- Joined
- Jan 19, 2021
TEST
Astronaut said:Hey man, I've been checking in to your thread, haven't read most of it so not super informed about your situation. To me, it's extremely strange how bad your dates are going. The chicks not talking, etc.
So my first question:
Maybe you could post some sample conversation here from one of the dates, just from memory? Because I think there might be an issue there, maybe the tone of the conversation was too tense. Or quirky. I'm just guessing here.
I usually have no problem making girls talk, finding out what they're passionate about, etc. I think it's necessary to give them space to open up before anything else can happen. I mean even them talking about astrology bullshit is interesting sometimes, just because I don't know anything about it myself.
If she's strangely silent, I'd make that a conversation topic. Like asking her about it, if she's usually like a silent kind of person, see what she says. And if that's really the case, then ask her what's dating like as a silent person, doesn't it get boring etc. That could be enough to crack open a genuinely silent girl and get her talking.
Second question:
Why do you refer to yourself as a low SMV man? Maybe you have good reasons, but if you could list some then that'd be helpful.
EDIT: When I was starting out with all the dating stuff, the first ones ended up going strange, as they always do. I treated each one of those dates as a learning opportunity and wrote up a log of (0) summary, (1) what was good, (2) what was bad, (3) improvements for the next time. I kept doing the log after each one of the dates,
Those improvements included stuff like:
- good/bad conversation topics
- good/bad jokes
- small things like sitting 90-degrees and not across each other,
- going for a kiss in the end,
- topics that I would talk about myself, the way I presented myself and told my "story",
- better understanding of her dating app profile (if she ended up looking different, or not the personality I was looking for),
- choice of venue
- moments where I lost frame due to anxiety
I kept doing the log when I started seeing a girl repeatedly that I ended up being in a relationship with for about 2 years. I have documented the lessons from the first 5-6-7 or something dates with her, and more whenever there were challenges that I wasn't prepared for.
seanconneryfan_ said:you know this but i found the dates i went on when i was exhausted after a day of work or a night of sex were some of the most important in my development. by not succumbing to excuses in those moments and pushing your boundary, 1) it proves that you can handle your business even in the "worst" circumstances and 2) approaching/dating isn't scary nor hard at all.
btw, sick in bed, can anyone send me a pdf of the golden eagle project? netflix is getting boring.
You're right, that's fairMakingAComeback said:Thanks for your post. Might we agree that there is some skimming going on here? ;-) Context gets lost, and it's understandable. Thanks for sharing but I can't really engage with this post as it is ground I have already covered
MakingAComeback said:I am a bit further down the line, but still, need to learn and relearn lessons ALL the time, so I thank you for your post it's useful. I am a beginner (been on about 50-60 dates, done around 600 day game approaches, 7 lays and did have 1 FWB for 4 months). I don't count stats or log anything numbers wise so these are ballpars. I've been ALL IN since Nov 2021.
MakingAComeback said:I am unsure of your experience level but I'd love to see a log, see daily posts, and see if you really know your shit. Maybe we can see you post up and achieve your goals. I'm sure you'll understand a solid individual who will succeed is rare, and many men are weak sacks of shit who will amount to nothing. Perhaps we can agree that neither of us have any use for such people. Better to be around people who are serious anout their goals, and actually execute and achieve. If you ever wanna start a log, I'll read it man.
MakingAComeback said:Going to say, however, going for the kiss at the end of dates was a big mistake for me and was a lesson I had to learn. I respect this may work for you, but it is a killer of outcomes for so many and I'd urge someone to test and find out if it works for them. People like Caleb Jones strongly advise against it. I also would never do it again, it as a terrible idea and killed so many dates for me.
Astronaut said:You're right, that's fairMakingAComeback said:Thanks for your post. Might we agree that there is some skimming going on here? ;-) Context gets lost, and it's understandable. Thanks for sharing but I can't really engage with this post as it is ground I have already covered
MakingAComeback said:I am a bit further down the line, but still, need to learn and relearn lessons ALL the time, so I thank you for your post it's useful. I am a beginner (been on about 50-60 dates, done around 600 day game approaches, 7 lays and did have 1 FWB for 4 months). I don't count stats or log anything numbers wise so these are ballpars. I've been ALL IN since Nov 2021.
No idea about the dates, but you've done a good ~570 day approaches more than me haha. Never been a fan of those after discovering the dating apps. Tinder for me is very location-dependent though, I'm sure I'd be struggling in London big time.
MakingAComeback said:I am unsure of your experience level but I'd love to see a log, see daily posts, and see if you really know your shit. Maybe we can see you post up and achieve your goals. I'm sure you'll understand a solid individual who will succeed is rare, and many men are weak sacks of shit who will amount to nothing. Perhaps we can agree that neither of us have any use for such people. Better to be around people who are serious anout their goals, and actually execute and achieve. If you ever wanna start a log, I'll read it man.
Yeah I tried making a thread here, but... I don't know, something keeps me from posting every day. My thread needs to be about business and in a different forum. The focus of this forum is on other things. For habits & quitting porn, running a thread is a little bit of an overkill, for me at least. But I'm glad that I tried, wanted to do it for a long time since finding Andy's shit.
About experience, I think I've just found what works for me when it comes to sex & dating. I have my own style of humor, do things that I'm comfortable with on dates. I mean, after having 4-5 relationships and banging ~40-50 chicks... sex becomes kind of like money. A problem only when you're not getting any. Still a ton of fun, but the main focus of life lies elsewhere.
And it's not like I've been successful from beginning, I had my incel/TRP phase as well with all the mental turmoil caused by it.
You know, it's the kind of "I'm the prize" mindset I guess. I think approaching on the street conflicts with that. At least the systematic kind of approaching. When I see someone interesting I wanna talk to, I usually do it. But most of the time, I'm too busy for that.
It's one of the reasons why I feel out of place on this forum, as well. With all the focus on sex and dating, I've been there, so I'm just trying to help out with my advice whenever possible.
But, your post made me realize how personal my style actually is. And while it works for me, my advice won't actually apply to everyone. So thanks for that.
MakingAComeback said:Going to say, however, going for the kiss at the end of dates was a big mistake for me and was a lesson I had to learn. I respect this may work for you, but it is a killer of outcomes for so many and I'd urge someone to test and find out if it works for them. People like Caleb Jones strongly advise against it. I also would never do it again, it as a terrible idea and killed so many dates for me.
Interesting! I watched his video, was never aware of that.
I guess the difference is that I do less kino on the actual first date, like not touching and not building up that sexual tension too much. A little touching, but not really going out of my way to kino. I mean, she's a new fucking person after all, and I need to get comfortable with her as well lol. And then going for the kiss in the end of that "low-kino" date, if the conversation was good and I like her.
I'm really comfortable doing it that way, especially that little moment of silence/tension that builds up when you're walking out of the venue and getting ready to say goodbye. Priceless.
But I can totally see that point with the sexual tension dissipation through the kiss. With low-kino, kissing in the end is actually the opposite. It builds up sexual tension right at the end of the date, leaving her wanting more for the 2nd one. Because there's nothing to dissipate.
Bonus: If she's a shit kisser (happened only once, but it was really shit), then I'm not gonna want to see her again, because shit kissing = shit sex. So a filter as well in that sense.
Sometimes there's lotta kino and kissing happening during the first date, it ends up being a one-night stand anyway. Sometimes they just go like that, like when I see that the girl wants it, I just go along with it.
MakingAComeback said:This will be self therapy on Sundays.
I hustle hard but also need to take time to myself.
Bman said:MakingAComeback said:This will be self therapy on Sundays.
I hustle hard but also need to take time to myself.
I always try to take Sunday just for myself. No dates, no work. I still hit the gym, but that's because I love going to the gym. Usually try to do recovery type activities like sauna and Wim Hof breathwork and stuff I really enjoy doing like reading, writing, and watching movies.
You hustle hard man. Everyone needs a day off.
Defzo, for biz specifically I can recommend the fastlane forums (all kinds of stuff, local/online) and buildersociety (more online oriented, building websites mostly, but also agencies/freelancing and whatever else you can do online).MakingAComeback said:Business focus: most here are ambitious, trying to win big, fuck stunners and make bank. It's not a space which is just about getting laid, and Andy will be making a lot more biz content I think. I myself work on dating hardcore 6/7 days a week, and also hustle with trying to get myself rich with the same fervour.
MakingAComeback said:I have read your post and do appreciate your thoughts, but would like to add, that generating attraction and creating sparks and connection is something that is in the largest part influenced by the way you look IMO. Hence, yes it's an individual thing as you say, but beyond that, we still have room to move and infuence. You rightly elude to this in your post and you figured out a style that works for you. I am interested in what a guy who is low in SMV can do to overcome this: we still need to find a way to get a guy laid who is otherwise not going to be in with much of a shot.
Mimbe393939 said:A wise man once told me
we are going to show the world what heads of steel can do.
Nice makeout/night game sesh with the boys
PHONEIX WILL BE RAINING HELL FROM THE AIR
Take your deserved rest today, enjoy
THEY DO NOT KNOW WHAT IS COMING
Astronaut said:Defzo, for biz specifically I can recommend the fastlane forums (all kinds of stuff, local/online) and buildersociety (more online oriented, building websites mostly, but also agencies/freelancing and whatever else you can do online).MakingAComeback said:Business focus: most here are ambitious, trying to win big, fuck stunners and make bank. It's not a space which is just about getting laid, and Andy will be making a lot more biz content I think. I myself work on dating hardcore 6/7 days a week, and also hustle with trying to get myself rich with the same fervour.
MakingAComeback said:I have read your post and do appreciate your thoughts, but would like to add, that generating attraction and creating sparks and connection is something that is in the largest part influenced by the way you look IMO. Hence, yes it's an individual thing as you say, but beyond that, we still have room to move and infuence. You rightly elude to this in your post and you figured out a style that works for you. I am interested in what a guy who is low in SMV can do to overcome this: we still need to find a way to get a guy laid who is otherwise not going to be in with much of a shot.
Yeah agreed, I've put on some muscle, got lucky with the height as well at 190. Not the fuckboy vibe that most of you guys are going for here, with the chains and tats. But you're also gunning for younger chicks, so I guess the style has to match.
But man, you're by no means ugly or anything like that. I mean, you're tall as fuck. Average face - sure - but let's be honest the cards you've been dealt are a lot better than many other guys out there. I mean imagine doing dates/pickup being 150-160-170cm tall when most women are your height or taller than you.
I'm aware of the fact that you're brown-skinned and whatnot, and that probably knocks your attractiveness down a few notches for some girls. There's that and your average face. That's it. I don't think you're that massively handicapped in the physiology department when it comes to dating. With proper work, muscles, posture, etc. it's rather the opposite - you come out way above average.
So, you know, psychological & anxiety issues aside, on the genetics side of things it's really not that bad for you.
Your height can be intimidating for the girls, especially with cold approaches. Which means you'll have to be more careful with the more aggressive jokes & pick-up lines and the general tone of the conversation. Because even a hint of aggressiveness in a conversation with a tall guy will be instantly off-putting to many girls and they will not feel safe around you. Us tall guys, we have to be careful with that. But I'm sure you're aware.
Buuuuut yeah, keep slaying man I think you'll be out of this mess sooner than you know it. Also if you go online you can try living in Thailand, literally impossible not to get laid there, especially with your level of effort.
Astronaut said:AUTISM: 1
NORMIES 0
MakingAComeback said:There is one small, thin, very effeminate-looking man stealing glances at me. We lock eyes for a moment and I think, wtf, did I spill this dudes drink or something, is he mad? I look away, and notice he just can't stop staring at me. Then I realise, OMG dude, that's a gay guy - he is just eye fucking me. DAMN.
Is that true? I always thought that gay men and women had a different sort of attraction. I've been hit on by like 2 gay guys before lol. Some guy let me skip him in line at H&M, and proceeded to call me cute.Manly Cockfellow said:Gay men hitting on you/eye-fucking you is extremely strong evidence that you are succeeding in your goal of becoming an attractive man, because if multiple gay men think you are attractive then it is a certainty that many women do too, gay men are just much more open about their attraction, so you notice it first.
Squilliam said:Is that true? I always thought that gay men and women had a different sort of attraction.
Manly Cockfellow said:Astronaut said:AUTISM: 1
NORMIES 0
MakingAComeback said:There is one small, thin, very effeminate-looking man stealing glances at me. We lock eyes for a moment and I think, wtf, did I spill this dudes drink or something, is he mad? I look away, and notice he just can't stop staring at me. Then I realise, OMG dude, that's a gay guy - he is just eye fucking me. DAMN.
Gay men hitting on you/eye-fucking you is extremely strong evidence that you are succeeding in your goal of becoming an attractive man, because if multiple gay men think you are attractive then it is a certainty that many women do too, gay men are just much more open about their attraction, so you notice it first.
(of course your club make-out is even stronger evidence!)
Good to see having fun too, MAC!
If anyone deserves to have some fun after working their ass off it's you!