Hydro said:
You got this man. I like the fact that you're incorporating both maximizing looks and game. Bodymaxx, hair transplant and continuing to cold approach is great man!
Hydro said:
You got this man. I like the fact that you're incorporating both maximizing looks and game. Bodymaxx, hair transplant and continuing to cold approach is great man!
Thank you man.
I can't say to you that I've got this. I can say I think I will get my goals this year, I'll probably find a way to smash 4 trolls somehow.
Long term I am absolutely in fear and abject horror for how my future with women is looking.
That is not a good thing to wake up to every day. Lifes short. Better to be happy and forget about worrying. I know I am doing everything I can do. I will find other ways to be happy if it comes to it.
Anyway thanks bro.
--------------
DOUBTS
These come and go. I truly couldn't care less about them. Here is what my brain is manifesting right now:
My results are, in a word, horseshit.
But what can I do to improve them? Another 6 months in the gym and a decent head of hair may turn things around. Surgery is in August. I may get some ink too. I am working hard and my body will keep getting better. More professional photoshoots will follow and we shoot as friends fairly often anyway.
AGE
I am getting older now man. 31 next week. I am noticing wrinkles when watching myself on camera, signs of age. It is happening.
Girls asking my age and then unmatching is normal. It'll likely be worse with the incoming year.
Oh well.
RESULTS
The experience of mostly having to date unattractive undesirables, whom no one worth their salt would want, does make you see the harsher and darker side of life.
Is this really where I am? Is this what I am able to get? Was this what all that work was for?
What you want, and what you can get, are entirely different things.
And when you are concerned with a creature such as woman, it's just not a good situation. She decides. You need a mechanism to get access to someone whom you'd be interested in spending time with. These mechanisms are: Online dating, Day Game, and Nightgame. Otherwise, you have sheer chance. Sheer chance is proven to be a failure. That leaves optimising the mechanisms that remain. ROI on the applications is, frankly, poor. Day game has so far been quite harrowing, the outcomes are dire, we're talking almost a year of it soon (20hrs a week) with just 1 date who ghosted. Night game I prefer not to talk about and now seldom do it. For the past 9 months in London, I have been unable to get past 'hi' in interactions with women in bars and clubs. I will approach 20-50 at night, and have had nights where I have ran through everyone and everything, until it's 4/5am and only the cleaners are left, and I have honestly even hit on them. This is bad and makes me fear mortal fear for my future on this earth.
Given physical attraction is 90% of it for women, I can accept it. From their perspective, what they see when they look at me is probably not what they want to be with. When I think about it logically, I am OK with it. I have worked so hard on myself for so long that I should at least forgive myself for my shit results and appreciate myself for trying. It is good that I have given a lot of effort.
But clearly, I will need to innovate or find another way.
Classic self improvement, just improving your looks and playing the numbers game, seems to work - to a point.
It may be enough to get laid, sometimes, with totally unattractive women. It does not appear to be enough to actually find a woman who isn't a total undesirable.
This is where I am going to have to spend time thinking: WHAT THE FUCK CAN I DO ABOUT THIS?
Innovation will be necessary and I am going to have to think about other things I can do. Making a big brand, getting success, status, these may be the things I have to look at.
DEALING WITH THE PROCESS
The feeling of so much negative feedback from the environment tests your resolve. It is not a pleasant existence to get up and know you are going to get rejected for 20hrs that week. That you are going to like almost 2 thousand profiles that week and perhaps get 1 chick to send a half assed response which will fairly quickly fade into nothing amidst thousands of other messages. Going to night venues, approaching 20-30+ women, getting blown out for hours and hours.
It can give you this feeling that you aren't shit. But then put it in persective: I am applying myself. That is a good thing.
If I could find a way to get rejected a bit less, this would be good.
I will stay consistent with my physical transformation, allow more time to pass, get this surgery done, and see what happens.
I am open minded to the possibility that it could get better.
And if it does, I'll let ya know.
CARRYING ON WITH LIFE
Hung out with my boy Carl this morning which was great. When out, I got a text from the girl I went on a date with yesterday, I asked to see her again, she just responded asking me if I was high last night. Damn, that is rude man. I don't smoke weed. I don't smoke at all actually.
I was expecting a no connection text. While I don't think she wants to see me again, a text like this is plain rude.
Oh well. Onto the next.
I left Carl, and hung out in Central alone for about an hour. I wanted to approach but I was just so defeated today man.
Whilst I saw many attractive women, I just was not able to get the usual rebuffs, rejections, and just bullshit again today.
Had a few flakes last week, all my leads just stopped responding or sent one word responses 'nice' or 'ok'.
We can just chalk all this down to being the nature of the beast.
Next week is fresh and new and gives me a chance to try again.
MAC
And that's just the way it is.
______
Next week is a new week. I can try all over again. I will be turning 31, and at the very least, went from 0 to 6 lays at 30 which is good. I got back into approaching which is good. My future is looking uncertain and prospects for long term happiness are bad. It looks like I will have to fight agaisnt my situation bittetly while I am on this world. And this is so tiring man. it is just so tiring to have to do all this every day to shag undesirable fatties once in a while.
. Jk. As someone who has watched you make the transition, it's good to see you've gone from the resentful MAC to the MAC Daddy who is attracting worthy women into his life.
