Trèfle's progress log - Mediocre dating streak after 11 lays

Not too bad

1st date flaked... Kinda. Was pretty cringe. Sent a confirmation text in the morning (was a 6 pm date), no answer so I assumed "yeah fuck it" but nope she did answer... Around 9 pm during my 2nd date. Like "shit I forgot can we do tomorrow?" well no we can't, I really gotta workout after tomorrow's date (got a tennis match in the morning) and it seems she's not available on weekdays so, too bad.

Worked out in the afternoon, made improvements on all lifts, had sprints afterwards. Good stuff

That date was very fun, she was cuter than in pics. I really upped my agression, pretty much had my hand on her leg for the whole date, lot more touching than on previous dates I really struggle less and less with practice. I still struggle bringing up sexual talk (like preferences and all), did it anyway but it was a little bit awkward, she didn't seem bothered. Had a real nice talk, invited her home, her answer took me a bit by surprise "I never sleep with anyone on the first date, hope you don't mind waiting a little?", wasn't sure what to answer / felt a bit stressed so I answered something like "oh no I always ask on the 1st but 2nd, 3rd doesn't matter to me". Not exactly smooth but hey she seemed satisfied. I kept talking for a bit after her refusal though, guess I gotta learn to end a date quicker but it was fun and there's no way she misunderstood what I want so it probably doesn't matter much. I'd be surprised if she isn't interested in a 2nd date but we'll see, I had fun at least and will try to invite her again next time if there's 1
 
This canceled date streak really is something this week, what's up with that. Today's date ended up cancelling because she was sick, least she seemed invested about it, apologizing a lot and telling me she "really want to feel 100% before seeing me" so we pushed it to Wednesday night. Can't say I'm that saddened about it as I didn't freaking sleep last night - only like 3 hours. Stayed too late messaging girls, so hard to resist that temptation on Saturdays. I should have had gone for night game at this rate. Had too much coffee yesterday too for the gym. But yeah Wednesday's cool, I'll be in better physical and mental shape. Crazy though, I've been on 3 dates this week but how many did I have scheduled ? Like 7-8 probably I didn't count. Guess it really is just bad luck with poor health, unfortunate stuff ruining their day, that girl yday who forgot and the ones who ghosted the day of the date and didn't bother warning me. At least 2 of the dates were really fun and I'm pretty sure I'll see them again. Didn't get laid but the reasons for that are pretty solid (was afraid the 1st one was too drunk / prefer to fuck her on the 2nd date in case ; second one straight up told me "I don't ever fuck on the first date you'll have to wait a bit if that's cool with you"), I'm actually very happy with my performances on the dates, clear improvement each time on my end there

Spent the morning playing tennis on an empty stomach, burning calories, was fun. But then there was still the gym. And yeah deadlifts on 3 hours of sleep on a deficit was too hardcore for me, ended up eating a fat pizza beforehand. Still issues to solve on that end, all comes down to my lack of sleep discipline. I can do better than this. Gym was great though, I'm not that far from a 100 kg deadlift - will be a huge milestone

Still a rough week. Did my 3 workouts and plenty of cardio but getting a little fatter still with those bad food habits. I know how to solve them, just need to take more serious actions

Also, today i'm really getting a lot of attractive matches who reject me after asking what I'm looking for (it's always the ones who are looking for super serious relationships / settling down). Can't lie to them and say that I might consider monogamy when that's not the case at all so the most I've been able to answer to that is that "I wouldn't rule out a girlfriend but not feeling ready to sleep with only one girl just yet" but yeah that never works. Shame but I guess it's for the best if we're looking for completely different things. It's still a long way but perhaps a girlfriend would be right for me once I reach the lay number that'll make me feel like I "can get laid" (still a long way from here), would be a great way to build that sexual experience I'm looking for. Plus the ones who seem interested in me only as a potential boyfriend are always very attractive (well, in pictures I can't fully confirm in the real world but they seem attractive) so I probably wouldn't struggle much getting a decent gf. Will keep that idea in mind for the future
 
Straight up did nothing at all today, focused on eating my calorie deficit after eating badly for a bit, going to bed early and just relaxing. The relaxing part was there but there's really nothing to write. Guess I don't need to write a log on the truly mundane days, especially ones without women involved, don't need to be THAT extreme on accountability to succeed

Managed to set up new dates on Tuesday and Thursday, got that 1 already on Wednesday with the girl who had to postpone for sickness yesterday. Should be a busy next few days (unless I get flaked on). Messaged last Saturday's date, set up that 2nd date this weekend since shes away for the week. Guess I don't need to spend long on Tinder this week with this amount of dates - assuming they do happen

Had a truly bizarre match earlier on. Very pretty blonde who clearly wanted a serious relationship, I was honest on my own goals and she immediately said she wouldn't mind traveling to see me (it's a 1 hour trip) and even asked if we could have a 1st date directly at my home instead of a bar ? That sure is direct, I asked if she liked wine (which she does) and still need to setup the specifics (guess theres a decent chance she'll change her mind) but that was intriguing
 
Today was really freaking good. Best day yet in fact, absolutely perfect. Lay count 4/10

Pretty much didn't sit down from 8 am onward : went to the gym early, had easily my best workout yet I've never made so much progress at once. Did some good sprints afterwards before cooking something at home and then playing a friendly tennis match. Calories were burned here for sure. Hanged out with a friend for a bit afterwards, had a good talk and laughs before the date

And man I did awesome on that date. Like, I'll prob be filled with self doubt after the next meh date but I really really did good. Escalation was perfect, grabbed her hand at one point and never let go and I'm so much more comfortable than before talking about sex. She was a bit shocked too, asked me if that's what other people do on the 1st date but I answered "only me". She played along though we shared our stories with boys and girls, what she prefers in the bedroom (kinda proud I got her to be so open). Chatted for a bit more after the sexual talk before inviting her home. She was hesitating for sure, asked me if that means we have to fuck which I answered something like "nah we can just go at a slow pace, see what happens, nothing has to happen" and she followed. Started making out quickly on my bed but she was very hesitant still when I grabbed her boob so I slowed down, talked for a bit more before undressing her. She wasn't hesitant anymore at this point, foreplay and sex were both great. I did make her bleed a little during the fucking part which she commented "I'm cool with the hard stuff but you should probably be a little more gentle when fucking other girls". Made me question that last lay who seemed pissed after the sex, maybe that was my fault after all. Don't feel like I'm particularly brutal so it's weird, was thinking of starting to use the bathmate but perhaps I shouldn't

Anyway, that was great ! Stayed for about 2 hours in my bedroom, talked for a bit afterwards, she says she likes sex in public and also would love to try a threesome so perhaps I'll be able to explore some sexual fantaisies with her ? She's pretty too, would love to try things with her. She seemed eager to meet me again at least, kept making out in front of the subway station before parting ways

What a wonderful day. I was thinking a lot that my goal of 10 lays in like 4 months was too ambitious given my starting point but perhaps I'll succeed after all ? I genuinely feel like a player right now, it's a good feeling

Sure is very late, won't be sleeping much tonight. It's cool though, not doing anything except for tennis followed by tomorrow's date. Let's try getting laid two days in a row
 
So much for momentum, tried cold approaching for the first time and got more brutally rejected than I was expecting and tonight's date had to postpone for the second time, to Friday night this time. She seemed genuinely sorry at least but how annoying. Also I slept even less than expected. But it's mostly the approach part that made me real sad, I know it's the kind of things that make you stronger but that was humiliating. Just not a good day. Ate well the last 2 days but not today, looking for easy comfort and all that. Weak mentality, I'll feel better tomorrow
 
Thursday was god awful. Date canceled because she broke her hand, I was super depressed, barely left my bed. Gotta force myself to actually do things or my mood gets atrocious

Friday's been wonderful. Yeah I may not be the most consistent guy around. Great workout and sprints, played 3 hours of tennis, had a very good date. She declined the offer to go at my place, not on the first date for her but I walked her back walking hand in hand after that while she asked what I'd like to do on the 2nd date. Very sweet girl, very receptive to touch and my sex stories and all that, it was a very good date
 
Yeah so I got a big problem, would appreciate some advice from the more experienced guys

Was having a nice Sunday, gym and the movie, when I tried to setup a new date with Wednesday's date. It really was a good date, so I thought at least, I mean even after sleeping together she said she wanted to try threesomes with me and sex in public and she was kissing me in front of the subway station, like, surely she had a good time right ?

Well no, she answered my text saying she doesn't want to see me ever again, that she wasn't herself and slept with me against her consent and had deep trauma from this

I asked why she acted the way she did then, why she undressed and asked me to fuck her and all that but she said she wasn't herself back then and that I should have stopped the date right when she said "I don't know if I'm ready" when we were kissing on my bed (I slowed down then and talked while making out until she removed her dress)

But yeah apparently she undressed completely against her consent and had sex without wanting too and she's had a few really really tough days because of it according to her, I feel guilty as fuck. I mean, I think ? She undressed herself and put the condom on my dick and seemed to just have fun from the moment she undressed but according to her it wasn't out of consent after all

I'm so depressed right now. Previous lay had those deep pains that made her stop the sex and be very mad at me afterwards (even though she said the pain was a disease and not my fault). This one seemed to have such a blast and told me of so many plans she wanted to try, was still kissing me in public after the date and now she's pretty much saying she feels she got raped. My self confidence's below 0 right now, I don't want to traumatize women. Is alcohol the issue ? I don't pay any but both of those women paid a drink for themselves and then seemed to have so much regret after sleeping with me. Should I really forbid them from buying alcohol? Seems so cringe

So yeah I don't feel too good here
 
Oh yeah I guess my post wasn't very clear but my dilemma is : how to be 1000% sure a girl won't have regrets? I know for sure I don't ever want any girl to tell me she feels she wasn't fully consent ever again

Should I ask them not to order any alcohol? Should I ask multiple times before any gesture like grabbing breasts ever ? I feel genuinely scared now I think I'll have some real confidence issue the next time a girl comes home

Think I'd rather forget women for a few days now, those texts were traumatic. Just wish every single girl wasn't a trauma
 
Trèfle said:
But yeah apparently she undressed completely against her consent and had sex without wanting too and she's had a few really really tough days because of it according to her, I feel guilty as fuck. I mean, I think ? She undressed herself and put the condom on my dick and seemed to just have fun from the moment she undressed but according to her it wasn't out of consent after all
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She’s just looking for an excuse not to feel like a slut and is playing the victim card, not your fault. You handled correctly.

I’ve had a girl who begged me to fuck her all night, after round 1 she asked me to go home. I was her rebound and she thought sex would feel like revenge but it made her feel bad. You don’t always control a girls emotions.
 
pancakemouse said:
Do you comfort them after sex?
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I'd say I do at least. I always spend time on the pillow telling them I had a great time, that they look really good, that I'm looking forward to meeting again and would love to explore one of her fantaisies next time ect
 
Things have been very interesting since last time. Still struggling with diet consistency, less so though. Depression have been completely gone - managed to lessen my women obsession to enjoy other hobbies while still going on as many dates as possible

Got 2 more lays since last time and are really worth talking about. One who was a virgin (I still managed to get laid on the first date with her) who now drives 1 hour from her home once a week just to spend time with me. She's super grateful, always thankful for the time spent together and willing to learn - she never did anything with a guy before me so I'm teaching her everything, blowjobs, handjobs, and got plans to help her discover a lot of things since she's very curious about everything (ordered a BDSM starter pack, should be useful).

Second one was my first "daygame" lay yesterday ! In "" because I didn't exactly approach her (really struggling to force myself to go back to daygame, struggling with low confidence after that fat gain and I got rejected very harshly the first time I tried), it happened because of pure luck. I was going to my Sunday date when a homeless guy fell down the stairs of the subway station, so I stayed around to help and this very cute 18 yo girl stayed with me. Used the opportunity to chat, so I took her number and invited her for a drink.

Wasn't sure what to expect on the date since I didn't even approach her and all but she was completely having a big crush on me immediately, touching me a ton at every opportunity during our date. I wasn't even planning to sleep with her on the first date after she talked about a tough sexual past (got raped when she was little...), figured I'd wait until our next meeting so after a really good chat I said something like "been fun, I'll drop you home for tonight but I'm looking forward to next time" but she seemed shocked I was even considering leaving / clearly didn't want me to so after hesitating I invited her to my place which she accepted immediately. Really didn't have any effort to do in my bedroom, could tell she really wanted to start kissing, faced 0 kind of resistance when undressing her. Had a great time and she expressed a great deal of desire to see me again. Talked about maybe fucking at the cinema. Walked her home because it turns out we're neighbors, kissed for like 15 mins straight before parting ways. Really great girl, looking forward to seeing her again

My looks are way worse than when I started (used to get compliments on my looks during dates but it doesn't happen anymore with this added fat) but I'm not doing that bad ! Mood is way better. I started adopting this mindset that every date with a girl is my last one with her, that she won't want to meet again. Might sound bleak but it's really preventing some disappointment and depression. I think I'll be real sad if the subway station 18 yo doesn't want to meet again though

There was also some very interesting other dates : that cute 21 yo last Sat who lost her virginity very recently, declined the offer to come to my place but it was a great date, felt a ton of closeness, walked together hand in hand when I walked her back. Had foreplay on the 3rd date last week with a girl with an amazing body last week, she still refused to kiss but I played with her butt and breasts through clothes for a while in my bedroom, not that bad. Hoping I can seal the deal on our next date. There was also a girl last Monday who was on my bed on the first date but I panicked a bit because she really needed to grab a bus, rushed things too much and she got scared and asked me to walk her back and doesn't want another date. Also the girl who's virginity I took is coming back on Friday, looking forward to it

Not doing that bad
 
Doing pretty good I'd even say.

Glad that you got over that girl that tried to guilt trip you after having sex with you. You did nothing wrong, it's sad that she was unhinged
 
Had pretty bad depression for the past week, almost entirely because I quickly figured out I wasn't going to see the subway station girl from last week again. I just don't understand this gender. When I was fucking her she really wanted to know if I wanted to see her again and seemed so happy when I said I did, we spent a while talking about what to do on future dates, we kissed so much when I dropped her at her home... And then a few days later I sent her a "hey how are you?" text, got a "doing great thanks how about you?" answer, I tried to setup a second date and, yeah, no answer at all. Tried texting her again a while after in case but still nothing. Women really don't make much sense do they

Really gotta work on those attachment issues, I get super depressed when a girl I dig doesn't want to see me again, even worse when they just ghost without bothering to answer. I can't develop this kind of attachment after 1 date, no matter how great it was. I'm sure I'll toughen up overtime. Really thinking about her a lot, didn't help that I struggled getting new dates those last few days ; spent so much time working on getting out of depression that I really don't work on my profile these days. Gotta work on that, still kinda working on getting back into a good lifestyle first (yday was my first workout in more than 2 weeks)

Had a date with a 18 yo very attractive girl today, went horribly. It's not like I did badly or something, it's just that I could tell from the start she was not attracted to me at all, extremely noticeable. I still played my usual agressive game but obviously she declined the invite to my place and made it obvious in a nice way we weren't going to meet again. A bit saddening but yeah I don't look great at all right now; very unkept too (haven't had a haircut in almost 2 months, can't even afford that until early December - not mentioning the fat gain from the tough weeks. Will get a new job soon for those money issues but not feeling ready just yet)

Sometimes I feel like I'm not progressing, going backwards, letting too much stuff bring me down easily. There's truth to that, otherwise I wouldn't have those troubles of stuffing myself with food each time a girl makes me sad, but I do feel I'm learning a lot, despite the temporary damages to my apparence (I ate well despite the terrible date tonight which feels like a step in the right direction). Haven't had much people in my life so far, I get attached way too easily clearly, but my social skills are so much better than what they used to be, and I do feel like I understand how to balance agressiveness and niceness. Plus, no matter how many setbacks I get, I had the first 6 lays of my life ever since I signed up here - terrible retention but that's not the priority right now (and I do have this very faithful girl who drives 1 hour to see me tomorrow night again, I even told her she's free to see more guys if she wants but she made it clear she's very happy with me being the only penis inside of her). Doesn't feel like the worst number considering all the side issues (can't do nightgame, way too expensive right now). My progress may be slow but I do feel like I'm making some, mentally at least (not struggling with food on most days right now so the appearance feels under control)

Today's date, feeling super unattractive, made me think I really don't have much of a point getting started with daygame yet. I know it's an excuse, that there's no reason not to start considering my last lay was met in the day time, but I'd really rather wait until I look clean with a good haircut next month to feel better about it. Will be fun to fuck my ex-virgin tomorrow, really need it after that date
 
You have the same issue as some other members where you’ll spent your time overthinking and being sad about whatever happened in the past.

Try to become very stubborn and even a little bit petty when these things happen. And instead of being sad, you use that negative emotion as fuel to your fire
 
kratjeuh said:
You have the same issue as some other members where you’ll spent your time overthinking and being sad about whatever happened in the past.

Try to become very stubborn and even a little bit petty when these things happen. And instead of being sad, you use that negative emotion as fuel to your fire
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Yeah, I think some of it comes down to still getting used to the whole hookup culture too, hearing about how much a girl wants to see you again but then she changes her mind. She was my first one met outside of dating apps so I really didn't expect that ghosting, guess things aren't that different outside of Tinder

I'll move on, been a couple of days since those ignored texts. Just gotta think about the next girls
 
Trèfle said:
Yeah, I think some of it comes down to still getting used to the whole hookup culture too
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This is with everything in life. If you struggle with it in dating, surely you’ll struggle with it in some other part of your life as well.

Personal example (hopefully this motivates you)
I’ve played for the same club for 10 years. This year they found a new player and reduced my pay. The new guy flopped and they want me back.
I asked for a higher pay because I felt abandoned. They said no and now I found a new club who are going to pay me more than what I asked my old club.
If for some reason we draw my old club, everyone knows I’ll win my match. I’m way too fucking petty to let someone fuck with me like that
 
kratjeuh said:
Trèfle said:
Yeah, I think some of it comes down to still getting used to the whole hookup culture too
Click to expand...

This is with everything in life. If you struggle with it in dating, surely you’ll struggle with it in some other part of your life as well.

Personal example (hopefully this motivates you)
I’ve played for the same club for 10 years. This year they found a new player and reduced my pay. The new guy flopped and they want me back.
I asked for a higher pay because I felt abandoned. They said no and now I found a new club who are going to pay me more than what I asked my old club.
If for some reason we draw my old club, everyone knows I’ll win my match. I’m way too fucking petty to let someone fuck with me like that
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That's a really inspiring post actually. You can get tossed out at any moment in any area, you just gotta use it as fuel to pursue even better things instead

I'll remember that the next time a girl doesn't want to see me again after sex, thanks a lot
 
Trèfle said:
That's a really inspiring post actually. You can get tossed out at any moment in any area, you just gotta use it as fuel to pursue even better things instead

I'll remember that the next time a girl doesn't want to see me again after sex, thanks a lot
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Yeah that's really good advice. This is something I struggle with myself. You kind of just have to assume that whenever a girl leaves your place/sight etc, that it'll be the last time you'll see her. It sucks, but girls' feelings and interest levels are quite fickle.

Easier said than done though. The solution is to get enough abundance so that you don't get hung up on any one particular girl.
 
Squilliam said:
Trèfle said:
That's a really inspiring post actually. You can get tossed out at any moment in any area, you just gotta use it as fuel to pursue even better things instead

I'll remember that the next time a girl doesn't want to see me again after sex, thanks a lot
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Yeah that's really good advice. This is something I struggle with myself. You kind of just have to assume that whenever a girl leaves your place/sight etc, that it'll be the last time you'll see her. It sucks, but girls' feelings and interest levels are quite fickle.

Easier said than done though. The solution is to get enough abundance so that you don't get hung up on any one particular girl.
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No, no, no. Don't *expect* anything, but assume they're coming back. Assume success without *expecting* it. If it falls through, you're allowed to feel whatever you feel. You're just not allowed to dwell on it and dwell on it and stew on it and then skip your workout and order pizza and then fap 3 times.

Abundance isn't the only solution, and frankly, its the worst one. If your mindset and attitude was correct, then your life is not ruined regardless of whether you're in a girl tornado or wasteland.
 
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