SUP BROS
Well. I haven’t posted in 6 days. That’s unlike me, right?
What happened?
Went to Krakow. Really, really push my game. This was one of the best experiences for learning success and success with women I’ve had. I cannot explain it to you, because you won’t be able to discern the depth, the sheer excruciating depth of what we did.
Only the strong can survive these types of experiences. They open you up, carve you up man, and everywhere you are weak, everywhere you are scared and insecure, gets exposed to the light.
I had one MASSIVE breakthrough. I learn the sticking point at the absolute core of the current version of me: vibe.
Krakow, in general, hard work but an environment of greatness. I am grateful to be around other savages and also ENJOY our lives together. Socialise, laugh, have a good time.
With the ladies, it was hard work. But a great education. And a great motivator.
More gym, more archetype tweaks. I will gain some solid ass mucle, put an inch or two on my arms, chest, back. Get a large piece of tattoo work done on my upper arm. And my hair transplant will look banging in 6-8 month. By the time I am 32, in July 2023, I will have added maybe as much as half a point to my level of attractiveness. Going from 6 to 6.5 will be life-changing.
So, time to just stay focused, be grateful for what I have achieved, and keep moving towards success.
COVID & MINDSET CRISIS: CLEANSING THE PSYCHE?
I came back to London, and after an initial high for an hour or two, my mind and body just shut down. Sat down on my bed, and was just gone. Passed out.
Woke up incredibly sick. I’m in bed unable to move AT ALL for 3 days. I get a Covid test. Yep. I came down with Covid-19.
In bed for 6 days, processing so much, unable to even move, I had one of the toughest weeks of my journey.
My mind was ablaze with so much fear, limiting beliefs. My insecurities, my failures, they compounded and my mind was a cauldron of suffering the entire time. For the duration of the week, I did mindset work, which I think really opened up the dungeon. And out came the blackest and most gruesome thought and memory imaginable.
It was the heart of darkness, man. It was so tough.
A sense of bleakness, of sheer suffering, of the difficulties of the path. So many of my own failings came to the fore. The endless rejections, ghosting, the lack of investment from women. Having such a tough time finding someone worthwhile.
NONE of this is productive. This is the anti-thesis of what Andy has taught me about mindset.
I was kinda unable to hold back the stream, man. I think in Krakow we really uncorked something that had been laying dormant. And it finally came spilling out.
As I lay there doing mindset work for hours each day, my brain became a battleground.
The chaos that abound was brutal. And all the while, this really acute sense of loneliness, isolation, and a sense of time slipping away and getting away from me.
Much of this was my system just being so destroyed. There’s little sleep going on during this time and my heart is racing for days on end.
Fears of aging. Fears of this not working out. This feeling weighing upon me, this sense that something is missing. It’s a horrible feeling.
It goes on like this for 6 fucking days. I can’t even move and I can’t stop the flow of this insane bullshit.
I am just sat there with a journal, a notepad, breaking down all these thoughts and following them to the core. It’s all in childhood. The first times I experienced these things and the walls I put up, the boundaries and barriers I erected, and the things I told myself about myself.
I persist with my mindset work, visualisations, reprogramming the subconscious and having deeper and deeper realisations.
At the root, much of what hits me is the importance of being happy. This shit is meant to make your life better!
If you’re feeling raw, you have work to do on your head man.
SUNDAY: TIDE BEGINS TO TURN
And then I wake up, and I’m feeling a little better. And my mind is clearer and happier. I’m laughing again.
After doing fuck all for so long, I fell out of momentum and now have to build it back.
The hustle, the grind, the bitter push CAN be useful and important.
But when we become miserable, something has to change. It’s what is going on in my mind. Internally, I have huge limiting beliefs, low self esteem, and struggle to see how any chick would want to be with me.
WHY?
This is so fucking retarded. So many dudes wanna be friends with me, like hanging out with me, this has always been my experience in life. People fuck with me and I am a good dude. That’s great.
Does it make sense that if someone is female, they just won’t see anything positive in me / wanna know me?
Nah, it ISN’T true man. With me being a work in progress and all, I still smashed 8 chicks this year LOL.
From NOTHING!
That is bad ass dude. I am still living a good ass life and my potential is damn near limitless.
I just need to value myself way higher as a man, and know that there definitely are chicks who will like me. I just have to find ‘em.
STIFLEDNESS / CLOSED OFF VIBE
There’s blocks when it comes to expressing myself authentically and especially around chicks. I second guess myself a lot and don’t flow like I need to, and as such, don’t often enjoy dates and don’t allow positive emotions to arise like they should.
This, externally, manifests in the scarcity and also behaviours and energy which are not conducive with success.
I should be stoked about life. I should be blasting it in the gym, doing body progress shots every month, and be genuinely excited about building a slayer bod.
I should be stoked about the prospect of building a great bod, letting my newly implanted hair grow out, and getting a killer piece of tattoo work done.
All the while, man, I can work on being happier, more and more socially free, and reprogramming my brain and value system.
Time to ENJOY the process of doing the work and letting what comes, come.
Seeing myself as the best person I can be and being genuinely happy about that process is where this psyche needs to be. Not fretting about the following:
-Why am I getting so few leads?
-Why do I get very little returns in day game?
-Why do I practically always get ghosted from dates?
-Why have I only had 2 2nd dates?
-Why do so many of my dates suck and feature little attraction?
-What if I can’t actually physically make myself meet the looks threshold, then wtf am I gonna do, just cope?
Blah blah blah
Worrying about this shit does 0. You still have to show up and do the work regardless.
And more than not help, it makes your vibe and results worse!
So, fuck it, man.
So much of the mindset work I did during my week of sickness was about resolving internal barriers and allowing myself to be a happier human being.
It’s going to matter a lot, man.
If I was a happier human being, my vibe would be a lot better and I’d do better with women.
I could keep improving myself, train hard in the gym, let me hair grow out, get a tattoo, do some new pictures, make a lot of money and just be easy and peaceful inside.
HAPPINESS will come from abundance in: health, money, joyful experiences, and connection with the right sort of women who value me (and I value them).
I struggle to see how I COULDN’T find a gal if I was able to be attractive and come across really well. Why wouldn’t that happen? If I am killing it in life and internally, all is well, why would I be such a bad fit that the current bullshit of my dating and sex life would just continue?
Pain is often the best teacher.
I must heal, and increase my value, man. This is going to be a major piece of this transformation.
I will have to really get bodied up. Me with my current looks aint cutting it. I’ll need the boost a great body can give, and the boost a happy, peaceful mind adds to someone.
But before any of that, I just need to enjoy my life and take the pressure off. Learn a new way of seeing and being and allow myself to heal internally.
ONWARDS
I am way better, now. I am able to work more, go to the gym, and function more like normal. It’s going to be a while before I’m back to normal. Weights in the gym were WAY down, for example. But I trained hard.
POSITIVE SELF TALK,
MAC
in the dog pic
and 
to my profile, because it super screens for casual, very sexual, open-minded women who are either experienced with BDSM, weed and psychedelics or curious about them)