Update over the last few days:
Got my first lay from cold approach.
Met this girl on the street, had some good banter with her and one thing in common. Texted her later in the day and suggested a drink, she suggested that night. Took her to a bar and basically just teased her, acted cocky and threw some compliments in here and there. Got her to sit next to me from the start, went for the makeout after about 15-20 mins. Tried to get her to come back to mine that night but she said no.
Four days later, she came round for dinner (I cooked). She pulled the classic "I'm not gonna sleep with you tonight" line, so whenever she'd say something or pull back, I'd pull back completely and go do something else like change the song or get a glass of water. Rinse and repeat until I picked her up off the couch and into the bedroom. She was still hesitant, but once I started fingering her it was game over.
Sadly, she didn't message back the day after. I think it's because I kicked her out, which wasn't unreasonable at 10.30, but I think she was expecting to stay the night. I'm not upset really, but it'd be nice to know how to avoid this in future. I think she feels used... we did cuddle and everything afterwards but I think kicking her out was really unexpected for her.
Have another few dates from apps, mostly Feeld, over the next few days. One with a chick whose friend I've also been talking to, so could potentially have a threesome. I have a feeling she might flake though.
Also, the girl from the previous post isn't worth the effort to pursue. @troy has been helping me massively with advice on how to approach this whole situation and giving perspective. Massive thanks and shout out.
Even though she ticks A LOT of boxes I want in a woman for a family, here's why it's a bad idea:
- Over 30 - Women over 30 are looking for beta providers, 95% of the time. If she were so high value and had her head screwed on straight, she would've found someone in her 20s and had a family by now. Essentially, they have baggage.
- She's been manipulative so far with denying sex. Massive red flag.
- ALTHOUGH we have a lot of big things we agree on, she overinflates the intensity of these connections and commonalities, as well as her own sexual value to get away with the above. Basically lying or being dishonest. Communist parade level red flags.
Biggest lesson learned from this experience: Don't put women on a pedestal
I've read this so many times and applied it to girls I've seen from dating apps, but these girls were always 5-7s. Because this is cold approach and she'd potentially the hottest girl I've met, plus the connections we had, I thought differently.
This time, the lesson hits differently. A) because I'm logging it and writing about it here; B) because she is so hot and I did it through cold approach (after only doing it for a month).
Next time I get an 8 or above, I'm going to treat them the same as the 5s or 6s. No bullshit, no idealising, just go by the same playbook I usually do.
Moving forward, I really need to focus more time on my business. There are a number of big things I need to do in order to get it to where it needs to be by the end of the year so I can scale it next year.
I'm going to keep cold approaching to hit 150 approaches and I'll need to set a new goal after that, but this goal will actually become less of a priority.
The thing is with CA though, is that it needs to be consistent and become a part of what I do, much like the gym or my business.
I've also enjoyed the fuck out of CA. It's great for character development and learning more about women in general. I can't give it up, it's too fun.