first bumble date ever lol (mini-milestone because i previously
never got a single message from the app before my new pics. volume is still low tho).
https://streamable.com/b84fn4
In the interest of "providing value to girls" I thought of an experimental date idea where rather than just some drinks or tacos, I take the girl to a farmers market, make her curry at my place, and go from there. I hate having bullshit conversation and have no idea how to do that overly sexual dialogue style yet (could be learned tbh), and I think I would project my vibe better doing something I would already enjoy and showcasing more "practical" value than just autistically showcasing my music.
Obvious downside of this type of date is 2-3 hours long instead of 20-60 minutes, but upside of being "unique", I can get the vibe of the girl better, and she can see how I act towards other people. Plus there is way more time to get the girl to open up to me, and I literally don't have to pull. I also have food for myself later too.
The Rice and the Pool Noodle
We meet at the grocery store below my apartment.
She has huge
bazonkers. I stg she has F cups. and short pink hair and red eyeshadow or something. But huge
bazonkers.
We start heading up to the parking garage floor with my car.
But I forgot to start soaking the rice
I tell the girl we need to go to my unit real quick so I can soak the rice before we leave. Joked about how she's going to tell her friends later that "omg I met this guy and we immediately went to his place after 2 minutes after saying something about rice it was so weirdddd" and she giggled.
Then some guy knocks on the door while we are at my place.
He dropped his pool noodle onto my balcony ledge
these crazy ass mfers partying at 3:45 on a tuesday
ok if i die right now tell my mom i love her
hehehe ok
Jumped over the railing, walked over the ledge, and handed him his dumbass pool noodle.
Then we were off to the farmers market.
The Farmers Market
Chatted in the car, trying to probe the girl about what topic she would open up to as per my
date stack. I think I kept stalling at the specific details of what she likes/does and couldn't figure out the "emotional connection" part still because I'm a robot and need the mirror neuron hardware update. Will actually read this before I go on my next date.
Regardless, the girl was very feminine and had a super girly voice which was great. Had accidentally
Headed over to the market and I bought heirloom tomatoes,
giant! garlic, chicken thighs, and shishito peppers which are
not spicy but I'm making curry for an American so it's okay. They have a decent smoky flavor though.
Then I bought us bubble teas at a stand.
Since I literally have no plates (ok I have one now.........maybe...................) we headed over to Wal-Mart.
En route, I tried to get the girl to talk about her first job and crazy stories there, and also some of her past relationship stories.
The Curry
I had her chop the onions, tomatoes, and chicken while mansplaining and ranting about random cooking tips, like how to hold a knife properly, how moms never measure anything (although now I never measure anything either so I'm a mom now I guess), and how to properly cook rice.
Here's how to properly cook rice btw:
0. Make sure you have washed and
soaked! the rice for an hour already. To wash rice, pour some water into a bowl of uncooked rice, use your hands to mix it up, and dump out the cloudy water. Repeat 2-3x until the water isn't cloudy anymore.
1. Get water to boil in a pot with some salt and a tiny bit of coconut oil or ghee.
2. Put in the washed and
soaked! rice
3. The water's temperature will reduce so the water won't be boiling anymore, but it will get up to a boil again
4. Wait a few minutes and "test" one of the rice kernels by taking one out of the boiling water and biting into it. If it has a white "dot" inside, it's not cooked. Cook until you see no white "dot" inside the rice kernels
5. Turn off the stove, cover the lid and drain out all the water
6. Put a spoon of ghee onto the rice, mix it, cover the rice and let it steam for 5-10 minutes.
I'll be honest, while she was in the kitchen I wanted to
slap her ass and start doing mild escalation but I actually didn't have the balls to. This was an obvious opportunity to do it. Not sure if it's necessary to do it anyway, but I was mainly nervous about whether it would decrease or increase my chances of a lay in the bedroom, or if it has no effect. So I ended up just status quo-ing eghhhhh probably someone can give me advice.
Did I mention how she has
bazonkers
Then we sat next to each other on the sofa and ate the curry, and she ate it faster than I did.
i take that as a sign that you liked the curry
hehe
The Bedroom
Pretty much immediately pulled to the bedroom with "have you tried mango cream liqueur", which I had deliberately stowed in the bedroom ahead of time. Mainly so Troy and his girls don't steal it lolz!!!!! Might actually start having an actual alcohol setup in my room going forward.
I had bought the mango cream liqueur because I'm Indian, but I'd never tried it. Poured us small amounts to try...
it tasted like soap!
fucking GROSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
we're going to stick with coconut rum...
Standard escalation from here where I show her 2 of my songs, then threw on
maxwell - urban hang suite to begin the makeout, which I got. She was already leaning into me before a little bit.
We makeout for maybe a few minutes when she suddenly
gets up and sits up completely.
uhhhhhhh
I pretty much stay lying down and non-react. We look at each other for an eternity (ok like 30-60 seconds) and then I grab her arm and tell her to lie down again with me.
Cuddle, go for makeout again. Start feeling her up a little bit. She gets up and sits
again.
are u ok...
yeah
come lay down
Many rounds of this. I progressively tried to touch her in more and more sensitive areas but repeatedly got my hand batted away from her breasts/pussy region. Additionally I would move her hand over my chest, onto my bare chest (I had unbuttoned my shirt at some point), and she would enjoy it, play with my necklace, feel my chest etc, but would instantly pull back and resist when I tried to move her hand over my crotch area. Eventually she would randomly sit up again and stare at me, I would get her to lay down again, and then she would enthusiastically cuddle and nuzzle, only to repeat.
while cuddling and stroking her hair
are u ok...
yeah
are u worried we are going too fast
....yeah
well i'm a man and you are very cute. so this is what i do
One more round of the makeout + get up, but now I'm just irritated so I'm just like FUCK THIS and aggressively grab her leg and put her on top of me.
Now, to my mild surprise, she positions herself more comfortably and starts dry humping me cowgirl while continuing to make out with me. I am
diamond hard!
Finally, I pull her
slut strapless top down and expose the
BAZONKERS.
Start to squeeze and suck on them and also making out with her.
After maybe 2-3 minutes of that she "pats my chest" and gets up, pulls her top back up. Gets off the bed and stands and says
I think I'm going to go now
ok
ok in retrospect maybe i should have attempted to pull her pants down or told her to take off her bra (I had just pulled her breasts out but she never actually took her top/bra off.
Anyway, now she just blankly stares in the room and looks around for like a whole minute while I sit in bed and do nothing.
how about you stay for 30 more minutes
So she comes back on the bed.
I'm thinking, FUCK i am not about to get blueballed after what just happened.
Decide to future project the second date while we cuddle with a lil arcade skeeball-bowling alley.
omg!!! i love that place!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This time I get a makeout and I start to unbutton my jeans.
Then I move her hand over my underwear with my hard cock.
She doesn't pull back this time and starts caressing my cock and playing with my balls with
zero guidance from me other than putting her hand there. Yeah, exactly.
I try to put her hand down my pants, but she immediately completely disengages.
FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
TIME TO WHIP IT OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I expose my bare cock and start jerking off.
Then I start playing with her
bazonkers, including moving her strapless top down, without kissing her.
She complies, so I start making out with her again.
Then I move her hand over my bare cock and she starts jerking it.
I have to teach her how to do the rhythm I want using my
handjob tutorial and now it's good.
Then I pull back
suck my dick
...n...no??? <-- the nuance here was she was trying to be like "bad bitch" sassy but ended up just coming off really nervous so that was kind of cute actually
Disengage and relax for a second. Get everything going again with the breast fondling, her stroking my cock, and making out. This time I decide, ok fuck it time to explode.
I guide her with the proper rhythm and intensity again and let her go off to the races.
And then
explode!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! jets!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! all over my chest.
I quit everything immediately, pull her strapless top back up, pull up my pants, clean my chest with toilet paper, button my jeans and shirt.
ok you said you had to go right
yeah
So I walked her out to her car. Started bringing up the second date idea again while walking and how I'll beat her score, etc.
She didn't give me the "i'll find my car by myself" spiel at the bottom of the stairs, ok good sign.
Walked her to her car and then kissed goodbye.
ok that's it
did i mention she had bazonkers btw
update: story continued here https://killyourinnerloser.com/forums/viewtopic.php?p=42513#p42513