Spider’s Progress Log 🕷 DAY 366: Continuation Log Link ⛓️

[Spider Jerusalem]

Day 156: 16/03/2022

American Woman

So I Fucked this American chick about 4-5 years ago. when she came over to the U.K. We kept in touch and I was gonna go hang in the States with her back in 2020 until COVID had other plans. She got her own place and it wouldn't have cost me nothing to stay there (although I'd have chucked her some cash towards rent etc.) plus it would've been regular sex on tap for whilst I was there.

So she gets in touch with me today (we catch up every couple of weeks) and says she's coming back over my way for a vacation in a few months and she's gonna be wanting some fun whilst she's here. Looks like this has the potential to be a future lay. Also discussed me going over to the States to hang with her at some point. My 2020 trip could be back on.

Thanks for reading

Spider 🕷

 

[SamJ_]

Day 156: 16/03/2022

American Woman

So I Fucked this American chick about 4-5 years ago. when she came over to the U.K. We kept in touch and I was gonna go hang in the States with her back in 2020 until COVID had other plans. She got her own place and it wouldn't have cost me nothing to stay there (although I'd have chucked her some cash towards rent etc.) plus it would've been regular sex on tap for whilst I was there.

So she gets in touch with me today (we catch up every couple of weeks) and says she's coming back over my way for a vacation in a few months and she's gonna be wanting some fun whilst she's here. Looks like this has the potential to be a future lay. Also discussed me going over to the States to hang with her at some point. My 2020 trip could be back on.

Thanks for reading

Spider 🕷

That's awesome, I'm happy for you. Would be awesome if you could have some fun with her after all the stuff you've been through lately, great how things can turn around for the better so fast sometimes.

 

[Spider Jerusalem]

Day 157: 17/03/2022

20 Tinder Boosts and a New Prospect

Bit the bullet today and bought 20 Tinder Boosts Recently ran out and decided to buy some. I bulk bought the 20 as you save more money and I'll have these banked now for when I need them.

Got chatting to a 31 Year-Old black chick today who has told me she literally just wants to Fuck some guy regular as she's come out of a long-term relationship recently. She seems a cool chick to vibe with and has said she's constantly horny. Logistics might be a bit difficult to work out, but we'll see what happens. Tinder has been a recent welcome distraction from my anxiety and intrusive thoughts lately

I'll try keep things up. Getting the all clear from the doctor recently was a big step forward

Thanks for reading

Spider 🕷

 

[Spider Jerusalem]

Day 158: 18/03/2022

Sons of Anarchy

I just took a break today and watched Sons of Anarchy. I find I'm having 'down days' lately where I'm just not really up for doing anything. Part of the Anxiety/Depression I suppose. Just gotta try ride these days out.

I got some cleaning done so it wasn't a total loss.

Thanks for reading

Spider 🕷

 

[Spider Jerusalem]

Day 159: 19/03/2022

Small Achievement: I Got Out of the House and Bought a Jet Washer

So my jet power washer broke today and I had a few jobs that needed doing with it, so I actually got out of the house and bought one. This seems like a really tiny step I know, but I have hardly left the house in a while and interacted with anyone outside my family.

Actually felt good to get out of the house and get something useful done. Last time I left the house, I had a bad panic attack which didn't happen today.

Thanks for reading

Spider 🕷

 

[Spider Jerusalem]

Day 160: 20/03/2022

No-Fap and Tinder Efforts

I've started back on No-Fap. I've been posting onto the No-Fap Reddit page for accountability and a couple of the members on there have been welcoming and supportive. I'll post on here if/when I hit milestones with this and use the Reddit group for support and accountability in the meantime.

Read some studies on how jacking off is linked to depression and anxiety, both of which I'm currently battling. There are documented cases of animals in captivity who have given up hope/appear depressed who do it regularly. It also zaps the Fuck out of your energy. For the sake of my physical and mental health and wellbeing, I'm giving it up. I feel like a total loser after I do it.

Also been back swiping on Tinder a lot more and there's a few prospects. Not gonna say anything just yet as I don't want to Jinx anything and screw my chances (as it's not a sure thing yet). I'll update on here going forwards.

Thanks for reading

Spider 🕷

 

[Spider Jerusalem]

Day 161: 21/03/2022

I Went for a Jog

I went for a jog today. It's not much. A really small thing, but I got out the house for half an hour and went round the block for a bit. I've been inside most the day doing normie stuff like finances, paperwork etc. so it was good to get out. Might try do the same tomorrow.

Thanks for reading

Spider 🕷

 

[Spider Jerusalem]

Day 162: 22/03/2022

Car Wash, Manscaping, Dentist and a Date ️

Well, I've had a pretty productive and busy day today

- I ended up washing my car with the new Jet Washer I bought. I wanted to test it out and this was a job that needed doing, so I blasted it off, shampooed it with the shampoo gun and then I blasted it off again. Instead of taking an hour, it took me about 20 minutes. It's smaller, more compact and easy to use with the shampoo gun as I didn't have to sponge any wash and wax on. Pretty happy about this as it saved me some time and was less of a pain in the ass

View attachment 1

- Also manscaped today. Without going into too much detail, this is something I've neglected for a long while due to struggling with my mental health. I'm now all smooth and had a shave too and no longer do I look like a hobo. I might get my haircut tomorrow and clean myself up a bit more. Bought a manscaping kit a while back from 'Manscaped' which does the job. I'm starting to date again now, so in case I get lucky, I cleaned myself up

- Booked a dental check up. I hate going to the dentist for check ups and I never really go (I just tend to go when something goes wrong) but I've promised myself I'm going to start looking after myself now. Rang up today and got booked in for April the 4th

- Also arranged a date for Friday Night at 7:30. Not sure about this chick, but she's older (33) and just wants to keep things casual. If I'm feeling cheeky, might try swing it so I go back to hers after the coffee. It'll be late at night, so hopefully she doesn't want to sleep alone. Fingers crossed. Not holding my breath as that would be a same night lay and might be a bit too ambitious for now, but I'll see how it plays out



- Been more active on Hinge, Tinder and Bumble too. Gonna try get laid soon as I got time off might as well have some fun while I can and try get my dick in a few holes

Thanks for reading

Spider 🕷

 

[Spider Jerusalem]

Day 163: 23/03/2022

Flaked!

Was supposed to meet a chick today for a date, but got flaked on literally an hour before. Just stayed in and watched T.V. Bit bummed out. Depression kicked in as a result then the anxiety. Had a panic attack which tired me out and I’ve just woke up after a nap.

Therapy starts tomorrow so hopefully I can start getting my shit together.

Thanks for reading

Spider 🕷

 

[Crisis_Overcomer]

- Also arranged a date for Friday Night at 7:30. Not sure about this chick, but she's older (33) and just wants to keep things casual. If I'm feeling cheeky, might try swing it so I go back to hers after the coffee. It'll be late at night, so hopefully she doesn't want to sleep alone. Fingers crossed. Not holding my breath as that would be a same night lay and might be a bit too ambitious for now, but I'll see how it plays out

Too much effort in your texting.

Should have been something like this:

How's 7?
7:30 should be fine
It's a date
See you then

You seem like a super excited kid, which is always bad for attraction.

 

[Spider Jerusalem]

Day 164: 24/03/2022

Therapy 1

Had my first therapy session today. Was just an introductory one really. Discussed my main problems (Health Anxiety, thinking I’m dying, sick, family are sick etc.) and came up with a plan.

Got sent some resources to work through in the meantime and a ‘panic attack log’ to try and find the triggers.

It was quite exhausting getting everything out. Got a bit upset but it is what it is.

Gonna sleep now. Got out the house early and went shopping so that’s a small achievement too.

Thanks for reading

Spider 🕷

 

[Spider Jerusalem]

Day 165: 25/03/2022

First Date in a While - Haircut and the Confirmation Text

So I'm off on a date in a little while. Thought I'd make this post now as a contingency.

What I will say is I sent a confirmation text at like 09:30 this Morning. She text back saying she's good to meet and wants to meet a little sooner - 6 P.M instead of 7:30 P.M. Solid advice to do this and will keep it as best practice going forward. Earlier meeting time suits me fine. Got no clue how this date is gonna go and I'm still trying to figure this chick out, but I could do with getting out and keeping my mind off things I know that much.

She's local and just wants casual which are the main 2 reasons I'm going on this date. I will update on here how it goes either later tonight when I get home or tomorrow.

Also got my hair cut today, so that's a job well done. Hadn't bothered to go up in a long while because well, I guess when you're an anxious mess, the last thing you care about is your physical appearance. Glad I got this done. I also look sharper for tonight and not like a total hobo.

That's it for now. Thanks for reading

Spider 🕷

 

[Spider Jerusalem]

Day 166: 26/03/2022

Dating Success, Chiropractor Visit and a New Lay on the Cards?

Well, I had a very successful date last night ️

Got to the coffee shop and I was about half an hour early. There's a bit of a scenic overlook nearby where I just sat on a railing in the sun and contemplated life for a bit. Went over to the coffee shop and waited outside at 5:45 and sent the 'I'm here' text. She text back that she was on her way and showed up about 6. Was greeted by this short-haired, cute Indian chick who's 34 and has beautiful eyes. She was wearing an L.A Lakers sweatshirt and jeans (Good conversation starter as I got a Laker's Vest). Kissed her on the cheek and then we headed inside and grabbed a coffee and a cake

I'll just bullet point the key points of the date:

- I paid for the coffee and cake
- Told her to 'sit next to me as I hate feeling like a job interview' (Thanks to Andy for this tip)
- Discussed what jobs we worked
- Had an interesting conversation about police (I'm an ex-cop) - this caused a bit of sexual tension
- Turns out she's kinky - discussed kinks etc.
- We were touching each other a fair bit
- Talked about anime
- Whole date lasted 2.5 Hours as we were both getting into each other a fair bit

She dropped me off by my place and we made out a few times before I left her

Got a text last night saying she was 'taken by surprise' (photo below for proof) along with her phone number.



Woke up to a text this morning saying she 'woke up wet after thinking about me last night' and I've been invited round hers tomorrow for 5 P.M

So, there might be a lay on the cards for tomorrow evening. Not getting my hopes up as well, she could cancel or anything but she seems up for it

Went to the Chiropractor today who said that my chest is rising and falling normally and that there is no sign of any underlying disease. Just my shit posture and curved spine, but that's more of an inconvenience which I'm working on more than anything else

Also cleaned my room, so not a bad few days. Mood is going okay. Still thinking on occasion that I'm sick and dying, but I'm dealing with it. Gotta stop those kinda thoughts from keeping me shut away not living my life

I’ll post on here in due course if tomorrow happens and how it goes

Thanks for reading

Spider 🕷

 

[Crisis_Overcomer]

- Talked about anime

Value. I still remember a girl I dated once and we geeked about Kimetsu No Yaiba. We anime fans are the unsung heroes of our generation.

Not getting my hopes up as well, she could cancel or anything but she seems up for it

The more i date, the more I like thinking of female emotions as a pendulum.

If they swing too far off to one side (positive) they'll also swing too far off to the other side (negative). In my experience, the best scenario is when a girl seems just interested. Not overly positive/enthusiastic, nor negative/disintered. There's a negotiation method called negative strip line, where you deliberately go negative and try to bring the super positive person back to neutral.

So yeah, I wouldn't get my hopes up.

 

[Spider Jerusalem]

Value. I still remember a girl I dated once and we geeked about Kimetsu No Yaiba. We anime fans are the unsung heroes of our generation.

The more i date, the more I like thinking of female emotions as a pendulum.

If they swing too far off to one side (positive) they'll also swing too far off to the other side (negative). In my experience, the best scenario is when a girl seems just interested. Not overly positive/enthusiastic, nor negative/disintered. There's a negotiation method called negative strip line, where you deliberately go negative and try to bring the super positive person back to neutral.

So yeah, I wouldn't get my hopes up.

Crisis_Overcomer

From what I've found in my personal experience, the girls who are into anime tend to be more 'alternate' in their personality, appearance and general how they are. One thing I detest is the NPC Normie kind of girl - they just don't do anything for me in terms of attractiveness. It's kind of a weird way to filter out my potential matches. The girls I want to date are the ones who say 'Yeah I like anime' or 'I've never watched it, but I'm interested'. Some NPC 'Normie' girls have said to me 'No it's weird and only freaks watch it...'. Those chicks get unmatched.

I like the pendulum theory you've just described. With how the female brain is wired it makes a lot of sense as I think girls tend to make decisions from the standpoint of emotion whereas men tend to use logic in their thought processes more. It's very unpredictable!

I'm going to send a confirmation text very shortly and my hopes are definitely not up! I'll let you know if things go ahead or not. Want to take this opportunity to say thanks for your continued support and input on my log - it's much appreciated and I value your experience and views on things.

Thanks man

Spider 🕷

 

[Spider Jerusalem]

Day 167: 27/03/2022

Reflections on Killing my Inner Nice Guy Back to a Girl's Place: Looks Like It's On!

Chick I dated Friday night has replied to my confirmation text confirming we're all good for tonight. It's now highly likely that I will be getting laid, so thought I'd write a post on now. She's basically said 'just come round mine we'll hang out'... From the sex-related conversations we have been having from the get-go, I reckon we'll be sleeping together later.

I'm still a little pessimistic and I've been thinking about Crisis_Overcomer and his recent post about his Pendulum theory - this is something I have experienced firsthand where a girl can literally blow hot then cold in the space of a short time period and the emotional pendulum can unpredictably swing, so I'm not getting my hopes up too much.

I've never been with a girl like this either, so I'm still kinda figuring her out. She's intelligent, professional and doesn't take any nonsense. Not to make it all about race and I hope to God I don't offend anyone and I probably sound like a total douchebag, but this girl is Indian and she has very deep and pretty brown eyes which were quite striking when I was sat right next to her Friday. I've only ever been with white women, but I've always found girls from other races to be very attractive and this girl in my eyes is extremely good looking.

I know Andy has mentioned his type as being Asian girls and a couple of other guys on the forums have mentioned their types and what they look for in a woman physically, so I hope nobody thinks I'm an asshole for mentioning this - just the kinds of girls I am interested in and find attractive and I wanted to get this down on my log for my own benefit due to a self-limiting belief as a result of a bad experience: I asked a black girl out on a date once and she said I was only asking her because she's 'black' and I was seeing it as some kind of 'novelty' to be 'ticked off my list' which was not the case at all. I genuinely liked her.

This really hurt me and made me question myself a lot to a point where I've avoided asking out anyone from a different background for fear of being told something like that again and being hurt. I'm trying to shut this mentality down and I'm hoping this can be moved on from.

I'm certainly trying.

This girl seems up for a good time and so far the conversation has been interesting. Not sure if anything will come of this or what it'll evole into e.g. A one-off hook up, something regular, a FWB kinda deal, I just don't know.

What I am finding is that being honest about what I want and being truthful when we talk is playing well in my favour: During our date the other night, I expressed different opinions and disagreed on some things we were discussing. Didn't just be a thirsty simp 'yes man'. I think she respected me more for that. This girl is quite intelligent and works a high-paid job, so I think she would smell simp-like behaviours a mile off. This is actually serving me really well as I have been trying to kill my inner nice guy and the ensuing simpish behaviours for many, many years. If anything, looks like nice guy behaviours can make the pendulum swing in the direction you don't want it to go. Good practice indeed.

I also finished cleaning my room today, so if things go tits-up, at least I'll come back to an empty bed, but in a tidy room.

Gonna iron my stuff now, grab a shower and get ready as I'll be heading out the door in 3.5 Hours to go meet her. I'll put a post on tomorrow with hopefully a lay report. If nothing else, It'll be a good experience to spend time with a chick like this.

Wish me luck.

Thanks for reading

Spider 🕷

 

[Spider Jerusalem]

hope nobody thinks I'm an asshole for mentioning this - just the kinds of girls I am interested in and find attractive and I wanted to get this down on my log for my own benefit due to a self-limiting belief as a result of a bad experience: I asked a black girl out on a date once and she said I was only asking her because she's 'black' and I was seeing it as some kind of 'novelty' to be 'ticked off my list' which was not the case at all. I genuinely liked her.

Definitely not, man. It's totally normal to be more attracted to certain types of girls at different times in your life. And wanting to date a girl of a certain race is no different from being into blondes, brunettes, alternative chicks, etc. They're just preferences. Sounds like that girl who accused you of treating her as a novelty was projecting something else onto you.

Adam

Dude, thank you so much for this.

Really reassuring and has made me feel a hell of a lot better about things. Had it in my head that I was some racist or something, but that's just because of what she said and I realise that now.

Hopefully tonight goes well - I definitely think it's going to go better after reading this reply from you. It's definitely put me at ease

Thanks again!

 

[Manganiello]

I asked a black girl out on a date once and she said I was only asking her because she's 'black'

Keep in mind girls can be really insecure.
If someone was to say this it probably means she has issues with herself, not you.

 

[Spider Jerusalem]

I asked a black girl out on a date once and she said I was only asking her because she's 'black'

Keep in mind girls can be really insecure.
If someone was to say this it probably means she has issues with herself, not you.

Manganiello

Hey thanks Manga

I’m starting to see that it was a her issue and not a me issue. I think once I accept that, I’ll be okay and able to move on from it easier

Appreciate your valuable input!

 

[Spider Jerusalem]

Day 168: 28/03/2022

️ LAY 4: Professional Girl ️

So, I got laid last night for the first time since back in January and the sex was pretty damn good

Considering my mental health hasn't been great as of late, I'm chalking this up as a big personal win ️

Calling this girl Professional Girl

So I went round this girl's at 5:30 Last night. She very kindly picked me up as she was out anyway. Kissed her on the lips when I got into her car and we just chatted on the way back to hers. Ended up on her couch watching Cowboy Bebop and drinking Columbian coffee. Although we didn't watch much of the T.V as we were busy talking and getting to know each other

We talked about relationships, red flags, bad sex, good sex stories, jobs we've both worked, bad doms, good doms, swingers websites, swingers clubs, past relationships, what we both like in bed etc. She's very open about everything and I can tell she's had a fair bit of experience. She's very liberal in her views and open-minded

Eventually she wanted to 'show me something upstairs' then just went: 'Look, do you Wanna go upstairs and make out?' And it happened from there:

Lots of kissing, licking, teasing, oral, she rode me cowgirl (her favourite position) then I Fucked her in doggy, then on her side in 'spoons' position. She said I made her come 3 times and she was shocked at how long I lasted. This girl was very generous in bed and was very interested in making sure I had a good time. Nice to meet a girl who genuinely cares about my pleasure for a change

For my own peace of mind, just logging on here that I used protection and this girl is on birth control as a backup.

This girl is not submissive at all and has an under-bed restraint kit. She was saying she wants to tie me up and tease me etc. at some point. Told her once I've met her a few more times I'd be open to exploring. I've always been dominant so this might be a new experience for me. I'm an open-minded guy, so we'll see what happens in the future

Chilled round hers until 10 and had some good after-sex conversation. We had the talk about what we're looking for and whether we wanna see each other again (we do) then she dropped me back off at home. She's busy this week, but we're looking at Sunday night for a meet depending on what time she gets home



So that was Lay 4 in the bag. Pretty happy with how it turned out and we might have something regular on the cards. This would be ideal as she's local and good in bed Gonna try go for the lock-in on this one.

Want to also say thank you to Crisis_Overcomer, Manganiello and Adam for helping me overcome a bit of a mental hurdle with their recent words of encouragement and advice regarding my concerns about race/girl types. Helped me relax a lot last night before and during the lay, so a big thank you to you guys - much appreciated

Other developments today:

- Decided to sort my sleep pattern out. I woke up at 10:30 this morning which just ain't good enough. I get that I'm struggling with my mental health lately, but lying in bed most the day isn't gonna help. I'll set an alarm tomorrow, bite the bullet, and force myself to get up

- Started filling out the therapists paperwork/activity sheets I've been sent. Got another session in a week or so, so we'll see how it goes

Got a couple other things going on, but I'll post about them in due course when I've put some time and effort into them and something significant occurs

Thanks for reading

Spider 🕷