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Mav's Log

Crisis_Overcomer said:
Mav said:
I appreciate that but I look like total shit (bad genetics) and it's debilitating... how are you supposed to improve this? A haircut and losing 10 more lbs isn't going to cut it... https://youtu.be/emVV0HTjWHg
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Do you ever, like, smile? I see no sign of a smile or even a smirk. Its like your face is permanently forming a :( emoticon.

No wonder you feel ugly. I consider myself a pretty good looking dude, but if I walk around, with a non existent smile like I do in my profile, no girl is gonna look at me.
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Not really. I don't like the way I smile either. It doesn't matter to me whether girls look at or even have sex with me. I still look terrible.
 
8/23 -

Had to cancel the 2nd date tomorrow unfortunately. Can't go out looking this way. Also skipped gym again. My looks have been the constant that has always held me back and it's only getting worse. I don't really want to go out anymore. It's embarrassing.
 
Mate, tell her you apologize for changing minds and that you do not like behaving such way. Tell her you had a last minute thing which made you think the date had to be cancelled or delayed.
Then tell her you would like to meet her if she's still down for this.


She says Yes or no.



If she says Yes, you go there. Order a drink if you like to relax and feel better.

What you are currently meeting is a feeling, discomfort. If you run from this you set yourself up to get fucked on the long run. To battle this you need to exhibit courage and resilience.

Wether it goes well or bad is irrelevant because at the end of the day you Will still feel like you aren't good looking enough and feel shit about this, and it's ok.
Accept it. With time and efforts it Will change.
So in the meantime, say FUCK to this and tell yourself "Yeah I suck SO FUCKING WHAT ?!! I am courageous and I. FUCK. THIS. SHIT."




You're putting a whole lot of hard work and efforts into this. KEEP GOING.
IT WILL PAY OFF.

It's sweat, battle of the mind and feelings which you face on a daily basis.
It counts MEGA.
Then you have these moments with girls, and these matter very much. That would be a real shame not to pursue there, because there is more discomfort.

It's the point. Don't waste weeks of hard work for a one time DISCOMFORT.




Focus on checking things done. You can think all you like that you aren't good looking enough as long as you get the things which need to be done, done.
 
Mav, do you have an idea what's an edgy style with accessories and so on...?

I think you would greatly benefit from this.
 
I told her yesterday that I wasn't feeling well and we should probably reschedule... but I'm not sure I really plan on doing that. She's a nice girl and deserves someone better than me. She probably has limited options and would just be settling for me, at best anyways. Just when I thought I was starting to pull myself up by my bootstraps and get ahead... back to reality. I really just wish I could be someone else and that's no way to live.
 
Mav said:
She's a nice girl and deserves someone better than me. She probably has limited options and would just be settling for me, at best anyways
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That's called life.


You're down, she's down. This is it.




Please, for yourself : remind yourself how you felt about yourself and about life in general when you had sex with these 2 girls in a row.



Now imagine 4 girls in a row and potentially new girls aligned.

This Will happen and this Will give you mental and emotional space for you to create and use New behaviors and thinking proccesses which Will support you further in your life in general.


Look at this : you can talk yourself out of going out with girls. That's rationalizing.
If you can use this ability to make you avoid doing fun things, you can as well use this ability to rationalize into getting you to pursue more aggressively with girls.

Rationalize and convince yourself to try and go out with this girl.
 
I can have a 7/8 body but still stuck with a 3 face.
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Get a 7/8 body then.

You've convinced yourself that your face sucks so that's what you're going to believe.

Get an 8 body and then worry about your face cause you can't do anything about it right now.

There's dudes way uglier than you killing it in life in many aspects.

Keep grinding man and keep your head up.

You're doing good, this is just a slump. I get it all the time too. Last week I felt like killing myself despite all the good shit happening in my life. Doesn't mean I quit, I stand back up, brush the dirt off and keep going.

Can't keep me down if I keep getting up.

Let's fucking go man. Consistency. Get that 7/8 body and then you can cry about your face.
 
KillYourInnerLoser said:
stop stressing about your face (which isn't even ugly by the way - you just have shit self-esteem).
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I have to agree with Andy here. It's not even bad; don't worry about it. I can see that if you're smiling more, it will look MUCH better.
 
It's not even about getting laid. While I can't necessarily choose who I want, I can still get laid occassionally. Even this girl I cancelled on still wants to see me.

It's about being/feeling so physically inferior. And because of that, I'm then socially inferior. Almost everywhere I go, I'm the shortest guy, even with insoles. Almost everywhere I go (even here), I'm one of the most unattractive. I go to work, get made fun of. Go to the gym, get made fun of. I feel like I'm stuck living a second rate, walmart brand kind of life compared to these other people. And yes, I know I sound like the biggest pussy ever.
 
If you had 10-20 lbs more of muscle. (which is going to take a while) You wouldn't feel that way. Trust me.

Getting in shape and looking good, despite what your face looks like is going to be massively beneficial.

People treat you better, they praise you, want to be you.

People like you.

You'll show up to an interview and they'll be like, this guy has his shit together whether you do or not.

Ever heard of Casey Neistat?



He's ugly as fuck.

(i know you're going to say you're more ugly but Idc... this dude objectively doesn't look good)

Know what else about him though?

He's super charismatic, he has a networth of $16 million USD and has a sick youtube channel with 12 mill followers.

Only reason I stop by and comment on your stuff is cause I think you have massive potential and you're concerned that your face and height suck.
(many people have helped me in the past and I've similar to the way you're feeling countless times in the past and people reach out, so I'm reaching out)

This guy I can guarantee you doesn't give a shit what his face looks like cause he makes his look work, he's funny, charismatic and rich as fuck. Dude seems pretty fucking happy despite having dealt a shitty hand in the face department.

He could be 5'2 with a permanent hematoma on his face and he'd probably still be happy and successful. It's not about your face or height.

Yea it's not all about getting girls.

I know this isn't going to help your dip right now, I at least hope it helps a little but you need to realize and internalize that your facial aesthetics aren't your life.

Stop giving a fuck what other people think and keep grinding.

You've proven that you can put in the work.

You can get a beard, you can get more stylish, you can get more jacked, you can talk to more people, you can ignore what others think of you, you can get rich, you can do fucking anything.

So keep doing what you're doing, focus on only what YOU are able to change and you'll get there.

I believe in you dawg.
 
Arrange a date with this girl and quit the bullshit. Please
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Or not man. If you don't want to see her cause you feel like shit then don't.

Get back in the gym (home gym whateves), focus on you and do what you want.

But don't do it cause you feel physically inferior to others.

Need to focus on a mindset shift. And I don't know how to do that. I'm not a psychologist. I believe you were seeing a therapist?

Is this something you go over with them, if not it should be.

Cause it's clear you have some self-esteem issues. Don't worry I do too. When I get in these slumps all I think of is that I'm a bad person and haven't amounted to anything in my life.
 
I've seen several psychologists and not one helped or was worth the money. It was mostly generic advice and platitudes in my experience. Paying way too much money that could be better spent elsewhere. I doubt I'll ever be able to have self esteem or good self image. I used to a bit when I was younger/looked better.
 
Mav said:
I've seen several psychologists and not one helped or was worth the money. It was mostly generic advice and platitudes in my experience. Paying way too much money that could be better spent elsewhere. I doubt I'll ever be able to have self esteem or good self image. I used to a bit when I was younger/looked better.
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At least you're noticing that you have that issue.

Good start.

I literally just cancelled my appointment with a therapist cause It's fucking hard to justify $150 or whatever it is for you to go see a guy that has to get to know you the first session and then after a few appointments see if they're actually going to help.

I went to a seminar on depression that my girlfriend's teacher conducted and he spent years trying to find the right therapist for him. Most told him it was too severe that he wasn't ever going to get better.

He eventually found one and said he's been doing a lot better lately.

I can't tell you what the best solution is for this, but shit is going to get better and these slumps only last so long.

It's also good you come on here to vent than to keep it inside.

Keep improving what you can improve, eventually try again with a therapist. I'm going to try, at some point as well.
 
Yeah, you could easily dump $500-$1000 into just one therapist and realize it's just not worth it. Idk about you but a car payment or my own apartment brings far more tangible benefits. Every time I've left a session, I'm like... what did I just pay for? What did I actually get out of that? And the session payments start adding up real quick. But if you have cash to blow might as well try everything. I honestly don't think many of these people really care, that or they just can't resonate with you because they've never been through it. Perfect example, especially with the older ones, they don't know what online dating is or the dynamics of living in today's world. Side thought... saw an article saying CBT is only about half as effective as when it was first introduced now. I'm looking at more extreme options, like ayahuasca.
 
Yikes.

Well hopefully you've tried some other psychedelics first before diving into the beast haha.

But yea I get what you're saying.
 
8/27 -

Chest - 15
Abs - 6
Treadmill - 90 Mins - 6.2 Miles

Calories - 2,600

8/28 -

Legs - 15
Back - 6
Treadmill - 80 Mins - 5.3 Miles

Calories - 2,400

8/29 -

Back - 9
Bi's - 15
Tri's - 15
Treadmill - 90 Mins - 6 Miles

Calories - 1,900

Back on it and have mitigated damage in past three days, from missing one week of workouts and eating whatever I wanted. Hoping to stabilize weight at 154lbs by my birthday, Sept 18th. About 158 right now.
 
8/30 -

Went on date after work. Used this as an off day.

8/31 -

Legs - 12 Sets
Treadmill - 90 Mins - 5.8 Miles - 3i - 3.8s

Calories - 2,350
 
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