• Welcome to the forums, Guest. Please note that you must make a post in the introduction thread and upload an avatar to gain full access to the forums.

Spider’s Progress Log 🕷 DAY 366: Continuation Log Link ⛓️

Day 40 20/11/2021 ✅

Another quick update as I’ve been out all day with Guitar Girl.

Very successful date - had a meal and a walk in a nature reserve where there was lots of kissing etc. She wanted more and so did I and we discussed it honestly 🤝

Although tempting, I don’t feel comfortable having sex etc. in public (even with no-one around). I know some guys including Andy on here have and respect to them - it’s just not for me personally. I could’ve escalated but didn’t because of this. Arranged to meet her next weekend where we’ll stay over somewhere and see what happens 💭

What I can tell she is very into me, she’s just real shy. Thanks Dewm for the previous advice - kept it in mind today and it’s paid off and worked in my favour 👏 💯

Got up early today and have been out pretty much all day on the date 📅

Gonna wrap this up and post more tomorrow 🔜

Gum is still Fucked, but I went out anyway and thought ‘Fuck it’.

Thanks for reading 📖

Spider 🕷
 
Day 41: 21/11/2021 ✅

After a shitty week I'm feeling better and I'm getting back into the swing of things 🔜

I've finished my course antibiotics now so I'm just waiting for the infection to disappear as whilst it's still present, I've been advised to take it easy as much as possible 💊

At the moment I'm just focusing on what I can do in regards to self-improvement until I can do things that are more physical e.g. the Gym 👎

- Woke up early again this morning at 04:30 🕟

- Enquired about driving refresher lessons - Gonna get back on the road ASAP 🚘

- Cleaned my room - due to feeling like shit, it started to look quite ropey 🧹

- Went for a quick, light walk 🚶‍♂️

- Re-assessed my finances and monthly costs so I'm on track to save £1000 (Approximately $1345 U.S) a month, starting January 2022 💵

- Got partway through one of Andy's podcasts Will continue this one later 🎤

That's it for today's update 📝

Gradually getting back on it but still taking it easy - especially now I'm working ❤️‍🩹

Was very tired after yesterday as I was out all day and I'm still not 100%. Life's a bit of a bitch but I'm working through it 👊

Thanks for reading 📖

Spider 🕷
 
Day 42: 22/11/2021 ✅

Seeing Guitar Girl Wednesday night after work. Genuinely enjoying her company and I think spending the night with her is on the cards for the weekend coming up after our honest conversation. We'll see how we get on though as I don't wanna call it a solid when things could go wrong. Maybe that's just my negative thinking though 💭

Like Andy says - don't talk about what you're going to do, talk about what you have done. 📝

What I will say is this: It's a million Fucking times easier when the girl is actually into you. 💯

I'm totally binning off anyone who doesn't make the effort or show a sufficient enough amount of interest now as it's just a waste of time, effort and money 🚪👈

Vegan Vixen has just disappeared on me, so I'm guessing that's a no-go. It is what it is 😎

Gone back on No-Fap too. I Totally Fucked up NNN, but least I tried and I'm not giving up. If I might be spending the night with someone soon, I don't want to disappoint and go through the embarrassment 🤦‍♂️

Really good day at work today. Gum infection is on the way out now I've finished the tablets so I'm not hating the world whilst sat at my desk 🖕🌎

Boss was stressing with a load of reports that needed filing and there was talk of having to go into overtime to get through them all as some of them hadn't been actioned for a while and the workload was starting pile up. I've picked up how to file and action them pretty quickly, so they said just carry on and do as many as I can ✅

I did 15 last week on my third day on the job. Today I got all 43 done and we're now up to date. Just blasted through them 💥

Boss was really shocked and pleasantly surprised and told me I did a good job. Was a bit gutted about losing out on the overtime pay, but it looks good for me considering I'm still in my probation period. Had an hour left to spare too, so I saved the company money on having to shell out on overtime 💵

I'll try keep this up for tomorrow ⬆️

Work's taking up a lotta my time now with my new job, but I'm putting together a schedule etc. where I can focus on self-improvement before work, after work and on weekends. Just giving it until my infection clears up so I can get back on it - this is on the advice of my dentist as one of the symptoms of this infection is 'Malaise' - weakness and a general feeling of being unwell which I am currently experiencing 👎

- Got up early today (04:50) 🌅

- Had coffee and contemplation albeit indoors as it's frosty out there and I don't fancy another cold from hell 🥶

- Listened to one of Andy's Podcasts - Episode #47: Look for SOLUTIONS not Problems. I like the CBT aspect of this where you pick something you aren't happy with, change your behaviour/mindset around it and then attack it piece by piece. A mindset I've been trying to adopt - instead of solutions, I'd typically focus on problems or even worse: Excuses. Definitely something I keep in mind going forward with my self-improvement journey 🎤

- Back on No-Fap ⬆️

That's it for today. Better quality posts from next week 🔜

Photos have been posted below for accountability purposes 📷

Thanks for reading 📖

Spider 🕷
 
Day 43: 23/11/2021 ✅

Have been having the back and forth with Now recently and he's come up with the great idea of becoming accountability partners and I've decided to take him up on the offer 🤝

Really grateful to him for this as I've been in a bit of a lull/rut when it comes to some of my goals - partly due to illness (not my fault) but also partly due to a bad case of 'Fuck-around-itis' (DEFINITELY MY FAULT) 😂

Currently working out the details, but believe we're going to set up some form of accountability mechanisms e.g. check-ins. After listening to Andy's podcast on this, can see it'll be really beneficial ✅

Been at work again today 9-5. Thankfully my gum has calmed down and is almost completely healed 🦷

Boss real happy with my progress and says I'm picking things up quite quick. I'm going to keep at this and keep blasting my way through - I'm gonna have a review in 3 weeks, so best behaviour definitely needed 😇

Apparently working from home soon, so this'll make hitting the Gym etc. much easier 🏠

- Woke up early gain today 🌅

- Morning coffee and contemplation (too cold in the garden!) ☕️

- Day 2 on the No-Fap. Gonna keep going as might be getting laid soon 🔜

That's it for today - a short and sweet one ☝️

Photos have been posted for accountability purposes 📷

Thanks for reading 📖

Spider 🕷
 
Day 44: 24/11/2021 ✅

Quick post as I’m on a date after work and as I’m not on my screen after 9 P.M to keep in line with my sleep goals, I’m posting now on my work lunch break 📵

People complaining about others today in office - same as every other working environment I’ve ever worked in 🔁

I just kept out of it and didn’t comment. Said ‘I don’t get involved and don’t have an opinion’. 🛑

My life is so much better without office politics.

Tooth’s better and I’m gonna try hit the Gym next week as I’m probably working from home 🔜

Will liaise with Now for accountability on this when we speak next 📝

- Woke up early again today 🌅

- Had coffee and contemplation again ☕️

- Listened to Andy’s podcast episode #48: How Can Women Get Into Self-Improvement? I liked this one as I’m now actively trying to leave girls better than I found them. If I can help them self-improve, even better ⬆️ 🎤

- Date later - I’ll update on here how it goes tomorrow 📝

Photos have been posted below for accountability purposes 📷

Thanks for reading 📖

Spider 🕷
 
Day 45: 25/11/2021 ✅

Date night last night - got flaked on despite sending a confirmation text 👎

One of those shitty half-hour before texts when I’d already travelled there: ‘I’m not interested, you’re a Fuckboy for not wanting a relationship… I need a connection, you just want sex… etc. etc.’ Being honest up front about what you want don’t always pay off, but I’m glad I’ve started doing it 🌅

I’d rather stick to my morals than lie to get what I want even if it means getting screwed around a little here and there 🥱

It is what it is 😎

Hit up Guitar Gir 🎸 As I didn’t wanna waste the night 🌘

Hung with her a couple hours and had a good time. Gonna see her Saturday overnight - haven’t had the conversation about where we’re heading yet, but I will tell her we’re just dating at this point and it’s too soon to put a label on it if she asks 🔜 Got this tip from The Black Dragon interview Andy did recently 🐉

It’s the truth too - I honestly don’t know. Not gonna lie to her if she asks and it does say on my profile clearly ‘Not looking for anything serious’. Maybe I’m overthinking it 💭

Work went okay too - still in training and doing the odd bits here and there 💻

- Woke up early again 🌅

- Still on No-Fap - holding out until Saturday ⬆️

- Had coffee and contemplation this morning ☕️

That’s it for today. Brother is currently unwell, so looking after him until things calm down so thought I’d get a post in now 👾

No photos today - genuinely forgot 🙃

Thanks for reading 📖

Spider 🕷
 
Spider Jerusalem said:
Day 45: 25/11/2021 ✅

Date night last night - got flaked on despite sending a confirmation text 👎

One of those shitty half-hour before texts when I’d already travelled there: ‘I’m not interested, you’re a Fuckboy for not wanting a relationship… I need a connection, you just want sex… etc. etc.’ Being honest up front about what you want don’t always pay off, but I’m glad I’ve started doing it 🌅

I’d rather stick to my morals than lie to get what I want even if it means getting screwed around a little here and there 🥱

It is what it is 😎
Click to expand...

The difference here is that the date was close by and you just walked home. When a girl reacts this way, its probably nothing you've done, someone at work in HR might have told her that the socks she wore to the work place offended a 0 carbon output person who believes that socks are the cause of rising sea levels. It's most likely a her problem not a you problem. She also filtered herself out which gives you more free time, so that's a win win for you.

At least you didn't take a 2 hour train for this date, it's more positive progress.

If your looking for a more elegant way to say your a fuck boy, I use, "I'm not Mr right, but I can be Mr right now." It says the same thing without it bringing up the image of regret some girls have when dealing with that kind of guy.
 
[/quote]

The difference here is that the date was close by and you just walked home. When a girl reacts this way, its probably nothing you've done, someone at work in HR might have told her that the socks she wore to the work place offended a 0 carbon output person who believes that socks are the cause of rising sea levels. It's most likely a her problem not a you problem. She also filtered herself out which gives you more free time, so that's a win win for you.

At least you didn't take a 2 hour train for this date, it's more positive progress.

If your looking for a more elegant way to say your a fuck boy, I use, "I'm not Mr right, but I can be Mr right now." It says the same thing without it bringing up the image of regret some girls have when dealing with that kind of guy.
[/quote]

Hey thanks man. Appreciate the advice and support. Definitely learning how to value my time more now especially as I'm working and planning around things accordingly.

She did me a favour I think!

Thanks for the line - I'll definitely give it a try.

Regards,

Spider
 
Day 46: 26/11/2021 ✅

- First call with Now today went really well. Discussed some good ideas and got a good background and looking forward to a good future with him as accountability partners. I like how he called me out on things and we discussed what was going on in our lives. I'm grateful to him for reaching out :arrow_up:

- Worked from home today and didn't get up as early as I'd have liked to. This was partly a tactical choice, as I'm gonna be having a late night tomorrow with my date. I don't wanna be tired and miserable, so I'm giving myself a couple extra hours but not too many (6 A.M Wakeups).

I'll get back on the early wakeups from Monday. Back in the office a couple days then I'll get back on it.

Work was okay - just boring. The end goal is fulfilling, just not the actual work of inputting data and doing admin.

I prefer being in an office and around actual people. Had 18 months of COVID-bollocks working from home, so was a bit disheartened about going back to it, but it is what it is. Advantage is I can use the travelling time for self-improvement projects.

- I'm on day 5 of No-Fap and heading towards day 6 and I feel really good. Not like a horny teen. Got a clearer head and things are a bit better overall, so I'm happy.

- Manscaped today ready for tomorrow as I reckon things will be going up to the next level. I think this is something I'm going to do regularly - once a week as it's a Fucking Ball-ache (Literally!) doing it every couple months or so.

Got a nice chilled weekend now before I gotta head back to work, so gonna make some plans and take it from there self-improvement wise. Bit of a rough couple weeks, but I'm getting back on it.

Thanks for reading

Spider
 
Day 46: 27/11/2021 ✅

Date night tonight so sticking a quick post on ⬆️

Yesterday was payday so I decided to start saving and put my ENTIRE first pay check into my savings account 💵

Felt really good and it’s the first of many. Gonna take me a couple of years, but I will get a mortgage and OWN my own place. Don’t wanna rent and put it into someone else’s pocket 🏠

Also still going strong on NoFap- Day 6 so I reached my goal for date night tonight. Gonna try carry on with it after and make it a good habit. Been a long week, but I made it ⬆️

Also downloaded MyFitnessPal to help with bulking goals on the advice of Now. Start playing around and using this soon in time for getting back in the gym 🔜

That’s it for now. I’ll stick another post on tomorrow with an update 📝

Photos have been posted for accountability purposes 📷

Thanks for reading 📖

Spider 🕷
 
Hey dude, it's awesome that you put away your first paycheck!

If you want to fast track owning your own place, look into house hacking.

This book has basically all the info you need:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/1947200151/ref=cm_sw_r_awdo_navT_g_V37WYQV11A5N97WJAD0M

Because you know what's better than paying a mortgage instead of rent? Getting other people to pay your mortgage with their rent.

Iirc, you're American, right?

You should note that if you are trying to escape the grind and work for yourself, you will be required to show 2 years of income from your independent business to qualify for a federally backed loan with the best interest rates. Unfortunately, being a corporate stiff with a W2 makes you a rounder peg to fit in the government's round hole.
 
Svadhishthana said:
Hey dude, it's awesome that you put away your first paycheck!

If you want to fast track owning your own place, look into house hacking.

This book has basically all the info you need:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/1947200151/ref=cm_sw_r_awdo_navT_g_V37WYQV11A5N97WJAD0M

Because you know what's better than paying a mortgage instead of rent? Getting other people to pay your mortgage with their rent.

Iirc, you're American, right?

You should note that if you are trying to escape the grind and work for yourself, you will be required to show 2 years of income from your independent business to qualify for a federally backed loan with the best interest rates. Unfortunately, being a corporate stiff with a W2 makes you a rounder peg to fit in the government's round hole.
Click to expand...

Svadhishthana

Hey thanks man - hopefully the first of many! :arrow_up:

Thanks for the resource - I'll take a look on Amazon now at it. Good way of having income with little maintenance required by the sounds of things!

I'm a Brit, so probably a little different over here, but thanks for the advice nevertheless! Something to consider for the future 8-)

Regards,

Spider
 
Day 48: 28/11/2021 ✅

So I got laid last night - Lay 2 ⬆️

Won't go into too much detail, but it's the girl I've been seeing recently and dating for a couple of weeks ☕️

Really enjoyed it at the time, but I've come home and things feel really different 😐

The whole Saturday, I was upbeat and ready to rock. Now I feel down, tired and lethargic 👎

It's got to a point where I'm actually struggling to type this post out.

I've had this before - kind of like 'post-sex depression' and I'm really hating myself for it. I got laid with a girl I get on well with and have dated a longer time than usual before we had sex so I should be happy? Shouldn't I?❓

Probably what didn't help was not sleeping so good due to there being a party going on next door the whole night where we stayed 😴

Not to mention the heating was on overnight, so I was hot as Fuck the whole time 🔥

Slept for 3 hours when I got home out of exhaustion and just feeling down 🛌

I get to work from home tomorrow as the snow round here is really bad, so that’s a little positive ⬆️

I'm gonna try get an early night soon and put things down to lack of sleep. Might look better in the morning 👍

If anyone has any advice or similar experience, I'd appreciate the help as I'm feeling a bit down. I keep thinking about what it could be, but I'm genuinely not sure 😶

Thanks for reading 📖

Spider 🕷
 
I don't know really what it is, its in part hormonal as sex and dopamine has a comedown like with any other drug, might partly be up building up sex more that what it actually is.

Don't get me wrong, I'm still in a scarcity mindset personally and getting laid takes up a lot of my thought, but I think that low feeling and post-sex clarity is why guys who do get laid a lot ,be it naturals or guys who learn to get good, are eventually able to move on to making money or other things once they have met that need.

Well done on the lay, hopefully you'll bang her again. Hook-ups, while an achievement, feel empty as oxytocin, the 'bonding' hormone, negates a lot of that negative feeling I do believe.
 
Day 49: 29/11/2021

I wasn't going to write this post, but it's been a really bad day today and I could really do with some support.

The girl I spent the night with the other night has abruptly told me she regrets the whole thing and doesn't want anything to do with me.

She said she felt it was too soon and although she wanted to at the time, now regrets it.

I've been pretty down all day. I keep thinking I'm a Fucking monster that pushed someone into doing something they didn't want to do, even though we'd planned it 2 weeks in advance and I told her there was no pressure and I was happy to wait until she was ready.

We'd been dating over a month and she was all up for it and everything was consensual - I kept checking with her if she was okay and wanted to continue. The things she specifically said she didn't want to do, we didn't do.

We even cuddled after, talked a lot and laughed and joked and then had breakfast the next morning. Next thing I know, she just did a complete 180 on me.

Although I kept ensuring she was okay and wanted to continue and I know it was consensual, I still feel like a horrible human being. I've felt awful and guilty all day.

I've always been respectful of a girl's wishes and never pushed anyone into doing something they didn't want to and I was actually in tears earlier thinking that I'm a Fucking scumbag of a human being.

I'm so worried I'm going to relapse into depression again because of this.

If anyone can help I'd really appreciate it as I could do with some support right now

Thank you to anyone who reaches out
 
Spider Jerusalem said:
I keep thinking I'm a Fucking monster that pushed someone into doing something they didn't want to do, even though we'd planned it 2 weeks in advance and I told her there was no pressure and I was happy to wait until she was ready.
Click to expand...

lol

If all monsters were like you, the world would be a beautiful place.

Girls flip, man. You better remember this. Sweet girls I approached/dated, turned cold the next day. What probably happened is that after the sex she decided she doesn't want to see you again (super typical) and doesn't care about your feelings. Nothing you could do so stop beating yourself.

If you want to last in the dating game, you better make peace with the fact that 9 out of 10 girls will decide to not move forward with you and a good chunk of them will make it seem as if it was your fault.
 
Crisis_Overcomer said:
Spider Jerusalem said:
I keep thinking I'm a Fucking monster that pushed someone into doing something they didn't want to do, even though we'd planned it 2 weeks in advance and I told her there was no pressure and I was happy to wait until she was ready.
Click to expand...

lol

If all monsters were like you, the world would be a beautiful place.

Girls flip, man. You better remember this. Sweet girls I approached/dated, turned cold the next day. What probably happened is that after the sex she decided she doesn't want to see you again (super typical) and doesn't care about your feelings. Nothing you could do so stop beating yourself.

If you want to last in the dating game, you better make peace with the fact that 9 out of 10 girls will decide to not move forward with you and a good chunk of them will make it seem as if it was your fault.
Click to expand...

Crisis_Overcomer

Thank you so much - I really needed this :arrow_up:

Spider
 
Spider Jerusalem said:
We even cuddled after, talked a lot and laughed and joked and then had breakfast the next morning. Next thing I know, she just did a complete 180 on me.

Although I kept ensuring she was okay and wanted to continue and I know it was consensual, I still feel like a horrible human being. I've felt awful and guilty all day.

I've always been respectful of a girl's wishes and never pushed anyone into doing something they didn't want to and I was actually in tears earlier thinking that I'm a Fucking scumbag of a human being.
Click to expand...

Hey man, in a relationship, any human relationship, you're only 50% of the equation.

You checked with her multiple times and never got any negative feedback it sounds like - you're not a mind-reader so you can only work with what the other person communicates.
Noticing and communicating her hang-ups, doubts or desires was her responsibility first, not yours.

And the fact that you feel awful and guilty means you're the exact opposite of a horrible human being, lol.
It's a sign of a good person to feel that way when you fuck up, but you're taking on wayyyy too much responsibility for the fuck up of another person.
 
KillYourInnerLoser said:
Re: the girl regretting it, you're not alone. Watch this, it'll make you feel better:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wswJnnH9b-4

You're a good person, dude. Don't fret.

And go read this book; particularly the chapters on guilt and shame:
https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/16098910-letting-go
Click to expand...

Thank you so much Andy. I really appreciate the support and it means a lot coming from you

I’ll watch that one now and definitely check out the book 📖

Thank you

Spider
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top