Spider’s Progress Log 🕷 DAY 366: Continuation Log Link ⛓️

[Spider Jerusalem]

Day 17: 27/10/2021

Think I've recovered quite well from yesterday's downer after that bullshit job interview. I didn't get up early like I have been doing and slept in until 07:00 Hrs. Mind kept replaying things, so didn't sleep great last night. Not ideal, but it was still earlier than I have been getting up recently so I'm not too down about that. Will try again tomorrow to get up early :arrow_up:

Had a few good opportunities come my way today and was determined not to let yesterday get me down. Here's my progress update:

- Rang the interviewer from yesterday and told him I wouldn't be taking his bullshit job. The second interviewer answered who was the one who was more amicable than the other guy, so I didn't mention any of the reasons why or get my point across - no need to give flak to a guy who don't deserve it. I did ask for feedback and he said I did really well: Trying to see the positive side and I think there are definitely a few positives to take away from this including the good feedback as well as the experience as a whole.

- Read some more Berserk Manga to keep my mind occupied.

- Went for a walk for 30 minutes to get some sun and fresh air. Helped clear my head.

- Listened to Andy's podcast - episode #16: First guest John - Getting Laid, Making Friends. Interesting to listen to and got some good tips.

- I have re-joined the gym. This is something I've been Fucking around with and putting off. Been coming up with lots of excuses for not joining sooner, but I've finally decided to Give myself permission to suck and have a go at it.

I've got a workout app on my phone which is a P.T app where the trainer goes through the exercises and you input your reps etc.. As I'm out of work at the minute (but should be in work very soon) this only costs me 15 bucks a month, so is much better for me than paying an actual P.T. I think it's a good workaround and now I have no excuses for getting started. This is my main goal so it's about time I stopped Fucking around and got on with it. 'It's not the right time' but when is it ever? Updates to follow on this and I will use this log to keep myself accountable.

- I am going to head to the gym later tonight (as it's 24 hours) to get my bearings and check the place out for 10-15 minutes. It's been a while since I've been in and want to check out the layout and see if anything has changed. Good preparation for my first workout. Will post a photo on here later for accountability to show that I have done this.

- Got another job interview today which has helped me bounce back from yesterday. The interview is Friday and I'm not expecting to get it, but I'll still have a go. It's a good experience if nothing else like the shit interview yesterday. Plus the pay is okay and it would be a good starting job for my first employment after graduating with my Undergraduate degree. Updates on this tomorrow and I'll start prepping for it tomorrow too.

- Have been swiping on and off on Tinder and the other sites. Not much prospects at the minute. Kinky Daddy's girl has left me on read, so I'll probably pass on that. My tolerance for ghosts is quite low at the minute and if they can't be bothered to put the effort in, then I'm not playing chase no more. The girl I saw last Sunday and had fun with has been in contact and we've been texting on and off. Said she got a busy week, so haven't been bombarding. Don't wanna come across as desperate either. Hoping to see her again, but keeping my expectations low. Sure now that another chick will come along if this one doesn't play out. This abundance over scarcity mindset is working out well for me.

Think I've bounced back after yesterday. Got quite a bit done today which I'm quite happy with.

Gonna try and keep it going tomorrow and maintain the momentum.

Photos have been posted for accountability purposes.

Thanks for reading

Spider

 

[Spider Jerusalem]

Day 18: 28/10/2021

Fairly productive day today - managed to get a fair bit done which I'm quite happy with.

- Woke up late again at 07:00 Hrs :roll: I have now attempted to counteract this by placing my Alexa speaker the other side of my room so I have to physically get up and turn it off. Was gonna spend 40 bucks on a new alarm clock, but this will do the job and save me the money

- Listened to several of Andy's podcasts today whilst taking care of chores around the house - Episodes #19 and #20 regarding Andy and Imogen discussing about kids. This was interesting for me to listen to as I'm pretty adamant I don't want kids but it's good to hear a few more viewpoints on the matter. Also listened to episode #22: OMG Andy doesn't know everything. This was good to listen to and helped me realise that every situation is different and to take useful information from other sources as well. 🎙

- Watched Andy's latest YouTube video: 'You have 2 months left, you Fucking Pussy'. This was a really good video as in the past, I've had stupid obsessions with starting things like the Gym etc. 'Only on a Monday' or 'I'll start my bulking diet on the 1st of next month...'What a stupid mindset! Helped me realise just how glad I am that I stopped thinking this way.

- Read some more Bersek Manga.

- Did some interview prep for my job interview tomorrow.

- Ironed my clothes I brought back from Uni. One of those 1 hour jobs I'd been putting off and needed doing especially as I'm dating again now. Listened to one of Andy's podcasts whilst I did it and was quite therapeutic

- Bought a bullet vibrator. I'm looking at expanding my toy collection now that I've started dating again. May look at buying one item a month going forward in addition to what I've already got. Will take an 'inventory check' soon and post on here what I have

- Shot my shot with Kinky Daddy's Girl who I mentioned on some of my previous logs. Asked her for coffee, but she's left me on read for a couple hours. She's either flaked or she's gonna ghost. Shit happens, man

View attachment 9

- Have been briefly texting the girl I had my first lay with last week - on and off here and there maybe replying once a day so as not to come off as desperate. She says I've left her feeling really horny and needy after we met. Gonna try set up another meet with her, but I'm keeping my expectations low here as I find this helps me in case there's a disappointment. Pray for sunshine, prepare for rain.

- E-mailed the Jiu-Jitsu club I used to train at - hopefully gonna start training again soon as they get back to me. Part of me kept saying 'I'm not ready...' but I shut that noise down pretty quick and I know if I don't start training again very soon/now, then I probably won't for another couple of months which will be more wasted time. Andy's video I watched today has given me the kick to do this.

- Dug out my Jiu-Jitsu clothes ready for when I do go back to training.

- Bought a lunch bag for my bulking diet. I have a habit of not eating properly which I am going to try to break out of when I go back to the gym and start trying to bulk. Just something to keep my lunch in, but it's got big letters on it that say 'LUNCH BAG'. Idea behind this is that I'm sure there's some science I read a while back regarding leaving messages for yourself and how this can positively reinforce new behaviours: Me seeing big Fuck-off words that say 'LUNCH BAG' will probably send subconscious messages of 'I need to eat lunch...'.



- Did some gardening and lawnmowing etc. Just a little thing, but got me out in the fresh air and exercising my legs.

- Started No-Fap again - just reset the counter for this morning despite it being a day or two since to keep things simple. So far so good. Trying to get ahead of the curve in time for No-Nut November.

That's it for today. Quite productive and I'm fairly happy with what I've got done. Will try and keep this momentum going.

Photos have been posted for accountability purposes.

Thanks for reading

Spider

 

[Dewm]

Keep up all the hard work brother! Wish I had time for Jiu-Jitsu but I’m already spinning too many plates.

 

[Spider Jerusalem]

Day 19: 29/10/2021

Main event today was the job interview.

This was my second one of the week. If I could describe how it went in one word, it would be: 'Okay'. Like literally just 'Okay'. Not good, not bad just 'Okay'. This time around was an administration job. Surprised I got to even the interview stage as all the administration jobs want 'Minimum 1 year experience in a similar role' which is something I don't have - jobs I've done have had admin duties as part of them, so I think I'm shit outta luck on this one

Didn't help that I got sent absolutely ZERO in regards to help me prep like the last one, so it was totally on the fly and didn't have a Fucking clue what they'd ask :? . Don't think I got it to be honest, but I'm trying to remain positive and I'll say it was a good experience for me

I've also been quite productive today and got a fair few things done:

- Woke up at 7 again - wanted to sleep in so I'd be good for my interview, so I'm writing this one off as allowable

- Read some more Berserk Manga

- Did some last minute interview prep, although had no Fucking clue what exactly to prep for!

- Started putting 'no-bite' on my nails as I keep biting them - looks pretty shit e.g. for dates etc. so doing something about it

- Had the job interview

- Kinky Daddy's Girl hasn't replied - binned off and moved on. 2 days is a very poor response time. The old me would chase and Simp, but I'm past that bullshit now

- Listened to Andy's podcast episode #21: Last minute resistance and girls with boyfriends - made notes on this one as I kept getting last-minute resistance in the past. Will try some of these techniques out soon

With the podcasts, the episodes that I can learn and apply things to my life, I take notes on. Where Andy tells some of his stories or covers a topic that I feel doesn't apply to me/my journey, I still listen for the entertainment value.

- Went for a walk to decompress after the interview. Listened to Andy's podcasts whilst on the walk - episodes #23 and #25: The Craziest Story of my Life, parts 1 and 2. Fuck me, this was scary, entertaining and hilarious in all parts! As someone who has encountered Psycho Bitches From Hell it's good to know I'm not the only one. I'm guessing it just comes with the territory and eventually happens whilst playing the numbers game 🎙

- Bought an alarm clock. The Alexa trick hasn't been working, so I said 'Fuck it' and bought a cheap alarm clock. I can charge my phone on top of this clock wirelessly, so I now put my phone away from bed so I don't get tempted to waste time on it when I should be sleeping!

- Went and ate out with my brother - had a nice burger. 2 job interviews this week, so thought I'd reward myself and go along with him. Feel better after and it was more satisfying

- No-Fap: Day 2. Gonna try get to the end of No-Nut November. I'll do my best 🗓

That's it for today. Interview took up a big chunk, then I've just chilled and did a few bits here and there. Will try get up early and be productive tomorrow.

Photos have been posted for accountability purposes

Thanks for reading

Spider

 

[Spider Jerusalem]

Keep up all the hard work brother! Wish I had time for Jiu-Jitsu but I’m already spinning too many plates.

Dewm

Hey thanks man

It’s something I’ve had to come back to myself after a while due to various commitments and bullshit COVID Lockdowns as it’s something you need to give time to to see the results.

Thankfully I got a bit more time now to put into it

Regards,

Spider

 

[Spider Jerusalem]

Day 20: 30/10/2021

Day 20 of my 365 Project of posting on here. Feels good to hit another milestone on this. I feel that my journaling and writing skills will improve gradually. I think that I'm also finding out a lot about myself as time goes on. Never thought that half an hour of writing a day could be such a journey of self-discovery

- Didn't wake up early as I thought I'd set the alarm on my new clock but must've Fucked it up somehow! I'll try this again tomorrow

- Lay efforts: Nothing from Kinky Daddy's Girl - she's definitely getting binned off now 🗑 I'm not too pissed off as it has been pissing it down with rain all day and I would've got soaked on my way to the coffee shop, so looking at the positives here. Don't think I'll be going out much today 🌧

Have been swiping and chatting to a few prospects on Bumble, Hinge and Tinder etc. POF is absolutely dead though, so I only check this intermittently. Nothing of note as of yet, but will update this log when there is

Chatted to the girl I had my first lay with - gonna start calling her 'Vegan Vixen'. She's said she's still busy, but we chatted briefly the other night. A few interesting points from her:

* She said I Fucked her so hard, that I've actually Broken her Bed. Ironic thing is today my bed has actually broken - might hit her up in a couple of days and tell her it's Karma. A good conversation starter

View attachment 1

* She said that I should have a Bachelor's Degree in dirty talk - I've been lightly teasing, but not enough to get her off. Leaving her wanting more 🗯

* She asked if she could talk through some of the things going on in her life and get a little advice. I usually say no to this: I'm here to get laid, not be a Simp and deal with chicks problems. After listening to Andy's Podcast about encouraging girls, I said I'd listen to her as long as she didn't rant and moan for too long - Black Dragon's advice from the recent podcast I listened to is 20 seconds to state an issue. This girl is 5 years younger than me and I was able to reassure her and talk some things through. I basically told her to focus on the shit that she can control and to not worry about what she can't. Sent her this Gif:



Shoutout to any Cowboy Bebop fans She said she feels a lot happier after talking things through with me

* Haven't talked to her for a couple days now - not chasing and Simping which seems to be working as she text me first the other night which usually doesn't happen!

- Listened to another of Andy's Podcasts - Episode #24: Guest Episode with Sigma. Very encouraging to see the progress that Sigma has made and inspiring to see how he's been improving himself SIGMA_1234. Considering this was about a year ago this was recorded, he must have come even further along now with his self-improvement journey 🎙

- Applied for 2 more jobs - not expecting to get the one I had the interview for yesterday, so I'm going to keep on applying. I'm kind of having the same attitude towards dating with job applications: It's a 'numbers game'. I keep going with chicks eventually I'll get laid (like last week). It's currently the weekend, so probably won't hear anything back until early next week (Monday at the earliest) so looks like I'm playing the waiting game for the time being. I'm guessing the same principles apply here and if I keep going, I'll eventually get a job which I can hopefully turn into a career or use as a stepping stone into a career. Good mindset to have

- Have applied the no-bite to my nails. Think I'm on day 3 of not biting my nails. They still look a bit of a state, but I haven't got any pain in them as the swelling has gone down. I've been biting them for 15 plus years ever since I was a kid - I think this has been a coping mechanism due to my anxiety. I've started to chew gum now instead as well as applying the no-bite liquid twice a day.

- Have got the weighing scales out and made a weight tracker on my Iphone notes app. As part of my bulking plan, I'm gonna need to actually write down my weight (duh!) so thought I'd set a weighing schedule. I'm looking at weighing myself every 2 weeks to start with starting tomorrow so I can keep track. I'll also make a note of my weight on here so I can look at my progress

- No-Fap - I'm on Day 3 and feeling quite positive. Gonna keep going with this and try to get to the end of No-Nut November. I think once I overcome that hurdle, It'll prove to myself that I can cut it out of my life for good 🗓

- Took another look at my diet plan - this is a work in progress as I'm experimenting with what I can eat, what fills me up and getting the right amount of calories etc. This is something that is going to be trial and error that I'm going to Give Myself Permission To Suck At. Working hard to adopt this mindset and I think it is definitely helping to move me forward instead of over-analysing things. I'll do a food shop soon and set up a cooking schedule timing it for when I go back to the gym very, very soon

- I haven't heard back from the Jiu-Jitsu club yet, but there is a phone number. I'll give it another day or so and then send a text about coming back to training.

That's it for today's update.

As it's been pissing it down all day, I've mostly stayed in and done what I can to be productive. Quite happy with what I've got done today 🌧

Thanks again to everyone for the continued support and words of encouragement. Really grateful for the guidance I've received on here and I feel like I'm finally getting things done and my life on track to a place where I want it to go.

Dewm
Brother_Tucker
Holden
KillYourInnerLoser
MILFandCookies


Gonna take the rest of the day off/evening to relax as it's been a stressful week with the job interviews

Might read some Manga or I might go on the Xbox - could take or leave the video games these days though if I'm being honest. Real life achievement simulators indeed >

Photos have been posted below for accountability/proof purposes

Thanks for reading

Spider 🕷

 

[Manganiello]

Good stuff man.
Keep it up.

 

[Spider Jerusalem]

Good stuff man.
Keep it up.

Manganiello

Thank you brother!

Spider

 

[SIGMA_1234]

Hey bro thanks for the reminder of where I was before. My god, sometimes I cringe looking back at my old logs & my past interview with Andy.

I'm still nowhere where I wanna be, but I am 200% better mentally & optimistically than where I was when I recorded that episode. Got slightly better business acumen (isn't saying much). Made a bit of money doing web design (nothing much to show yet but better than nothing). Now got let go of job so I have a chance of devoting some time to business full-time.

Plus, I banged more chicks in the past year than the 5 years before (which isn't saying much).

LFG!!

 

[Spider Jerusalem]

Hey bro thanks for the reminder of where I was before. My god, sometimes I cringe looking back at my old logs & my past interview with Andy.

I'm still nowhere where I wanna be, but I am 200% better mentally & optimistically than where I was when I recorded that episode. Got slightly better business acumen (isn't saying much). Made a bit of money doing web design (nothing much to show yet but better than nothing). Now got let go of job so I have a chance of devoting some time to business full-time.

Plus, I banged more chicks in the past year than the 5 years before (which isn't saying much).

LFG!!

SIGMA_1234

Hey Sigma good to see you’re still going strong, buddy! I’m already looking back on some of my logs and cringing a bit myself I thought the podcast interview you did was really good 🎙

I hope that I can say the same in a few months or a year that I’ve made progress. I’m trying to see it as a marathon and not a sprint

Good work on the lays and good luck with your goals - I’ll see you around the forums sometime

Many thanks!

Spider 🕷

 

[Spider Jerusalem]

Day 21: 31/10/2021

Happy Halloween everyone!

Today was certainly scary for me although not in a good Halloween kind of way - read on to find out more

I've been trying to get back into driving as one of my side-goals for work purposes: If I can travel, I can get to better jobs which are further away etc. Happy to say I've been out in my car 4 times this week after not being on the road for a long time to just to try and build up my confidence 🛣

Decided to head out today and there was a car crash on a traffic roundabout on my route. I had to stop and assess before moving forwards as to not cause another crash, as the traffic was still moving to the right of me to try and get around it. Some asshole in a big Range Rover 4x4 type SUV who was behind me got too impatient and was honking his horn and going mad

This dipshit then illegally overtook me, cut me up, and almost crashed into me in the process

For a new and nervous driver this was a bit of a Fucking nightmare, but I kept my cool and calmed down then just moved over the roundabout when safe to do so. Did the same thing on the way back too and was able to get home safely thanks to some manoeuvring on my part. Fortunately didn't bump into any assholes on the way back and after checking in with my parents, one of whom has been a truck driver for over 20 years, turned out I was right to wait and Range Rover Asshole was in the wrong

What a Fucking twat.

Here is my progress update for today:

- Weighed myself today as I promised. I am 10 Stone 7. Will keep a record of this here

- Went out for a drive (full story above)

- Bought some ingredients for a weight gain shake. This is something I am actively experimenting with as I have to find things I can eat/drink without puking my guts up! This week I will experiment with food etc. and start a proper diet next week. I will also look at going back to the gym next week and coincide it. I was going to hit it full pelt this week, but I am at a funeral on Tuesday and have a few other bits to do, so don't think I'll be in the right frame of mind and may need a couple days to decompress. I might be alright, but I want to have that safety net of a couple of days there to act as a buffer before I start hitting the gym and bulk hard just in case

I mixed up and drank a Peanut butter and Vanilla Milkshake which was made up of:

- Vanilla Ice Cream
- Peanut Butter
- Whole Milk
- Small Grated chocolate bar to lightly flavour

This contained approximately 1200 Calories and I didn't feel too sick after drinking it. Was going to add a banana, but think this would've been too much to handle

I'm thinking of having one of these every night before bed to settle and put the weight on whilst I sleep

I'm going to try to aim for 3000-3500 calories a day to bulk up and this is pretty much a third of that in one drink, so this will help me greatly

- Bought some clothes - little reward for driving. Like Andy said on Podcasts, you have to reward yourself when you do something you don't want to or that takes effort

- Bought another Berserk Manga

- Listened to Andy's Podcast episode #26: Anxiety Around Disappointing Your Partner. This was really useful and I am grateful to lacroix for asking this question. I have made notes on this one as I have made these mistakes in the past and ended up turning girls off big-time. Hopefully I can learn from this and alter my behaviour for the future

That's it for today's update.

Gonna take it easy now and get into the Berserk Manga I've bought - pretty appropriate for Halloween

Photos have been posted for accountability purposes

Thanks for reading

Spider

 

[Spider Jerusalem]

Day 22: 01/11/2021

Some good news today - the job interview I wasn't expecting to pass? I passed it and have now progressed through to the next stage which is a face-to face interview. I was quite surprised at this as I didn't think I would pass it, but I have managed to get this far which I'm quite pleased about. Interview is Wednesday, so will update more once I have attended it

I also cancelled on a date due to sticking to my principles. Set up a date for Wednesday evening - got this chick's number and I suggested coffee, but she wanted me to buy her dinner. She was sending provocative photos and strongly suggesting I'd come back to hers after. I booked a table and told her I'd booked it, but I instantly realised I shouldn't have

She changed after I told her that I'd booked it and the conversation turned less sexual/provocative from her and she was less engaging. All of a sudden it was 'I actually don't let guys come back to mine after a first date...' This was a quick 180 from what how she was previously

Quickly realised from my past experiences this girl was probably after a Free Meal and was probably going to take me for a ride:

I'd have to travel there, pay for everything, travel back and probably spend about 80 bucks in the process.

I cancelled the table and told her I wouldn't be meeting her as we're both looking for different things and that I usually only do coffee as a first date ️

Why the Fuck would I pay for an expensive meal on the first date?

Of course I was a 'Liar' and had 'Misled her' etc. etc. and she was pretty pissed off. I just replied:

'I'm not arguing with you. Good luck with everything '

To which she was blocked and unmatched on Bumble

Lesson here is: No meals on first dates. I'll stick to coffee now on and if that's not call, they can find someone else to buy them dinner

Also today I have:

- E-mailed regarding the interview and asked if I can be given a run-down of the structure/questions that may be asked to assist in my preparation

- Started No-Nut November

- Ironed my interview clothes

- Listened to Andy's Podcast episode #27: Fitness and YouTube with Guest Tristan Nigro. Really good tips about the Gym. I'd planned to go back 6 times a week, but will probably aim for 3 times a week now to build the habit. Also subscribed to Tristan's YouTube channel. Happy to help the channel grow and the content is quite interesting 🎙

- Tried to buy 20 Tinder Boosts on the Web app due to it being cheaper. Wanting to commit more to my online dating, but Tinder is pretty shit for me for some reason and won't let me buy them. Have e-mailed Tinder Support to see if this can be resolved. Have to bite the bullet if not and buy them for the higher price through the app. Pain in the ass, but it is what it is ️

- Did some more work on my diet plan - took of a few things which I'd have to cook and replaced them with easier to prepare meals that require no cooking. Less effort I have to make with this the more likely I'll be to stick with it. Don't want to be stuck in the kitchen all day

- Will try and go for a drive later to keep hitting this and work on my road confidence. I will post a photo if I do this later for self-accountability 🛣 Edit: Went out and the car is frosted over, so leaving this one for tonight.

That's pretty much it for today. Got a few things done here and there, but have felt a bit down. I am at a funeral tomorrow, so this could offer something in the way of an explanation. I may only do a brief post tomorrow, even if just a sentence to keep up with the 365 Day Project as I'm probably not gonna be feeling too positive 🗓

The post will suck, but Giving Yourself Permission to Suck is a philosophy I am now trying to actively embrace

Photos have been posted for accountability purposes

Thanks for reading

Spider 🕷

 

[Now]

Day 22: 01/11/2021
I also cancelled on a date due to sticking to my principles. Set up a date for Wednesday evening - got this chick's number and I suggested coffee, but she wanted me to buy her dinner. She was sending provocative photos and strongly suggesting I'd come back to hers after. I booked a table and told her I'd booked it, but I instantly realised I shouldn't have

[...]

Of course I was a 'Liar' and had 'Misled her' etc. etc. and she was pretty pissed off. I just replied:

'I'm not arguing with you. Good luck with everything '

To which she was blocked and unmatched on Bumble

Your log is some boundary setting porn man, good shit - glad to see you caught yourself after slipping up with the booking.
This story also called a Blackdragon article to mind, that chick hit a lot provider hunter marks

 

[Spider Jerusalem]

Day 22: 01/11/2021
I also cancelled on a date due to sticking to my principles. Set up a date for Wednesday evening - got this chick's number and I suggested coffee, but she wanted me to buy her dinner. She was sending provocative photos and strongly suggesting I'd come back to hers after. I booked a table and told her I'd booked it, but I instantly realised I shouldn't have

[...]

Of course I was a 'Liar' and had 'Misled her' etc. etc. and she was pretty pissed off. I just replied:

'I'm not arguing with you. Good luck with everything '

To which she was blocked and unmatched on Bumble

Your log is some boundary setting porn man, good shit - glad to see you caught yourself after slipping up with the booking.
This story also called a Blackdragon article to mind, that chick hit a lot provider hunter marks

Now

Hey thanks man - I’m just glad I realised what was up before I spent any money

I’m gonna slip up on occasion, but it’s all a learning experience

I’ll definitely check that article out now I’ve recently started getting into Black Dragon’s content ever since the interview with Andy Really shocked me to see a guy who doesn’t tolerate any drama or bullshit and how well things are working out for him

I watched that podcast episode on YouTube and it absolutely blew my Fucking mind

Thanks for the link - I’ll have a read through now

Regards,

Spider 🕷

 

[Spider Jerusalem]

Day 23: 02/11/2021

I'm at a funeral in a couple of hours, so just in case I'm not in the mood for posting later, I'm writing a quick 'Buffer Post' now so that I keep in check with my 365 Day Project.

If I feel up to it later, I may edit this post and put more in, but I can't say for sure how I'll be feeling later.

Still managed to do 1 quick job this morning:

- I have rang up the workplace where I am having my job interview this morning and gotten an idea of what they'll be asking me on interview.

I will also try and listen to one of Andy's Podcasts today on my way out. Might help keep my mind off things.

As I say just a quick one today as I may not be feeling it later. If I am, I'll post here again.

Thanks for reading

Regards,

Spider

 

[Brother_Tucker]

Day 22: 01/11/2021

Some good news today - the job interview I wasn't expecting to pass? I passed it and have now progressed through to the next stage which is a face-to face interview. I was quite surprised at this as I didn't think I would pass it, but I have managed to get this far which I'm quite pleased about. Interview is Wednesday, so will update more once I have attended it

I also cancelled on a date due to sticking to my principles. Set up a date for Wednesday evening - got this chick's number and I suggested coffee, but she wanted me to buy her dinner. She was sending provocative photos and strongly suggesting I'd come back to hers after. I booked a table and told her I'd booked it, but I instantly realised I shouldn't have

She changed after I told her that I'd booked it and the conversation turned less sexual/provocative from her and she was less engaging. All of a sudden it was 'I actually don't let guys come back to mine after a first date...' This was a quick 180 from what how she was previously

Quickly realised from my past experiences this girl was probably after a Free Meal and was probably going to take me for a ride:

I'd have to travel there, pay for everything, travel back and probably spend about 80 bucks in the process.

I cancelled the table and told her I wouldn't be meeting her as we're both looking for different things and that I usually only do coffee as a first date ️

Why the Fuck would I pay for an expensive meal on the first date?

Of course I was a 'Liar' and had 'Misled her' etc. etc. and she was pretty pissed off. I just replied:

'I'm not arguing with you. Good luck with everything '

To which she was blocked and unmatched on Bumble

Lesson here is: No meals on first dates. I'll stick to coffee now on and if that's not call, they can find someone else to buy them dinner

This is a significant step forward, that's several chances of your time being wasted being avoided meaning you could invest that time into a girl that you actually had a good experience with.

Personally I consider a girl sending nudes before I have slept with her a red flag, it usually shows a lack of self esteem or that they just want to get off. I would talk a bit about BDSM and hold the rest back until they are on the date. If you give the girl the validation and material for her wank bank there's a good chance she wont think about going on a date because she got what she needed. I think you have spotted this with some of your girls, the ones texting nudes seem to have flaked or suddenly outed themselves as materialista (a girl who needs to receive things in order to feel loved, but someone you can never buy love from).

You're starting to value your time, keep doing this and you will find more girls that you gel with that wont make you work for it.

 

[Spider Jerusalem]

Brother_Tucker

This is a significant step forward, that's several chances of your time being wasted being avoided meaning you could invest that time into a girl that you actually had a good experience with.

Thank you for the continued support. Our conversation we had about some of my past experiences and dates definitely came to mind when I was considering what to do with this chick. I'm starting to see my time as valuable now and only girls who put the effort in and aren't taking the piss are deserving of it.

Personally I consider a girl sending nudes before I have slept with her a red flag, it usually shows a lack of self esteem or that they just want to get off. I would talk a bit about BDSM and hold the rest back until they are on the date. If you give the girl the validation and material for her wank bank there's a good chance she wont think about going on a date because she got what she needed. I think you have spotted this with some of your girls, the ones texting nudes seem to have flaked or suddenly outed themselves as materialista (a girl who needs to receive things in order to feel loved, but someone you can never buy love from).

I'm definitely starting to see this as a red flag now. My first lay never sent any nudes, but we did do light sexting and discussed BDSM, so I'll probably stick to this as the game plan going forward.

Unfortunately you're right there about materialistic girls - I think a generational issue of bad relationships with fathers and the degeneracy that comes with social media has lead to this mindset of needing to receive things to feel something such as love or validation. Constant need to chase it but they'll never be satisfied because they don't know what a healthy and fulfilling relationship looks like.

You're starting to value your time, keep doing this and you will find more girls that you gel with that wont make you work for it.

Definitely. Only going for the girls now that are into me and actually make the effort - it's 100 times easier to make it work with them anyway.

Thanks again, man

Spider

 

[Brother_Tucker]

Unfortunately you're right there about materialistic girls - I think a generational issue of bad relationships with fathers and the degeneracy that comes with social media has lead to this mindset of needing to receive things to feel something such as love or validation. Constant need to chase it but they'll never be satisfied because they don't know what a healthy and fulfilling relationship looks like.

So you can handle these girls if you understand how they feel attraction. The key is that when dealing with this girl is that you cannot buy their love but they can love you. The way to date a materialista is to use those things as rewards. She only gets things for doing things for you of equal value. This way she still feels the validation, but she has to invest in you in equal measure which in turn brings her closer to you. As long as you are not buying her a bag for a blowjob because that's not equal, as you both enjoy sex that's an equal exchange on its own without the bag. There's a fantastic book called Practical Female Psychology which has a section about dating this type of girl. It's doable, just a different mindset and you can opt out of these girls for the time being.

 

[Spider Jerusalem]

Unfortunately you're right there about materialistic girls - I think a generational issue of bad relationships with fathers and the degeneracy that comes with social media has lead to this mindset of needing to receive things to feel something such as love or validation. Constant need to chase it but they'll never be satisfied because they don't know what a healthy and fulfilling relationship looks like.

So you can handle these girls if you understand how they feel attraction. The key is that when dealing with this girl is that you cannot buy their love but they can love you. The way to date a materialista is to use those things as rewards. She only gets things for doing things for you of equal value. This way she still feels the validation, but she has to invest in you in equal measure which in turn brings her closer to you. As long as you are not buying her a bag for a blowjob because that's not equal, as you both enjoy sex that's an equal exchange on its own without the bag. There's a fantastic book called Practical Female Psychology which has a section about dating this type of girl. It's doable, just a different mindset and you can opt out of these girls for the time being.

Brother_Tucker

Thanks for the heads up on this. For the moment I think I'll stick with the easy girls who want to make the effort and the materialista's I'll experiment with but stay on my guard as time goes on. I'll definitely look into that book in the meantime to help get my head round them. They sound like more trouble than they are worth being honest!

Regards,

Spider

 

[Spider Jerusalem]

Day 24: 03/11/2021

Didn't do a proper post yesterday as I wasn't in the mood - I was at a funeral for an old friend of mine who sadly passed away suddenly in his early 30's.

I found myself thinking a lot after. Seeing his life get celebrated yesterday made me realise how valuable life is.

It's a gift really and I should use the time I have now to improve my life and make sure I have a fulfilling time whilst on Earth.

It's also spurred me to remain healthy - I won't ever smoke or vape and I'll try not to drink ever again (I have been sober 5 years now apart from the odd drink here and there).

If anything good were to come of yesterday, It's that I now feel more committed to self-improvement.

Onto some good news:

️ I have achieved one of my sub-goals of getting a job ️

So I arrived at the office building and waited as instructed and was kept waiting for about half an hour

I soon realised that the mind is Fucking hilarious with the thoughts that can run through it when you've catastrophised a situation:

'They've changed their minds and don't want to tell you, so they're upstairs hiding hoping that you'll just give up and go home...'

'They're still coming up with horrendous questions to ask so that you'll purposefully fail the interview...'

Were just some of the the thoughts running through my mind as to why I was waiting.

Fucking Lol.

I received a phone call about an hour later and was informed that I was the most suitable candidate for the position and that it was an 'easy choice' as they were very happy with how I performed and think that my transferrable skills will be very useful in the position

I was offered the job on the spot and took it and I start work on the 15th of November.

The job itself is something which sounds very fulfilling and from what I can gather, I would actually be making a real difference in people's lives

Overall I'm very pleased with this news as I've been made redundant twice in my life and have been out of work a good few months 🗓

With the money I will be making from this job, I can use it to fund my self-improvement endeavours. I had previously been worried about putting money into things when I have not been earning and will now be able to pay for several things e.g. Jiu-Jitsu fees, my Gym membership, bulking food, supplements, driving refresher lessons etc. as well as being able to start saving again

Most of today has been spent on preparing for the interview and taking the interview. After stressing all day about this, I'm going to relax now. Might listen to a podcast later on, but think I'll chill for now and get things going again tomorrow

Thanks for reading

Spider 🕷