Lusty's 5'4 fat to fit looking for love log

Have not posted here in ages but basically I sort of went into an off-balance life state, managed to start posting more and doing more stuff for my business but let my health and gym slip. I am now 115kg and was like fuck I need to change and get out of this pattern.

So I quit all my dating apps, yes even with being 40kg overweight I still was getting dates and sleeping with a number of them, but also with that running more dates, effort and just putting up with womens BS whilst also stressed out with trying to do more with work and beating myself up around the diet and binge eating to cope with all the added stressors just wasn't the direction I wanted to go.

So I am doing a sort of monk mode and want to move towards the list below.

-Limit social media use to posting for work (unfollowed every girl I got details from dating apps)
-Limit YouTube to mainly podcasts and learning for business
-I quit all dating apps and dating women/seeking validation
-I just put my phone in Greyscale to limit use and dopamine hit
I have done the same to my PC but I have a keyboard shortcut to add colour back when doing some instagram posts or video editing
-Not using my phone on waking, rather read a book, do my morning routine then touch my phone
-Focus on dropping off high dopamine hitting foods constantly and slowly become ok with more plain food than needing to smash like BBQ sauce make, the cheap Coles sausages, BBQ pork ribs, cheese-filled bacon and eggs stuff and focus on more whole cuts of meat like steak, chicken and that. Move towards a meat and fruit diet.
-Focus on more positive content and educational stuff eg listen to Alex Homozi over say Andrew Tate
Weird thing is listening to the more conspiracy, matrix, red pill stuff relaxes me and puts me to sleep
-No porn and retain seamen aka don't jerk off and cum as we detox from porn then move to more self love and pleasure
-No Alcohol (this one is easy as I am not going on dates)
-Get outside more even if it is for a 10min walk after each meal

What I am doing is not working and it is time for change, yeah sure I have good social and pick up skills, good online photos, I can get laid with average women or slightly above average, but it is not serving me, there is no drive for me to improve. It is time to level up myself, take some time away, make fuck serious money, inflation + tax has been killing my profits so time to turn that around and just make more fucking money.

The aim is to take this time away from worrying about dating and just focusing on health and wealth.

Then come back hard and just go for higher quality women as I have the skills, I have done it before to get a woman on a date or back to my place, time for me to be more rounded and look the part and be the part that gets the higher quality women
 
Lusty69 good results for being in this condition. It had me wondering there. I think some of your photos look professional but not highly stylized like many. Also good facial aesthetics so able to pull to date. But also very normal looking photos.

I have been told I am handsome so I should probably do what you are doing here. Don't have time to approach 70 times to get one date.
 
Juicy3lf said:
@Lusty69 good results for being in this condition. It had me wondering there. I think some of your photos look professional but not highly stylized like many. Also good facial aesthetics so able to pull to date. But also very normal looking photos.

I have been told I am handsome so I should probably do what you are doing here. Don't have time to approach 70 times to get one date.
Click to expand...

My photos apart from 1 are all taken on my Samsung S22, I use some basic editing on them, as you want them to be normal looking whilst also showing your best side, I think the issue with many professional shoots is they go into trying to model mode which is fine for business, model shoots, publications and if you want to build a brand around it.

However for dating and casual profiles you don't want to look super try hard to sort of lower a woman's guards to oh this photos was just like normal and he looks good (even though it is all set up and edited behind the scenes)

So Monday here in Australia,

Struggling with some of the stuff I posted about yesterday, I am keeping colour on for work stuff, otherwise the extra effort to work out wtf is going on with some of my software but will switch back to black and white when I am not working.
Only issue is I slipped into watching porn, might need to look into changing my environment up if I keep this cycle
 
Still not going great but I think I am stuck in further learned helplessness that I previously though so to rebuild that relationship and trust in myself I have lowered the bar on bad food and porn to can I get to 1PM with out bad food and porn for the next few weeks. Feels like shit at this point but I believe it is the right path right now even though so many parts of me are like you are better than this and you can do better my inner critic is strong. However I am like nope lets just focus on what we do to push all these urges and cravings until 1pm.
 
Still all over the shop a little, currently still doing no dating, but I removed the need to quit porn thing to have a sole focus on food, the 1pm thing was a hold off hold off, binge on porn and food.

I just started going carnivore, removed all my carbs, fruit and veg, and so far am 3kg down as before I was overeating on carbs even though I thought sweet potato and the likes was "healthy", but I ate way too much and always was hungry.

The only plant I have now is coffee in the morning and olive oil to cook my meat.

I am having a little cruch on sugar free jelly with extra collagen in it and some sugar free iceblock things, but I am to reduce and remove these to stop eating sweet stuff.

Also thinking of potentially going towards the lion diet for my skin condition as a few people I follow recently have started talking about red meat and water-only diet for Psoriasis, but it is a journey there I feel.
 
5’4” and killing it, absolute motivation. Proud of you bro. Definitely going to read this for motivation

Howveer, this just reinforces the loser i am
 
rohanp said:
5’4” and killing it, absolute motivation. Proud of you bro. Definitely going to read this for motivation

Howveer, this just reinforces the loser i am
Click to expand...

I am nothing special, I have massive struggles right now. Yes I have had some success in the past but honestly, I just feel so fucked up since the COVID shit happened almost like I am a spluttering engine that kicks starts turns over then stalls, maybe get going but as soon as I shift gears I stall again and it almost feels like I am back at the start again.

A huge example of this which is part of why I feel like a fuck up is that I was a strict Carnivore the 2 weeks before my travels, but then I sort of gave in when I traveled to "enjoy the experience" between the temptations of open buffets at airport lounges, to wanting to experience the fancy meal in business class and cocktails all on offer just let me slip back and the old cravings came back for sweets and carbs after they had gone from being carnivore along with just feeling so much better in my joints, my digestion and such, a few days of trying junk food, eating out and stuff just feeling like crap in terms of health which I guess is a good motivator to get back to carnivore, I found some good Brazilian places on google here which I think I will go to and just eat the meats.

The good news is as much as I feel like a spluttering engine my baseline is very very slowly moving up, falling backwards as much as there are parts of me that are hard on myself, I still have gone to the gym at the hotel daily, I have done massive walks, I have started reading again and just doing small things to keep srtiving but I think I really need to build discipline and chip away from trying to constantly search for the next video and the next answer to just doing.

I guess the journey for me is building discipline and consistency, then celebrating the small wins.

I did this cool exercise yesterday where I maped out my life in 3 pathways
Pathway 1 is like the me just being shit and doing nothing to improve
Pathway 2 is what I am basically doing now which is trying and making small improvements but not really going anywhere
Pathway 3 is my ultimate best self if I went 100% all in
Then I also added in my next 5 top moves to start moving toward my Pathway 3

I have a sense and feeling that I really need to do some sort of phase of monk mode to get under 100kg before I even try and add anything else in beyond what I am doing now.

But These were the next moves I felt I needed to make
Move 1 : Get under 75kg
Move 2: Create a backlog of short-form videos (Increase the frequency of social posts)
Move 3: Create one new SOP per week for 52 weeks (Improve systems and processes to make business more efficient and easier to train up new staff)
Move 4: Read 20 books & limit screen time (So much value in books and better than screen time)
Move 5: Focus on positive thoughts (Positive psychology, avoiding negative news and negative people, clean environment)
 
Lusty69 said:
rohanp said:
5’4” and killing it, absolute motivation. Proud of you bro. Definitely going to read this for motivation

Howveer, this just reinforces the loser i am
Click to expand...

I am nothing special, I have massive struggles right now. Yes I have had some success in the past but honestly, I just feel so fucked up since the COVID shit happened almost like I am a spluttering engine that kicks starts turns over then stalls, maybe get going but as soon as I shift gears I stall again and it almost feels like I am back at the start again.

A huge example of this which is part of why I feel like a fuck up is that I was a strict Carnivore the 2 weeks before my travels, but then I sort of gave in when I traveled to "enjoy the experience" between the temptations of open buffets at airport lounges, to wanting to experience the fancy meal in business class and cocktails all on offer just let me slip back and the old cravings came back for sweets and carbs after they had gone from being carnivore along with just feeling so much better in my joints, my digestion and such, a few days of trying junk food, eating out and stuff just feeling like crap in terms of health which I guess is a good motivator to get back to carnivore, I found some good Brazilian places on google here which I think I will go to and just eat the meats.

The good news is as much as I feel like a spluttering engine my baseline is very very slowly moving up, falling backwards as much as there are parts of me that are hard on myself, I still have gone to the gym at the hotel daily, I have done massive walks, I have started reading again and just doing small things to keep srtiving but I think I really need to build discipline and chip away from trying to constantly search for the next video and the next answer to just doing.

I guess the journey for me is building discipline and consistency, then celebrating the small wins.

I did this cool exercise yesterday where I maped out my life in 3 pathways
Pathway 1 is like the me just being shit and doing nothing to improve
Pathway 2 is what I am basically doing now which is trying and making small improvements but not really going anywhere
Pathway 3 is my ultimate best self if I went 100% all in
Then I also added in my next 5 top moves to start moving toward my Pathway 3

I have a sense and feeling that I really need to do some sort of phase of monk mode to get under 100kg before I even try and add anything else in beyond what I am doing now.

But These were the next moves I felt I needed to make
Move 1 : Get under 75kg
Move 2: Create a backlog of short-form videos (Increase the frequency of social posts)
Move 3: Create one new SOP per week for 52 weeks (Improve systems and processes to make business more efficient and easier to train up new staff)
Move 4: Read 20 books & limit screen time (So much value in books and better than screen time)
Move 5: Focus on positive thoughts (Positive psychology, avoiding negative news and negative people, clean environment)
Click to expand...

Yeah, i have started reading books as well. And getting offline. Man social media is really a mood killer sometimes. Best to be limited!
 
Still fusting myself with slipping into patterns that don't serve me whilst traveling, sort of annoying living in a hotel with so much fast food and junk food in the lobby, I sort of caved in and have been eating too much junk food at these different places. Malaysia does have really good food but it just isn't great for dieting and carnivore.

Getting a little frustrated at myself for going back into the excuses and holding pattern of kicking the can down the road, along with the annoying super strong carb and sweet cravings coming back after having dealt with and let go of them before my trip.

I kind of am like allowing myself to suck with diet but still hit the gym but at the same time, I am like I have been in this pattern and stayed the same or gained weight for the past year when are things going to finally change.

The good news is a few of my friends/clients have created a gym accountability group where we go gym or at least do push-ups every single day and post it to our instagram stories which is really good to have this group of other men. I am just super hiding and embarrassed to admit that although I did day 1 yesterday I was a complete fuck up and ate a tub of ice cream after dinner.

It is also the 1st of November so I thought I would use it as an anchor point to give the whole NoFap thing a go, I have been in a bad habit of watching porn in the morning to get my day started, so today I decided not to, just woke up, had a shower, put some music on and got my ass into a local cafe near where I am staying in Malaysia and just have been doing some work through out the morning.

I must say getting outside and into the public is the ultimate hack for noFap, I just maybe need to do more at night time rather than going back to my hotel room and chilling out binge watching youtube and porn then going for food downstairs.
Tomorrow I do move hotels so will be interesting to see what that hotel is like, I think the next one has breakfast included, I usually don't book breakfast and fast through, but will see if it is I might try switch things up and go to gym early then have a big meaty protein breakfast and hit a cafe to work out of then do my arvo walk which I have been happily doing at the moment.

It's an annoying thing where I am balancing wanting to achieve certain things and catch up stuff but I have barely defined what that stuff is other than wanting to get ahead on content and read the 4 books I brought with me, however 1 week in here and I have done close to none of that.

I guess it comes back to just fucking relax that's why I took a holiday lol but the fucked up part is I don't even know how to relax it seems, too stimulated and wanting the dopamine hits, even when I went in the sauna yesterday just sitting in an empty room between waiting for it to heat up and then just sitting for 15mins straight with out doing anything was super difficult and is something I need to work on, maybe I don't even know if thats what I exactly need, its more just a sense of will this bring be peace and let me achieve all my goals. Maybe it is about training my brain to do all the harder things and build more capacity to do more with ease, maybe its more discipline, maybe I just need to chill the fuck out and trust that I am moving to where I want to be, it's just not happening as quickly as I want.
 
So good news is new hotel has way less junk food options right down stairs and the place is a little seedy so I prefer to hang at the shopping mall or go for walks to other parts of the city.

The issue is they have a really poor gym, I found a commercial gym across the road, was going to sign up for a month for $70 aussie but then someone else was at the counter after I did my free session and they tried to quote me $140 and I was like fuck off your website says $70 for a month membership as well and he was arguing that I was wrong when the other person before quoted me the $70 so I just told him to get stuffed and left which is annoying as it was a not bad gym.

The hotel gym is just one bench and some dumbbells so I will just make do, but I think food will be better, this part of the city there are more Arabic and Lebanese places so I can get grilled meat, just got to be careful as the place I went to yesterday I am unsure if the guy was an idiot or did it on purpose but accidentally put a random number in the card machine I noticed it and told him off and he had my card in hand and tried to tap it anyway lucky they don't accept Amex so it failed, I lost my shit at him, told him to fuck off and called the manager over, paid the manager cash and left. I guess you need to keep your wits about you when travelling to foreign countries of people trying to scam you, its also why I use an Amex credit card and not a debt card when travelling, if they don't accept Amex then I use cash, this is because Amex has better protections on it for charge backs and has travel insurance included in the card.

No idea what my weight is, but I have a great accountability group on IG and we have to all post our workouts to our story daily or get kicked out of the group haha so good motivation to keep going to the gym daily
 
Fellow shortking checking in. Really inspiring stuff I am reading here, keep it up!

Currently I'm struggling with a couple of things in my life as well. Being short (165cm/5'5) and living in a western country, where that is shorter than the female average, is one of my main struggles. In the end I think this is mainly an issue with my mindset. Maybe you can help me by answering a couple of questions.

  • Do you only date women shorter than you? And if so, do you actively filter out women taller than you on dating apps?
  • Was your height ever something women made an issue about?
  • Do you mention you are 5'4 on Hinge or do you not fill in your height?
  • Height (and your weight) are clearly not holding you back. On dates, what is helping you getting so much compliance from women that they go home with you? (Charisma, knowing what to say, playing the numbers game, etc.)
 
I think my next focus especially if this helps with the weight loss motivation is learning more about personal branding and taking photos and images of myself in full body in cool places along with getting more content videos out there.

I think I will keep posting reels as talking head videos but I then want to start getting some cool photos of myself, bit of a lost opportunity right now I am overseas but just don't feel like my looks are that great to get some epic photos in cool locations like many other male influencer type profiles that shout high status.

I guess this adds to the reasons to lose weight, which I keep pushing off or going oh I will just have that last snack, oh I will just have that icecream, oh let me try this whilst on holidays, weak excuses, but at least I am consistently hitting the gym and doing a lot of walking so will see how I fare when I get back to Australia.
 
MisterE said:
  • Do you only date women shorter than you? And if so, do you actively filter out women taller than you on dating apps?
    On apps usually filter for girls max 1-2inches taller than me
  • Was your height ever something women made an issue about?
    Not directly but maybe indirectly where they were not attracted to me or I got rejected maybe but I don't really care
  • Do you mention you are 5'4 on Hinge or do you not fill in your height?
    I put 5'5 on Hinge, and don't fill it in other apps
  • Height (and your weight) are clearly not holding you back. On dates, what is helping you getting so much compliance from women that they go home with you? (Charisma, knowing what to say, playing the numbers game, etc.)

    Good social skills and make them horny, good vibes, subcoms, hold tension, deep eye contact but ultimately when I am fat I just have to run more volume
Click to expand...
 
Second last day here in Malaysia, and I feel like I didn't get ahead as I wanted to with marketing and content whilst here but oh well I did take some time off to chill by the pool just didn't finish reading the books I brought with me and stuff.

No idea where my weight is at, I know my diet has been horrible with all the different foods and everything but on the positive side I have gone to the gym every single day, so hopefully some of that junk went to muscle.

Funny timing on a few things though, I posted to snapchat just the pool for the first time in a while, ended up having 3 girls two of them sending me nudes and the other just chatting from ages ago, one of them wanting me to see her when I get back to Brisbane, even though I am not dating at the moment sort of tempted to go see her apart from parts of me feeling a little bit of a fraud and just too fat and need to lose 10-15kg at least before seeing her, maybe could re-direct that as motivation to lose weight quick when I get back to Aus and the strategy is to go back on the carnivore diet when I stop traveling which is end of November as I have a few business trips along the east coast of Aus.

As this happened I went to some fancy chocolate place to try an icecream thing they had for dessert, was a little pricey for Malaysia but was a really nice cone, the lady making it started asking me where I was from, how old I was, if I was single and stuff then said I was really handsome which was a nice ego boost but pity she wasn't very attractive however I was like fuck mind blown I am in a conservative Muslim country and thought no chance of dating or anything here then get hit on by by a woman serving me icecream haha. Would have been good if she was more attractive as my hotel room is quite nice with a big bathtub and stuff.
 
So it turns out only Spotify wrapped I listened to Andy's podcast as my number 1 podcast of 2023
 
I will read along : )
Are you planning a skin reduction operation after you have lost weight? You will almost certainly have excess skin.
 
Vamos said:
I will read along : )
Are you planning a skin reduction operation after you have lost weight? You will almost certainly have excess skin.
Click to expand...

Will see what the skin is like when I get down to weight, 3 years ago pre covid I did manage to lose a lot of weight as I was always very overweight as a teen and sort of up and down in my early 20's, usual cycle was lose weight doing cold approach, gain weight in a relationship lol. I was 75kg at my lowest, got top 4 abs with not too much loose skin just a little around my pecs and very lower belly, but wasn't that bad, I know I am 3 years older now, so I think I will just do my best to get right down, combine some fasting, red light therapy and collagen supplements to see how much loose skin there is at my goal weight and if needed I will look into surgery as an option.

So I got back from my travels with a little weight gain, I learnt that environment for me is key, at home with unlimited meat in the fridge = easy breezy weight loss, travelling business class and eating out sparks my inner fat kid and temptations to overeating carbs.

The rollercoaster was peaked out at 119kg then the carnivore diet down to 113.4kg, then 6 weeks of travel gained back to 117.2kg and now 1 week back on carnivore I am down to 114.6kg, I am putting into the assumption that 2-3kg movements are water weight, but because my injuries have healed up, I have also whilst I was travelling and more recently been hitting the gym more often and lifting more weight.

I really would love to try and get down to 110kg by Christmas but I think that might be too big of a jump without extended fasting which is playing with fire as an unlimited meat diet is assisting me with my binge eating urges which have come back strong after eating sweet stuff whilst I was travelling.

I guess it will be a year project to get to my goal weight, so I am still working out what I can do to get back on track after setbacks and do things in the long run rather than a 2-3 week motivational burst or using will power for a short time to be ok with what I think is more emotional suppression hunger over real hunger.

In an ideal world, I would lose 1kg/week so within a year I would hit my goal weight, but it just seems like a massive slog, so I am trying to just focus on the now and today of I am just focused on eating unlimited amounts of my favourite food, meat along with adding in a few fuck the WHO and WEF who want to limit meat consumption and masculinity seems to help add to the fuck you don't tell me what to do I will do the opposite rebellious side to me, rather than having the rebellious side of me wanting to binge on icecream.
 
used forum search function on your log for ozempic, no results, but maybe search sucks. but ive read a bunch of your posts over time

you have money. why not ozempic.

the only real side effects are nausea etc.

the rest are just restating the side effects of losing fat in general, like the muscle loss is just regular muscle loss from fat people who dont exercise losing weight. and the stigma against it is pulling the ladder up from thin people trying to avoid their sometimes hard earned advantage being diluted by a new easy way opening up.

theres also side benefits like a lot of people reporting improved impulse control in general. which is fucking rare for a drug and we're blessed that's the case. hell even I'd take ozempic just for that. lottery winner bucket list
 
september said:
used forum search function on your log for ozempic, no results, but maybe search sucks. but ive read a bunch of your posts over time

you have money. why not ozempic.

the only real side effects are nausea etc.

the rest are just restating the side effects of losing fat in general, like the muscle loss is just regular muscle loss from fat people who dont exercise losing weight. and the stigma against it is pulling the ladder up from thin people trying to avoid their sometimes hard earned advantage being diluted by a new easy way opening up.

theres also side benefits like a lot of people reporting improved impulse control in general. which is fucking rare for a drug and we're blessed that's the case. hell even I'd take ozempic just for that. lottery winner bucket list
Click to expand...
I did explore this idea of ozempic, my sister is a medical doctor and when I visited home last we were chatting about it for various family members and stuff. The main issue is to weigh up the actual risks a few people in Australia have died from ozempic
side effects, vs staying fat and what is the higher risk. For me personally, as I also have an autoimmune condition and don't trust western medicine after my experiences with the autoimmune condition and the whole COVID bs, still not vaxxed still yet to catch COVID. This drug is just not for me. I also know a lot of my stuff is emotional where I have overeaten well past my hunger signaling because it was mixing emotions for escapism and suppression.

I do feel that the work I have done emotionally over the past few years is starting to catch up along with a strict carnivore diet has been much easier to stick to than other diets, even keto diet vs carnivore. I have lost weight before I guess I just wasn't emotionally and mentally prepared for what the Government did so I went into an old trauma response pattern which made me fat in my teen's.

One thing I will look into it's a little harder to get in Australia because they ban anything that makes you more masculine, healthy or strong is TRT, I know going on TRT with my training regimen would easily shed weight quick and maintain the muscle I have now but it's a bit of a pain in the ass to get a script for then need to worry about what I do when I travel overseas
 
Super grateful to have connected with Adrizzle on the forums as I now have a super cool accountability partner who has similar values and goals.

I did have one day of slip up on the diet stuff but back strongly on the diet again down to 114kg aiming to just go hard between now and Christmas, so I can get hopefully into the 112kg, 's before all the Xmas parties and stuff when I fly to Melbourne which could mean like adding 1-2kg so if I am down to 112k, small bump to 114kg then just focus on carnivore when I am back.

Ideally, if I can hit 1kg per week loss from the new year say from 112kg then I can get to 100kg by April fools getting under 100kg would be epic as I have not been that since the middle of covid when I gained past 100kg.

I decided to install 2 dating apps to see how things are as I am coming out of my dating break but just dipping in slowly, I noticed with a switch of a few photos my profile didn't do as well so I might flick the photos around and my goal is to get some new ones after playing around with the camera I bought to do video and realised it took amazing photos as well. Sony A6700 if anyone wants a camera that won't break the bank but everything comes out of it looks epic. (unless you shoot in s.cine/log3 and have no idea what you are doing as I found out for myself haha)

Been hitting the gym 5x per week and doing 3x long walks, only issue I have done this 3 days in a row as in Gym and long walk and my legs are feeling dead but I want to drop this weight quickly and the 114kg seems to be a little sticky right now, my BF% is dropping on the scales but weight is the same so I think could be some DOMS water retention or post from the Weekend when I did have a slip up with some carby foods but I have a strategy for why and what happened that day was just exhausted and had nothing prepared for when I got home so I got snacks at the supermarket.

The other thing with the business I went to my mate's place who is a digital marketer and also my client so we filmed some content which was great as I got 5 good videos in one day vs just filming 1-2, going to do another full day with him again and he said he has a few more video ideas so I might try and film 10 with him so that way I have much more videos to post and can increase my posting frequency
 
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