Spider’s Progress Log 🕷 DAY 366: Continuation Log Link ⛓️

[Spider Jerusalem]

Day 65: 15/12/2021

Self-reflection

Want to say a big thankyou to Brother_Tucker and Now who had the back and forth with me yesterday on this progress log. I took the opportunity to do some self-reflection after reading the responses last night and during my free time this morning. Slowly coming to a few realisations about what happened recently and I am taking the opportunity to learn from it

I was on a downer for a week or 2 after and this experience did really affect me, but with everyone's help, I'm getting there and working on getting back into the dating

I realise and accept now that it wasn't my fault. Although I can use this experience to be more aware for the future when I start dating again. Hopefully soon. I'm swiping and chatting a little, so I'm not completely off the dating

Had to go into the office today for some training, so I got there early and had some time to kill. Took my book and headphones and made use of the dead time by getting through another chapter and one of Andy's podcasts

- Woke up at 04:30 Hrs

- Had Coffee and Contemplation at my Battle-Station ️

- Listened to Episode #69 (Lol ) of Andy's Podcast - Day 69: Should You Put Aside Getting Laid During COVID?

With a new 'Scariant' on the way, this is definitely a relevant episode again. The Government recently voted in more draconian Lockdown measures - mandatory vaccinations for health workers, Mandatory masks etc. Although I'm on a break from dating, it's made me realise I can't use things like COVID or past experiences as excuses. Already re-joined Tinder and bought Tinder Gold, so it's a small step. It's a numbers game and eventually I'll meet a decent girl

- Listened to Episode #70 of Andy's Podcast - Day 70: Having Sex in Public When I Didn't Have Good Logistics

Interesting to hear some of these stories. This is something I got into myself when I was a teenager and still living at home. Now I'm older it's not something that I don't do any more as when I was younger, it was out of necessity rather than desire. Also with the job I was working in my late teens and early 20's, I had to behave myself. I know some of the guys enjoy outdoor stuff and I got nothing against it, it just isn't for me

- Read some more of Letting Go: The Pathway of Surrender

Yesterday's chapter was on Love. For me this chapter was a bit 'Hippy Dippy' and some of the arguments me personally I found were a bit silly: 'Love Hitler and forgive him and see that he was a victim of the pressures at the time and misguided...'. I'm gonna have to pass on that. My Grandfather saw the horrors of the concentration camps in WW2 and never spoke about what he saw. Bit of a step too far I think. Some things re unforgivable

I did see some of the merits of this chapter however - being loving towards others and radiating positive energy makes sense. I'm a bit sceptical however, as I don't believe in love. It has been compared by scientists to heroin addiction as it's series of chemical reactions in the brain and if there's a lost love like a breakup, the brain patterns and chemical reactions are similar to coming off heroin

- Worked 9-5

Not so bad today. Had to go in the office which was a pain, but I'm pretty much fully trained now so I can just work from home. Cases etc. are rising with this new variant and so they've said 'don't come to work'. Lol. Fine by me - I get to just sit there and listen to podcasts or music. Just gotta turn it off when the phone goes so I don't get in trouble

That's it for today. Gotta go do a food shop, so I'll post this now then go out and get my head down when I come back

Photos have been attached for accountability purposes

Thanks for Reading

Spider 🕷

 

[Spider Jerusalem]

I do want to stress this, these accusations are rare, they do not happen to everyone and for the most part if you're not being creepy or pushing way to hard, you will probably never face one, especially when you get better at screening (this is why I go for second date lays rather than first date, I'm a bit more cautious and want to know the girl isn't completely crazy.

I've only ever once come close to a false accusation and that was at party. A long story short a girl started hitting on me, we made out and she put my hand on her. When I realized she was more drunk than I thought I backed off made an excuse and walked away from the situation, I'm not putting myself into dumb situations when I have as many other hell yes girls open to me (the advantage to having a rotation). Later she kicked off at another guest later saying they were trying to feel her up and take advantage and she was eventually kicked from the party for causing problems. Right there could have been a really bad night for me, but I had 3 things which made sure that didn't happen: -

1. Abundance - Other options so I'm not desperate
2. Experience - Able to spot the signs and walk away
3. Situational Awareness - Not being drunk and knowing that playing stupid games only wins stupid prizes

You have these things too, as long as you keep these things in mind you may never run into this situation again.

I realize what I said about women came off more negative than I meant. You have to love them for who they are, not who you want them to be. Accountability is a big problem, but you just have to accept that its going to come up in any relationship. You don't have to put up with bad behavior but you do have to know that it can and will come up from time to time.

From no more Mr Nice Guy, she was the wrong women, you can find really great women she just wasn't it and that's OK, keep looking.

Something similar did happen to me last year with a girl I was dating. Some guy who was jealous of us text her telling her he was my 'secret girlfriend' and he made up that I was a abuser/violent and lots of false accusations etc. He got found out in the end, but Fuck me, that was another stressful week. People know the damage and power a statement like that can cause.

I guess it's knowing the warning signs, seeing it for what it is and walking away like you say. I'm past my desperate SIMP stage now thankfully and I quit drinking 5 years ago so I just need the Experience to know when it looks like it's not working out which I've got a fair bit of after what happened. I've already binned off a Tinder match because she started talking about BDSM and how she likes being choked etc. then she'd completely change and say she's a 'proper lady' and that I need to date her properly. Red flag central.

I think society is to blame for this 'Disney Princess' false reality that gets put in men (and women's) heads so when shit goes wrong and we got a heavy dose of the red pill, our reality gets turned upside down. After watching the Black Dragon interview, I'm definitely not tolerating any drama or bullshit anymore.

I'll keep looking and see if I can find her, although the search will be a little under-resourced for the time being during my short break.

Thanks for the continued support - much appreciated.

Spider 🕷

 

[Spider Jerusalem]

Day 66: 16/12/2021

Accepting my limitations Podcast blast through Tinder Timewaster gets binned off 🗑

Just watched the '1000 Forum Members is Radical!' video on YouTube and it was really interesting to hear about the origins of this site and how it evolved into what it is today. It's got to be one of the best online Communities I've seen and I'm really happy for Radical and KillYourInnerLoser as well as everyone else who made it what it is today. Looking forward to seeing the next milestone get hit. Thanks for the shoutout and Congratulations!

So I'd planned to get up early and do lots of active stuff this morning, but I've somehow Fucked my back up

I have persistent back issues and sometimes it flares up. Usually I wake up and there's a sharp stabbing pain whenever I twist and bend. I think it's because I've started a new job and I'm just sat down all day with bad posture. I'm going to have to actively keep an eye on this and try fix it

Instead of beating myself up and calling myself a 'useless cripple' (I'm a bit self-conscious about my back) I'm just gonna see it for what it is and accept it:

'I've got a curved spine, it's not my fault, I was born with it and it just plays up sometimes and I gotta take it easy.'


On a side note, in this country, we have a socialised healthcare system and their attitude as of late? 'If it ain't COVID, we ain't interested'. Routine procedures e.g. cancer screenings are actually being POSTPONED so that healthy people who don't need it can get their booster jabs. I'm getting private healthcare soon. This is getting beyond a Fucking joke now

I still got up early, just couldn't do what I'd planned to do, so I've been productive in other ways - got through a few Podcasts, read more of my book etc. I'll have to see how my back is tomorrow

- Woke up at 04:30 Hrs - went back to bed for half an hour but didn't sleep, just propped myself up to rest my back

- Had Coffee and Contemplation at my Battle Station ️

- Listened to Episode #71 of Andy's Podcast - Day 71: The Only Thing that Matters: Just Don't Ever Fucking Quit.
Listened to this yesterday, but forgot to post. One of my favourite episodes. Short and to the point. Enough said.

- Listened to Episode #72 of Andy's Podcast - Day 72: How to Develop a Sense of Humour.
Good advice on this. I think I've got a decent sense of humour it's something I'm constantly trying to develop. Making a girl laugh goes a long way to getting them into bed. I've accepted now though that my sense of humour isn't for everybody

- Listened to Episode #73 of Andy's Podcast - Day 73: How to Get Started with BDSM [Part 1].
Good to listen to this one. I am on a dating break still, but BDSM is something I have dabbled in and want to further explore. Have a few toys myself. I'm going to get back into this at some point when I start dating and I've screened the right girl. This is next level and I don't need a repeat of what happened last time

- Listened to Episode #74 of Andy's Podcast - Day 74: How to Get Started with BDSM [Part 2].
Wanted to carry on from Part 1. Really solid advice on being dominant and having that dynamic

- Chatted to a girl on Tinder I matched with. Binned off after 3/4 messages. Realised she was a Timewaster and a Single Mother. As a rule, I don't date single mothers, but occasionally I'll sleep with them if the circumstances are right. Stated she'd made an account to waste time at night and 'wasn't looking at meeting right now'. Also, she complained about having a child and being tired all the time etc. and I pointed out it was her choice - she was 19 when she had the child which meant she got pregnant at 18. Similar to the conversation I was having on my log yesterday, saw a bit of a lack of responsibility from this girl. I'm taking any sign of a lack of a responsibility as a major red flag now Unmatched straight away. Ain't got time for games, drama and bullshit

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- Read some more of Letting Go: The Pathway of Surrender
Yesterday's chapter was on Peace. I don't think I've been at peace for many, many years now if ever. I do long for a state of peace. It's hard when I struggle with anxiety etc. but I'm hopeful that if I carry on with my self-improvement journey, one day something will just click and I'll feel at peace.

- Cleaned my room. Work's been a bit busy lately, so things have piled up. I've had a quick clear and I'll give it a proper clean and tidy over the weekend or tonight if I can - don't really like cleaning on my days off

- Worked 9-5
Been offered some overtime for next week which I've decided to take. Helping me meet my financial goals. More hours I do, quicker I can move out and get what I want in life. I'm willing to seriously graft and save over the next couple of years to get where I want. I get my first full month pay check on Christmas Eve. 100% of this will be going into my savings account plus a little extra to make it up to a nice even number.

That's it for today's update

Photo's have been attached for accountability purposes

Thanks for reading

Spider 🕷

 

[Spider Jerusalem]

Day 67: 17/12/2021

Tinder boosts ️ Letting Go 🕊 and a new denim 🏷

Forgot to mention I've recently gone past day 65 of my 365 day project, so there's now less than 300 days to go. Having this mindset and seeing this milestone really speaks volumes as to how far I've come. Next milestone? 100 Days

Spider Clause came early today 🕷

I bit the bullet and decided to invest in some Tinder boosts: I bought 20 of them in one go through the Web App. Saved myself over 10 bucks!

View attachment 6

Thanks to Andy for advising I check the web price first on his guide which I've been working my way through

Decided I'm gonna step up my getting laid game in 2022, but I've started now because I refuse to buy into the whole 'New Year New Me!' Bollocks. Peak level cringe when I was on Facebook back in the late 2000's and early 2010's and it was all anybody posted about round this time of year Do people still post that bullshit this time of year?

Also, my Nomad denim vest came today and I'm pretty pleased with it. It looks cool and it's playing well into my Rocker-boy style I'm going for. Might get some decent boots next, but this is gonna go well with a piercing, haircut, pair of jeans and short stubble/beard. I'm enjoying investing some money into myself and my self-improvement. I don't feel as guilty for buying things if they are going to a good cause. Trying to learn to love myself without sounding weird

View attachment 7

- Woke up at 04:30 Hrs. Bit of a struggle this morning as I didn't sleep great last night. Think I got about 5 hours sleep :L I said 'Fuck it' and got up anyway, but I'm not feeling too energetic today so I'm gonna try get an early night

- Had coffee and contemplation at my Battle Station ️

- Listened to Episode #75 of Andy's Podcast - Day 75: RogerRoger on Hitting on 124 Girls in 10 Hours.
Mad respect to RogerRoger. Really inspirational to hear how he went out and smashed this. I myself have always preferred online game as it's easier and more convenient, but I like the idea that I could build up the confidence to cold approach if I saw the opportunity. I have cold approached in the past and it has worked on occasion. I have checked out the AA program and this is something I may consider in the future for the opportunistic aspect

- Read some more of Letting Go: The Pathway of Surrender. Today's chapter was on reducing stress and physical illness. I can see the link between our emotions and our physical health. How we feel can influence how our body is. Studies have been going for years about how the brain and body are linked. I think if I start to let go, I may physically start to feel better

- Charged up my car battery ready for the annual check tomorrow. Hopefully it passes the test and I can start driving to the Gym. It's a 40 minute walk both ways in morning winter weather before work otherwise, so I'm gonna hold off until this is sorted. Fingers crossed ️️

- Gave my room the weekly clean. Save me doing it over the weekend. Cleared all the work shit off my Battle Station - I'm trying to keep my work/home life separate as much as possible. Kinda difficult when I'm working from home, but I'm doing what I can for my mental health. Definitely valuing my time a lot more

- Worked 9-5

Somebody at work made a bit of a mockery of me to show off - not in a jokey way, but in a passive-aggressive way over a video conference call. I don't deal well with this kinda bullshit as I'm a man surrounded by women. It’s not what I’m used to. If I have a problem with someone, it’s discussed privately and directly with the person, not publicly in front of others - it’s unprofessional as well as embarrassing

I was quite pissed off, but I tried the technique of 'Letting Go' and I brushed it off. Felt better immediately. I keep telling myself I won't be there for longer than a year or two and this is definitely helping. Will this bullshit really matter in a year when I go somewhere new?

Exactly. Fuck it

- Bought 20 Tinder Boosts. Been chatting to a few prospects too. One is very cute, but I seem to remember matching with her before and getting blanked twice. She seems responsive this time. Could be more photos or 'Lockdown Loneliness', but I'm keeping my expectations low and not building things up. Learning from my mistakes. Nothing else of note, but I might do a boost later between the recommended times on Andy's guide before I go to bed. Worth a shot. I'll post anything of note tomorrow if I get any decent prospects

- Nomad Vest came. Gonna enjoy rocking this and seeing what works with it

And that's it for today's update

Photos have been posted for accountability purposes

Thanks for reading

Spider 🕷

 

[Zug]

I agree that letting it go is way better than letting it eat at you, but in general I'd recommend confronting people in any situation where there is a high likelihood of it happening again. Every time you don't, it becomes more acceptable, more likely, and harder to fix. I think it does wonders for character development as well, both for you and the person being confronted. You'd be surprised how little you have to say to get your point across and never have it happen again. Even just a "Hey Bill, I didn't appreciate that comment yesterday" is enough 90% of the time.

 

[Spider Jerusalem]

Hey Zug

Don’t get me wrong I’ve got my boundaries on things, but in this case, I’ve seen it for what it is:

The workplace is their sad little world and they will never have anything else in life.

Im working with all women and they need the gossip, rumours and passive-aggressive behaviour to get themselves through it.

I kinda feel sorry for them,

This job is just a stop-gap for me and I’m seeing myself as winning in that sense as I won’t be there for too long, so stuff like the odd comment? I’m brushing off as it really doesn’t matter and I’m focusing on the stuff that does - self-improvement.

I do see where you’re coming from as regards not letting people walk over me and If this became a regular occurrence though or looked like it was turning into that, I would definitely take action. But the odd comment I’m starting to just let it go over my head and see it for what it is.

Thanks for your input

Spider 🕷

 

[Spider Jerusalem]

Day 68: 18/12/2021

10 Tinder Matches and Adapting to overcome

Up and down day today. Car failed it's annual check - was hoping to drive to the gym, but this needs fixing first. Don't wanna postpone it for much longer though, so I'm gonna try figure something out. I'm making it my mission to adapt and overcome this. Got a few ideas, I'll see what I can do

Was productive this morning, then just chilled this past afternoon. Haven't really had much to do. Might wrap some Christmas presents and it's a job done then

Enjoying the break to be honest

Today's Update

- Woke up at 04:30. Had a better sleep and I took an hour off this morning and lay in bed resting up and playing on my phone. Got a lotta shit ticked off my list yesterday - tidied my room, charged up my car, so thought I'd have a chill for a bit. Won't be making a habit of this as I like to treat my mornings as my productive time where I can get things done before I have to grind at work for 8 hours!

- Had coffee and contemplation at my Battle Station. Reflecting after a long week at work. Thinking about where I want to go in life and what I want out of it. Nice to decompress after the bullshit. ️

- Listened to Episode #76 of Andy's Podcast - Day 76: How Do I Trust My Girlfriend?
I've had similar problems in the relationship I was in and it's a big reason why I've avoided relationships for 8 years. It's easier to cut off from things when it's casual. I've always been trusting to some degree - I wouldn't trust a girl with my bank details for example, but I would have that base level of trust where I trust a girl not to cheat. It's generally the girls I've dated who have the trust issues. Examples that spring to mind:

Got a scratch on my neck from working in my garden and of course, she was convinced it was from another girl.

Kept asking to see my phone. This was the girl with the jealous beta guy friend who pretended to be my secret girlfriend. Caused a lot of trust issues even though I was vindicated and proven to have done nothing wrong.

One girl threw accusations if I didn't text back straight away.

Another threatened to get her dad on me if she thought I was cheating. Fucked this one off straight away. I don't tolerate threats.

It's why I now prefer casual - they can sleep with who they want and so can I and I couldn't care less. No Drama, no bullshit, no trust issues and if there is? 'There's the door'. Key takeaway from this episode was to keep building and working on myself and making my life awesome. If I do ever get into a relationship and I think that the girl is worth it then I'd probably try work through the issues

- Listened to Episode #77 of Andy's Podcast - Day 77: A 3some, A New Lease on Life & An Update. Good to see Andy and Imogen getting back into things after having to quarantine. Definitely agree that the Governments around the world have Fucked everything up with their bullshit laws and have arguably caused a mental health crisis. People being treated like walking biological weapons is disgraceful and I won't ever forgive my Government. Interesting 3some story too. Sadly, it looks like this restriction bullshit is coming back in my country. Feels like it's never gonna end

- Read some more of Letting Go: The Pathway of Surrender.
Applied the technique of this yesterday and it worked. Felt better and brushed some bullshit that didn't matter off. Water off a duck's back. Today's chapter was on the relationship between mind and body. This was following on from yesterday's chapter. Interesting to see the links. Also read the next chapter which covered The Benefits of Letting Go. I've definitely seen some benefits already. Gonna stick with it and hopefully long-term, I see more benefits. I got the book for future reference if necessary

- Got 10 matches/likes (got Tinder Gold so I can see likes) from my boost last night - half of these are realistic prospects in terms of attractiveness, distance, attitude etc. I just love it when girls put passive-aggressive shit in their bios - really helps with the screening process! I'll shoot off a few messages later and see what happens. One girl text first and seems pretty keen. Bit wary of girls like this as it ends in disaster at a higher frequency compared to when I text first. I know Andy mentioned about overly-keen girls. Nothing sexual in the first message though, so I'll talk to her a spell and put the feelers out. Any sign of drama, I'll delta

- Took my car to get it's annual motor test and... it Failed. Gonna have to be done over the Christmas break now. Not gonna be able to drive to the gym which Fucking blows. I'll have to postpone or figure something else out. If it comes to it I may have to walk, but that's like 40 minutes. I'll figure something out

- Watched Andy's Podcast with Dewm on YouTube. This was Fucking awesome. Really good to hear some more of his story and I respect and admire him for talking about his past openly and honestly. Been learning a lot from his log

- Gonna boost on Tinder later just before bed on the recommended times. Hopefully I have a decent result with the matches. I'll post anything of note tomorrow ️

That's it for today. Gonna take a break now as it's Saturday night

Photos have been posted for accountability purposes

Thanks for reading

Spider 🕷

 

[Spider Jerusalem]

Day 69 P): 19/12/2021

Lockdown 4 Normie opinions Tinder boost fail

Day 69 - One of my favourite numbers aha! I wish I had some positive news for Day 69. Recently I've been dealing with 'normie opinions' from people in my life

I've recently been criticised for a number of things:

- 'Why are you getting up so early? There must be something wrong with you'.
- 'You shouldn't go to the gym with COVID'.
- 'You shouldn't go to Jiu-Jitsu with COVID'.
- 'Can't understand why you read so much - how can anyone enjoy that?'
- 'You're boring for not drinking'.
- 'Why don't you play the Xbox anymore?'
- 'You don't drink, you eat healthy, why don't you have any enjoyment in life? I don't get it.'
- 'Why are you working for a charity? They probably don't pay much.'
- Tutting and sighing when I politely turned down a McDonald's.



These are just some of the normie opinions I face regularly. There is also a bit of a difficult situation I'm in at the minute in that the people in my life are very pro-lockdown and pro-vaccination. These same people however enjoy living unhealthy lifestyles. I'm constantly feeling guilty due to wanting to go out and have a life, but I worry I'll bring COVID home and make these people in my life seriously ill. I'm being made to feel guilty for wanting to live my life which I've effectively put on hold for the past 2 years ⛓

I've recently listened to one of Andy's podcasts about brushing off normie opinions and I think I'm doing well at this, it's just hard when it comes from your family

I'm considering moving out for 6 months to eliminate the risk to my family, but this would mean holding off on my financial goals and lets be honest, is this shit really gonna calm down in 6 months? I'm at a bit of a crossroads at the minute and need to think on this

In other news, starting to look like Christmas is gonna get cancelled and we're going into Lockdown again. Omnicron has got everybody in Government getting a tyranny boner and there's talk of another Lockdown. It never ends. I won't be complying

Tinder boost didn't get much of a result last night which is a pity. I'll hold off on boosting for a little while now as that's 2 I've used and they ain't cheap!

Overall a bit of a difficult time lately, but I'm trying to remain positive

Today's Update:

- Woke up at 04:30 Hrs

- Had coffee and contemplation at my Battle Station ️

- Listened to Episode #78 of Andy's Podcast - Day 78: Going to a Girl's Place vs Her Coming to Yours

I liked the honesty aspects in this one where if you aren't having sex, you just have that conversation and leave. I've been programmed to always think 'I gotta stay and pretend and just put up with this shit...' but no more. Next time I go round a girl's place and she doesn't want to put out, I'll have that honest conversation with her then just leave. Starting to value my time a lot more now I'm working so I'm more willing to do this than ever. I'm hopeful that in a couple of years I will have my own place and I can have a lot more power in that I can invite girls over and it'll be 'my place, my rules'. If I'm not getting what I want, why should I continue to opt into a bad deal?

- Read some more of Letting Go: The Pathway of Surrender.

I recently had a bit of back and forth with Andy about how I thought some of the chapters were a bit Hippy Dippy and should be taken with a pinch of salt. I'm starting to acknowledge that this is likely due to my societal programming and traditional family close-mindedness. I'm going to actively try to be more open-minded with this in the future. A long and difficult road to walk down, but a journey I'm willing to attempt. 🏞

Today's chapter was on Tranformation and how letting go will change your life even though you may not realise it and will likely attribute it to other factors. I’ll have to keep an eye and see if I notice any changes.

Other than that, just done standard stuff today like went shopping and wrapped Christmas presents, so that’s taken up most of my time

I’ll get back on things tomorrow and put another update on

Photos have been posted for accountability purposes

Thanks for reading

Spider 🕷

 

[Now]

Why are those sorts of opinions in your life? People actively trying to sabotage your life. I'd make it a priority to surround yourself by better people. If you can't move out (which honestly I'd make a PRIORITY), at least make more solid mates to balance that out.
https://killyourinnerloser.com/surround-yourself-with-good-people/

Was trying to find a nice way to say it, but what Andy said exactly. Even when it's family, maybe even more so when it's family.

Take it from me, family is easily the most influential group in your life - whether it's good or bad.

We're all gonna make it,

Now

 

[Spider Jerusalem]

Now KillYourInnerLoser

Thanks for your input guys - I’m in a bit of a difficult situation at the minute as my father recently had a heart attack and there’s other things going on.

I’m back home as I need to look after my folks for a bit

Could do with meeting some positive influences in the meantime to balance this out, but I am planning on moving out when things have calmed down and they get settled

Thanks again

 

[Spider Jerusalem]

Day 70: 20/12/2021

️MASSIVE ACTION️ Difficult Conversations Podcast Milestone

Today I decided to take Massive Action with my main goal of bulking up:

I went to the Gym at 04:45 this morning.

This was the first time I've been to the Gym in about half a year. I decided that I've been suffering from 'Fuck-around-itis' for far too long, so I got up this morning, put on some workout clothes and just walked to the Gym

My mind kept trying to talk myself out of going and was actively looking for excuses:

'Someone could burgle the house whilst I'm gone...'

'We're probably going into Lockdown soon, so what's the point?'

‘What about COVID?'

I realised that these were the same normie opinions I've been hearing from others recently and told my brain 'Shut up. We're doing this.'

Got there, worked out and it wasn't perfect, but I gave myself permission to suck and did it

I'm gonna look to start going at least 3 times a week to begin with and take it from there. Originally planned to go 6 times a week, but realised this is just gonna make me pissed off and I'll probably give up. I'll aim for the 3 minimum for now and build up gradually.

Also made sure to eat properly and take protein shakes today. Doing a slow, gradual build up with the diet alongside the exercise

Also had a difficult conversation with my family. After Now and KillYourInnerLoser gave me some input on yesterday's post, I decided to act: I told them it wasn't fair on me for them to criticise me for enjoying different things to them and that what I do does not effect their lives in any way. Also mentioned that I don't criticise them for their pastimes, so it wasn't fair for them to do it to me. I can't move out at the minute or cut my family off, but I can call them out on criticising me for what I do. Hopefully this will be the end of the matter and they’ll keep these opinions to themselves.

Part of not listening to normie opinions meant me going to the Gym this morning. Fuelled the fire if anything

Also hit a Podcast Milestone today - I've now listened to over 80 of Andy's Podcasts. Next milestone will be 100 Podcasts

Today's Update

- Woke up at 04:30

- Left to walk to the Gym at 04:45 and worked out

- On my way to the Gym I Listened to Andy's Podcast Episode #80 - Day 80: Another 3some with a Virgin & Andy Supports the Gays

I like hearing the threesome stories probably because I'm a bit of a perv but I think it also gives me a unique insight. I am warming to the idea of having a 3some. I did have one many years ago, but I was quite drunk and ended up disappointing 2 women at the same time - just my luck

- Listened to Andy's Podcast Episode #81 - Day 81: What’s it Like Being a Woman?

Respect to Imogen for talking openly and giving us a unique insight. I think groups like the Red Pill etc. don't actually stop and consider the other side of the coin. I found this episode very useful and it gave me a new perspective

- Listened to Andy's Podcast Episode #82 - Day 82: How Often Should I See Girls I’m Dating?

Totally agree with the main point on this one - not a solid answer and depends on the girl. You don't wanna crowd each other, but again you don't wanna be neglectful either. I've always gone for twice a week max and it's never done me wrong.

- Kick-started my diet: Made sure I ate after the Gym and took some protein. Taking this easy so I don't puke my guts up as I'm not used to eating

- Read some more of Letting Go: The Pathway of Surrender. Today's chapter was on relationships. Interesting how everything is interconnected and linked. Will have to see if my relationships with others improve after this

- Took some Gym progress pictures - not sharing these. Sorry ; )

- Weighed myself and made a note of it for future reference

That's it for today's update. Really busy day and glad with what I got done.

Photos have been posted for accountability purposes

Thanks for Reading

Spider

🕷

 

[Holden]

You're absolutely killing it with the early rising man. Keep it up

 

[Spider Jerusalem]

You're absolutely killing it with the early rising man. Keep it up

Holden

Thanks man!

Congratulations on the recent Lays too Crushing it!

Spider 🕷

 

[Spider Jerusalem]

Day 71: 21/12/2021

Turning down a job, Hinge and Dating Honesty

Very sore and tired after the Gym yesterday. Programme I'm on is a beginner one and recommends to take a day's rest in between. On top of that, gotta stay late tonight at work on overtime. Christmas week is a busy period, so got asked to stay over for a couple of hours. The extra money will go nicely into my savings.

Got offered a job earlier at my old workplace, but decided to say no. Bit more money, but I've just got settled in this job. Plus it'll be 2 hours travel time a day. Less time for self-improvement and I'm gonna end up hating my life when I'm tired all the time? I'll pass. More responsibility too by the sounds of things. Gonna stay where I am for a year or so then leave.

I've also joined Hinge after seeing the guys on here mention they've got on well with it - I'll see how I get on.

Dating is a bit difficult lately. I'm very honest and upfront about what I want - it's clearly stated on my profile that I don't want anything serious. I've actually had girls match with me who haven't read my profile then they get pissed off and call me a 'Fuck-boy' and lob abuse at me when they eventually read it or they ask me (I then realise they haven't read it) and I tell them. Lol. Not my fault they didn't read. Some girls we can be deep into a conversation and they just un-match or ghost. This is why I get pissed off with Tinder etc. I'll persist with it and see if I can get Lay number 3 in the bag. I'm seeing the other guys on here smashing it with the lays and I've been inspired.

Today's Update:

- Woke up Early again at 04:45

- Had Coffee and Contemplation at my Battle Station

- Listened to Episode #83 of Andy's Podcast - Day 83: How to Be Happier as a Younger Man [PART 1/2].

Solid advice. I was miserable for about 10 years from the age of about 14/15 and I'm still recovering. Can't remember the last time I was truly happy, but it's something I'm working on. I'm no longer depressed to the point where I can't get out of bed in the morning either, so I've come quite far when I think about it.

- Listened to Episode #84 of Andy's Podcast - Day 84: How to Be Happier as a Younger Man [PART 2/2].

Good advice here about putting your ego in check and asking for help. This was something I struggled with on the forums, but I'm slowly getting comfortable with.

- Read some more of Letting Go: The Pathway of Surrender.

Carried on with the Relationships chapter as I didn't finish it off yesterday. Not long to go then I'll start on The Slight Edge.

- Worked 9-7. Long day with a couple hours of overtime. Can't say no to the extra money.

That's pretty much it for today. Long day at work on the overtime train, but an extra bit of money in the bag.

I'm quite tired, so I'll leave it there and get an extra night.

No photos or emojis today as my phone server is down so I can't post any unfortunately!

Thanks for reading

Spider

🕷

 

[Spider Jerusalem]

Day 72: 22/12/2021

New Job?!

Looks like I'm taking that job I mentioned yesterday after all. Boss phoned me today and said they really want me and I'm the guy for the job (I used to work at this place previously just not as a manager and part time). As it's blended with mostly home working due to COVID, so the travelling time is minimal. What a crazy couple of days I honestly don't know what's happened - I've just blinked and everything has changed. Likely be handing my notice in at the job I'm currently in tomorrow - told this new place I need something in writing first though before I hand my notice in. They should send this through tomorrow. I've sadly learnt the hard way over the years that you gotta cover your ass in the world of work.

In other news, the Gym has now gone into Christmas shutdown for a week, so I can't get in at the moment. I'm gonna have to pick it up again after Christmas if the Government doesn't lock us all down again over a mild cold. There's already talk of more restrictions and bullshit after Christmas. Surprised they actually didn't cancel Christmas like last year. What a joke.

- Woke up at 04:30 Hrs

- Had Coffee and Contemplation at my Battle Station

Worked from home today, so got through a few of Andy's Podcasts. I have the ability to retain audible information whilst completing monotonous tasks.

- Listened to Episode #85 of Andy's Podcast - Day 85: How to Have Sex with Younger Girls (18-21)

Enjoyed this one. I usually date older, but I quite like the idea of dating younger. I think society is quite biased on this subject as if an older woman is dating a younger man, she's praised and it's seen as positive. If an older guy is dating a younger girl though, he's seen as a 'creep' or a 'pervert' and despite the girl obviously being over age, they might be labelled a sex offender. Fuck normie opinions.

- Listened to Episode #86 of Andy's Podcast - Day 86: Tristan Nigro talks Getting Laid & Long-term Relationships

Good to see Tristan back on the podcast. I enjoyed his last podcast on fitness etc. and was interesting to hear his views and experiences on getting laid and the Red Pill. I agree they do get a lot of things wrong. They have some merits of wisdom, but quite a bit of it is toxic and counterproductive.

- Listened to Episode #87 of Andy's Podcast - Day 87: Andy's Nightmarish Experience Trying Weed (Trip to the Hospital)

Had my own experience with this when I was in Amsterdam in my early 20's. Mostly fine, but the one time I didn't feel fully in control. I would try it again but in a safe environment. Saw the dangers of drugs a lot in my old job, so I'd never do the hard stuff. No judgment on anyone who does - it's their life, their choice long as it doesn't affect me I haven't got a problem.

- Listened to Episode #88 of Andy's Podcast - Day 88: Unplanned, Unscripted and Full of Gratitude

Interesting to hear what motivated Andy to start self-improvement as well as the early days of setting up the website and his doubts. Learned a lot from this one particularly about helping others.

- Worked 9-5. Busy busy before Christmas, but looks like I ain't gonna be there much longer anyway! I'm not counting on it until I've gotten written confirmation however.

That's it for today's update - server is still down on my phone so no emojis or photos again for today! Don't know what's up with the damn thing.

Thanks for reading

Spider 🕷

 

[Spider Jerusalem]

Day 73: 23/12/2021

The Right Choice: Quitting my job

Happy Christmas Eve 'Eve'!

Saw something ridiculous today. Wales (part of the U.K) has brought in new COVID laws: You show up to work in person? You get fined. You go to a crowded bar/pub for Christmas? No problem!



I lay in bed for a bit this morning thinking things over - whether I've made the right decision with this new job etc. I'm now pretty sure I have, but you always have doubts and question things when making big decisions. I think that's only natural. I've been rationalising and come up with a list of reasons why this job I'm in now isn't good for me:

Office politics
Office sexism towards Men (Misandry) e.g. 'It's because you're a Man. You're all useless'.
Religious worship of COVID guidelines
Surrounded by Karens
Very cliquey - managers taking sides when other party clearly in the wrong
Unwillingness to train me
Lack of managerial support
Team leader mocking me on a video call with her husband laughing in the background
Pay isn't great
Little opportunity for career advancement
Mostly data input - not very stimulating

It was my team leader mocking me the other day that's kinda the big one as well as the sexism: Shoe was on the other foot and I'd have said 'It's you women you're all useless..'? They woulda fired my ass on the spot and a feminist lynch mob woulda amassed outside

- Woke up at 04:30.

- Had Coffee and Contemplation at my Battle Station ️

and

- Listened to Episode #90 of Andy's Podcast - Day 90: Did Andy Ever Feel Like Giving Up?

I liked this episode a lot. I've had my struggles with self-improvement and feeling like giving up. There's been days where I've had to force myself to get out of bed, write a post on here on my progress log for my 365 Day Project or to even get back onto Tinder despite these being simple and 'easy 'tasks. After that thing happened with that girl last month, I felt like just wiping my progress log clean, retreating back into my old self and going back to being a loser. As well as fighting that feeling off myself, I also owe carrying on to the guys on the forums here. I did feel like an impostor when I first started on the forums, but that feeling has gradually faded over time. I've had my struggles over the years, but I've just kept going.

- I verified myself on Tinder and used a boost. Decent results, had a couple decent looking chicks match with me. One opened with 'Daddy'. Bit wary, but I'll see how it plays out ️

- Handed my notice in at work. Had an honest conversation with my boss where I told her it was nothing personal - It's a management job for more money which I can't afford to turn down. Didn't particularly enjoy doing this, but I gotta do what's right for me. I liked being honest today. Hopefully they don’t give me the crap jobs on my last week

That’s it for today as I’m pretty tired. Gonna get an early night and update again tomorrow

Photos have been posted for accountability purposes

Thanks for reading

Spider 🕷

 

[Spider Jerusalem]

Day 74: 24/12/2021

Financial Goals

Happy Christmas Eve!

I ended up knocking off work an hour earlier which was nice. Still sucked having to work Christmas Eve, but it is what it is. Everybody knows I'm leaving now and got a few well-wishes from folk. Doesn't seem to be any hard feelings and I've left on a good note. It was as painless as it could be I suppose

- Woke up at 04:30 Hrs. I've got my Podcast with Andy soon which is going to be 12:00 A.M at night my time. I have made a tactical decision to get up late(r) on Boxing Day, the 27th and 28th as I have been called into work on the 29th (my second to last shift). The value I will get out of doing Andy's Podcast is worth putting my getting up early/sleep goals off for 3 days or so. I then have the week before I start work to get it back on track

- Renewed my savings account so that I can transfer money into it for this financial year as today is payday

- Had my first (and last!) full pay check from my current job today before I leave in a week. I put 100% of this into my savings. Good start to my financial goals here which I will carry through to the New Year in 2022. I'm just going to try and save as much as I can

- I have a log where I keep track of my expenses. I have updated this to reflect the above

- Watched Andy's recent YouTube video: Storytime: The 23yo Virgin with a Broken Foot & a Heart of Gold. Saw this pop up and gave it a watch this morning. I learn a lot from these sex/dating stories. Particularly around being honest and respectful when engaging with girls. I'm in 2 minds about having threesomes. I think once I build up the experience with dating and sex, it may become something that appeals and a goal to work towards. Have to see in time

- Worked 9-4. Everyone else is on Christmas Shutdown, but I had to work today. Won't be here much longer, but if anything it's giving me motivation to leave this job. 6 Days to go! 🗓

That's it for today. Gonna take a break now as it's Christmas and I'll try get an early night

Photos have been posted for accountability purposes

Thanks for Reading

Spider 🕷

 

[Spider Jerusalem]

Day 75: 25/12/2021

Merry Christmas from Spider Clause!

Merry Christmas from Spider Clause! 🕷

Hope you're all having a lovely Christmas or if you don't celebrate it, that you're enjoying a break from work at least!

Just a quick update today as it's Christmas and I'm taking a break today

- Woke up at 04:30

- Cancelled my Amazon Prime account. Fuck Jeff Bezos. Saved me £96 (128.50 USD) a year. I'd rather give my money to smaller, independent businesses from now on than that Pandemic Profiting scumbag

- Listened to Episode #91 of Andy's Podcast - Day 91: My Biggest Challenges with Getting Laid

I've recently realised that I myself am not going all in with getting laid. In response to this, I've started to buy and use Tinder Boosts and also started using Hinge - I just like girls until my likes run out and then reset the next day where I repeat the process. I'll keep going until I get to Lay number 3

That's it from me for today

Photos posted for accountability purposes

Merry Christmas folks and take care!

Spider Clause 🕷

 

[Spider Jerusalem]

Day 76: 26/12/2021

Boxing Day Chill - Filler Post

Just had a bit of a chill today so I haven't really got much of an update!

Doing my Podcast with Andy in 2 days, so I got up late today and will the next few days as it's at 00:00 Hrs my time.

Got a few of my boring admin tasks done for my new job which I'm due to start soon.

Listened to a couple more of Andy's Podcasts

And that's about it to be honest. Took a day off after the stress of Christmas, so this is just a filler post.

Thanks for Reading!

Spider 🕷

 

[Spider Jerusalem]

Day 77: 27/12/2021

Back on it

Back on it after a chill couple of days over the festive period

- Woke up later today again due to doing the Podcast with Andy tomorrow night. The value I will get from the opportunity to speak to him is worth putting my sleep goals on hold for a while

- Made the decision to change my diet. I've decided to be more healthy going forward as I don't want to keel over by the time I'm 30 or have serious health complications as I get older and I think a 'dirty bulk' is going to wreck my health. Have started designing a diet plan which is a healthy bulk (Chicken, turkey, pasta, rice, eggs, vegetables etc.). More to follow on this ⛑

- Have also made some active decisions to be more healthy which I will seek to implement over the next few weeks as we go into 2022. More on this to follow, but one of these things on my list is to limit my coffee consumption to just 1 cup a day. I've been having 3-4 a day for the past few months and I'm conscious of my caffeine consumption. Today I have only had 1 cup and will continue this ️

- Bought some meal prep containers. Got hold of some decent ones from Igluu. Got decent reviews and could do with investing into this and taking it seriously. They should be here in a couple of days. I could've bought these from Amazon as I still have Prime until the 15th and got them tomorrow, but I'm sticking to my principles. Fuck Bezos. Went direct to supplier and I feel somewhat better in myself for doing this and sticking to my principles

- Listened to Episode #92 of Andy's Podcast - Day 92: What Kind of Girls do I Like?

Interesting to hear Andy's type. I still don't really have an idea of my type yet or what kind of girls I want to go after. I will say I don't really find myself attracted to fat, loud and obnoxious women. In the U.K (as well as across the Western World from what I can see) this is quite common. Don't really see it in places like Japan, China and Thailand - Asia in general really. I blame radical feminism and Simps for enabling this kind of behaviour. The kind that says 'It's okay to get fat, treat men like shit and if they piss you off, just #MeToo them'.

The Red Pill I do believe gets this bit right. I do like small and petite girls saying that, but it's quite difficult to attract them especially with online dating being so competitive. I'll have to work on myself a bit more before I start seeing these types of girls coming to me I think. I'm willing to put the effort in though and improve so that I get to that stage.

- Listened to Episode #93 of Andy's Podcast - Day 93: 4th 3some in 3 Weeks.

I learn a lot from these lay reports from Andy. Good to hear Imogen's perspective on them too. The masculine and feminine balance is very insightful for me and gives me an idea of how to keep everyone's feelings safe

- Listened to Episode #94 of Andy's Podcast - Day 94: Does Andy Disagree with Good Looking Loser? (Yes).

This was an important one as I've recently started to question who I listen to and not just blindly agree with everything. I've been on the GLL website and there are things I don't agree with. I also don't agree with everything that Andy, Black Dragon, MGTOW and the Red Pill say based on my own personal experiences particularly with women. I'm starting to take bits and pieces from each source which work from me and implement them into my lifestyle choices

- Finished reading Letting Go: The Pathway of Surrender

I genuinely believe this book has changed my life. I now see the merit of Letting Go and just allowing things to slide over me. I'm going to actively try to implement the techniques I've learned and I believe that my life will improve if I do. The main reason I bought the book was to alleviate the feelings of guilt after a bad experience with a girl. This has definitely helped me. I'm not 100% recovered, but I no longer lie awake in bed at night feeling guilty and full of regret. Next on my list is The Slight Edge. I believe this will be very useful as we move into 2022 - start the year right with a good base foundation.

- Cleaned and tidied my room. Got a bit neglected over Christmas, but it looks a lot better now

- Bought Hinge Premium for a month. I'm determined to get Lay 3 in the bag and I felt like I wasn't going all in. It was expensive, but got a few prospects I'm working on

That's it for today's update

Photos have been posted for accountability purposes

Thanks for reading

Spider 🕷