked her on everything

There are many reasons why I'm upset about what happened:

- I've known this girl 5 years + and I even met her parents
- This vacation cost me about £1200 in total
- It's my last vacation for a long time due to financial concerns R.E. the Cost of Living Crisis
- Following on from the above, She's got a good job and makes 72k a year, whereas I work in a shop
- I was accused of 'abandoning her' and never being there for her. Classic gaslighting
- She was pretending to have panic attacks when she realised I was leaving
- I was going to go on my own. Kinda wish I had
- Saw many happy couples together
- Saw many beautiful women (Dutch women are beautiful)

She just made me feel helpless, weak and pathetic. Even went as far as to mocking my anxiety and insecurities so I’m in a bit of a dark place 🕳

I'm gonna leave it there for today

I'm absolutely beat after travelling and I haven't exactly been in the best of moods. Trains aren't exactly ideal when you are trying to avoid thinking about things

Again, many thanks to AskTheDom, Brother_Tucker and Adam for the support. I will reply to your posts with further details tomorrow - please accept my apologies for not getting back to your points in a punctual manner, it's just been a really shitty couple of days.

Thanks for Reading

Spider 🕷

 

[AskTheDom]

Hey Buddy,

I understand the shame you felt BUT massive congrats on taking responsibility for everything and doing what is best for you.
It's normal to be pissed and you have every right to do so, although I would consider this 1200 gbp you spent as a PHD in relationship dynamics. My only advise is to not waste the lesson and learn that when you spot a red flag, the "time to bail" clock starts ticking.

One last thing "Saw many beautiful women (Dutch women are beautiful)" - there are plenty of beautiful women all around the world. Focus on yourself for now and to give your best self the best chances possibles to have a great life

 

[Spider Jerusalem]

Sort out your own hotel room, fire up tinder and enjoy the rest of your trip without the American or just head home. You can always make more money and meet new girls, you cant get the time back though. This time is a gift to you so in this rare case, put yourself first and stop giving your time to a damaged person and enjoy the holiday you signed up for or get home.

It's unfortunate you had this experience, I know you were looking forward to it for a long time. The rules are there to stop stuff like this happening to you where you end up trapped somewhere you don't want to be. Follow the rules we talked about in your DMs and never put yourself in a place where you cant walk away.

I do have to ask about the sexual tyranny thing, it sounds like you both had sex? Or you did other stuff and she went back to sleep? It's a little unclear. There is an abundance of girls out there, if she behaves this way that's totally fine, you just stop giving her time and attention and enjoy the rest of the holiday without her. Do not for one second feel guilty about leaving her and enjoying the rest of your life. Just write this one off as a bad experience and find a way to make the rest of your holiday a positive one. You don't even need to speak to her. Just make a booking at another place, go get your stuff and leave. Sure being able to explain why your leaving will sound like its the right thing to do but fuck that you don't owe this person anything. Value your fucking time, because no one else will if you don't.

Next update, either you made your way home or you sorted out another hotel. Anything else is an excuse and your better than that.

Brother_Tucker

Thank you for the advice it was much appreciated.

I took it on by getting another room for myself and flying back early on my own as the vacation was pretty much Fucked.

As regards to the sexual tyranny aspect, I'd make her come by going down on her then she'd say 'Oh I'm going to sleep now...' or I'd try and initiate things and she'd get all shitty 'I need space...' and 'wait for me to initiate things...'.

She was just a complete Fucking bitch about it the whole time. She was going on about it in the months up how she's bought new lingerie and 'can't wait to Fuck me...' etc. etc.

In reality we had sex twice the whole 5 Days and even then it felt like it was begrudging 'duty sex'.

It's really shown how she truly felt towards me and the lack of respect and her attitude is just disgusting upon reflection.

Think she saw me as a doormat, so I'm glad that I just packed my shit and went out the door.

Thanks again

Spider

 

[Spider Jerusalem]

I absolutely sponsor this advice: time is limited as well as your mental energies in any day, why poison yourself?
Pack your stuff, get to a nice shared room or hostel if you are low on funds and ENJOY LIFE (you know you will die one day so it's up to you make it memorable till that moment)

Pretty much else you figured out by yourself, when a woman tells me "i'm an alpha woman" (and btw this is prevalent in the anglo sphere world) i laugh and say good bye - as a Dom one of the first things you learn is the difference between Dominant and Domineering, One set boundaries and creates a safe space in which the sub gets fulfilled, the other uses abuse and manipulation for their own pleasure. Which is exactly what this person is trying to pull off.

I repeat again - L E A V E T H E R O O M N O W -

AskTheDom

Thanks for the input my man

Totally get this. All my life I've been guilty of putting other people first which leaves me unfulfilled and unsatisfied.

I don't think women know how to be truly dominant because they aren't hardwired for it, so they come off with this fake 'I'm just like a man' machismo which is toxic and dangerous. Saw a lot of that this week and it was like I had an epiphany.

I took your advice and got out - thank you for taking the time to drop in and help me out it's much appreciated. I value the input of an experienced guy such as yourself.

Thanks again

Spider

 

[MakingAComeback]

Spider, sorry this happened man. This really sucks.

We in our culture are quick to admonish men for being toxic, for destroying culture and civilisation.

We're not able to criticise women for any of their actions. It's mysogynistic. Therein lies the problem: there is no corrective mechanism for awful female behaviour.

Whatever they do, and however they want, someone will reward them for it.

So you simply forget they exist and move onto the next. Blocked on all platforms like you did. And that's that.

Well done!

MAC

 

[Spider Jerusalem]

Spider, sorry this happened man. This really sucks.

We in our culture are quick to admonish men for being toxic, for destroying culture and civilisation.

We're not able to criticise women for any of their actions. It's mysogynistic. Therein lies the problem: there is no corrective mechanism for awful female behaviour.

Whatever they do, and however they want, someone will reward them for it.

So you simply forget they exist and move onto the next. Blocked on all platforms like you did. And that's that.

Well done!

MAC

MakingAComeback

Thanks Mac

Appreciate you dropping by and dropping me some words of encouragement

Definitely a deeper cultural issue one which I believe lies therein fact that men have no inherent value compared to women and children who are valued for just existing - think the Titanic Lifeboat analogy: 'Women and Children first'.

I'm now at the stage where I've decided not to reward shitty behaviour. I coulda simped, stuck around and tried to fix things, but I thought 'Nah.' Packed my shit and went out the door. I'm going to try to become this 'corrective mechanism' that you speak of.

Probably be some other chump lining up to put up with her bullshit and reward her shitty behaviour which is fine - long as it's not me.

Thanks again man - always good to see you

Spider

 

[Spider Jerusalem]

Day 302: 08/08/2022

New Quest Added - Toxic Waste!

I came across an interesting article on the internet recently regarding self-improvement and video games 🕹 I was also watching the Jocko Podcast on YouTube where he said he sees challenges in life as a 'game' and that he's here to win and, quite literally, ‘crush it’

I'm a massive Fallout Fan Minus Fallout 76 of course, which was a Fucking Dumpster Fire 🗑

So I came up with the idea of treating my self-improvement like Fallout-Themed Quests 🗺 Every Quest I complete nets me experience points (xp) as well as an award which helps keep me motivated to continue - much like in Fallout

I've started designing these 'Quests' on the notes app. on my phone so I can easily access them and rock and roll anytime - much like in the 'Pip-Boy' in the actual game (a computer on your wrist that you can access anytime to check your quest progress)

I was thinking about what my first 'Quest' could be, when I came up with the perfect idea in light of how I've been treated the past couple of days

Toxic Waste!

See below for what's in the ‘Notes’ app. on my phone:

Toxic Waste!





Oh no! You’ve been exposed to toxic ’friends!’ It’s time to clean house and take out the trash: End your association with 'The American Girl', block her on everything and cleanse your phone book. Dump the toxic waste where it belongs! 🗑

Quest Completed!

Reward:

Advance to the next level and toast your newfound freedom with an ice-cold glass bottle of coke!

100xp
Glass Bottle of Coke

View attachment 1

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What spurred me to do this was this chick sent me a message on 'PayPal' because I blocked her on everything else

It's obvious she's pissed I'm not giving her what she wants and just Fucked off and left her.

Good.

So this Quest is called 'Toxic Waste! ' Because that's how I see this chick and that's where she belongs - dumped in the trash. I've now blocked her on everything and erased all trace from my phone, so I've marked this 'Quest' as completed

I've used a photo of the 'Vault Boy' from Fallout in a Toxic Waste Barrell as the 'Quest Icon'. There are loads of Vault-Boy pictures on the Internet, so I'll almost always be able to find one relating to whatever 'Quest' I am on to use as the icon on my phone

Chose to reward myself with xp (so I've now moved up to Level 2) and an Ice Cold Glass Bottle of Coke to enjoy later on, as I don't drink alcohol

I've also played the 'Fallout Level Up' Theme to give me a sense of achievement once I'd done it

Might seem a bit silly, but I'm feeling like it's working. If it helps, it helps

I'll put the next Quest on in due course and update. I'll try to come up with a new one every 2-3 Days and post it on here along with a 'reward' which I'll give myself to keep me motivated

Thanks for reading

Spider🕷

 

[Spider Jerusalem]

Haha, I love this. I love RPG games and loved Fallout 3 and New Vegas. Finding ways to make self improvement fun is important

Adam

Aha most definitely! I think If it’s not fun, then why do it? I’ve made like 10 quests up so far, so I’m getting on it!

 

[Brother_Tucker]

Day 301: 07/08/2022

Back in the U.K - Reflections on the Past Week

I got home early this morning after booking an earlier flight due to the behaviour of my so-called 'Friend'

I'm so glad to be home honestly. I'm currently sat here and I'm quite sombre. Currently in a state of reflection over what happened the past week

There were a couple of things I weren't going to mention out of shame, but Fuck it, it's my log and I got nothing to hide:

This girl got drunk and hit me the other night. She also started calling me a 'pussy' etc. when I refused to have sex with her because she was drunk (due to previous bad experiences I refused and I’m not one to Fuck a girl when consent is a grey area)

That's what pushed me to pack my shit there and then and Fuck off

Asides from putting yourself in a position where you were trapped with this girl, you shouldn't feel bad. The problem this girl has is that so many people in her life tolerate her bad behavior and have enabled her to act like this and get away with it. A side note: I thought you didn't sleep with her at all because she was tired after you got her off? Your kind of flipping on this and you don't need to prove anything to people on the internet.

My phone has been pinging with messages from her.

Boo hoo hoo. Couldn't care less

Blocked her on everything

As one of the few people that actually held her to a standard, she doesn't like it. Blocking this person out of your life is 100% the correct play.

There are many reasons why I'm upset about what happened:

- I've known this girl 5 years + and I even met her parents - >Doesn't mean anything, you've known of her for 5 years and she told you who she is. All you have to do is listen
- This vacation cost me about £1200 in total - > How? you went to Amsterdam and she covered the cost of the room for the most part? Something to work on is planning out your trips and budgeting a bit more. £1200 would have let you go to a lot of places much more exotic.
- It's my last vacation for a long time due to financial concerns R.E. the Cost of Living Crisis - > You can always make more money, it sucks but learn from this
- Following on from the above, She's got a good job and makes 72k a year, whereas I work in a shop -> What are your goals for this? are you working towards getting a higher paying job or do you have a plan in mind. It sounds like this bothers you and I'm curious how you want to move forward
- I was accused of 'abandoning her' and never being there for her. Classic gaslighting You did abandon her for terrible behavior. Don't even feel remotely guilty about this.
- She was pretending to have panic attacks when she realised I was leaving Yes she realized she was losing control of the situation and hopes you will not have any boundaries you're willing to enforce. I'm glad you followed through and walked away
- I was going to go on my own. Kinda wish I had - > Let's be honest, no you didn't. You were looking forward to having your way with this girl for weeks. She pitched a place and that's when you decided you wanted to go. Technically you broke the rules by traveling way to far for a hook up. Next trip, where do you want to go and why?
- Saw many happy couples together - > This is interesting for you to bring up. A lot of your logs imply you don't want a relationship and you're looking for casual. Do you feel you're missing out on a relationship when looking at other people?
- Saw many beautiful women (Dutch women are beautiful) - > There are beautiful women all over the world. You will get another chance

Responses in bold

She just made me feel helpless, weak and pathetic. Even went as far as to mocking my anxiety and insecurities so I’m in a bit of a dark place 🕳

You over invested in a girl against your own interest and it blew up. The rules are there to minimize things blowing up in your face and reducing the over all cost to you. Now you can bend or break some rules as you get more experienced, but you're not there yet and should stick to the rules as you build confidence. Also I have to ask, why were you showing this side to her? this is what your guy friends are for. You just cant lean on girls with your vulnerability they just aren't built to help you. Some people may disagree, but I find they just cant look at you and feel desire and help with your emotional burden. It's sad, but its on you to handle this stuff and not depend on her.

Learn from this and move forward. Don't worry about the costs, you did the right thing walking away and cutting contact with someone who would have made your life suck for every second longer she was involved.

 

[Spider Jerusalem]

Day 303: 09/08/2022

New Quest Wang Dang Atomic No-Fap Fandango!

Just added and completed a new quest

Wang Dang Atomic No-Fap Fandango!

View attachment 1

Time to rewire your mind, shake the demon off your back and pack in the Fapping!

Re-start No-Fap and Download a progress tracker to keep yourself on Target!

Reward:

Advance to the next level and pick up a pack of decent rubbers - you're gonna need em' as you won't be fapping no more!

- 100xp
- 2 Boxes of Skyn's natural large condoms




I ended up using some of these when I laid the Sexologist Chick

They are the ones that fit me best and felt the best So as a reward for getting back into No-Fap, felt these were ideal as I want the next time I finish to be when I’m with a new lay!

Some big developments today, but I’ll drop a post on tomorrow as it’s part of a new Quest!

Thanks for Reading

Spider 🕷