If Scotty changed your life, consider donating (Andy's Log)

MILFandCookies said:
Yeah! You're probably already going to ask him - why does he suggest being non-direct when it comes to saying you're sleeping with other girls - by leaving earrings around etc. rather than being up front?

Also would most girls be into an open relationship if you approach it the right way in his experience? Or are there many girls that no matter what it's not an option?

Fukkin congrats btw. I know you look up to him a ton - it must feel nice to have this opportunity.
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He's been inspirational as far as older man/younger woman dynamics, also for screening for drama. I'd love to know more about his approach to dating/finding younger women (app vs. day vs. night game) and if there's anything he wish he knew when he had first started. Also would love to know how long his average MLTR lasts and if he has any advice on managing those relationship in the longer term (i.e. 1+ years). Any other lessons learned that he'd like to share that would be applicable to someone at my stage in life.

Congrats Andy!
 
In his open relationship manual (which I have a hard copy of), he is super explicit--monogamy absolutely does not work, and anybody who makes it work is doing so despite their biology (page 20 quote: "I'm against all forms of monogamy"). While monogamy is probably pushed too hard by our culture as the "default," this seems like kind of an extreme position. A buddy of mine that I'm helping talk to girls is absolutely dead-set on finding one awesome girlfriend (as opposed to multiple), and then marrying quickly. It just seems kind of ridiculous to think he definitely setting himself up for a life of misery and regret, but still should I try and talk him out of it? I've already tried and it hasn't worked, so probably can't change his mind at this point, but wanted to ask anyway.

Also, MILFandCookies and TheBastard touched on it a bit, but I am also interested in hearing more about the suggestion to dodge the question when a girl asks to know about the "status" of your relationship. Same deal with the cardinal rules, like absolutely never seeing a girl more than once a week, not initiating contact too often, etc.. Some of these rules and approaches seem kind of "gamey," and I'd like to hear about why they are necessary, as opposed to just complete 100% honesty about all aspects of the relationship.

(Another quote, from page 7: "Most men who attempt relationships like this [nonmonogamous] "screen" for women who already desire some kind of nonmonogamy. To me, this is way too much work." To me, it seems that Andy does literally exactly that--tells girls he wants something "casual" right away on Tinder, but it works just fine for him, and is not a ton of work).
 
KillYourInnerLoser said:
Mine is: "If you do choose monogamy, you need to understand EXACTLY WHAT YOU'RE SIGNING UP FOR. Have a longterm plan, both be building towards something, both be hardcore into self-improvement so you never get complacent/get fat/stop being attractive to each other/cheat, you need to have HARDCORE HONESTY and be willing to talk about EVERYTHING, you need amazing communication skills, you need to both write a 'relationship contract' so you know what you're signing up for (Imogen and I have done this even though we're not monogamous), etc".

In other words, BlackDragon says "To be safe, just don't do monogamy."

I say, "You can do it, but you need to go all-in and do EVERYTHING IT TAKES to make it work".
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I absolutely love this Andy, and this is it for me. I believe you are 100% correct on this. And I will be living this soon enough.

I'm stoked for the upcoming episode, cannot wait, and of course, Andy you totally deserve this win - you bust your ass and every single success you have is earned in full. Having read his site a bit more, and understood more of the context, I am now aware of how much of a win this is.

And there will be many more enormous wins for yourself, as well as us guys on the path to make something of ourselves.

Keep hammering,
MAC
 
KillYourInnerLoser said:
I don't agree with BlackDragon that monogamy cannot EVER work. However, I do agree with him that 99% of people are fucking dipshits when it comes to monogamy, and will cheat, or break up, or be unhappy after 30-40 years. We're in agreement on that.

His solution is: "So don't ever do monogamy".

Mine is: "If you do choose monogamy, you need to understand EXACTLY WHAT YOU'RE SIGNING UP FOR. Have a longterm plan, both be building towards something, both be hardcore into self-improvement so you never get complacent/get fat/stop being attractive to each other/cheat, you need to have HARDCORE HONESTY and be willing to talk about EVERYTHING, you need amazing communication skills, you need to both write a 'relationship contract' so you know what you're signing up for (Imogen and I have done this even though we're not monogamous), etc".

In other words, BlackDragon says "To be safe, just don't do monogamy."

I say, "You can do it, but you need to go all-in and do EVERYTHING IT TAKES to make it work".

But I can fully see why BlackDragon advises against monogamy. Again, 99% of people go into it with no gameplan, thinking love will keep them together. As I said to my girlfriend Imogen a million times in our first few years together, "Love is never enough."
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LOUDER SO THE PEOPLE AT THE BACK CAN HEAR IT

I seriously agree on this one.
 
Will definitely check this out tonight 🎙

Thank you for the quality content - really looking forward to hearing from the man who inspired you to start your self-improvement journey 🏞
 
KillYourInnerLoser said:
It's up!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pzvpdcgQskU


Man I'm fucking psyched. I'm still tripping... I can't believe I got to sit down with a guy who had such a huge influence on my sex/dating life. God damn I'm still shaking from adrenaline. This interview really, really, really meant a lot to me.

Interview went a hell of a lot better than I could have anticipated - already expected it to be great, but jesus fucking christ I was nervous, and I had to get up at 4.30am so I was a bit tired. We answered a bunch of your questions, and I think you guys will find his answers really interesting, particularly about some of the content that seems to differ from mine. As I've said a million times, most of the time you agree upon a hell of a lot more than you disagree upon.

Lemme know what you guys thought - how I did, anything I could have done better, etc. He says he's down to do another podcast in the future, so for those of you whose questions didn't get answered, I can just ask him next time.
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Nice man! You did a really good job on listening, not assuming what his perspective would be and asking truly non-leading open-ended questions. I feel you tried (and succeeded) in getting what his opinion was without trying to influence the answer - kinda like Rogan does with most of his guests. "What does this person think? I'm really curious..."

You were probably really excited and had a ton of questions you wanted to get to so I don't fault you - I didn't hear a satisfying answer to my question on why he suggests being non-direct with the relationship talk.

Sure, he said he's okay sharing that it's casual before you go on a date, but why would that be different than a talk a month later? I was surprised you didn't dig deeper on that answer.

And he suggested if a girl asks you what's going on that you dodge the question and say something smart-assy (his words, not mine.) I was surprised you didn't challenge him on this or at least question him to see his motivations. Why would he suggest this? You, I'd imagine, would suggest telling her what's up and giving her the option to leave rather than dodging the question. I've been honest with girls a week, two weeks, a month in etc. and it doesn't seem to hurt me.

All in all, solid shit and I'm grateful both as a listener and in witnessing your journey to greatness and beyond. This was a solid interview, amazing listening skills and I'm excited for the next one. I can understand wanting to explore the similarities especially since you admire him and you probably didn't want to create friction. My suggestion for the second interview is to explore some of the differences between you two - no need to make it "you're wrong" but rather "why do you think differently? I want to know what's behind your reasoning..."
 
Hmm, some mixed feelings on Caleb's ideas…

He has good criticisms of monogamous relationships, but it doesn’t logically follow that many relationships are bad because they are monogamous. Most of the population has all sorts of issues with their relationships (romantic, business, family, etc.) for all kinds of reasons. I don’t think it’s right to pin all long term romantic issues on monogamy -- most people would fail at non-monogamous relationships as well.

I read Neil Strauss’s (author of The Game) book The Truth: An Uncomfortable Book About Relationships. It follows his journey to find a healthy non-monogamous style of romantic relationship. He spends with many groups -- swingers, men with “harems”, polyamorous arrangements, etc. They have all sorts of issues too, with jealousy, cheating, and emotional drama. So I don’t buy his argument that “Monogamy Doesn’t Work”

I agree with MILFandCookies: big cop-out from Caleb out on the question of being upfront and direct with women. It feels like there is a lot of insecurity or desire for “power over women” by dodging women’s questions about being casual and not being upfront. Dozens of guys here have proven you can be direct about keeping things casual with women, and they’ll stick around -- so I really want to see Caleb’s argument for why being deceitful is better.

The stuff on marriage and long term commitments is the best stuff. It certainly seems like the best way to maintain a healthy long-term relationship is for both parties to “have other options” and be committed to the relationship from a place of abundance. Chris and Derek also talk about this in an an old interview (35 minute mark).
 
KillYourInnerLoser said:
I think I agree with you re: Blackdragon's claim that monogamy doesn't work. I'd say most RELATIONSHIPS (whether monogamous or non-monogamous) in this day and age don't work - because people in general are all sorts of fucked up (from a million different addictions, social media, smartphone addiction, lack of moral code, lack of family values in society, etc etc etc). 95% of relationships don't work out.
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Yeah, I actually agree here as I look more into it. But playing devil's advocate, what happens if men will forego relationships? It's gonna lead to the collapse of the family & society as we know it, and it's not gonna wreck the economy immediately but in the far future, like 20-30 years in the future, no?

I'm really not looking to get serious about a monogamous marriage yet, but this is what I have in mind when I read what you just typed.
 
KillYourInnerLoser said:
SIGMA_1234 said:
what happens if men will forego relationships? It's gonna lead to the collapse of the family & society as we know it, and it's not gonna wreck the economy immediately but in the far future, like 20-30 years in the future, no?
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Sure. But don't stress about this - you as one person aren't going to be the one to change this. All you can do is live YOUR best life, be good to your friends and family, build a tribe, etc. Don't worry about society; it's not your job to worry about stuff you can't change.

Besides, if society goes to shit (and it's already going down that path, let's be honest) we'll be too busy building our own awesome society. That's my mission with my site and these forums - to build something great outside of society. And anyone who wants to come join us can do so.

Society can go to shit if it wants. We'll be busy hustling and making the world a better place.
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good stuff Andy !
 
Everyone should be looking at the goals they set for this year and grinding like crazy to complete them

You didnt set those goals to fail

Also if those goals are dating related you have less time than you think, you can basically subtract the week around xmas

*having said that in 2017 I got laid on Xmas eve with a girl in a hostel in Phoenix so nothing is absolute
 
cot dayum boy daddy is gonna have to hustle :O

cold approach every day OLD every day, hell, if anything else occurs to me I will explore any option at this stage!!!!!

brothers for whom the clock is ticking - I am here with you also semi-freaking out, let's fucking GOOOOOOOOOOOO

MAC
 
@ 10:27:

So I said “I’m taking a year off of this whole Christianity thing, and I’m going to go do some ho shit.” Then I got in a relationship for the next six month that ended in a miscarriage. Thank God.
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😮
 
Thanks for this man, described my christmas experience to the tee! Helps to know I'm not the only one.

Would also love that squirting tutorial, making a girl squirt's big up there on my bucket list and I haven't been able to yet :)

We're all gonna make it,

Now
 
KillYourInnerLoser Andy! I've been logging away in both logs (which you can find in my footer here).

Long story short: net 0 this year so far, but I'm ramping up outreach this year. I will go balls to the wall: Post in FB, cold call, ask for referrals from friends & family, & walk in stores. I've been sitting on 2 recommendations, 1 from Crisis & 1 from AGF, for a year now. Didn't take action on them but I'm ready for the next half of the year.

The remote aspect has to wait. I need to do whatever it takes to generate some cash myself, as I'm unchained from a formal job as of now.

On other news: I got abs now (as you can see my profile). Will hit the beach May 10 because of a friend. I'm ready for summer!!

For the book, I'm still pretty damn broke (working on changing that). So I'll have to hold off from the 3some book for now. Feels like I haven't squeezed your Tinder guide yet to its max, as I've been busy with money goals most of the time. But, don't lower the price of the book + package for me, seems like you've got something good going on now!
 
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