Spider Jerusalem
Member
- Joined
- Oct 11, 2021
Day 58: 08/12/2021
Over the past week or so, Iβve been trying to put more effort into my log updates as it is my 365-project and I want to actually take it seriously - I may do another one next year and want to get into the habit of putting effort in when I can
Okay day again today. Feeling a lot less guilty compared to last week and I've come to terms with things - or rather I'm in the process still, but Iβm getting there
Broke my No-Fap streak, so a bit of a bad start to the day, but I'm learning to see the positives in situations thanks to the book I'm reading. Work was alright - bit of snappiness, but nothing major. Usual girl shit
Also made a commitment in regards to Jiu-Jitsu which I've detailed below. Got my reading, early wake-up and podcast (usual stuff) done as well, so keeping up the streak
Todays Update:
- Woke up at 04:30 again
View attachment 1
- Broke my No-Fap Streak, but I'm looking at the positives:
- I Got to day 5.
- Didn't binge.
- Didn't use porn.
I'd beat myself up about this in the past, but I think the book I'm reading is really helping. I've acknowledged that I'm not perfect and that as someone who is still a young man, this is completely natural to have these urges and desires
I've Reset my counter and I'm back in the game
View attachment 3
- KillYourInnerLoser Andy sent me over some podcast dates/times - currently working out my schedule, but gonna get back to him very soon and put something in motion
- Had Coffee and Contemplation at my Battle Station this morning οΈ
and
- Listened to Episode #59 of Andy's Podcast - Day 59: I Need to Pay My Bills, & Moving to a New City. Really inspiring to see Andy and Imogen going all-in, especially during a very turbulent and uncertain time with COVID and the COVID-economy. Got laid off myself back then and had to re-apply for my own Fucking job and took a pay/hours cut when I did get my own job back so I know how difficult it was and how much of a leap it must've been for Andy to do this so respect to him and Imogen
View attachment 2
- Read some more of 'Letting Go: The Pathway of Surrender'. The last chapter I read was very interesting regarding Grief and Suffering. The chapter discussed a lot about repressed emotions and how holding them in can lead to these feelings building up over years and affecting future relationships, friendships and your life in general
I recently mentioned on my log that I come from an old-school family where 'Stoicism' or a version of it where you don't show your emotions is the general consensus and part of how I was raised. I see now that this can be damaging and the book mentions that acknowledging and accepting your emotions in order to work through them is a crucial step in 'letting go'. The book I have recently purchased - Meditations by Marcus Aurelius upon Andy and couple of other forum members recommendation is something that I believe will help with this so I can embrace a healthier form of Stoicism and acknowledge my emotions but without them overwhelming me
- I have signed up for a Foundation Jiu-Jitsu course and paid the fees in full up front to hold myself accountable and ensure I commit. This course starts on 05/01/2022. I felt this was the better option as opposed to jumping straight in and getting my ass kicked considering I haven't trained in years. Soon as I started training a couple years ago, the Government went full dictatorship and we went into Lockdown over CoronaBollocks. I've made a financial commitment today anyway to show I'm serious
- I have decided to change my financial goals after looking into my finances. Instead of saving Β£1000 (1325.30 USD) a month, for the first year, I am going to try to save Β£1250 a month (1656.63 USD). After assessing my finances, current saving, bills, and other outgoings, I think this is something that is achievable. I want to save as much money as possible to set me up for my future where I can own my own home. I've also cut down my expenses significantly by cancelling a lot of my subscriptions and pointless bullshit I was wasting my money on. I'll see how I get on with this one and I can drop back to Β£1000 if necessary
- Worked 9-5
Little bit of bitchiness and snappiness in the office today, but it's just a load of shit which I'm brushing off and working through. Boss says I worked real hard today and got a lot done - Yeah, Probably because I don't gossip. I'll be working from home soon anyway by the looks of things so Fuck it. I'm just thinking of the money I'm on and the fact it's an office job and I'm not working my old job which I hated
That's it for today's update
Gonna relax a little now and maybe do some reading if I got time before bed
Photos have been attached for accountability purposes
Thanks for reading
Spider π·
Over the past week or so, Iβve been trying to put more effort into my log updates as it is my 365-project and I want to actually take it seriously - I may do another one next year and want to get into the habit of putting effort in when I can
Okay day again today. Feeling a lot less guilty compared to last week and I've come to terms with things - or rather I'm in the process still, but Iβm getting there
Broke my No-Fap streak, so a bit of a bad start to the day, but I'm learning to see the positives in situations thanks to the book I'm reading. Work was alright - bit of snappiness, but nothing major. Usual girl shit
Also made a commitment in regards to Jiu-Jitsu which I've detailed below. Got my reading, early wake-up and podcast (usual stuff) done as well, so keeping up the streak
Todays Update:
- Woke up at 04:30 again
View attachment 1
- Broke my No-Fap Streak, but I'm looking at the positives:
- I Got to day 5.
- Didn't binge.
- Didn't use porn.
I'd beat myself up about this in the past, but I think the book I'm reading is really helping. I've acknowledged that I'm not perfect and that as someone who is still a young man, this is completely natural to have these urges and desires
I've Reset my counter and I'm back in the game
View attachment 3
- KillYourInnerLoser Andy sent me over some podcast dates/times - currently working out my schedule, but gonna get back to him very soon and put something in motion
- Had Coffee and Contemplation at my Battle Station this morning οΈ
and
- Listened to Episode #59 of Andy's Podcast - Day 59: I Need to Pay My Bills, & Moving to a New City. Really inspiring to see Andy and Imogen going all-in, especially during a very turbulent and uncertain time with COVID and the COVID-economy. Got laid off myself back then and had to re-apply for my own Fucking job and took a pay/hours cut when I did get my own job back so I know how difficult it was and how much of a leap it must've been for Andy to do this so respect to him and Imogen
View attachment 2
- Read some more of 'Letting Go: The Pathway of Surrender'. The last chapter I read was very interesting regarding Grief and Suffering. The chapter discussed a lot about repressed emotions and how holding them in can lead to these feelings building up over years and affecting future relationships, friendships and your life in general
I recently mentioned on my log that I come from an old-school family where 'Stoicism' or a version of it where you don't show your emotions is the general consensus and part of how I was raised. I see now that this can be damaging and the book mentions that acknowledging and accepting your emotions in order to work through them is a crucial step in 'letting go'. The book I have recently purchased - Meditations by Marcus Aurelius upon Andy and couple of other forum members recommendation is something that I believe will help with this so I can embrace a healthier form of Stoicism and acknowledge my emotions but without them overwhelming me
- I have signed up for a Foundation Jiu-Jitsu course and paid the fees in full up front to hold myself accountable and ensure I commit. This course starts on 05/01/2022. I felt this was the better option as opposed to jumping straight in and getting my ass kicked considering I haven't trained in years. Soon as I started training a couple years ago, the Government went full dictatorship and we went into Lockdown over CoronaBollocks. I've made a financial commitment today anyway to show I'm serious
- I have decided to change my financial goals after looking into my finances. Instead of saving Β£1000 (1325.30 USD) a month, for the first year, I am going to try to save Β£1250 a month (1656.63 USD). After assessing my finances, current saving, bills, and other outgoings, I think this is something that is achievable. I want to save as much money as possible to set me up for my future where I can own my own home. I've also cut down my expenses significantly by cancelling a lot of my subscriptions and pointless bullshit I was wasting my money on. I'll see how I get on with this one and I can drop back to Β£1000 if necessary
- Worked 9-5
Little bit of bitchiness and snappiness in the office today, but it's just a load of shit which I'm brushing off and working through. Boss says I worked real hard today and got a lot done - Yeah, Probably because I don't gossip. I'll be working from home soon anyway by the looks of things so Fuck it. I'm just thinking of the money I'm on and the fact it's an office job and I'm not working my old job which I hated
That's it for today's update
Gonna relax a little now and maybe do some reading if I got time before bed
Photos have been attached for accountability purposes
Thanks for reading
Spider π·