Trèfle's progress log - Mediocre dating streak after 11 lays

Might have been almost close to a 3rd lay (very precise i know)

Spent the morning playing some good tennis to burn the calories, went home to cook lunch and instantly got a date for the night with a very hot black girl with a killer body

Went back out to hang around with my new friend, was planning to get his help to get a pic i needed another guy for so i’m not all alone on every pics but ran into some annoying technical issues, remote refused to work after a while... Didnt want to take too much of his time so i just told him we can do it another time soon, its fine. Spent the rest of the afternoon playing video games with the guy, not very productive but it was fun

Cooked dinner then headed for my date, we went for a drink. Conversation was slightly awkward, struggled to make her talk enough about herself at times i feel, some silences felt a little too long. Still a lot of progress to do in the area, my social skills are still extremely raw but only practice and proper reflection on the things to improve will help. Invited her home after a bit, she asked how long it was from here, i said 5 mins and she said ”maybe next time”. Close enough i guess. Not that i blame myself or anything for her refusing, i know not every girl in the world will come to my place on the 1st date. I didnt end the date right away though, wasnt really used to it since its the first time i had a girl refusing the invite but still ended it after like 5 mins and walked her back to the subway station. She said she had a blast so perhaps i’ll see her again, or it was just her being nice hard to say but i’ll text her in a few days. If we meet again i’ll just invite her home in a shorter timespan

Solid day, good sport, friendship and a date. The date barely lasted an hour too so i got the whole night to enjoy, or maybe grab an early night since i didnt sleep much the last few days. Will work on photos tomorrow on times where its not raining
 
Day started out in high spirits : landed the job i wanted most ! Really good, fits everything i was looking for. Solid hours (kinda have to wake up early so the girls who work late might be tough to schedule with but i can always stay up late once in a while), great location (a short bus ride from the city center and 5 mins away from my gym), even the salary isnt bad. Means September will be the last month of extreme poverty, can’t wait to be able to afford condoms that don’t feel awful even with a drop of lube inside and socks without holes in them. Starting on Monday

Had a meeting with my job counselor right after, told him all about my in depth plan to be able to move to Paris in exactly 1 year. Won’t go into details but its well thought out i’d say, should work out. My city is good, far from small and a major university hub so the girl quality is great but theres really nothing that compares to Paris ; endless supply of the highest quality of women in my country, and, when i achieve my sexual goals, it’ll be the perfect place to focus on business too, the networking opportunities there are endless. It is one of the most expensive city in the world, and i’ll need a location in a good spot, so probably will have to work 2 jobs but its worth it. If things work out i’ll just consider the coming year in my city as a learning year, work on my fundamentals a ton while getting more and more experience with women

Started working on finding a place to move out right after the meeting and it turns out theres a million of things i needed to do first, had to do an insane amount of paperwork. Did a huge part of it today and headed for the gym completely mentally drained. Started feeling kinda dizzy/sick on the way to the gym, felt weak there too. All those days of sleeping 5 hours hit me back there. Had progress on squats and rows but actually regressed on the bench - one less rep than last time at the same weight. Unpleasant feeling. Added a 4th set of bench press to try and mitigate but i didnt like that feeling, first time since coming back to the gym that i didn’t progress on one lify

Least that helped me make a plan for the rest of the day : just postpone the photos and work on them hard tomorrow, swipe/message to try and get a date for tomorrow (things look bleak so far there, not getting matches but i’ll be around for 2 more hours) and go to bed at 9, focus on those 8 hours of sleep at all cost, no stress at all for the rest of the day
 
Rough day. Started alright with some good and intense tennis training for almost 2 hours but around the end of it I started having this extreme tiredness, like even keeping my eyes open was a challenge. Didnt even sleep that bad so perhaps some illness ?

Couldnt even manage to nap after lunch, was feeling completely dead, 0 drive 0 energy. Just decided to kinda give up on the day there, did a tiny bit of paperwork for moving out and postponed the photography again, couldnt even drag myself out of the house. I’ve been extremely consistent and serious with exercise, dieting, activity on the dating apps, job hunting but clearly not with photos, been slacking off way too much with those. Main area to improve right now. Was feeling so dead i gave up on the caffeine limit for today (shame, was low the whole week so far) just to feel some amount of energy and just focused on doing nothing at all. Quite the awful day

At least tomorrow is already shaping up to be more exciting. Got a date with a super pretty match from today at 9. I’m sure she was down to go out today but my body wasnt anywhere near ready for a date, will have to make sure i’m in slightly better shape pre-date tomorrow. I’m kinda surprised all the dates i’ve been getting so far are genuinely attractive girls (well, havent met this chick in the real world yet but she looks hot in her photos at least), was fully expecting to get nothing but overweight girls for the first few months but those ones don’t seem interested in me. Also matched this cute asian from Singapore who wants to visit me in October, should be a fun experience. Its still only 6 so i’ll aim to find dates for Sunday too (i’ll recontact that date from 2 days ago tomorrow i believe)
 
Today was... chaos. Utter chaos. But it wasnt devoid of pleasure

Went to sleep right before 10 last night like a good boy. Looked at the time upon waking up : 2 fucking AM. Coffee ruined my weekend that soon into it, how sad. Tried everything to fall back asleep for 2 hours but just kept failing

Problem was... i had plans today. Lots of plans in fact. Had to go to the gym because tomorrow would be worse and i had, in fact, 2 dates with new girls. Just thought "can’t see any other choice" and went harrrrd on the caffeine it wasnt pretty. Went to the gym afterwards, had no expectations but, well, i felt strong ! Had progress on every lift. I don’t get it but its great. Even went for sprints afterwards and they were solid

Had lunch after but there was a huge problem. I just had no time for a nap. And i wasnt even feeling alive, litterally struggled to get off my couch. But that girl seemed sweeeeet i didnt want to arrive at my 2 pm date feeling 0 / 10 on the mood scale. Was out of coffee too. So i took the shameful approach to energy aka binge eating, not out of cravings, they’re gone since dates became mostly common, but just out of pure desesperation for a sugar rush. Litterally gobbled everything out the house, mostly bread, pastries and sweets - i’d say i easily went over 3k calories. Sad thing is that it kinda worked, i was feeling hyper pre-date

Headed to my date then and she was cuuuute. Slim 22 yo brunette with big boobs, pretty face and a very interesting personality too, the convo was very enjoyable shes a very creative chick. I suck so much at this i straight up forget to bring money so we sat on a bench instead of going for drinks. Invited her home after 1 hour, she said yes (success rate for that truly is massive ain’t it). Sat on my bed, kept talking for a bit, asked if i could kiss her and we started making out. She made it very clear she was not going all the way today, period. In fact she didnt want to undress at all on the first date, seemed very adamant about it. The foreplay was long, very long, more than 2 hours of me trying to pleasure her with her clothes on, she had no issues telling me what she liked the most throughout. That magic wand is so good i made her cum with this through her jeans. She... might be a virgin. My brain was so dead i couldnt connect the dots but she said she never saw a penis before so thats a possibility i’d say. She also had quite the crush on me clearly. Kept saying how much she likes my face, my style, my way of speaking before going to my place and during the foreplay and it felt heartfelt. She even called me a "very good kisser” and that one really made me happy, i worked hard on that 1. Spent most of the time kissing, playing with her tits through clothes, licking her neck, grabbing her ass and rubbing her pussy through clothes. Rubbed my cock (through jeans) on her bare stomach for a while too and that made her moan hard, same when i rubbed it on her ass while she was cleaning her face. It was so weird in a way because the first thing she told me while kissing was ”i’m not looking for love you know” and i said it was the same and she kept telling me about a bunch of sexual things she’d like to try with me in the future during the foreplay but without, you know, having sex with me. Shes very bi in particular so she really wants to try 3somes, very interssting to me. I guess i got blueballed hard, i had this constant boner for 2 hours but i like this chick. Usually when i bring a girl back to the subway station we just trade kisses on the cheeks but that girl just casually french kissed me in public in broad daylight. Right after i told her i’m seeing another girl at night too

Tonight date was nothing interesting though. Nice girl with a decent body and i made her talk a lot about herself but i wasnt feeling it, just felt like a corpse there. Asked her if she wanted to go upstairs after 1 hour mostly to not lose the habit and she was like ”i don’t know but” and ended up saying she’d rather wait for next time but won’t be in town for quite a while. I said she can contact me when shes back but not expecting much. It was still good date pracyice

The calories were terrible, def enough to cancel all the hard work from the week. The sleep is just a concept at this point. But i’m kinda happy, that chick interests me a lot. I know it’ll be easy to go back to strict dieting tomorrow, just really really some energy for that date

Only 1 thing matters tomorrow : my health. No girls, just 1 cup of coffee, some tennis, and a early and LONG night of sleep, can’t survive longer without it
 
This is probably an alright Sunday but i do feel a bit frustrated

Started the day (slept ok surprisingly, probably more than 6 hours) with a cup of coffee, some reading, a fasted tennis training with a partner followed by a 5km run at an alright enough pace to sweat a lot, to mitigate a little for yesterday (didnt want to overdo it becaue the plan is to go to the gym before my first day of work tomorrow, too much flat grounds running is bad for my knees).

Decided on only 1 goal in the afternoon : my first cold approach. Everything was aligned, that great girl yesterday really boosted my ego with all those compliments, the weather was great. And i still completely failed, couldnt bring me to approach one. Extremely annoying, i figured having much more dating experience since the last failed attempt would change my mindset but it still doesnt. I know the AA program really is right for me but i’m afraid of not being able to fit it in my schedule (because i’d have to go all in) now that i’m working again, when you consider all the sports i have to schedule on the side. I guess doing it at night in the city center on days without dates would work ? Perhaps its worth dedicating my nights to finding my own place first but i think its the right thing to do once thats taken care of. Also considered just relying on alcohol to get that first approach done, not relying on it forever of course but just as a help on the first day since i don’t doubt its the hardest one. But now’s not the time to think about it, the rest of my Sunday will be dedicated to complete relaxation to get a great night of sleep at 9. Tomorrow won’t be the time either, starting my new job and i have a first date with a Tinder girl right after. But i refuse to be a guy who can’t cold approach for much longer

So, week retrospective

Weight :

Monday : 57.7
Tuesday (refeed) : 57.4
Wednesday : 58.4
Thursday : 57.6
Friday : 57.9
Sat : 56.9
Sun : 59.8

Obviously went insane with calories yesterday just to get out of zombie mode for dating purposes so i paid the price. I know i didnt really gain 3 kg at once, theres water retention, but it was an jnsane amount of food, probably enough to make everything else in the week useless. I went back to strict dieting easily today so thats not a food problem, its a sleep problem (i didnt even get a 6 hours night for the week until today, pretty sure thats the reason the scale has been so inconsistent - exercise amount and daily deficit arent an issue). Will keep track of my precise sleeping hours from tomorrow onward, its important to take that more seriously. Make sure i relax more before bed and truly dedicate my Sunday afternoons to unwinding, i’m too stressed

Exercise amounts were great as always, no need to think much about that part

Dating is hard to evaluate i guess ? I got 3 dates with pretty girls (another 1 scheduled tomorrow), first one was a bit awkward and i struggled to make her talk about herself but i’m happy with how i did on the other 2. Noticed i’m not stressed on dates anymore so thats great. Also doing much better on the texting clearly, response rate is just fine and i get more dates (or numbers when they live far). Obviously the highlight was that date with 2 hours long foreplay with yesterday’s hot and smart brunette who may be a virgin (all i know is that she didnt do foreplay since last September before yesterday and that she never saw a penis, i’ll ask her next time). Really vibed with that girl even if we didnt have sex yet (she teased me a ton by saying she’s really struggling to not give in and that i’m well hung and she looks forward to having me inside but she clearly cared a ton about not going all the way yesterday), she couldnt stop making out even when she had to go. Some things i didnt specify in my log too, like how she asked me during all that foreplay about what kind of relationships i want, i was honest of course and told her ”not looking for one night stands, i think its a waste to do something only once if its enjoyable but you’d never be the only girl i see” and she said that was perfect for her. She even wanted to exchange our work schedules to be able to meet often. Nothing’s guaranteed of course, didnt even have sex with the girl yet and maybe she’ll change her mind overnight but this could be the start of something promising and good for my goal of getting more experience. She was clearly nervous on the bed but i’d say i did a very good job comforting her, getting better at this stuff

Priorities of next week : improve my sleep, a lot, and work hard on finding a place to live during my free time. Theres also those photos, gotta set more time for those (i do get dates with my shitty profile so thats less important than moving out but not even close to consistent)

Logs will probably be shorter on work days
 
Great job at making the girls be more comfortable. The BDSM chick was tougher but as you've gained experience you're doing better, the girls feel better, everyone wins!

Nice! :)
 
Slept ok but nothing special (9 to 4, a tiny bit under 7 hours), went to the gym before work and the timing was insanely tight, was sweating before my final sets just looking at the minutes, even had to skip the post workout shower (i shower in the morning and arent a big sweater so its probably fine but still a little gross)

Work was good, my coworkers seem super nice. Tonight’s date canceled last minute so that was annoying, not like i could get another date in that timeframe. Got a phone call from my tennis club to say they created a new group class just to fit my schedule, glad i’m likeable

Not feeling like doing paperwork tonight, i’ll do that tomorrow and focus on starting a new book today and trying hard to get a date for tomorrow
 
Today was fucking pathetic on my end

Had work, morning was ok but afternoon started getting really shit after some phone calls that put me in a very frustrated, sad mood. Had a date at 6, not even an attractive girl it was just "the first match i got that wasnt ugly and wanted to go out on Tuesday” and i was feeling too pathetic to perform well on the date so yeah i went back to the insane pre-date binge eating of Saturday, it was just as bad but while i had tons of fun with an awesome girl on Sat, i had a mediocre time with a girl i had no interest in today for the sake of experience. I tried hard to make her talk about herself to experiment my dating skills but she clearly sensed i didnt want to be here, after like 30 mins she told me ”i’m sorry but theres really no vibe between us i’ll just go” and left, frankly i was just glad it was over and went back to eat gross Dominos with my mom. 2 months of consistent dieting just to have those two days of obliterating my diet, very disappointed in myself

Of course i’ll go back on track tomorrow but its important to think about this. There are some things that are going truly well in my life right now : exercise is very very consistent, i went from having 0 date for 25 years of living to a pretty good amount of dates (despite not working on my online dating photos nearly enough and pussying out on real life approaches), and a good % of those ending in sex with girls i’m attracted by or at least intense foreplay on my bed ; i got a job which is very important considering my money issues, theres ton of things i’ll be able to do starting next month (but my own place, tattoos, better style wont do much if i don’t work enough to get in shape)

Been binge eating because i felt miserable pre-dates those two times so it would make sense to establish a ”get happy” mental routine from now on, a way to be in a decent mood even if the day is shit. Will think about it a lot tomorrow ; i got a date with the girl i really liked a lot from last week on Thursday and i refuse to feel garbage beforehand
 
I notice you're really hard on yourself. There are plenty of guys fucking up way more than you. Be kind to yourself. Everyone makes mistakes. See those mistakes as an opportunity to grow and do not blame yourself for making them.
 
pancakemouse said:
I notice you're really hard on yourself. There are plenty of guys fucking up way more than you. Be kind to yourself. Everyone makes mistakes. See those mistakes as an opportunity to grow and do not blame yourself for making them.
Click to expand...

I think you’re right, i am genuinely proud of the progress since last month no matter how much i still want to accomplish ; my sex life is the first priority right now and i think i’m happy enough with how fast i’m moving considering i never had a legit date, kiss or lay before early August (think i’m on 2 lays + had sex once more with one of the girl, 1 hard foreplay w/o sex although she did say she wants it either ”on the second date or the third" and overall like 7 or 8 dates ? It feels decentish)

Just very annoyed at this desesperation to binge eat for pre date energy those last few days, feels like i’m wasting all my hard work, will be in a much better mood when i get rid of it
 
Good little day

Slept dreadfully, about 4 hours with horrible stomach aches that lasted the whole day, luckily i didnt poop myself at work. Felt in pretty good energy the whole day somehow

Got a text ar lunchtime from the girl i’m seeing for the second time tomorrow in the hopes of fucking her, i’ll cite : "got my period". I remembered reading something about a period girl in Andy’s logs so i googled it, read it again and texted her we can have fun even without her pink little pussy tomorrow but this’ll be a new experience for me ! Did some research and it seems eating her out is safe like sex so i wont hesitate, but it does depend on how far shes willing to go (she’ll come directly at my place). I’m excited

Work was good, i’ll relax for the rest of the day to get as much of my beauty sleep as possible, will workout and probably sprint before my date tomorrow after work. Gotta learn to feel good about myself for this kind of peaceful day, i’m eating well, did well at work despite the very low sleep why shouldn’t i be happy
 
Trèfle said:
Got a text ar lunchtime from the girl i’m seeing for the second time tomorrow in the hopes of fucking her, i’ll cite : "got my period". I remembered reading something about a period girl in Andy’s logs so i googled it, read it again and texted her we can have fun even without her pink little pussy tomorrow but this’ll be a new experience for me ! Did some research and it seems eating her out is safe like sex so i wont hesitate, but it does depend on how far shes willing to go (she’ll come directly at my place). I’m excited
Click to expand...
I've had period sex multiple times. Girls will say no to it, not because they don't want to, but because they feel gross and disgusting. One chick kept insisting that she was going to get my sheets super dirty. I told her, I have to wash them anyways since we're having sex on them, plus I wanted to buy new sheets anyways so you're giving me a good excuse to do so.

Usually you can overcome the objection by just insisting that you're fine with it. There are some girls who won't be cool with it regardless, but this is less common in my experience.

I don't usually eat out or even finger girls while on their period though.
 
Lay count isnt higher but i enjoyed today a lot

Slept VERY well for once, that felt wonderful i felt like i was on turbo for the whole day. Had work, went to the gym and the workout felt incredibly difficult i really pushed my limits, still had a handful of sprints at a great pace afterwards

Had my 2nd date with that chick i really clicked with last week right after, we went right to my place and started making out, she quickly told me that she is indeed a virgin as i highly suspected. She was a bit stressed because of her period so i proposed that we watch a Netflix movie on my bed (see how much i learned since that disaster with the first virgin !), being poor we had to use her own account but still. We opened Netflix but didnt end up watching anything cause the foreplay was very intense. Last time it was fully clothed but this time mostly naked (she was very self conscious about her pussy but i promised her i’d find it very pretty so she was fine, she didnt want me to touch it at all though). Think i did a good job, she didnt want to go too hard because she was tired but still had fun

We had a bit of pillow talk afterwards, she told me about her previous dates and times she fooled around with girls, talked a bit about her kinks and fantaisies, shes pretty adamant about wanting to try a lot of things with me once i take her virginity (her own words) but doesnt want to move too quickly. Had a boner for 2 hours without anyone to make it go away but i still had fun, liking this girl. She even told me she visited a STD place to get informations about things she’d like me to do ”if i fuck a lot of girls on the side" for safety shes so sweet. We made out a lot in the middle of the street before parting ways too

Tried Squilliam’s great post throughout, told her i don’t mind the blood since i’ll wash it tomorrow either way ect but nah she really didnt want anything to do with her pussy for today, being virgin and all i can imagine having your first time at such a time isnt appealing. Great advice though
 
Struggled a ton to fall asleep yesterday, felt too excited about that date. Or perhaps my raging boner was the cause, should have had jerked off. Either way i felt very very sleepy the whole day, didnt help that it was my very first really stressful day at work

Really wanted to use a Tinder boost tonight to try and get laid but had some issues with my credit card, couldnt do it, Had 0 energy before my tennis training and it really annoyed me since thats the first one i could schedule this week so yeah ended up giving up again and binged ate a ton beforehand. Didnt want to be too hard on myself since thats my first week at a very stressful job and i still forced myself to go multiple times to the gym and to go on multiple dates but theres still quite a big problem here, cant keep on eating all this crap every 3 days. I’m sure i’ll solve my issue with this

Plan was to stay up and try to get an insta date tonight but my stomach is really painful after all this junk, i’ll just grind to get a date tomorrow after the tennis training and sleep early tomorrow (plan is to have a tennis match on Sunday followed by my last workout of the week after lunch, will need plenty of fuel)

On a side note i had the weirdest match yesterday right after my date. Tiny cute brunette, very receptive (like, 30 seconds to respond), gave me her number very quickly to set up a time for a drink and answered the first message as fast... and then completely ghosted right away when i tried to set up an actual time (i mean, it was more than 24 hours ago so the chances are high). I like analyzing what i do wrong to improve but i’m starting to understand some of those girls just arent understandable
 
Interesting day but the diet is a bit fucked

Spent the morning doing chores, played tennis in the afternoon then decided my best course of action would be to do the final workout of the week tonight. Didnt feel like my body could handle it so i ended up relying on overeating junk once more. The workout was great, i did very well and felt great about having the drive to go to the gym at 10 pm but, u know, eating shit is very counterintuitive to each of my goals

Had a nice long walk home, used my first Tinder boost in a while on midnight and the results werent impressive at all, barely got a few matches and still didnt manage to get new dates for now (i got a cute asian at 5 tomorrow but she was like ”i’m not fully sure i’ll be available will let you know”, will message her in the early morning to prepare something else in case - i dont like last minute cancellations). Used to think living with my mom would be THE dealbreaker with women but frankly the girls i’ve been meeting so far don’t seem to care much and my profile on dating sites still being this ass feels like the bigger issue now (don’t get me wrong, moving out will still be a massive priority, i’m 25 ffs). The sun is up ’till quite late right now, i could easily set up more time for photos after work on weekdays

Fix the diet, now, 0 reason to consume awful food tomorrow, won’t need pre-sports energy, if i need a mood boost before a date i’ll just unwind on Youtube or play video games. And sleep by 9 tomorrow, wont get much slerp tonight lots of plans
 
Burned calories under the rain in the morning, diet was back on point today. Good stuff

Had a date in the afternoon, frankly had no excitement for it so i tried putting myself in a happy mood, and watching porn assuming being horny would help me get motivated for that date. Kinda helped, seemed like a good idea

But the date... Jesus christ dude i’ve never been so bored in my whole life. Chinese university teacher, but there was something that fell off from the start about that whole date from the start. Theres times when she was straight up rude, might be cultural (i doubt she disliked me, she paid for the drinks and all) but didnt make me want to stick around. Idk, didnt vibe with the girl’s personality at all. I’m sure i could have been a better talker but i just lost my mood very fast, i was nice and polite of course but i didnt even want to get laid with that chick (been slightly ill the whole day so that probably played a part). After an hour i just made an excuse to leave (awkward moment, she wanted an in depth explanation) and walked her to the subway station

Had an existantial crisis on the way home, like ”is it really worth going out with chicks i have 0 interest in ?” but it quickly went away, in the end i’m glad i went to that date. Considering my experience so far in life (as in, lack of) i really need as much practice as possible. Besides, the focus right now is on my lay count and not on quality - too much work left to do on my fundamentals to be a picker right now

That said, i’m really excited about tomorrow’s date ! Super interesting, genuinely pretty (on her pics) girl who writes a lot of music and is into creative photography. I havent been this excited about a first date since the first one with that girl i had foreplay with twice now. One slight issue : shes MUCH taller than me (by 11 cm according to her bio). I wear elevator shoes but nothing can hide a difference THAT massive. I don’t care personally, way past the point of worrying about genetics out of my control when i can still improve so much about myself, but will she care i wonder ? Either way it should be fun

So, reflecting on the week

I stopped weighting myself after Monday, this would have depressed me. Going to start doing it again starting tomorrow. But yeah i completely ruined my dieting, sure i’ve been on my usual deficit for 4 days out of 7 but on the other 3 i ate soooo much junk,way way above my maintenance. Mostly for mood issues, before exercise or dating. I want to be kind to myself since its the first job at my new job and its very stressful, and i still did my 3 workouts, some tennis, went to several dates but this cant continue, i’ve worked too hard on dieting to ruin it all - and being in shape is THE most important thing to achieve my goals with women. Gotta get more serious

Went to 3 dates (had a last minute cancellation on Monday, didnt want to date on Wednesday because i slept horribly), didnt have fun on 2 of them and the other one was a 2nd date. Not a good ratio but i’m working hard on getting plenty of dates at least, just gotta put in the same amount of efforts towards improving my profile for better consistency (and quality)
 
Been sick all day long, work was very annoying i was nauseous and struggled to keep my eyes open, felt lethargic. Maybe i shouldnt exercise under the rain after all. Did some tennis training afterwards, lifted up my mood but i still felt like shit

Was super interested in today’s date, didnt want to perform horribly so i did resort to the sin of eating a lot of junk food right before the date once more, sugar felt like the only savior

Date was fun though ! She sure was tall, more than a head above me (i had elevator shoes and she wasnt wearing high heels !) but i don’t think either of us really cared. Very pretty girl, and with quite a head too, scientist with some truly fascinating knowledge, there was pretty much no blanks in that convo it was just a lit of fun, made her talk about what she loves for a whole hour. Wasnt lacking in the killer instinct too, after an hour i asked her if she’d like to grab a glass of water at my place (still havent acquired wine im broke). Felt very stressed when asking her this, i really had a thing for that girl. She declined so i said i’d walk her back for today but we still kept the interesting convo on the way to where we parted ways and she said she had fun and that i can contact her if i want to do that again

I’ll admit, a part of me wonders if that was just niceness and she doesnt want another date (i’m quite high on the spectrum too, cant read people at all). Very curious so i’ll contact her again in just a few days, i think i’ll be a little sad if shes not interested but thats a little needy (the virgin i had foreplay with twice is coming to my place again on Thursday so either way i’m sure that’ll lift my mood in the worse case). Either way, fun date ! Very enjoyable convo with a beautiful girl + i had the guts to invite her home, what else would i need ?

Too bad i ate all this garbage, would have been a great day otherwise. Supposed to go to the gym tomorrow but i’ll postpone to Wednesday if i’m still sick, eating bad food before a date with a great girl is one thing but i’m not doing it before exercising again, too counterproductive
 
Didnt manage to sleep at all, paid the price for that bad diet all day long, my sickness worsened and work was just painful i was counting the seconds to go home

Postponed the gym to tomorrow obviously. The diet was on point, its quite easy when theres nothing i need an energy boost for

Dating was bad though. Used a Tinder boost to get a date for tomorrow but it didnt amount to anything. Not only that, my new favorite virgin texted me she might cancel our next date because shes not in the mood for love right now. I was feeling good after yesterday’s fun date but things are still extremely inconsistent for me clearly. Which makes sense but i do have a ton of stuff planned for the weekend so i feel like i won’t even be able to work a lot on my photos this week. Am I slacking off too much on my main focus i wonder ? Will think more on a rested mind tomorrow, i can always get started on some photos after the gym tomorrow since a date’s not looking likely
 
Today was... Yeah i’m trying to be an optimist but today was very very bad, it legit couldnt have been worse on every end

I slept super well so i was being very productive at work, mood was great... and then in the morning i got summoned to the director’s office to learn i sucked so bad yesterday, made some focus mistakes while feeling dead, that they decided to fire me immediately without a way to fix things. Ruthless job. Not only that, i was forced to stay there for 4 more hours to get my pay for the day (i’m getting paid for the rest of the week too so Thursday + Friday, thats 1 positive). Can you guess i was feeling really freaking sad ? They didnt want to give me any more work at this point too so i pretty much spent 4 hours staring at the wall

Had 0 willpower to go to the gym at this point, i really wanted this job to work. I’m getting paid for about half a month i guess but back to the hunt then. I was broken mentally, just spent the rest of the day cheering myself on fast food up to stomach aches levels. Tried to swipe, got 0 interesting match. Tried to text the tall girl from Monday like 48 hours after our first date but she said shes not interested in another date, not enough in common between us for her. Yeah this wasnt the best day ever

I genuinely fail to see a way today could have been worse. I feel very sad right now, maybe that sweet virgin i went pretty far with twice won’t want to meet up again too ? But i think its 1 of those days that really define how much you want to succeed probably. Of course i skipped the exercise today, ate terribly, lost my job, got ditched by a girl i was interested in, felt very sad but all that matters is how i recover from it aint it

I’ll get back to the job hunt... soon. Its not a vague soon, its going to be in the very near future but i want a day or two away from that after today. Maybe i won’t obsess too hard with girls for the rest of the week too, that 1 not wanting another date hits a little hard. Just swipe a little each day, try to get some dates (i wont receive money for 2 more weeks so even some boosts will be tough), not worry too hard if i fail

For the next couple of days the only things i want to worry about is my happiness, fixing my diet as a massive priority (wont be a big issue without the work stress at least), and getting my 3 workouts of the week done (ill be forced to do consecutive days but its no big deal, i know how i function). Definetely dedicate some time for my Tinder photos too, got more free time for a bit now

Rough day, very tough on the nerves. I’ll come back stronger from it tomorrow
 
Disappointed myself again today, not working nearly hard enough right now

Barely slept 3 hours, that feast yesterday messed me up. Got my eyebrows trimmed and got a haircut, was set on taking things slowly before a night session at the gym

Problem was, i really felt bad before the gym. Complete lack of sleep of course but i was also coughing a lot. Ended up binging on sweets as a desesperate attempt once more, prepared to head there... and immediately got bad diarrhea from the junk i ate, by the time it started calming down it was too late to go to the gym, closing time. Freaking pathetic, i’m ruining all the progress these past days

But i figured the issue here at least, i really struggle with the idea of not lifting enough weight / doing worse than last time when i go to the gym on bad sleep / health. But i really shouldnt, in the end its just supplemental material to losing weight which is the main focus rn, the strength / muscle building isnt mandatory at every workout. Tomorrow morning i’m going right upon waking up, i don’t care if i don’t lift enough it’ll feel good to just get it done

Dating was trash, got... 1 match. She was pretty but i didnt get a response to my first message yet so its not leading anywhere for now

Finally managed to get my new laptop fixed, about time, so i’ll finally be able to use my camera’s sd card whenever i want and learn Photoshop
 
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