LAY #8: DOMINEERING POSH GIRL
This was an interesting experience, there’s highs, there’s lows. A real complicated insight into the human experience. Raw, painful, at times so beautiful, but human, all too human all the while….
We match on Hinge the week prior. Her comms are fairly good, and she looks cute. 20 year old University student, we’re having a good conversation, and she’s promising. She seems quite quirky, and is saving up for a 22 string harp.
I ask to exchange, and she sends me her number, also telling me the days she’s at work. We schedule the date for Thurs 15/09/2022.
Text her morning of to confirm, and she’s down. I go out to cold approach in Chelsea. I have a bit of a tough session, unable to approach much, and push myself to go 0/3. Changing locations can also throw up AA. London, with it’s blistering pace, is just plain difficult to approach, the endless paranoia and psychosis of the people endures.
I get home, shower up, slug a drink to unwind before the date. Listen to music, and head out to meet her at our agreed time of 8pm.
She texts to let me know she’s going to be 10 mins later as she got into an argument with her manager, who was expecting her to be in today, and that she’ll tell me all about it.
I chill in the bar, and she arrives.
Physically, she’s cute. Nice dark hair, green eyes, piercings. She has an almost alt look, with her dress and style. Body is good. Let’s go.
Right off the bat, she lets me know she is a chatterbox. I can’t really get a word in edgeways, she is going a mile a minute and just doesn’t stop. We’re vibing and talking about her life, travel, things like that. I lean into things I can tell she likes. It’s going well.
She’s fine with physical touch, all good signs.
I refer back to a conversation we had on Hinge, and ask her about True Crime. I tell her, we should watch some together tonight. She’s down. I ask her for her recommendation, and then say, let’s go for a drink at mine and we’ll watch it.
She’s down, no hesitation.
We finish our glass of wine and we go to mine. It’s easy, she’s endlessly talkative, the energy doesn’t change one ioata as I lead her to mine.
PULLED: ESCALATING
We head in. Quick tour. Pour her a drink, which she makes light work of. Show her the balcony. And then go to my room for Netflix and chill.
She is very domineering and also her energy changes when she gets in my room. She is examining the room and sees my wall of goals and affirmations, which she reads out loud and laughs at. She callls it the red flag wall and she begins trolling. Shit tests, standard stuff. I just laugh and roll with it.
We’re pulling up Netflix, and it seems like my brother changed his login details. So it’s not happening. She then rifles through my books. She’s reading them and laughing at me, and unfortunately I own a copy of The Forward Male by a now totally discredited pick up instructor who had a short-lived, fleeting influence on our thinking, before many of us realised he was a total fantasist and psychopath with nothing of value to contribute. She laughs her head off.
She goes on this rant about how men who read books like this are trying to be Alpha Males, because they didn’t have many friends growing up, and how she is more of an Alpha Male than anyone who would read this sort of thing.
I am sat next to her on the floor giving no fucks.
“Let’s have a drink and listen to music”
Put on my standard go to, Cigarettes After Sex
“Oh not Cigarettes, this is standard man whore music”
Again, I just laugh.
When you deal with women and have shit tests thrown your way so often it just becomes second nature, this is how frame is developed, learning occurs in your brain and is reinforced behaviourally again and again.
She sits on my computer chair and we chat and drink, I am sat on my bed.
I need to go pee. “I’m listening, I just need to go pee, but I’ll be back in a sec” I tell her and them lean down and make out with her.
Come back into my room.
Sit on my bed, and tell her to come over. She does right away. We’re sat on my bed cross legged facing each other. I tell her to get closer. She says how can I get closer and kinda laughs, and she gets super close and sits on top of me, wrapping her legs around me. My hands go under her skirt and feel her ass. Her ass feels great. This is a hot position.
We makeout for a bit.
Take my top off. She trolls me a little for being hairy. Note that I shave down so there’s just like black specs/dots. Nothing I care about.
I then go to take her dress off. It comes off. Struggle with her bra strap a little, but it goes off.
Lay her on the bed, makeout, lick her tits.
Go to put a condom on. Let’s get lay 8!
ROUND ONE: GIN DICK – FUCK!
This chick has been drinking with me and I am struggling to keep up with her pace, and dammit, my dick is not getting fully hard!
I try to put it in, and we’re not hard enough.
“Haven’t you seen the size of my boobs? Get hard!”
I tell her I need some water, and I’m going to punish her for this.
She laughs, and calls our my poor tolerance. It’s not that my tolerance is poor, shes just a hard drinker.
I go chug a bunch of water.
Come back and continue making out, go down on her which she loves. Dick is perking back up. At one point during giving her oral, she aggressively grabs me and pulls me up and passionately makes out with me. “Are you hard yet?” “Yeah”
She puts me in and we start fucking missionary. She’s loving it. We switch to doggy, she is wild and loving it.
…..and then all of a sudden, she stops, leaps up, and tells me she has to go pee.
I’m like…..OK?
TRAUMA RESPONSE: GIRL BEGINS TO CRY
She comes back from the bathroom in floods of tears.
“I’m sorry, but the last time I had sex, I was raped”
My heart broke for her.
She comes and lays down on my bed, leans into me and begins to cry a lot.
She tells me what happened to her a few weeks prior. She was actually raped on a night out. It’s shocking, shocking stuff. She got blackout drunk, left with a dude, ended up in a field or wooded area somewhere, and told me she just woke up with mud over her and not having any recollection of what happened. She realised she was slipped a date rape drug, she got roofied. It is a truly vile experience, and men who do this are the scum of the earth. Simply monsters. There are people in this world who are evil, bad actors. They will destroy anyone and anything to get what they want, and if it’s sordid sexual pleasure, so be it. Scum, pure and simple, may they rot.
She tells me how she went to the Police, and it wasn’t taken seriously. How a rape kit was used, and seemed to be fuddled through and not properly executed, culminating in the Police not being able to do anything other than a ‘wellness check’ a few days later. It left her totally destroyed. She is a strong minded and very confident, dominant girl, but she has had a tonne of trauma in her life which I’d go on to learn.
I just go into therapist mode, listening, ensuring her she is safe, and she vents for about 45 minutes.
She was in an abusive relationship with a guy who sexually assaulted her many times from the age of 16-18, while they were both in school. He seemed to be an unfeeling psycopath.
Her Dad, a CEO of an investment bank, seemed to have narcissistic and sociopathic tendencies and was something of a tyrant since her early childhood.
She was a boarding school girl, she attended one of England's most expensive and prestigious schools in Oxford. In the all girls dorm, they seemed to engage in some rather libertine and free spirited sexual behaviour.
All in all, she has her share of trauma. I’m just listening and just giving her space.
I am quite fearful at this stage, because she is touching on such volatile subject matter that I have to tread so carefully it’s unreal, and cannot trigger or make a wrong move here.
I’m kinda stroking her, hugging her, and tell her she does need to get herself into therapy. She says she’s been in it 3 times. I tell her she’ll figure it out.
We’re both in close, and she starts to just go back to normal. She’s over the emotional response. She starts chatting normally, like she was before. We’re making out again. I didn’t think we’d have sex after all that. I ask if I can go down on her again, she nods her head and smiles.
Eat her out, and she’s loving it. She does what she did last night, aggressively rips me up and starts making out with me.
ROUND 2: A STRANGE MOMENT FOR MAC
So this was unexpected, but she is just insanely horny now. Like, insane. She is demon possessed and just wants her brains fucked out. She grabs my dick, which has no condom on, and forces it in her. I have never in my whole life fucked a girl with no condom. I am shocked, a bit hurt, and also really fearful – she has been so emotionally volatile, and has expressed deep trauma, if I trigger her, I will be at her mercy and in her unstable state of mind and clear built up toxicity, there is scope for me to find myself in a difficult situation.
I just roll with it. Before we had sex, we talked about sexual health tests, and she assured me she always uses condoms, has a sexual health screen every 6 months, and was taken through a rape kit a few weeks prior which does test for STIs. She had not had sex since then. And she also was clear she has been on birthcontrol since she was 16.
Either way, this is just a messy situation and I just want to get out of it unscathed.
She has her legs wrapped tightly around me and wants to be fucked silly. She is getting off life crazy. We go into doggy and she is moaning quite loud. She is really going for it and my bed is moving all the way across the room. Crazy.
We go back into missionary, and I pull out a few of my tricks.
“You’re good”
She is having a good time, and the sex is honestly really fun.
I then am about to cum and I try to pull out. She literally wraps her legs around me and makes me cum inside her. I am fucking shocked. This person is crazy and this whole scenario is chaos.
I cum hard and can barely move and she is immediately wanting round 3.
“I didn’t cum! I need to cum! It’s not fair, men have orgasms and women take longer, I was close. Put it back in NOW”
She is really pressuring me and then grabs my soft dick and starts jerking me off hard.
“Get hard NOW, you’re a man, just look at my boobs”
I am just stunned by this behaviour but I kinda collapse on her to contain her for a while. Makeout a little.
“Are you hard now?”
“Yeah”
She grabs it and sticks it in.
We go again. Missionary, doggy, this time doggy is kinda interesting she basically just lays down flat and I’m hitting it from the back which is fun and I also like the view. But she is demanding I make her cum, so I get her back into missionary, and get really deep by putting my hands under her ass/hips and lifting her up a little and pounding her hard for a while.
She tells me she’s close. She’s about to cum. She’s cumming.
“I’m good”
The second she says that, I pull out. I don’t want to take this any further.
It’s 230am. We fucked for 2-3hours. A good marathon sprint.
“Well your goals wall says you’re trying to lose weight, I’ve helped”
I couldn’t help but feel a little violated that she made me not only go raw, but cum inside her. I was very vulnerable to her as she unloaded so much of her trauma on me, outlined her experience with dealings with the police, and put me on a knife edge where I couldn’t trigger her. Getting up and saying, look, no, this is not OK, could have potentially triggered her to totally lose it and she could have said or done anything. This could have put me in a very difficult position.
Men in the UK only need to put a finger out of place, and they’re done. Reputation destruction is immediate. You lose all employability within a day. It’s a fucked up society, and the West is truly in such decline it is tragic.
We go to bed. She can’t sleep without a night cap and her medications. She just opts to watch a documentary. She asks me if I want to watch it with her, I tell her I’m going to bed. She takes the right side, my normal side, and I leave her to it.
“I can’t believe you just let me stay on the right”
“I’m not bothered”
We do some small talk, bit of pillow talk. She doesn’t really want to cuddle, a tell tale red flag of a psycho.
Ask her a few Qs:
Q:What did you think when you first saw me?
A: Is this a Bi man?
(Interesting, she thought I see both sides like Chanel. I’m straight as an arrow, I’ve had guys express interest, I simply am very straight)
Q: At what point did you think we were gonna have sex?
A: I didn’t know, for me until we’re having sex, I don’t know it’s going to happen. I use Hinge to find people to sleep with. Plenty of times I’ve gone to someone’s house and just fallen asleep in their bed without even having sex.
Q: What type of guys are you attracted to?
A: Erm, I don’t know. Tall, with earnings.
(I have a quite large gold hoop)
We chat a little, and she tells me she’s a sociopath. I suspected as much. I ramble a little. She lets me know she won’t ghost me, she’ll probably sleep with me again. I don’t really care. I don’t think I’d see her again, even though we fucked like wild animals, I feel violated by her and do not like domineering women.
MORNING AFTER
I didn’t get any sleep. I kinda roll in close to her at 9am to test the waters. Some physical touch. She’s not receptive. I go in to cuddle. She pushes my face away. I just laugh. My priority is to ensure she is balanced, stable, feels positive about the encounter and feels as if she was treated with respect and dignity. That will be enough for her to move on and move forward.
I informed her I had a business meeting at 12. Plan was, we go for a coffee the morning after, and she makes her way home.
She isn’t getting out of bed.
930 hits.
“I will need to get moving and work. I can call you an Uber?”
“OK, you can call me an Uber, as long as it’s for free”
Sure. Just need her out of here and feeling normal.
She begins to get up, sort herself out. She’s not making eye contact and is grumpy. She seems a bit awkward.
“Sorry, I’m really not a morning person”
She works in a bar until 2am, gets home at 3-4, and sleeps until 4pm using medications, booze and whatever else. This is deeply unhealthy and will wreck your brain.
I’m bright and perky despite no sleep and just banter away.
She gets herself together, and we begin chatting. She is not making eye contact. I am a bit concerned.
She is also expressing an array of ticks and mannerisms indicative of experiencing negative emotion. She is itching her nose, rubbing under her nose, and otherwise showing the classic signs of a brain that is experiencing stress and negative emotion.
I use my management skills as ever, and just listen, maintain eye contact and groundedness, and let her calibrate and find centre.
She starts making eye contact again. She talks more and more and opens up. And she goes back to normal and is maintaining eye contact and not exhibiting ticks. She has understood I am safe and no harm and she is aware the Uber is coming. I make her a coffee, she sorts herself out.
Brief kiss as she’s heading out the door. She’s off!
Clean my place up. Biz meeting at 12. Crash in bed, cannot relax or sleep. Get up at 4 and do some menial tasks. Head out the door at 430 and make it to Wembley Stadium for a Jordan Peterson talk.
She removed me from hinge an hour or so after she left. That’ll be another ONS, another ghost.
You see it all living the life I live.
That’s the dating game.
Date, ghost.
Date, lay, ghost.
You see the madness of it all, the trials, tribulations. Drama. Deep pain, trauma. The game is lunacy. Epic highs, crashing lows, and an insight into the truth of human nature. Humans are a complex animal. There’s good, bad, mad, and everything inbetween.
We as men seeking excellence want as much positive, healthy, vibrant, loving, affirmative expressions of the human spirit we can find.
And we want to minimise the negative.
IMO, that can be done for a man in the setting of an elite level relationship with a quality woman, in a thriving family unit of people who have dealt with their shit and are healthy grounded people.
But current MAC can’t really get a girl to text him back, invest or form any sort of bond. So what the hell will I do?
I will have to become Top G.
I will have to become one of the greatest men in the world
Otherwise, this will be my life. I will leave no legacy. My blood line will end with me.
I can’t allow that.
8/10 for the year DONE.
2 more, and we set the next goal: Get money, travel, build myself into an elite male, and find the quality I seek.
Cross the ocean for a heart of gold.
KEEP HAMMERING,
MAC