Spider’s Progress Log 🕷 DAY 366: Continuation Log Link ⛓️

[Spider Jerusalem]

Brother_Tucker

Hey man thanks for the lengthy and detailed reply and sorry about getting back to you a bit late on this. Been catching up on my sleep and getting back into work after the dumpster fire of the vacation last week

Asides from putting yourself in a position where you were trapped with this girl, you shouldn't feel bad. The problem this girl has is that so many people in her life tolerate her bad behavior and have enabled her to act like this and get away with it. A side note: I thought you didn't sleep with her at all because she was tired after you got her off? Your kind of flipping on this and you don't need to prove anything to people on the internet.

It was pretty stupid of me upon reflection. I have been beating myself up about it this past week or so, but I think I need to chill on this. I get that impression that she's had no corrective behaviour mechanism in her life and people just put up with her bullshit. When I did walk, she blew up my phone (or tried to as I blocked her) and threw a tantrum pretty much. Yeah sorry I probably wasn't very clear on it with my update - we had sex once later that week but it felt like begrudging 'duty sex'.

As one of the few people that actually held her to a standard, she doesn't like it. Blocking this person out of your life is 100% the correct play.

100%. I must admit, after I got over the initial 'Am I a bad person for doing this?' Beta male thought process, it felt pretty good to stop her dead in her tracks like I did with leaving and blocking her on everything.

Doesn't mean anything, you've known of her for 5 years and she told you who she is. All you have to do is listen

You're right man. I gotta read between the lines. She's been living in America, so I only saw her couple times a year but never really lived with her like we did the other week. Big mistake on my part which I won't be repeating.

How? you went to Amsterdam and she covered the cost of the room for the most part? Something to work on is planning out your trips and budgeting a bit more. £1200 would have let you go to a lot of places much more exotic.

Everything was booked late (room etc.) and flights have skyrocketed due to the fuel crisis. I did spend a fair bit on meals and gifts whilst I was there too, so this could go someway toward explaining it, but I should've planned better and shopped around - this was too much to spend so I'll learn from this for next time. I reckon I could do South America for a hell of a lot cheaper and there'll be more receptive and feminine women there too. This is something I've been considering doing for a while.

You can always make more money, it sucks but learn from this

Lesson Learned! I've been signing up for every scrap of overtime going at work and saving up is the new goal. Pretty much working full-time at the minute.

What are your goals for this? are you working towards getting a higher paying job or do you have a plan in mind. It sounds like this bothers you and I'm curious how you want to move forward

I had a bit of a mental breakdown about 6 months ago (various family and work related issues) and I was off sick from work for 4 months (signed off by a doctor), so this duty manager job I'm doing at the minute is to get me back into work. It's not too taxing and the pay is okay, but I do want a bit more. However, I'm still on antidepressants and I'm not 100% there yet, but I'm hoping to stick this out a bit to put some cash in my back pocket and continue to work on managing my mental health. Recently graduated, so once I'm more evened out, it'll be next on the list to get a decent, better paying job or I'll look at getting a higher-paying role with this company. Work in progress.

You did abandon her for terrible behavior. Don't even feel remotely guilty about this.

Yes mate, I did feel a bit guilty for about a day or so after, but now I see it as the right decision. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.

Yes she realized she was losing control of the situation and hopes you will not have any boundaries you're willing to enforce. I'm glad you followed through and walked away

Felt like I was finally manning up and found my balls when I did this. Found a side of me that I wasn't quite sure I had. You and the other guys who commented were a real big help - big thanks to AskTheDom so thank you for this.

Let's be honest, no you didn't. You were looking forward to having your way with this girl for weeks. She pitched a place and that's when you decided you wanted to go. Technically you broke the rules by traveling way to far for a hook up. Next trip, where do you want to go and why?

Yeah you're right this was just a big cope on my part and I wasn't being honest with myself. I broke one of the commandments and I paid for it dearly. I'll have a think on that one. Definitely will go on my own and pick an interesting place. Any girls I meet wherever I go will just be the icing on the cake so to speak.

This is interesting for you to bring up. A lot of your logs imply you don't want a relationship and you're looking for casual. Do you feel you're missing out on a relationship when looking at other people?

Honestly, I think it just pissed me off at the time that I was having a rough time with this chick and I was seeing other people having smooth sailing with the girls they were dating. I do sometimes feel I'm missing out, but I wouldn't get into a relationship again because I like seeing other people and I don't feel like I'm at the level that Andy and some of the other elite guys are at where they are in the very good position that they can write their own ticket and be in a relationship, but sleep with other girls non-monogamously. That would be something I'd consider for the future.

There are beautiful women all over the world. You will get another chance

True. This was scarcity mindset talk when I need to get back into the abundance mindset. I get a little narrow-minded when I'm pissed off and having a rough time. Thank you for helping me see this.

You over invested in a girl against your own interest and it blew up. The rules are there to minimize things blowing up in your face and reducing the over all cost to you. Now you can bend or break some rules as you get more experienced, but you're not there yet and should stick to the rules as you build confidence. Also I have to ask, why were you showing this side to her? this is what your guy friends are for. You just cant lean on girls with your vulnerability they just aren't built to help you. Some people may disagree, but I find they just cant look at you and feel desire and help with your emotional burden. It's sad, but its on you to handle this stuff and not depend on her.

Learn from this and move forward. Don't worry about the costs, you did the right thing walking away and cutting contact with someone who would have made your life suck for every second longer she was involved.

This was a very hard, but very important lesson for me to learn. Yeah she found my antidepressants and asked. Me thinking I'd known her for 5 years and could trust her, or rather known 'of her' as you put it which I'm seeing as the truth now, I just told her like a dumbass. Haven't really got any guy friends, so this is something I need to work on. Haven't got any friends full stop really, so yeah I should probably look at addressing this. Totally agree with this now as I read some Red Pill stuff on it which sadly the Red Pill gets it right on this one I believe.

Thanks man. Lesson learned and I'll keep this on my mind for the future.

She added nothing to my life and I'm glad I cut her out. I'm focusing on myself now for a little while, but I'm back on Tinder so I'm not letting it kick me down too much. Kinda seeing it as her 'winning' if I don't get back into the dating straight away. Seeing it as a nice, big 'Fuck you' to her every time I swipe on a better quality girl.

Thanks again for all your help - much appreciated that you took the time. Every time have the back and forth, I feel like I come away more educated and a lot wiser about dating, women and life in general.

Spider 🕷

 

[Lord Rey]

Hey man, I just read what happened with your vacation. I can only sympathize with you as I've been through similar shit with an ex. I wish I had ditched her like you did but I was too much of a nice guy to resist her gaslighting and didn't have the balls to just cut my losses and walk away. It ended up costing me a whole lot more when I finally ended things with her after wasting a ton of money/time/energy on trying to "fix things".

Like said above, don't beat yourself too much for the money/time/energy lost with that girl, take it simply as a lesson.

BTW, thanks for the laugh with your Fallout quests, that's actually a great idea.

 

[colgate / bulldog]

The quests idea is interesting, and you should link the correlating posts explaining what they are in your signature.

 

[Holden]

Stuff like this is exactly why I follow the "see her once a week" rule like my life depends on it.

Going on a trip together is something I'd only do after 6 months of drama-free MLTR dating and even then I'd keep it to 4 days max or so for the first time.

But hey, I understand the need for activities like this, and if you want to cheat the rules then you should know the risk of stuff like this happening. I've been tempted a lot of times myself, because I too feel the need for "romantic" stuff like this and sharing experiences with girls beyond fucking and drinking wine.

You've learned a lot of valuable lessons on this trip so look at it that way. It's the cost of learning things through experience. I feel like most people at some point break the "relationship rules" and learn the hard way (I did too.)

 

[Brother_Tucker]

100%. I must admit, after I got over the initial 'Am I a bad person for doing this?' Beta male thought process, it felt pretty good to stop her dead in her tracks like I did with leaving and blocking her on everything.

So there is this gross misconception that any beta behavior is a bad thing. Alpha and Beta traits are both necessary for successful relationships long term. Too much Beta is a relationship killer, on the flip side too much Alpha dives the girl insane and pushes her away to a nice guy because she cant handle the anxiety these traits cause in the long term. My cousin is what the pilled space would call a giga chad in terms of looks and success with dating. He is probably the most Alpha person you could meet and he portrays the illusion of the life style that every guy who couldn't get sex wants. His relationships are always difficult and always end with the girl getting so anxious that he could replace her and move on that she ends it first and then moves on to date a nice guy... Only to cheat on that nice guy for being boring with my cousin later down the line to start the cycle again. To some this would sound like the dream, but I can see it wears on him when he does care about the girl and he cant keep them. The lack of Beta Traits hinder his retention. Beta is about supplying comfort and the girl trusting that you will be there when she needs you. It's a Ying and Yang and most guys can only do one side. If you understand both sides, incredible relationships and retention are easy while feeling confident enough to not put up with crap you don't want. Rian Stone, part of the married redpill is probably one of the best relationship content creators in the space and he covers this in great detail. To summarize his thoughts: Alpha makes her wet, Beta Makes her feel safe. If you can do both, you come across as gold dust. Add that in with style and being in shape, you're a luxury product the girl will want to show off to everyone while being feminine. She will enjoy trying to make you happy because she couldn't live it down being the girl who her friends eventually says "you let that guy get away??" while they stalk your socials.

You have to put yourself first and if she earns it, you supply the comfort as and when its needed. "Cuddles aint free" Rian Stone

Everything was booked late (room etc.) and flights have skyrocketed due to the fuel crisis. I did spend a fair bit on meals and gifts whilst I was there too, so this could go someway toward explaining it, but I should've planned better and shopped around - this was too much to spend so I'll learn from this for next time. I reckon I could do South America for a hell of a lot cheaper and there'll be more receptive and feminine women there too. This is something I've been considering doing for a while.

I think for you, maybe try a trip somewhere closer alone first and seeing if you can enjoy it. South America is a long flight and maybe not a good first destination if you want to solo travel. Especially if you don't speak the language. Maybe even consider Greece first, somewhere fun where you can meet people but not the other side of the world while you're building confidence.

I had a bit of a mental breakdown about 6 months ago (various family and work related issues) and I was off sick from work for 4 months (signed off by a doctor), so this duty manager job I'm doing at the minute is to get me back into work. It's not too taxing and the pay is okay, but I do want a bit more. However, I'm still on antidepressants and I'm not 100% there yet, but I'm hoping to stick this out a bit to put some cash in my back pocket and continue to work on managing my mental health. Recently graduated, so once I'm more evened out, it'll be next on the list to get a decent, better paying job or I'll look at getting a higher-paying role with this company. Work in progress.

Keep on top of it and make sure this isn't a tomorrow never comes scenario.

Felt like I was finally manning up and found my balls when I did this. Found a side of me that I wasn't quite sure I had. You and the other guys who commented were a real big help - big thanks to @AskTheDom so thank you for this.

You just needed a push, you put yourself first which shows how far you have come from your early posts.

Honestly, I think it just pissed me off at the time that I was having a rough time with this chick and I was seeing other people having smooth sailing with the girls they were dating. I do sometimes feel I'm missing out, but I wouldn't get into a relationship again because I like seeing other people and I don't feel like I'm at the level that Andy and some of the other elite guys are at where they are in the very good position that they can write their own ticket and be in a relationship, but sleep with other girls non-monogamously. That would be something I'd consider for the future.

There's no need to feel jealous. If you consider the stuff I wrote above, you will find that this gets easier every time you make a mistake or enforce a boundary.

This was a very hard, but very important lesson for me to learn. Yeah she found my antidepressants and asked. Me thinking I'd known her for 5 years and could trust her, or rather known 'of her' as you put it which I'm seeing as the truth now, I just told her like a dumbass. Haven't really got any guy friends, so this is something I need to work on. Haven't got any friends full stop really, so yeah I should probably look at addressing this. Totally agree with this now as I read some Red Pill stuff on it which sadly the Red Pill gets it right on this one I believe.

I wouldn't hold this one against you. It's not something I think you can learn until it happens to you. We all have this kind of story, only most guys cant look back to the part where they unloaded their emotional burden on their girl and link the part where desire started to fizzle. In a weird way those warm fuzzy moments you have with a girl where she opens up and feels closer to you are for her. It was a hard realization that it doesn't work both ways. I think we all wish it did but part of the process is knowing those moments are for her. You can feel the moments with her, but she will never be able to mirror that. That may sound really dark, but the truth is you need to find comfort in knowing what she can do for you in her feminine energy that makes your life easier. Men and women are different, she cant act like a man any more than you can act like a women and both not find it jarring.

She added nothing to my life and I'm glad I cut her out. I'm focusing on myself now for a little while, but I'm back on Tinder so I'm not letting it kick me down too much. Kinda seeing it as her 'winning' if I don't get back into the dating straight away. Seeing it as a nice, big 'Fuck you' to her every time I swipe on a better quality girl.

She only wins if you decide she does. You put yourself first and took responsibility for the situation, there's no world in which you don't win when you do this.

Thanks again for all your help - much appreciated that you took the time. Every time have the back and forth, I feel like I come away more educated and a lot wiser about dating, women and life in general.

Spider 🕷

Some day it will be you helping someone else, just pay it forward when you have a chance.

 

[AskTheDom]

Some day it will be you helping someo

Again, I'd like jsut to chime in just to say how i subscribe all the above and especially this quote. I think me and Brother_Tucker had our fair time of wild rodeos in life as we are no longer in our 20's, and I was lucky I had positive masculine models to look for for the majority of my teens, nonetheless I had to slam my face against the wall couple of times to get it in my skull, so anytime I can help someone that works hard to walk the path, I'm happy to do so because I hope in 20 years, Spider Jerusalem you'll be me showing the right way to another youngster while I'll be probably getting my diaper changed or enjoying my last years in a carribean island

 

[Spider Jerusalem]

Hey man, I just read what happened with your vacation. I can only sympathize with you as I've been through similar shit with an ex. I wish I had ditched her like you did but I was too much of a nice guy to resist her gaslighting and didn't have the balls to just cut my losses and walk away. It ended up costing me a whole lot more when I finally ended things with her after wasting a ton of money/time/energy on trying to "fix things".

Like said above, don't beat yourself too much for the money/time/energy lost with that girl, take it simply as a lesson.

BTW, thanks for the laugh with your Fallout quests, that's actually a great idea.
These users said thanks:

Lord Rey

Thanks my man

I'm hoping to learn from it and not make the same mistake again so at least I can take that from it.

Good to see another Fallout fan on the forums - I'll keep posting them until I run out of ideas. Glad to see you got a laugh - I was snickering a little the whole time I was typing them up, particularly the 'Toxic Waste' one

Regards,

Spider

 

[Spider Jerusalem]

Stuff like this is exactly why I follow the "see her once a week" rule like my life depends on it.

Going on a trip together is something I'd only do after 6 months of drama-free MLTR dating and even then I'd keep it to 4 days max or so for the first time.

But hey, I understand the need for activities like this, and if you want to cheat the rules then you should know the risk of stuff like this happening. I've been tempted a lot of times myself, because I too feel the need for "romantic" stuff like this and sharing experiences with girls beyond fucking and drinking wine.

You've learned a lot of valuable lessons on this trip so look at it that way. It's the cost of learning things through experience. I feel like most people at some point break the "relationship rules" and learn the hard way (I did too.)

Holden

Yeah man I rolled the dice on it and took the risk when I tried to cheat the rules like you say and unfortunately, it didn't pay off

I am now trying to take some responsibility for it and recognise my part in my own downfall so I can take the L, swallow my ego and stop it from happening again in the future

Seeing it as the 'cost of doing business!'

Thanks for dropping in and giving me your perspective - it's helping me see how to navigate this kinda thing a hell of a lot better in the future

Spider

 

[Spider Jerusalem]

Again, I'd like jsut to chime in just to say how i subscribe all the above and especially this quote. I think me and @Brother_Tucker had our fair time of wild rodeos in life as we are no longer in our 20's, and I was lucky I had positive masculine models to look for for the majority of my teens, nonetheless I had to slam my face against the wall couple of times to get it in my skull, so anytime I can help someone that works hard to walk the path, I'm happy to do so because I hope in 20 years, @Spider Jerusalem you'll be me showing the right way to another youngster while I'll be probably getting my diaper changed or enjoying my last years in a carribean island

AskTheDom

Thanks mate I appreciate the support. I never had the positive male role models in my life unfortunately, but I'm finding plenty on the forums such as yourself and the guys

aha if at that point I know any, be happy to send em' your way

Spider

 

[Spider Jerusalem]

Day 304: 09/08/2022

New Quest Sunshine Boogie

I've been going to bed at 21:00 Hrs for the past few days and waking up at 05:00 Hrs

This means I've completed another one of my Quests

Details for this one below:

Sunshine Boogie


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It's time to start doing the Sunshine Boogie! Use your Sunrise Alarm to get your well-rested bonus, reap the benefits of maximum daylight and the productivity early rising brings!

Reset your sleep pattern to 21:00 Hrs-05:00 Hrs to get a solid 8 Hours of sleep a night

Reward:

Advance to the next level and grab yourself a new phone case as a reward! It'll probably come in handy for when you drop a dumbbell on it at the gym!

- 100 xp
- Phone Case





Picked myself up a new phone case. It's something small, but I needed a new one and it's kinda nice to feel a sense of 'achievement' when I put the work in and then give myself the permission to buy something as I've earned it

Also a quick shoutout to @Colgate for the idea of linking the posts to the completed quests in my signature - awesome idea! I'll get to work on this straight away

I will keep going to bed at 21:00 and Getting up at 05:00 Hrs as I'm finding this is really increasing my productivity

I'm still in the phase where I need to get used to the early wake ups, but I think this will get easier and come in time

Been pretty productive on some of my other goals as well - financial and fitness, but I'll post about these as separate quests over the next few days

Thanks for Reading

Spider 🕷

 

[Spider Jerusalem]

Day 305: 10/08/2022

New Quest Dangerous, but Disciplined (Jiu-Jitsu)

Yesterday I ticked something off my to-do list that I've been meaning to do for a while

I rang up a local Jiu-Jitsu club and booked myself in for my first session tonight

I wrote about this a little on my log, but to give a brief summary, the last time I did Jiu-Jitsu, I had a panic attack as I was fearful of catching COVID and spreading it to my parents (both highly vulnerable) and I ended up leaving that particular gym and didn't return

This was an Epic Fail on my part and one hell of a low point that I was beating myself up about for a good few months after

I've found a different Gym that's local and I set myself a new Quest relating to this

See below for Quest Details:

Dangerous, but Disciplined


View attachment 1


It's a dangerous world out there in the Wasteland

The key to survival is to become dangerous yourself, but also disciplined.

It's time to take your first step into learning how to handle yourself and stop life beating you down! Contact A Jiu-Jitsu Gym and go for your first session

You're gonna suck at it and you're gonna get your ass kicked, but give yourself permission to suck and begin your journey into becoming someone who can handle any morons who try and do you harm!

Reward:

Advance to the next level and get some some pre-workout to have as a little pick-me-up for when you start training!





- 100xp
- Pre-Workout

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Cherry Icee is one of my favourite flavours and this stuff tastes awesome

I’ve had it before and it’s usually a little pricey, but I got this for 12 bucks at work down from 30 as it’s gone onto clearance (Plus staff discount)

Thought it would make an appropriate reward considering

Gonna give a shoutout to Adam in this post as we have both had the back and forth regarding Jiu-Jitsu and he was a big help in me making my mind up that I actually want to go back to training after my panic attack

I made the decision a few weeks ago, and he was very encouraging and helpful

Thank you for this - I am very grateful to you

My folks have both had COVID now as well as myself (Dad caught it at work) so I'm a bit more comfortable with being more active and going out

Just think it's time to stop Fucking around and go out and get it!

Details for the Gym are as follows:

It's 75 Bucks a month and there's 5 sessions on a week which I can attend with my work schedule being how it is now 🗓

- Monday - Thursday 19:00-20:15 P.M
- Saturday - 11:15-12:15 A.M

It's also very local - think a 20 minute walk from my house and 30 from where I work for the evening sessions 🗺

I'll drop a post on tomorrow and let you all know how it goes along with a new quest

Thanks for Reading

Spider 🕷

 

[Spider Jerusalem]

Hell yeah man! Jiu-jitsu is a lot of fun, plus a great workout and good way to meet people. I hope you love this gym. Yes, you'll definitely get your butt kicked a lot at first but if people know you're new they probably won't smash you and will let you practice some of the stuff you're learning. I've generally found BJJ people to be nice and welcoming to newcomers. Hope it goes well.

Adam

Thanks mate

It went pretty well last night - was one hell of a workout I'll say that much! Everybody was pretty sound and the head trainer seems very enthusiastic and passionate about the sport, almost to a point it was a little bit cringey - he was going on about how he'd 'die for us on the mats...' and he drew like a map of a road and was asking us about which was more important, the Journey or the Destination and he was saying how it's who we actually travel with that matters.

I'd heard that this particular club was a bit 'cultish' from a guy I knew who left, but despite it being a bit cringey, it's nice to see someone be passionate about something. I haven't really felt passionate about anything in years, so maybe this is why it seems 'cringey' to me Idk.

I'm gonna sign up properly and try to go a few times a week as I did enjoy it.

On a side note it'll be nice to do something with my evenings - lately I'm just going to work and going home which isn't good, man.

Thanks again for the support

Spider

 

[Spider Jerusalem]

Day 306: 12/08/2022

BJJ Report + New Quest A Fistful of Bottle Caps!

BJJ Report

Went to Jiu-Jitsu last night for my first session

Anxiety was through the Fucking roof, but I said 'nah, Fuck this I'm going' and went along which was a really good experience

I still got up at 5 this morning despite being absolutely crashed from it, so I’m seeing it as a victory

It was good to actually do something with my evening. Lately I'm just literally going to work and going home

Doctors and Therapists I saw when I had my breakdown told me to do a couple of things to help with managing my mental health:

- Plenty Exercise
- Drink Plenty of Water
- Get some Hobbies

With Jiu-Jitsu, I'm kinda doing all of these. Pretty much blows your health anxiety out of the water when you can cope with strenous cardio exercise for 1 hour and 15 minutes in 35 degree heat

I'm gonna sign up properly on Monday make the commitment and start training regularly

New Quest A Fistful of Bottle Caps!

I managed to recoup some of my losses from the disastrous Amsterdam trip last week Did this by converting my Euros back into GBP and putting any spare notes I had into the bank

I thought I'd make a start on my financial goals as I had this spare money lying around and I made and completed a new quest relating to it today

A Fistful of Bottle Caps!


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Imagine a nice apartment with everything you want in it complete with a stripper pole! Looking good? Well it's time to start saving up those bottlecaps!

Kick-start the process by putting a Fistful of Dollars (£500.00) into your savings account!

Reward:

Advance to the next level and buy yourself a rack of Tinder Boosts as a reward! ️

- 100xp
- 10 Tinder Boosts ️





Tinder has recently shot up their prices for boosts, Superlikes etc. and have been getting super, super stingy lately - you used to get 5 Superlikes a Day, but this has now been scrapped and you only get 5 a week

I believe the price for Tinder Gold has also shot up too in my country, although this is something I'll need to check on I have another Quest lined up where I'll be looking at my finances and expenditures each month, but I'll post about this in due course

It's still cheaper to buy them through the web rather than the phone app, but it's still a bit of a shitty thing of them to do

Particularly with times being so tough - getting laid is one of the few comforts in life we have that doesn't (or shouldn't! rather) really cost society any money during hard economic times

In light of this, I thought it would be a good idea considering that since I'm saving a lot of money by putting it into my savings account (500 Bucks) I could allow myself to splash out and get myself a rack of boosts (45 Bucks) ️

On a side note, the American Girl last week gave me about 45 bucks for a taxi I booked. I'd like to think that this money is the money that went onto buying the Tinder Boosts - a nice little 'Fuck You' to her

These boosts will come/have come in handy as I used one recently with some success, but this is relating to another quest which I'll post about tomorrow - this might be the first quest that I end up failing (not through any fault of my own) but more on that one tomorrow!

Thanks for reading

Spider 🕷

 

[Spider Jerusalem]

Day 307: 13/08/2022

Ghosted + New Quest High Times

Got Ghosted today after my confirmation text got completely blanked Also started and completed a new quest

Ghosted

Well, I was supposed to have a date today with a chick I got talking to on Tinder but she quite literally ghosted on me after I sent the confirmation text yesterday

Cute redhead. Pity.

Met her on Tinder and got her number in the first few messages and pitched a date today in the afternoon which she seemed all up for at the time ️ We didn't talk much after arranging the date which is kinda how I play it - I want to meet the girl instead of playing ping-pong texting back and forth all the time

Sent a confirmation text yesterday as I hadn't heard from her in a couple days and asked her if we're still good for today

No reply

Oh well

Just chalking it up to one of them things. I'm seeing that I'm at least trying to date as a success especially after last week: I feel it would be very easy for me to crawl back into some form of woman-hating 'Red-Pill Rage' mindset and attitude, but I'm trying to sack that bullshit off and move on to better with girls who actually deserve my time and effort and give back as much as I put in

It is what it is 🕊

I’ll keep swiping and trying as I’m determined to go on a date and get laid with a decent girl which is another of my quests

New Quest High Times

Came up with and completed a new Quest today Focused on confronting some of my poor habits and vices and I'm making a serious effort to give them all up

Got the idea from the 'Wang Dang Atomic No-Fap Fandango!' Quest where I'm giving up the fapping 🗓 Wondered what else I can put my mind to and give up, so came up with the 'High Times ' Quest

See below for more details:

High Times


View attachment 1


It's time to start purifying your body!

Years of caffeine, vaping and sugar means giving these vices up won't be easy, but then again, nothing worth doing in life usually is!

From here on out, only drink water and limit yourself to 1 coffee a day

Let the High Times End!

Reward:

Advance to the next level and stay hydrated during long work hours, the gym and Jiu-Jitsu with a stack of SaltStick pills and a new decent water bottle!

- 100xp
- SaltStick Pills
- Water Bottle





Technically, I started this a couple of days ago but thought I'd put it on now as I've done it for a good few days now so feel it's worthy enough to post about Was pretty sure I'd crack and end up drinking a can of coke or something, but so far so good

I've literally only drank 1 coffee a day ️ water sugar-free cordial and Kombucha which is a sparkling no sugar gut bacteria drink which helps your stomach (got a few cans free from work due to the hot weather) over the past 4 days

Grabbed myself a new water bottle and because I'm getting back into exercising, I grabbed some SaltStick Pills which help replenish electrolytes when you work out/sweat Thought this would be appropriate considering I'm drinking more water now with the exercise I'm doing

Any other business

- Confirmed my membership with the Jiu-Jitsu club. Going to sign all the paperwork Monday and start training from there

- Picked up some flip-flops. Need them for the BJJ mats R.E. the above

- Had a driving refresher. Gonna try pick this up to make getting to the Gym in the mornings easier

That's it for today

Glad I'm keeping things moving

Thanks for reading

Spider 🕷

 

[Spider Jerusalem]

Day 308: 1408/2022

New Quest Tough Times and Dating Subscription Break

Got work again today, so haven’t really got much time to do a lot so I'm afraid it's gonna be a boring 'finances' post today as I got up early specifically to do this Although this is very important to help out my financial situation:

I sat down and examined my monthly expenditures and I've had a look where I can save money Made a quest out of it too

Tough Times





Economy's in the toilet wages are down costs are up and it's not gonna get better anytime soon...

Only one thing for it: Time to tighten your belt!

Look at your monthly expenditures and cut down what you can to keep the costs low!

Reward:

Advance to the next level and pick yourself up a new bookmark - something cheap, but something that will come in handy when you start reading again!

- 100xp
- Bookmark


View attachment 1


Picked this bookmark up the other day
It’s Gustav Klimt's ‘Lady with a Fan’ (1918).

I just really liked the design, so thought I’d use it as a Quest reward

So in light of this quest, I've managed to cancel the following subscriptions today:

- YouTube Premium £11.99
- Xbox Live £5.99
- Patreon £4.00
- Tinder Gold £21.99
- Other Dating Sites £11.99

In total, this will save me £56 (£55.96) Might not seem like much, but over 6 Months, that's £335.76 (407.28 USD)

If any of you guys are focusing on financial goals or just in general, I'd check and see what monthly subscriptions you're actually paying out for

It amazes me some of the bullshit I and other people have signed up for and then forgotten about

Also got a few rules I'm going to stick to to help me save:

- No takeaways
- No buying food whilst working
- Packed Lunches
- Shop around
- Take all available overtime
- Have a savings pot for any change/notes I come home with
- Local Dates ONLY
- No Dinners/Meals/Drinks etc. Coffee Dates ONLY

Managed to cut my monthly expenditures down to the following:

- Gym - £21.95
- PT Sessions - £80.00
- Jiu-Jitsu - £75.00
- Phone bill - £24.00
- Medication - £9.35
- Rent - £200

Total: £410.30

Whatever is left out of this from my monthly wages, I will invest it in the following areas:

- Jiu-Jitsu fees
- Gym fees (including P.T Sessions)
- Food and Nutrition
- Life Savings
- Quest Rewards

The Gym and Jiu-Jitsu are fixed fees

I will make a weekly nutrition budget for bulking. Staff discount at work on supplements/gainer products will help a lot with this

I will also have some money aside to spend on Quest Rewards to keep me motivated throughout the next few months

A large chunk will go into my savings account ready for when the economy picks up again. £500-£1000 Overtime depending

Now the cost of living is rising to a point where the country and most of the world is in crisis, this is something that needed to be done as I can see myself having a lot less money in my future unless I take measures such as this whilst the world goes through this bullshit s a result of COVID Lockdowns

I want to be in a financially stable position once the country comes out of this thing onto the other side and I hope to be in such a position that I can take advantage of the economic recovery

Time will tell on this one though

Dating Subscription Break

You will notice above that I have cancelled Tinder and not included 'Dating' as a focus area in my monthly expenditures

This is because I've decided to knock the paid subscriptions to the dating sites on the head for a bit, particularly Tinder

It’s too much money which is the main reason. I just don't feel like shelling out £22.00 for Tinder Gold and an extra £44 on top for a rack of Boosts every month when I'm getting ghosted on a lot or drama

I can think of many better uses for £66.00 Cash each month. That’s pretty much my Jiu-Jitsu fees covered well, £9 shy as my training fees are £75.00

I have 9-10 Boosts banked as a recent quest reward and I'll keep hold of them for when I'm ready to pay for Gold etc. again ️

I'm having okay luck on Bumble and Hinge without the paid subscriptions, although I appreciate Tinder is definitely a Pay to Win Platform if you're a man

I also fancy a break from it to be honest. After last week's shenanigans and jolly japes in Amsterdam where I almost became a domestic violence victim and getting ghosted on yesterday I'm not really in the mood for paying for the dating sites

Just seeing it as an expenditure I do not wish to pay for at this stage

I saw on Holden's log how he has taken recent events as a sign to take a step back and have a bit of a break from Tinder. I'm also thinking this is something I could do, but with the paid subscription aspect

Just to be clear, I am not giving up the dating *Completely*, It's just the actual paid monthly subscription to Tinder and any other sites

My plan is to still use Bumble and Hinge to chat and arrange dates once a week or once every 2 weeks so I'm not completely out of the game 🕹

I'm also working pretty much full-time at the minute, so my schedule is quite tight lately for dating

I'll work on the Jiu-Jitsu and the Gym for maybe 6 months or so and try to improve my looks to attract the better quality women, take some better photos and then start the paid subscriptions up again

Hopefully I'll get less bullshit and hassle because I'll look a lot better

Any Other Business

- Struggled to get out of bed this morning I am chalking this up to the heat however as we're going through another heatwave here currently, I still got out of bed early (05:30) but I lay there fighting with myself for a good half hour trying not to drop back off

- Almost broke my No-Fap streak yesterday. Think it's the woman troubles I'm having lately. Need to be more disciplined, but I'm still in the game 🕹

Thanks for Reading

Spider 🕷

 

[Spider Jerusalem]

Day 309: 15/08/2022

New Quest Goin' into Overtime! + Jiu Jitsu 2

I stated on my log recently that I was looking to sign up for any Overtime going at work as part of my financial plans

Well, today I spoke to my boss and I'm now signed up

Thought it would make a good quest so here we go:

Goin' into Overtime!


View attachment 1


You were off sick from work for 4 months, but now you've come back with a vengeance!

It's time to knuckle down and put the graft in

Sign up for any available Overtime going at work and watch your bank account flourish at the end of each month!

Reward:

Advance to the next level and put an extra £200 into your savings!

- 100xp
- £200 into savings





I had £200 in my wallet as I did some work for someone recently cash in hand

I was going to purchase something this week with it, but I decided against it due to my new money-saving plans

Thought as a quest reward I'd just put it straight into my savings Overtime pay and savings go hand in hand, so felt pretty appropriate!

I am now doing Overtime until the 29th of September 🗓

I am going to be working an extra day or 2 a week which will put an extra £80-160 in my back pocket

I normally do 4 Days on 3 Days off for my normal shift pattern 🗓

Gonna be a hard graft the next month and half, but I'll be glad to get the money Be able to get my savings up and get myself some decent quest rewards too

If you put the work in, why shouldn’t you reward yourself?

Jiu Jitsu 2

Got my second Jiu-Jitsu session today as well

Today is where I properly sign up and buy my Gi and rash guard etc.

Not as anxious as I was for my first session, but it's still there a bit. Hopefully it fades away in time ⏱

Feels good to get back into something. I'm going to try and go for the 5 sessions that are on this week if I can

Think that would make a good Quest if I can do a full week of sessions

Next steps are Diet and Gym. New Quests on these coming soon

Gonna leave it there for today as it's quite a busy one for me 🖇

Working 08:00-18:00 and then I'll be off to Jiu-Jitsu for 19:00-20:15

Probably roll in the door and get home for about 20:45 ️

Long Day!

Thanks for reading

Spider 🕷

 

[Spider Jerusalem]

Day 310: 16/08/2022

New Quest The Power of the Paperbacks + Jiu Jitsu 3

Decided I want to start reading again so I've set myself a quest in relation to this I have a habit of starting a book and then not finishing it I'm also heading for my 3rd training session tonight with Jiu-Jitsu There's 2 more tomorrow night and Thursday, then a morning session on Saturday. I'm going to try and do all 3 this week and take the leap

New Quest The Power of the Paperbacks

I want to get back into reading again so came up with this Quest

The Power of the Paperbacks







It's time to start filling your head with knowledge again!

The ancient secrets of the paperbacks are waiting to be revealed and their valuable knowledge put to good use in the wasteland!

Start reading for 20 minutes a day for 1 week and pick yourself up a new Manga book as a reward once complete!

Reward:

Once complete, advance to the next level and pick yourself up a new Manga!

- 100xp
- Fist of the North Star Volume 1

Got a week to complete this, so no Quest Reward for now as I want to get into reading regularly I'll start off with the 20 Minutes a day for a week and that'll be this one completed and a good habit hopefully formed I want to try a new Manga whilst waiting for Berserk to release the new volumes in between, so thought I'd try Fist of the North Star.

Jiu Jitsu 3 (Commitment)

Well, I've officially bit the bullet and committed financially to Jiu-Jitsu

I paid my upfront fees last night for my Uniform Training Gi, Rash Guard, Insurance and Sessions for the rest of this month In total, this has cost me £165 Up Front. From after that, it'll be £75 per month and I'm now committed for 3 months before I can give a month's notice to cancel if I want to leave

Want to again tag Adam in this part of my post as he has been instrumental to me finding my balls and actually going back to training

Thanks for this mate - I'm now financially committed and have made a promise to myself to get back into it I'm going to set myself a long-term Quest regarding this once I've had a think and come up with a realistic and tangible target

There's 3 more sessions on this week plus morning sessions I can't do the weekday morning ones due to work commitments, but tonight, tomorrow and Thursday night I can do those sessions and the Saturday morning one as it's my Saturday off Gonna try go to all 5 this week to take myself seriously 🗓

I'll keep any developments on this updated on my log

Thanks for reading

Spider 🕷

 

[Spider Jerusalem]

Day 311: 17/08/2022

Went to Jiu Jitsu again last night Good time on the mats, but definitely getting my ass kicked a lot! All part of the process. Also realising I need to take a serious look at my diet 🍽

Gave me an idea for a new Quest to complete

New Quest Dangerous but Disciplined Pt. 2 + Diet 🍽

Thought I'd try throw in some consistency with my Jiu-Jitsu attendance 🗓

This week's quest will be a test for me. I am going to try to attend every session that I can this week which is 5 in total



I've already done Monday and Tuesday which was last night's session I now have 2 more in the week tonight and tomorrow and then a Saturday Morning session which takes us up to the 5

Bit of a challenge for me, but my 365 Project has definitely drilled into me the positive effects of consistency, so hopefully I'll be ready to rock on this one

2 Down 3 to go

I'll post on here when completed

As a reward, I'll buy myself another Rash Guard It'll come in handy as I need to wear them underneath my training uniform Gi

Reward:

- 100 xp
- BJJ Rash Guard

Diet 🍽

Now I'm doing lots of cardio with Jiu-Jitsu and the fact I'm looking at going back to the Gym too means I need to start looking at my diet 🍽

What little weight I do have is going to disappear very quickly and leave me looking even more thinner and unhealthier than I already do now

I have 2 Days off Friday and Saturday 🗓where I am going to do a food shop and start looking at eating properly

There are also a few other things I need to sort out house wise in order to get myself together ready to go back to the Gym etc. and hit the ground running next week but I'll post about this on Friday

It's going to be a productive 2 Days either way

Thanks for reading

Spider 🕷

 

[Spider Jerusalem]

Day 312: 18/08/2022

General Update

Got quite a few ongoing Quests at the minute, so I thought I'd do a quick update on where I'm at with them and just how life is going in general

High Times

Still off the Coca Cola, Vaping etc. and only having 1 coffee a day every morning. Going well. Had 2 fizzy drinks yesterday from work, but these are no sugar 'Green' drinks as I work in a Health Food Shop, so I'm not counting these as a fail

Wang Dang Atomic No-Fap Fandango!

Now on Day 11/90 🗓

Had the occasional struggles and urges, but still in the game. Finding I have more energy. Sex drive has lulled which is kinda a good thing as I'm off the dating for a bit so don't want to let my hormones do the thinking and acting for me

Might get the mind map I did out last time I got this far and start colouring it in again, as I think I got to Day 11 with that. I'll check later

Dangerous but Disciplined Pt. 2

Did session 3/5 last night and Session 4/5 is tonight. Making good progress on this one. Hope to go to the Saturday morning session to make it 5/5

Will likely come up with a part 3 to this where I do the same next week and try and go to the 5 sessions 2 weeks running

I need a bit of a clause in this where the only time I can bail on this Quest is if there is illness, injury or a an unforeseen event that occurs in my life

The Power of the Paperbacks

Day 3/7 of Reading for 20 minutes. Enjoying making good use of my free time in the mornings instead of dicking around on YouTube

Sunshine Boogie

Since I set this Quest on 09/08/2022, I have got up at 05:00 Hrs every day. Good progress on this and my body is pretty much used to it now

Toxic Waste!

Glad to have cleaned house. No regrets on this at all. Valuable lesson learned. Will not be making this mistake again and will definitely carefully consider who I let into my life from this point onwards

Goin' into Overtime!

Still doing the 5/6 Days a week and I'm signed up until the end of next month. I am looking forward to going back onto 4 Days on and 3 Off purely as I'll have more free time to work on myself - Jiu-Jitsu, the Gym etc.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

How my Life is currently looking:

05:00 Hrs - Wake Up
05:30 Hrs - Coffee and Post on KYIL Forum
06:00 Hrs - Shower
06:30 Hrs - Read for 20 Minutes
07:00 Hrs - Get ready for work
08:00 Hrs - Leave for Work
09:00 Hrs - Start Work
18:00 Hrs - Finish Work
19:00 Hrs - Jiu-Jitsu
21:00 Hrs - Home. Eat, Shower
22:00 Hrs - Sleep

How I want my life to look:

05:00 Hrs - Wake Up, Coffee, Eat
05:30 Hrs - Leave for Gym
06:00 Hrs - Work Out
07:00 Hrs - Shower and get changed at Gym
08:00 Hrs - Leave for Work
09:00 Hrs - Work
18:00 Hrs - Finish Work
19:00 Hrs - Jiu-Jitsu
20:30 Hrs - Home. Eat, Shower
21:30 Hrs - Sleep

Finding that I need more sleep these past few days as I'm feeling pretty burnt out - going straight to Jiu-Jitsu from work is probably a big part of this. I'm going to have to try to address this going forward and rethink my wake-up time. Not much I can do about what time I go home and to bed as the sessions finish at 20:15 Hrs Monday - Thursday and it's travelling time home from there. Could try driving instead of walking

I've got 2 Days off after today, so this schedule is something I'll look at tweaking and working on

Thanks for reading

Spider 🕷

 

[Spider Jerusalem]

Day 313: 19/08/2022

New Quest: Trouble on the Homefront! + BJJ MASSIVE ACHIEVEMENT

Got a few things at home that need sorting which have been bugging me during my week at work which I'm going to sort the next 2 Days as I'm off work until Sunday

I've been heading to Jiu-Jitsu every night straight after work and rolling in the door about 21:00 Hrs, so everything in the house task wise has just kinda piled up and I haven't had much time to throw anything into it

Now I've got the 2 Days off, this is something I can look into and address what I need to address before I move into next week whilst I'm in a better position. Thought it would make a good quest to list the tasks and get them completed

Trouble on the Homefront!





You've been away from home out in the Wasteland for a little while and things at home have descended into chaos whilst you've been away!

Time to restore order and end the Trouble on the Homefront!

Complete the following tasks over the next 2 Days to get your house in order and get some organisation back into your life:

Friday

- Fully clean your room
- Conduct car maintenance (battery, tyres etc.)
- Wash and clean car
- Design diet plan
- Work's training
- Redesign weekly schedule

Saturday

- Food shop
- Pick up prescription meds
- Work's Training (Cont.).

Reward: Advance to the next level when complete and pick yourself up a tin of Silicon Shine!

- 100xp
- Silicon Shine

So the next 2 days I'm going to get my house in order - there's a bigger plan in play behind each task here:

- My room has just kinda piled up due to being at work then training every night this week - literally haven't had a free minute, so getting this done is a priority.

- Cleaning, washing and maintaining the car is something I'm going to do as I want to drive down to Jiu-Jitsu and the Gym to help save me time. Instead of getting home at 21:00 Hrs, I can get home for 20:30 Hrs after Jiu-Jitsu Training. This will give me more time to get to sleep earlier, eat etc. Will also save me about an hour's walk each day.

- Designing my diet plan. Been too tired all week to do this but now I'm training and looking at going back to the gym, I need to fuel my workouts else I'm just going to lose precious weight and burn myself out which I cannot afford to do.

- Work training. A bullshit job that needs doing. Oh well.

- Redesigning my weekly schedule is something I need to do. Long story short, I need more sleep. I've been running on about 6 hours each night which just isn't enough.

- Food shop is crucial as I'm Going to start my diet soon and can't do that without the actual meals.

- Picking up my prescription meds - pretty self-explanatory. Still on the antidepressants. I don't like taking them, but they are helping me out so I just gotta keep on with them. Med review with a doctor next month.

So that's the rationale behind the task list for today and tomorrow

Let's hope it helps me get my shit together and move forward stronger and in a much better position

BJJ MASSIVE ACHIEVEMENT

Went to Jiu-Jitsu last night which means I've done 4 sessions in a row

This is quite a big deal to me as I've gone from freaking out and having a panic attack then leaving on the first session at the last place I used to train at to getting up at 05:00 Hrs, putting in a full day's work and then going straight to training for an hour and a half

I don't compliment myself much, but I'm seeing this as a massive achievement and a nice big 'Fuck You' to my anxiety.

Got Jiu-Jitsu again tomorrow morning, which will be session 5/5 and the quest Dangerous but discipline Pt. 2 Complete

Any other business

- No-Fap Day 12 - my longest streak ever. Come close to breaking it a few times, but I'm still in the game

- Read again for 20 minutes today which takes us up to Day 4/7 on the 'Power of the Paperbacks' Quest

Any Other Business:

- Got an impromptu date with a cute redhead later. Don't know if anything will come of. This girl is easily a 7/10 which is relevant as it's part of a sex related-quest I might post about tomorrow if anything comes of the date.

Thanks for reading

Spider 🕷