Thanks guys, I was definitely feeling all of that. It's just life - you can do everything right and still get hit by a truck.
However, I actually have an update on that - sent her a text saying "hey, its cool if you don't wanna see me again, but keep me in the loop about STI's/Pregnancy", and she got back to me. Said she was still on her period and had just had a busy week, and apologized for not responding. She said she "maybe" wants to meet up again, and she'll contact me when her life is less hectic. I'm kinda assuming this is a soft no, but w/e, getting any response was really nice.
Ok, Regular log updates:
Had a bunch of dates set up for the weekend.
B early Friday evening
T late (10:30) Friday evening
R Saturday morning (climbing date)
Sh Saturday night
D Sunday afternoon
So Sunday night
Friday, sent two confirmation texts to both dates. B said she'd double booked me because she's bad at scheduling, so I bumped Sh (who I wasn't super stoked on) and rescheduled for Saturday evening. T was an enthusiastic yes... when her shift ended, 30 min away in Boulder. Not ideal logistics, but she was hot and liked the fact that I was pushing the conversation forward. Since logistics were bad, I tried to be as blunt as possible, asking if her place was good to go afterwards. She was giving me all green lights, so I was pretty hopeful. But actually showing up, I realized later that the bad logistics had put me way out of my depth.
Late at night - I try to go to sleep at 10. So at 10:30, it was a battle to maintain any kind of energy levels.
After her shift - her shift ran long, so she was harried when I met her and I just had to chill while she finished up. Not ideal for setting a mood.
In a place I didn't know. This was the worst one - since I don't know the Boulder bar scene, I basically put the ball in her court, and she took it *aaaaall* the way in her court. Went to a loud bar where she's a regular, where she seemed to know about half the people there. I was way too low energy for this environment and super stiff.
With all this, I found it difficult to snap into gear and make moves, and ended up delaying by drinking more. It seemed the two of us had very different plans for the night - I knew I had to wake up early tomorrow, but she apparently wanted to stay up late and get wasted. After dragging my feet for too long, I went for the pull, got turned down, and headed out.
Retrospective -
Someone more skilled than me definitely could have made it work, I think. She was physically attracted to me, but my stiffness and our different plans for the evening blew my chance. If I'd pushed for better logistics, I probably would have gotten them, but I didn't because she was giving me so much positive feedback earlier. Even if I agreed to the bad logistics, I should have been clear that I had other things to do, and wouldn't be closing down the bars with her. So I failed here on two fronts - the lesser failure was that I didn't pull. But the bigger failure was that I wasted a ton of time and cut into my sleep for no reason because I wasn't explicit enough about what I wanted. Lesson learned.
So I get home too late, chug water, and set 3 alarms for 6am. 6am comes far too early, and I chug some more water while throwing shit in the van. Get to the meeting spot with R right on time. I always kinda roll my eyes when I read PUAs talk about "high quality women", because they're clearly just trying to pretend like they aren't the shallow motherfuckers they are. So it was funny to me that I was on a date with their platonic ideal of a "high quality woman". R was hot, and came from a wealthy family, and was working on her PhD in Chemistry doing research on enzymes for manufacturing biofuels. She's also a gumby, but she had some basic skills for sport climbing - perfect.
Date plan was that I would rope gun The Young And The Rackless - super classic 5.9 sport climb. My only worry was that we might get stuck with a bunch of other parties on the route, which would kill the mood. But holy shit, everything went perfect. When we show up at the base, we're the only ones there - I use the opportunity to kiss her the first time. She's kind of shy, and apologizes that she's bad at kissing. Awww. Just as I tie in, two old guys walk up, planning on doing the same route, and we make some friendly chit chat at the base. I'm pretty sure they know *exactly* what's going on, and they end up winging for me the whole route - giving us space so we can make out at the belays, helping her out with rope management when I'm on the next pitch, giving me compliments about how strong I am in front of her. I kiss her at every belay, and start grabbing her ass while reracking draws. We simulrap on the decent and I put us in position to kiss during a free-hanging rappel, too. We pack up, head down to the van, and make out for a while on my bed while I feel her up. She says she's on her period, so we can't fuck. We also talk a bit - she's looking for a relationship and wouldn't have given me her number, except that I invited her to go climbing, which she's into right now. She was down for a fwb relationship, but not if I was going out with other girls. I said I was, she said it's good I'm honest. We go out again and climb a few more pitches, make out some more. At one point she smacks my ass while I'm bent over flaking the rope. We go to the van again, make out more aggressively, clothes come off. No fucking, but she gives me a hj after I strip her down to her panties.
Now, some feminists have argued that defining sex only as when a penis enters a vagina is a patriarchal viewpoint - after all, are lesbians scissoring not having sex? So in the interest of fighting the patriarchy, I'm gonna count cumming on this girl's stomach while I was squeezing her tits as LAY #4. Thank you, feminists, for increasing my body count.
This date also checked a minor item on my bucket list - the belay ledge make out - which is only on there because it's one of the ongoing battles in the climbing community culture wars.
https://www.mountainproject.com/for...ake-a-romantic-move-on-someone-while-climbing
So I wanted to tick that box for the lulz.
It was kind of weird, though, because she was pretty non-communicative/non-expressive. She was leaning into it, feeling me up, but she never made any sounds or had much of a reaction to anything, mostly just smiling coyly the whole time. A couple times I asked her if she was having a good time, if she liked X, how I could make her feel good, but each time she just kind of diverted the question, saying things like "no, but this feels nice". The impression I got was that she was inexperienced and nervous, but didn't want to admit it. In the future in this situation, I think I'll push harder to get a straight answer so I can make sure she's having the best time possible, but at the end of the day, I can't really force her to talk about it if she doesn't want to.
Anyway, we clean up and she takes a nap in the back while I drive us out of the canyon. I drop her at her car, head back to my place, shower, and go straight to the bar to meet my next date with B.
The contrast is striking. B was just a legit badass who had just finished up a day of soloing an enchainment of the flatirons. The conversation is pretty good, but I'm still pretty nervous - we finish our drinks, ask what she wants to do now. She says "whatever you want". Lol, perfect opening, so I lean in and kiss her. Massive, massive contrast with R, B reacts A TON to even the slightest stimulation. Each time we kiss, she seems to go into a trance that takes her a couple seconds to wake up from when we break apart. She's moaning into my mouth just from me feeling her up on her waist or thigh. At one point she moves my hand and just puts it straight on her breast under her jacket, so now I'm getting to second base in the bar. BUT, when I go for the pull, she turns me down. I have an inkling and ask if she has a "not on the first date" rule. "Maaaaaybeeee". Yeah, probably a good call for her. We leave the bar and head over to her car. She's a tiny Asian girl (I'm betting Filipina), and can't possibly weigh more than 100 lbs. So when we kiss good night I pick her up and push her against her car, and she's *really* into it. Scheduled another date with her next week. I'm stoked!
Later that night D sends me a text cancelling for tomorrow. This would have been our second date, and she's agreed to come straight to mine. But she said after our date she realized she really was looking for something long term. I said no problem. Then we expressed mutual disappointment that we no longer had an excuse to hang out. I'm honestly bummed about it because she *was* really cool and I was looking forward to hanging out with her.
And now today, I have a break from stuff which I'm gonna use to help my friend paint his house and work on my bike. Then just one date tonight, thank God!
